I was Already Home
by SaraEMC2
Summary: Bella had a rough childhood growing up and her only solace was with her best friend’s family the Cullen’s. All-human **As of 6/9 This Story is in the process of being Beta**
1. Cliff Notes of My Past

**Thank You _Laurajaexo for being so awesome and taking her time to Edit this for me._**

BPOV

When I originally found out my news, I was completely startled because it was the last thing I'd ever expected to happen to me. But it was the one piece of news that could strengthen my epiphany I had a few weeks ago. This news gave me the courage to get my life back on track and to change my life for the better.

I got dressed and drove to his house. For the first time, I was not going to him to find comfort because I had a problem. I need his help, but I was going to him to give my good news. But before I get to that, maybe I should give you the back story so you can understand what lead me to even have this revelation about my life.

When I was at the ripe age of four, I met my lifelong best friends Edward, Alice and Emmett Cullen. Edward actually was Esme sister's Elizabeth Masen son but when both his parents died when he was three, Esme and Carlisle took him in as one of their own. Out of the three, I was the closest to Edward. For some reason I was drawn to him. We were two peas in a pod and while Alice liked playing with her Barbie's and Emmett with his video games, Edward always entertained me with his love of music, reading and art which happen to be my interest as well.

Esme and Carlisle had signed him up for piano lessons and I wanted to learn too, but my parents couldn't afford it. So whenever Edward came back from his lessons he taught me whatever he had just learned and even though I know how to play now, I was nowhere near as great as he is.

Once the fighting between my parents started when I was about ten, my parents began fighting more and more. So to escape the constant bickering I would sneak over to the Cullens house and crawl into Edward's bed to sleep. There were times when both my father and mother would take their frustration they'd for each other out on me by beating me or talking down on me.

My parents were smart about the abuse whenever they were to hit because my bruises would never be in visible places. Whenever I went over to the Cullens I would just crawl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep while Edward tried to soothe me even though he never knew the reason why I was crying.

As I look back now, I've realized that was my first mistake because they didn't find out the magnitude of abuse I was going through until I was about the age of 15 and it was by accident they found out.

It was during gym class and I normally waited before all the girls leave the locker room before changing. When I saw no one was in the locker room anymore I began to change into my gym clothes. As I was changing, I heard a gasp that came from behind me. I slowly turned to see Alice standing right behind me.

I remember her words clear as day "Oh my god Bella who did that to you? I'm going to go find Edward and get to the bottom of this." Edward was always so protective of me and I tried to shield this from him; so I pleaded with Alice not to tell anyone but my pleading fell on death's ears.

Next thing I knew both Emmett and Edward were interrogating saying they'll hurt the monster that gave me these bruises on my back but instead of doing the noble thing, I lied and blamed it on my klutziness. Alice and Emmett believed my lies easily, but Edward wasn't. He always said my facial expressions, the tone of my voice and the things I do with my eyes makes me an open book.

Edward did not let Alice and Emmett know I was lying to them. Instead, he gave me the one thing he knew I needed at that moment: a reassuring hug letting me know he's there for me always. That night when I crawled into his bed, he told me "Bella I protected your secret in school because I saw your fear and embarrassment. But I would not be a good friend to you if I sit back and do nothing. It kills me to see you so broken every night and not once did I ask the reasons why I just comfort you. But after today, I know why and I not going to sit around while they continue to destroy you."

Mistake number two: instead of opening up to Edward, I took my anger and frustration out on him when he was just trying to be the loyal and supportive friend. So me being the stupid person that I was, I stood up smack him in the face and yelled "Minded your god damn business Cullen. They're my parents and I love them, despite their faults and they're all I have and I wouldn't betray their trust."

Boy was I a idiot for saying that as I think back on it.

I did not wait for his response because I stormed out his house and went back to my house and slept, well attempted to sleep, in a bed I haven't slept in over the last five years.

Edward's parents came over the next morning to speak to my parents and that just made things worse between my parents and me. I didn't know which sort of abuse was worse; my father's physical or my mother's verbal. After that day, I avoid all the Cullens like a plague because I felt so betrayed by them. Over the course of the next few weeks, whenever one of them tried to approach me, I would ignore them or walk the opposite direction.

Every night when I got home, I would be angry and disgusted with myself for shutting them out that I would forcefully throw up the contents in my stomach. It brought me comfort, but no matter what I did, I could not escape the loneliness. I knew I was hurting myself by continuing to push them away and doing the things I started doing, but I had too much pride to approach them; especially after my behavior and for spazzing out on Edward.

Over the course of the next 6 months, I still did not find the courage to approach and apologize to the Cullens, nor did they stop trying. But silly me kept telling myself they're only doing this out of pity. I mean seriously, how could anyone care for me? My own parents told me everyday how worthless I was. I took my parents abuse with stride and continued to slip further into depression, throwing up my food. I found a new source of comfort to deal with the loneliness. I started drinking; yes, I, Isabella, Swan became an alcoholic at the age of 15.

In addition, I came to realize the more I drank, the more numb I became and that the pain did not phase me when I was drunk; that lead to another horrible trait: I began cutting myself on my inner thigh. The weird part about all this was that I have a low tolerance for blood, but whenever I did this it was like some kind of gratification being release and I was euphoric.

My behavior was definitely spiraling out of control. I went from weighing 120 pounds down roughly to about 85-90 pounds. Once I started hanging out with the guys from the Rez, rumors started going around about me that I was "The Rez whore". They even ran trains on me nightly. My favorite rumor was that my rapid weight loss was because I had AIDS. I never spoke up for myself so even though the rumors were false. People always assumed they were true. I heard that Edward and Emmett fought some of the guys at school whenever they talked badly about me. Alice even broke Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley's noses.

Even when I kept pushing them away, they kept defending me and my honor. Their actions made me feel even more of a coward. One day, I was sitting on the bathroom floor and I let everything out, not even aware that someone had entered the bathroom until I felt someone cradle me up in their lap and rocked me back and forth like I was an infant.

Through the tears I saw it was Edward that was cradling me and Alice and Emmett were either rubbing circles in my back or holding my hand telling me, "It's okay to cry Bella. Let everything out we're here no matter what forever and always."

Shortly after, Carlisle and Esme showed up. When Carlisle tried to take me out of Edward's embrace, I screamed, "no I need him please don't let me go Edward."

"Shhh Bella, its okay I'll carry you to the car," Edward said. Before leaving the bathroom, I felt a pinch in my arm before I fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up feeling out of it and sore. I realized I was nestled in someone's chest. I looked up and saw Edward staring down on me with sadness in his eyes. He tried to give me a reassuring smile, but it never touched his eyes. Even in the safety of his arms, I still couldn't bring myself to apologize, so I continued to stare into his eyes trying to show him that I was sorry for causing him pain, but also thanking him for being here with me. Edward knows me too well because he just nodded his head and no words were spoken between us.

Carlisle and Esme informed Child Services about my parents and asked if I could be placed with them. However, Child Services did not do much being that my father was the Chief of Police. They believed him when he told them I was accident-prone and all my bruises are self-inflicted, which my cutting proved his lies.

Even though they did believe his lies about not abusing me, they did inform my parents that they failed to protect me by not noticing my malnourishment and self-destructive behavior. As far as me going to live with the Cullens, Child Services thought it would be in my best interest that I be placed in foster care but being that the Cullens were next door neighbors to my parents, it would not be wise to place me with them.

Child Services, being the idiots that they are ended up placing me in a foster home that was worst than living with my actual parents. The Nomads were the worst foster parents imaginable and I was beaten to the point where I was unconscious. One night I snuck out and had Edward pick me up so I could sleep in his bed and when I tried sneaking in the next morning, I received the worst beaten every time. The Nomads eventually nailed my window shut, took my bedroom door off and forbade any type of contact with the Cullens and threaten Edward's life. I feared the Nomads so much that I believed them because if you looked at the things they could do to me, I can only imagine what they'll do to Edward. I ended up dropping out of high school, which guaranteed no contact with the Cullens. I practically became a live-in slave to the Nomads.

I got a fulltime job and even though I received a paycheck every week not once did I get to see it because I had to give it to the Nomads immediately. Dropping out of school was a blessing in disguise because it made the Cullens suspicious and they took Child Services to court, attempting to get custody of me. I remembered the day Edward saved me.

James, one of the Nomads' older sons, had to pick me up from work because I was not allowed to go anywhere myself for they feared I'll run off.

He had just pulled up with a bunch of his friends and I could smell the alcohol on them. They started pulling my hair, slapping me, and calling me all sorts of degrading words. Edward just happen to be driving to the store. The next thing I knew, Edward, Emmett, and a few of their friends were fighting James and his friends. The police were called and were going to arrest Edward, Emmett, and their friends, but I pleaded with the cops for them not to. They were only defending me from getting beaten and hurt.

The cops ask me if they could give me a ride somewhere once they had James and his friends in the back of the police cars. I knew this was my chance for freedom. For once in my life, I actually manned up and told them that Emmett was my brother he would take me home. Once I was at the Cullens' house, they immediately called their lawyers and had an emergency hearing so I could be place under their care.

The courts eventually approved that not only do I get to live with the Cullens, but since my parents signed over their parental rights, the Cullens could adopt me as well. I should have been happy, but I caused so much damage that I was nothing but an empty shell. I refused to go back to school so Esme homeschooled me and I generally just stayed in my room.

Whenever anyone would come into the room to try to talk, I only responded when asked a question. Never volunteering too much information that was not pertaining to what I was being asked. When I had nightmares, I would sometimes crawl into bed with Edward. He never asked any questions.

The Cullens eventually decided that I needed therapy, but that turned out to be a waste because all I did for an hour was sit around and stare at the walls. After everything I'd been through, it was too hard for me to let anyone in. The only person who saw glimpses of my old self was Edward, but those were rare occasions.

When I was 17, I received my diploma due to my advance level of being homeschooled. I decided that I needed to get away to find myself. The Cullens felt that maybe I should wait till Edward finished high school in a year, but I told them "I need to learn how to have a life and trust others outside of my comfort zone."

That was the first time Edward proclaimed his love for me, but Edward deserved someone who is whole and not broken, someone better than me and most important someone who could love him back fully.

I let Edward down gently, "Edward you're the greatest friend I could've ever ask for, but I know someone there is someone out there for you that's going to love you completely, but that someone is not me Edward."

Edward told me that I just had to open my eyes and I would see that all I want is here with him and the rest of his family. Part of me wanted to believe it, but a bigger part of me knew it was unrealistic.

"Edward I love you, really, I do; but not the way you want me to. I come with too much baggage and I would hate myself if you and I were in a relationship and you woke up one morning tired of my shit and kick me to the curb."

Edward continued pleading with me all that week right up until it was time for me to leave.

But all I just kept saying was "just let me go please Edward" as I said good-bye to everyone else. Edward hung in the back crying silently and at the moment I wished I could be the person he wanted me to be. But it was also in that moment that I realized I could never be that person, because that was not the first time I caused him to look so sad and hopeless.

I closed the distance between him and I and wiped his tears telling him, "you see Eddie, if I was her, she wouldn't be causing those tears."

He gave me a weak smile saying, "you are her you just don't realize it yet." Before I could speak Edward captured my face between his hands and attacked my lips with the most passionate kiss ever. It was my first kiss ever. I tried to fight it, but I figured I might as well give this to him at least, so I responded. I broke the kiss apart and made the mistake of looking into his eyes. It broke my heart because I saw nothing but love. I felt his love in the kiss, but he deserved better. I gave him a light peck on his lips and said, "goodbye Eddie I love you."

As I turned around and walked away I heard him say, "Too bad not enough to make you stay."

After I left, I cried many nights of loneliness wishing I was back home in Forks with Edward and the rest of the Cullens, but I had to prove to myself I could make it without them. During my first few months away, I sent them bogusly cheerful emails. I could lie so easily writing, oppose to actually speaking to someone.

During this time away, for the first year at college, I felt extremely lonely, but I refused to go home because it would show I was a failure and that I couldn't do anything without the Cullens, especially Edward. My roommate was highly into partying than she was when it came to academics. It was her who got me into drugs, but none of the drugs were too heavy. One thing I do want to make clear is even though my life was wild and out of control, I had morals. When I say I have morals, I mean that even with everything that I did, I refused to fully give myself to anyone. So yes the depressed girl searching for herself who happens to also be bulimic, a formal cutter, an alcoholic and a occasional drug user (weed, speed, X), and is still a virgin, still has some type of morals.

I eventually dropped out of college after just one academic year and not because I had poor grades, I managed to maintain a 3.0 GPA, but I felt like college was holding me back from life. Yes, I was that stupid and naive that I thought I was too good for college. The Cullens did not approve of this decision but what could they possibly do? I was an adult. So even though they did not want to, they supported my decisions.

I ended up travelling the Continental USA and meeting two people who will eventually play a pivotal role in my life. I also started dating random guys and bringing some of them home to the Cullens' household and they of course did not approve, especially when some of these guys turned abusive and controlling.

During these times, whenever I was having issues, I eventually started relying heavily on Edward, because he was my escape from the pain. His door was always open. But when he told me to "leave these assholes," I just told him I couldn't, "I love them". Yeah my answers were always along those lame lines. This routine went on for at least 4 years and one time I came home to see one of them cheating, so I ended up getting plastered on Edward's door in the pouring rain.

It was at this time I had an epiphany of sorts but I wasn't sure if it was because of the alcohol or what so I isolated myself from Edward, Alice and Emmett. Only Carlisle and Esme knew what I was up to though because I had to confide somewhat into someone. It was during this time I started seeing things more clearly and it was always during this time that I lead to an unbelievable discovery, which brings us somewhat full circle in my previously fucked up life you'll learn more along the way.

So you see, I was a fucked up individual and I came to realize almost 4 years later that ever since then, I was looking for what I already had with Edward and the Cullens. What does that mean you may ask? The answer is simple I was already home. I was just too blind by my fears, insecurities and past to see it. Even the lyrics to the song sums up everything I've ever felt.

Packed my bags and kissed your cheek

Turned around so I didn't see you cry, you cry

Sometimes you just can't explain

The reasons why you have to say goodbye, goodbye

It took something, it took falling,

It took distance, it took time,

It took a lot of getting lost to realize

I was already home, right where I was supposed to be

You were right in front of me

I was not alone

I was already home, sometimes you're too close to see

the one thing that you really need has been there all along

it took leaving you to know, I was already home

It took a long long road to see,

what matters most in life to me was gone was gone

but I thought what I was looking for

was right here waiting at your door

I was wrong, so wrong

It took tumbling, it took falling,

It took distance, it took time,

It took a lot of getting lost to realize

I was already home, right where I was supposed to be

You were right in front of me

I was not alone

I was already home, sometimes you're too close to see

the one thing that you really need has been there all along

It took leaving you to know, I was already home

I was so caught up in the thrill of

something different something, something new,

it took a lot of missing you to see the truth

I was already home, right where I was supposed to be

You were right in front of me

I was not alone

I was already home, sometimes you're too close to see

the one thing that you really need has been there all along

it took leaving you to know, I was already home

It took leaving you to know

I was already home

I was already home

Ha Ash


	2. Too Little Too Late

**Thank You _Laurajaexo for being so awesome and taking her time to Edit this for me._**

Chapter 2- It's Just Too Little Too Late

EPOV

After that day over a month ago, I thought things were going to be different with Bella and maybe I had finally gotten through to her. But it's been a month and there was no word from Bella. I'd spoken to Alice and she told me it was time I put my foot down and realize that I can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. She once said, _"as much as I love Bella like my own sister, she's told me repeatedly that she's not the one for you and I'm beginning to think she's right. Edward, how can she heal if, no matter what happening in her life, your door is always open? Maybe if you turn her away, just once, she'll see what's been in front of herself all along, when she doesn't have that instant comfort you have to offer her."_

I thought about Alice's words as I drove home. I was going to seek out my parent's advice as well, but for the last month, they've been kind of quiet whenever conversations had to do with Bella. It was like they were hiding something about her from all of us. I was overly stressed as I pulled into my driveway and thought maybe after a good night's rest would make me feel better.

When I opened my front door, I was a bit surprised to see Bella sitting on the couch, waiting for me and by her expression, she looked extremely nervous about something. What pissed me off, though, was when I looked down at her wrist she had medical gauzes wrapped around both of her wrists. _Great_, I thought, _she's back to fucking cutting herself_. I wondered if maybe Alice is right. She caught on to what I was staring and began fidgeting even more.

She motioned for me to sit next to her, but Alice's words kept swimming through my mind. She used the words she always used that made me take Alice's advice,

"Edward I need you right now and I need you to hear me out because…" But I did not let her finish before I cut her off.

"Bella I cannot deal with this right now. Could you please leave?" She looked taken back that I was kicking her out, but she still tried to get her point across

"Edward, I really need you to hear me out right now please." She was pleading with me through her eyes, but I couldn't do it anymore. Alice was right. Hell, when is Alice ever wrong? I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew not only that I was about to break my own heart, but I was going to hurt Bella in the process.

I felt her wrap her arms around me saying, _"_Eddie you know you can tell me whatever is troubling you right?" I wanted to hug her back, but I just tensed up because I knew if I hugged her, my resolve would crumble. I emptied my face of all emotions as she stepped back once she realized I did not return her embrace "Eddie what's troubling you?"

_This was it_, I told myself, _no turning back now Edward_.

"Bella it's you that's troubling me. I cannot deal with this anymore. I thought that by always being here for you through the years you'd change, but I've come to realize that you'll never change and you're draining the life out of me Bella."

I almost gave in when I saw my words hurt her but I kept telling myself that this is the best thing to do

"Edward maybe you should hear me out before you continue this conversation." I was fuming that she wanted to, but we were back to the reason why she was here instead of the issue I was throwing on the table, so I began yelling at her.

"Why should I listen to you Isabella? So you can tell me what some asshole did to you this time or listen to your stupid reason about why your back to cutting yourself again? For crying out loud! You're 21 years old! When the fuck are you going to grow up? I cannot do this anymore Isabella. I will not be that outlet you can run to anymore when some asshole cheats on you or abuses you, whether it is physically or mentally."

She cut me off. She was shaking and in tears now. "Edward would you just shut up and hear me out? I'm begging you."

"No. I am done listening to the same story you've been telling for the last 4 years. You need to get help so you can truly re-evaluate your lifestyle. Most importantly, you're not good for me Isabella. You've been telling me this since I first told you my feelings and you know what? You're right. All you are going to do is end up drowning me further into your madness, which I refuse to continue along this path any longer. So PLEASE just get the hell out my home and leave the keys."

She opened her mouth to say something, but whatever emotion she saw on my face she just closed her mouth and nodded instead. I kept my back to her as she walked towards the door. I did not want her to see the tears that started spill nor did I want to see her sadness or her tortured expression.

I heard when she placed the keys on the table. When she paused at the door, she whispered ever so softly that I almost did not hear her, "I sorry Eddie truly I am. Forgive me, goodbye and I love you Eddie."

As soon as she closed the door, I fell on my knees and broke down crying. This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and part of me regretted it. I knew I couldn't be alone right now, so I picked up my phone and called Alice.

Alice showed up with Emmett not too long after I called her. We agreed it was the best thing to do. We were talking when I heard a beeping noise come from the kitchen. I was shocked to see that it was the timer from the oven and there was food in it, which meant Bella must have cooked. As I looked around the kitchen, I realized she had brought groceries. The dining room was set up for what appeared to be a private intimate dinner for two, with candles and everything. I began to feel like an ass because Bella never did things like this when she was going through issues. Even Alice and Emmett were shocked by all of this.

We all decided to call her, but all her calls were forwarded to her voicemail. I started to get a weird feeling that I should have listened to she had to say, I should have given her a chance to explain the gauzes on her wrist. Most importantly, I should not have kicked her out the way I did because knowing Bella, she'll do something rash.

The house phone had began ringing shortly.

"Hello Bella is that you?" I answered, without looking at the caller ID.

"No Edward its Mom. I was actually calling to see if Bella was still by you so I would know when to come pick her up."

"She left already Mom. I sorry, but I couldn't do it anymore so I kicked her out and told her some things…"

"YOU WHAT EDWARD?!?"

"Mom I understand you're upset, but this was the only way to get through to her so she can get the help she needs. Plus she's cutting herself again."

"Edward, Bella is _not_ cutting herself again. I picked her up from a tattoo parlor before I took her grocery shopping so she could cook for you. She had important news that she'd wanted to share with you before she shared with the rest of us. And as far as her getting help goes Edward, you might have just ruined the progress she had been making."

She didn't cut herself. It was a tattoo. Fuck.

"Mom, what are you talking the progress she already made? No one has heard from Bella in months and all of a sudden, she's in my apartment with gauze on her wrist. What was I suppose to think?"

"You were supposed to hear her out! Why did you choose now to listen to others' advice? Edward, the reason why no one has heard from Bella in the last month was because she didn't want anyone to know what she was up to, especially you."

"What are you saving mom?"

"You remember the last time Bella came to you a month ago?"

"Yes."

"Well whatever happened between you two that night, the next morning Bella came home with a duffle bag telling us she was ready to get help, but she preferred if it stay between just your father and I. She began therapy and even registered to start classes over the summer. She was finally beginning to show some life. Something also happened a week ago that made her ecstatic, but she refused to tell us until you knew first, which was what she was planning on doing tonight."

The only thing that went through my mind as my mother was saying all of this was, _fuck I'm an idiot and probably did just ruined Bella's recovery._

"Edward? Edward are you still there?"

"Yes mom, just thinking about how I messed up big time."

"Edward don't worry. I'm sure Bella won't do anything rash; she'll just probably need some time. But Edward I really wished you had heard her out first."

After hanging up with my mother, I turned to see Alice and Emmett behind me. Alice spoke up asking what was wrong. I retold everything mom just told me and when Alice tried to comfort, but I was too mad at myself that I took it out on them both.

"LISTENING TO YOU BOTH MADE ME I FUCK UP EVERYTHING!" I yelled. After that, I kicked them out.

BPOV

Karma truly is a bitch and I'd just learned that first handed. I ran from Edward's house and just kept running without knowing where I was going to go. All I kept thinking was that if Edward felt this way about me, I can imagine how the rest of the Cullens felt. I had no one to blame but myself.

I looked at my wrist, cursing myself because it wasn't until he saw them that he started going off on me. I should've removed them to show him I wasn't cutting myself but that I just gotten two tattoos this morning. But when he was telling me these things, I drew a blank.

I always knew one day that this would happen; after all, I did put him through a lot of shit. I was selfish to not have seen things clearly earlier, but I needed Edward then and knew he would always be there. But I never thought about how my actions were affecting him. Right now, I wanted to go down the path of self-loathing, but I realized that I never got a chance to tell him my good news. I was tempted to turn around and go back to his apartment to lay everything out it the open. But I refused to cause him anymore pain. So I headed to the bus station, vowing this would be the last time I cause any of the Cullens pain. I left the state of Washington for good this time, promising maybe one day I'll send them a letter explaining everything.

EPOV

A week passed. No word from Bella. She never even showed up back home to get her things

A month passed and still nothing.

I blamed myself. Alice and Emmett blamed themselves as well.

Esme went through the motions of losing another child again and even though she'll never admit it, I know she blames me too.

We hired a private detective to try to find her, but he came up empty-handed. The detectives could not find anyone named Isabella Swan or Isabella Cullen. It was as if she had disappeared off the face of the earth.

A year passed and still no emails or phone calls. Nothing from Bella.

I never gave up hope on trying to find her and I would always regret what happen that day. I hoped that one day I would be able to make it up to her; but I had to move on with my life and career. So when it came time for my residency, I moved to Chicago. I even kept my cell number the same, hoping that one day she would call me.


	3. Hello Again

**Thank You _Laurajaexo for being so awesome and taking her time to Edit this for me._**

Chapter 3 – Hello Again

5 ½ years Later

BPOV

I walked up to my last table pulling out my order pad and without looking up "Welcome to Twilight my name is Isabella and I'll be your waitress this morning and I…" But before I could finish I heard gasps coming from my table.

I slowly looked up at them to see what was the cause for the gasping. My posture immediately became rigid after seeing five very familiar faces and one that I did not recognized. I looked between the others and tried to figure out the problem.

Esme was the first one to speak up "Bella, darling?"

I wanted to speak but I was too shock to find my voice. This is definitely not how I envisioned this moment nor was I ready to face him because I was still ashamed of my actions that caused him pain. I knew then if he learned now what I wanted to tell him so long ago, he would hate me more and he'd blame himself. I simply closed my eyes while taking a deep breath and nodded my head, praying to be strong enough to get through this. However, I felt the traitor tears running down my cheek. Instead of standing there being strong, I ran into the employee lounge and collapse into a corner.

I let the tears run freely and Angela, one of my closest friends, who also happen to be the owner, came to check up on me after I ran off. She offered to take over my table herself while I collected myself. That is one of the many reason I love Angela; she never asked any questions and always tried to look out for my well-being. She never pried and even though I was tempted to take her up on her offer, I knew I couldn't run from my them anymore.

"Thanks Ang, it's okay. Could you just get their drink orders for me while I get myself together?"

"Sure," she replied.

I went into the employee bathroom to splash some water on my face, reapply my makeup and mentally prepare myself to go out there to face my past. I've kept so much from them within the last 5 ½ years and I owe it to everyone in my life, both presently and the past, to finally lay all my cards on the table and let the chips fall wherever they may.

I came back out after Angela took their drink orders. When I took the tray to from her to bring it to their table she gave me a reassuring smile and said, "you need a little pick me upper, so after this so I called in a favor for you."

I did not stop to think about what her words meant because all my mind was focusing on the task of what I was about to do. As I approached the table, I heard the strawberry blonde asking everyone, "what the hell was going on and who was I to them?" But before anyone could answer her, I brought out their drinks, asking who had which drink and apologized for running off.

As I was handing out the drinks, I saw from the corner of my eyes Edward, the woman sitting next to him, and Alice eying my tattoos on my wrist. I also noticed when the woman put her left hand with a big rock on it on top of Edward's hand after seeing my was happy. He was engaged and my reappearance into their lives would definitely cause him more pain than the rest of the Cullens.

As I asked them if they ready to order, the blonde had ask again if anyone was going to explain what was going on. I noticed everyone but Edward eying her with disgust.

Edward whispered, "Tanya sweetheart, now's not the place nor time to discuss this. I'll explain everything to you later."

I was a bit hurt by the fact that either that she didn't know who I was, which meant Edward was too ashamed to even discuss me, or that I was not important enough to tell his fiancée. I could only image how things well go when he learns what I wanted to tell him years ago.

I wanted to cut the tension and showed I was okay, even though I secret wasn't, discussing who I was. So I extended my hand to her.

"Tanya right? My name is Isabella. I'm…" I stuttered for a moment because I did not know how to introduce myself. I doubted after all this years they still considered me a daughter or part of the family. "An old family friend to the Cullens."

I saw sadness touch Esme's eyes when I did not introduce myself as her daughter, nor did I miss the look of frustration she gave Edward.

Alice spoke up while jumping up to hug me proclaiming, "That's nonsense Bella. You've always been more than a family friend. I do not know any family friends who have the last name Cullen." I smiled at that while hugging her back. It was long before Esme joined in on the hug and whispered, "Dearest Bella I've missed you so much."

I hugged Esme tightly, feeling like if I let her go she would be gone. She may not be my mother by blood, but she's been more of a mother to me than Renee had been.

"I've missed you too Mom and as much as I love this reunion right now, please let me take you guys' order. That way we can talk while its being prepared."

Tanya choose the moment to interrupt. I saw all the Cullens, except Edward, get annoyed with her again. She turned to Edward and asked him, "why would a family friend have the last name Cullen and why did she just call your mother Mom?" Edward just shook his head before putting his finger to her lips, shushing her. It was at that moment I knew if I'm going to get through this, I couldn't look at them because I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't. It was my fault things were they way they were.

Once I had taken their orders, I sat with them. Everyone began tell me what was going on with their lives during the last 5 ½ years and how they were in town visiting Edward. I thought to myself _I wonder how long Edward has been in Chicago_, but I just couldn't bring myself to ask him any questions. I figured since he didn't ask me any, he did not care about my life to want to know.

When they asked about my life, I told them about how I was just working at the restaurant to help out my friend, the owner. She was short-staffed today. I also told them that I eventually finished my B.A. degree before going on to obtain my Masters. When they asked about my personal life, I told them I couldn't discuss that with them here because there are some complicated, but positive things, in my personal life that I would rather reveal to them in private.

They nodded their heads in understanding. I got up to get them their meals. I let them to eat their meals in private. Once they were finished, we continued talking. Esme invited me back to their hotel so we could catch up, but right before I could answer I heard a very familiar voice saying loudly, "I heard someone need a pick me upper so I brought two little gifts." Now Angela's words made sense. I cursed under my breath because this I not where I wanted this to happen.

I saw shock register on the Cullens' faces, especially when the little boy that was in arms of the man reached out to me and said, "Momma, Auntie Angela called and said you were sad today, so we came to surprise you." I could not help but smile at my little boy. I was glad now that the Cullens could really see his face under his hat.

"Aww baby, you know you always make me happy." I looked up the voice and said, "Ummm Jazz I think you're missing one. You said two gifts. I only see one."

Jasper kissed me on my forehead and before pouting. "Here I thought I was a gift in your life too." Before I could answer him Rosalie came in with my other bundle of joy.

I gave my little boy back to Jasper before taking my little girl in my arms. "Hey princess, thanks for the surprise Angel."

"Mommy, I'm not a princess. I'm a mechanic."

Laughter broke out behind me. It was then I remember the Cullens and I whispered to Jasper if he could take them into the employee lounge. I mouthed 'the Cullens' while pointing to the table behind me. He nodded his head before ushering them off into the kitchen. Rosalie seeing what I mouthed, stayed put. I prayed she kept her mouth shut.

Once Jasper and the kids were out of sight, Rosalie eyed everyone at the table.

"So which one is the asshole who…" she said loudly. I elbowed her before she could continue. I turned back to the Cullens and thought, _could today get any harder before any of them could ask any questions?_

I repeated to them, "I cannot talk about my personal life here, especially now that my children are here, because I will not subject them to any issues that may arrive what I reveal to you."

This was the first time I actually looked Edward in the eyes. I saw so many emotions flicker in them and a few that I did not recognize. I turned to Rosalie to get my point across how serious I was.

"Rose, I also expect you to be civil. You are as well aware of some things and the reasons behind them." She nodded. Once her posture was less tense, I introduced the Cullens. As I was about to introduce Edward, Rosalie glared hard at him, but kept it pleasant. She nearly lost her cool, though, when Tanya eyed her up and down.

I also informed the Cullens that the guy they saw earlier is Rosalie's twin brother, Jasper. From the looks on some of their faces, I knew what they had assumed, but I chose not to correct that assumption just yet. I turned back to Rose and asked her if she could give me a minute while I finish up with the Cullens. She reluctantly agreed. I was extremely grateful because the one thing I learned about Rose is that it's hard for her to hold that mouth of hers.

Once she was gone, I turned to the Cullens. "You have to excuse Rosalie's behavior. She's extremely protective of me and my children."

"Wait…You…You're a mother?" Edward blurted out like he couldn't believe it, his tone a bit harsh. I heard Alice mumble, "Thanks for finally pointing it out Mr. Obvious." I just locked my gaze on Edward's

**EPOV**

It's just typical of Karma to pay me back after finally getting the courage to ask Tanya to marry me. Then Bella comes back into my life as the waitress when I decided to take my family out to discuss my engagement. I was ashamed of everything I said to her that day, especially since I hit below the belt that day and threw one of her fears back at her. Bella always told me how one day I would just get fed up with her and kick her to the curb, even though no matter how many times I told her I would never do it.

Sadly that's exactly what I did because I was an idiot. Had I only let her talk, maybe she would have never run away. But even though I hated to admit it, the Bella standing before us was nothing like the Bella that left us. The Bella I remembered was lost, had dark circles under her eyes, which were also lifeless, dull brown hair, and was nothing but skin and bones. This Bella is glowing, with shiny hair, her complexion pale (not in a bad way), her once sad-looking brown eyes were beautiful and full of life, and her curves became more define.

To make matters worse I finally saw the tattoos my mother told me Bella had gotten that morning I went off on her. One tattoo was on the inside of her right wrist. It was the musical notes to the lullaby I wrote her. The other tattoo on her left wrist is a tattoo of a heart with the word "My Savior" on it and my initials directly underneath it. She saw me as her savior and I hurt her so much. How can I even face her now?

I hated myself for what I put her through, but by looking at her now, I couldn't help but to wonder maybe her leaving was the best thing to do, because she's happy now. I sat back while they rest of my family asked her questions regarding the years we missed out. I was astonished to learn that she went back to finish her B.A. in English Literature and had an M.A. in Journalism. She told everyone the only reason why she was working in the restaurant right now was because the owner is a friend and was short-staffed. So being the good friend that she was, she decided to help her out for morning rush.

I notice Tanya was very irritated to be let out in the loop, which was another thing I felt bad about. When I met Tanya, she knew I was in a bad place but I could never bring myself to mention Bella. It wasn't because I was ashamed of her it's just that…hell I can't even give a reason why. Maybe because I knew I had never forgiven myself. I did not miss the fact that everyone kept eyeing me, expecting me to say something. Honestly, I was a coward. I thought the things I wanted and had to say to Bella shouldn't be said out in the open, especially in front of Tanya.

Just as Esme invited her back to their hotel to catch up, I notice a tall blonde approach us with a little boy in his arms, but I could not see the boy clearly. It was in that moment my family fell into a state of shock when the man said, "I heard someone need a pick me upper so I brought two little gifts."

Bella's smile became more pronounced as she turned to this man and the little boy.

"Momma, Auntie Angela called and said you were sad today, so we came to surprise you."

"Aww Baby you know you always make me happy."

She turned her attention to the man kissed him on the cheek and said, ""Ummm Jazz I think you're missing one. You said two gifts. I only see one."

Huh. What did she mean by that? Is this man her husband? For some reason, I felt jealous because I always imagined Bella and I having a child together and here is someone else that had already fulfilled that for her. I guess Bella was always right; I was never meant for her. And even though I'm with Tanya, that thought hurt like hell. What the hell did my jealousy mean? Bella turn her life around, moved on, and kept us out her life while she ran off and started a family. It was all my fault; but at least she happy now.

I was pulled out my thoughts, only to fall into another state of shock when someone else approached with another little child. Bella knelt down to the little girl and hugged her. "Hey princess, thanks for the surprise Angel."

"Mommy, I'm not a princess. I'm a mechanic."

_Shit_, I thought, _not one but two kids._ I wanted to hate this guy for making her happy, but I just couldn't.

My family laughed at what the little girl. I saw Bella's lips move, but I could not hear what she said. All I knew is whatever she said, the guy's eyes went wide and ushered the kids somewhere. Once her kids were out of sight, her friend glared at Emmett and I before asking Bella, "so which one is the asshole who…" Bella elbowed her and gave her a stern look like she was trying to communicate something to her. But all I thought about was that Bella hated me. Even her friends knew I was an asshole. Is that why she did not introduce her children to us? Does she not want us back in her life?

It was like she was reading my mind when she said, "I cannot talk about my personal life here, especially now that my children are here, because I will not subject them to any issues that may arrive what I reveal to you."

My family just nodded. Bella kept her gaze on me, but her expression was regretful. I thought _what does she have to be regretful for?_

Bella introduced her friend to the rest of us. Once her friend heard my name, I swear if looks could kill I would be dead right now. These looks did not go unnoticed by Bella because she turned to her friend and whispered something before her friend walked off.

Bella turned back to us. "You have to excuse Rosalie's behavior. She's extremely protective of me and my children."

And I being the idiot that I am, I blurted out in shock. "Wait…You…You're a mother?" My tone was a bit harsh, but I couldn't help it. Bella bit her bottom lip nervously, all the while keeping her focus on me and nodded. Again, her face expressed regret and now sadness.

**OK WARNING NO HATE MAIL**

*******THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM......*******

**Also like I briefly touched in chapter one the two people I just said is pivotal to Bella's life is Rosalie and Jasper.**

**NOPE THE HALES DID NOT GROW UP IN FORKS AND ONLY KNOW OF THE CULLENS THROUGH BELLA'S STORIES**

****************

**So far I have written up to 8 chapters for this story so far and while essentially it's a love story between Bella/? (yeah i'll keep y'all in suspense lol) that's a far way to come because a lot old wounds shall be open, trust shall be broken, pieces have to be put back together, healing has too happen as well as twists have to be overcome first before the Happily Ever After**

**love ya**

**SaraEMC**


	4. All Cried Out

******Thank You _Laurajaexo for being so awesome and taking her time to Edit this for me._**

**BPOV**

Today started off by me just deciding to help out a friend. She was short of staffed and boy what a day fate chose to come and bite me in the ass. I saw the hurt looks on the Cullens' faces when they saw the life I made for myself throughout the years, even though they tried to hide it; especially Edward.

I had agreed to meet them later tonight after I spent time with my little family. At first, they had insisted they come and spend some time with Jazz, Rose, the kids and I, but I blatantly refused. They were hurt be my refusal, but I assured them I'd let them meet my children, but not until I was able to clear the air with them. I knew arguments would follow once everything was said and done, so I rather my children not be present.

Rose and Jazz decided to give me time to myself by taking the kids. Boy did I need it because right at that moment I was a total fucking wreck. I didn't even bother turning on any lights once I entered my bedroom, I crawled into my bed and let out a gut wrenching sob. I cried for my past, I cried for all the hurt I caused all the ones I love, I cried for lost love, I cried for my children, I cried for all my mistakes, and I cried for forgiveness.

I cannot tell you how long I sat in the dark crying, but the next thing I knew, I was in the comfort of someone's arms. I realized it was Rose once she started trying to soothe me. She saw my questionable expression, so she answered it without me even asking her.

"We knew you would need someone, so I came back to be here for you while Jazz is with the kids at my place."

I just nodded. The tears were still coming and I still could not find my voice. Rose did not speak after that. She just kept rubbing circles in my back while I held onto her tightly. We stayed like that for a while because next thing I knew, I woke up to find myself in a Bella sandwich with both my children on either side of me smiling up at me.

I placed kisses on their foreheads and held them. I knew that no matter what the outcome was later tonight, at I would always have them along with Rose and Jasper. It's in this solace I would gather my strength.

The rest of the day, I tried to put aside all my worries and focus on the people here with me now. I made my kids' favorite sandwiches, PB&J with Fluff, while Rose popped some popcorn. Jazz set up the living room with pillows and blankets for the Disney cartoon and movie marathon that would ensue for the remainder of the evening.

If anyone had walked in on us, they would assume we were just one big, happy, goofy family that sings along with all the Disney songs and in our own strange way, that's exactly what we were. Once Angela arrived to babysit, I kissed my angels goodnight, gathered the pile of pictures I put together for the Cullens, and went to face whatever fate was about to dish me with Jasper and Rose at my side.

**EPOV**

Everyone was quiet once we gotten back to my parents' hotel. I knew this was the calming before the storm. I knew, besides myself, that my mother was probably hurting the most because of everything that happened today. My mother always claimed Bella to be one of her own children, so it hurt her when Bella only claimed to be a family friend. I saw my mom fight back the tears when Bella's family came into the restaurant.

So many years we missed out of her life. If anyone was truly at blame for those missing years, it was me. Not only did I rob myself of those years, but I robbed my mother as well. I really wish I had shut up and listened to Bella back then because just maybe the life she has now would of be ours.

While we were sitting in the living room of my parents' hotel suite, each of us lost within our thoughts. Tanya had decided to break the silence.

"Would someone care to explain why some waitress or old family is bringing out these types of emotions?" Alice and Emmett, never the ones to hold back their dislike for Tanya, shot her a murderous glare and my father, who remained indifferent this entire time, spoke up.

"Tanya I think it would be wise if when Bella comes, you're not here for the things she has to say."

"I will not be left out in the loop with this. I'm as good as family. Edward and I will be married within a few short months and I'm sick of all these secrets. Now I would…" I couldn't let her finish. I knew this would only lead to an argument with my family, who doesn't already approve of our marriage, so I decided it was time to explain things to her.

"Tanya. I understand that you do not want to be left in the dark with things. But it's my fault why you know nothing about Bella or her past. As my father mentioned, I think it would be for the best."

"But…"

"Tanya, please let me finish. After I'm done, you can voice your concerns."

Tanya just nodded while the rest of my family all of a sudden just disappeared out of the living room to give us privacy, even though I knew Alice or Emmett would be in hearing distance.

Tanya, I've never told you a lot of things and it's not because I'm ashamed of any of it, but mainly because some things are just too hard for me to share with anyone. So I truly hope you're not upset once I'm done, I beg you let me finish first."

"I'll try to wait till you tell your tale Edward" was all she said.

"Esme and Carlisle are not my biological parents. However, they've treated me like their own from the very beginning. My biological mother Elizabeth was Esme twin sister and when I was four-years-old, my parents left me with Carlisle and Esme while they went on vacation. While they were on vacation, that's when I first met Bella. She was Esme and Carlisle's next-door neighbors' daughter.

"Bella never liked playing Alice. She was too girly for her liking and she thought Emmett was too rough looking. At first, she was afraid of him. So Bella just use to hang out with me. We would draw and do all those silly little things children our age do. Things took a turn for the worst when my parents' plane crashed on their way back.

"I took news of their death pretty hard and started shutting everyone out. I never let anyone get too close to me during this time, but Bella was a stubborn pigheaded kid and never took no for an answer. She kept pushing herself onto me until I started to let my walls down. She was the only one who gotten through to me and it was in the most unusual way too.

"Bella knew who much I loved music. It was a passion of mine since a very young age and so we would sit at Esme's grand piano whenever I was nearby and purpose play simple songs like "Mary had a little lamb" or "Hot cross buns" wrong on purpose, even though I heard her play them correctly before. At first I used to just ignore her, but it still it irritated the hell out of me that she played it so horribly on purpose. Eventually when I couldn't take it any more. I pushed her out the way and started playing the piano. Esme told me I was a natural at it. It was through playing the piano that I found the strength to deal with my loss.

"When I played, I was able to express my emotions without even speaking. It was then that Esme decided that I should have lessons. It was also during this moment that a true friendship formed between Bella and me. As a thanks for pulling me out, whenever I came home from lessons, I would teach her whatever I just learned. This routine went on for years between us. Her parents could not afford for her to join me at my lessons, nor did they want Carlisle and Esme to pay for her.

"Things in Bella's home were not easy for her as she gotten older. When she was seven years old, she overheard her parents' first argument when they thought she was asleep." I laughed humorlessly. "Imagine what it'll do to someone's Bella's age to hear her own parents blame her existence for their problems. To hear her own mother wish she had an abortion so she did not have to be stuck in the hellhole known as Forks, Washington.

"I learned about this argument because one day when I had finished showing Bella what I learned at my lessons, she turned to Carlisle and out of nowhere and said, 'Carlisle what's an abortion?' We heard glass shatter from the kitchen before Esme rushed out asking Bella where she heard a word like that. Bella nonchalantly said she overheard her mom and dad shouting while she was supposed to be sleeping. When her mommy said she would have had an abortion, her life would have been so much better.

"Both Carlisle and Esme were livid by what Bella said. So they went to the Swans, making sure Bella was not around when they have disagreements. Bella's father, who happened to be Chief of Police, told my parents to mind their business and not to tell them how to raise their child. Bella was not allowed to come over to our house after that and we only got to see each other in school. During school, you would have to be an idiot to not see how sad Bella was becoming daily Whenever Alice, Emmett or I tried to ask her if everything was okay at home, she would put on her best smile and just say peachy, but I came to know her so well that I could tell she was lying.

"At the time, I would just hug her and say no matter what Bella you're always welcome at our house, even if you have to sneak over.

"When Bella was ten, things got worse. I would wake up in the middle of the night to see Bella lying right beside me. But when I woke up in the morning, she was gone. When I would ask her about it in school, she made me promised never to tell anyone because if anyone were to find out, things would only get worse. I believe now, as I look back, it was the moment I failed Bella because I made that promise. I thought I truly was protecting her from getting hurt, especially when she would show up crying and looking so lost.

"Esme pulled me aside one day to confide in me that she knew about Bella sneaking over at night crying. She always said she did not want to alter any trust Bella had with me, but if anything is seriously going on or life threatening, to inform them immediately. But like I would tell Esme, the only thing Bella would say is she couldn't take the arguing anymore. They fought too much and she just needed a friend.

"That became a routine every night. So instead of just rushing off to sleep, I would sit up, waiting for Bella. I would try to calm her before she went to sleep and in the morning, she would climb back into her window before her parents woke up.

"Bella started losing a lot of weight. At first, we all took it as the awkward stage people go through at adolescence. So I just disregarded it until one day Alice came running to find Emmett and I. She told us about the bruises she saw on Bella while they were changing in the locker room. We confronted Bella about it, but of course, she denied the abuse.

"I didn't say anything right away because I wanted to approach her one-on-one first. That night when Bella came into my room, she must have just been beaten because she winced when I tried to hug her. I lifted up the back of her shirt and saw the bruise. I told her I would not stand it anymore and watch her suffer anymore. So she slapped the hell out of me and went off on me. Then she left my room without even staying, so immediately I went to tell my parents what had just occurred.

"The next morning my parents approached hers, but things did not go to well. My parents called Child Services to open a case against them, but they never did anything. Bella must have gotten into some much trouble after that and vowed to never talk to any of us again because she felt we betrayed her trust, especially me. She did not talk to us for a long time, but it never stopped us from attempting to approach her. We wanted her to know that no matter what, we would always be here for her, no matter what.

"It was during this time that she started hanging out with the wrong crowd and slowly rumors started about her ranging from that she had AIDS, she was an alcoholic, she was doing all sorts of drugs, bulimic, and that the boys from the reservation were running trains on her. Bella heard the rumors, but never confirmed or denied them. It was like she didn't even care anymore what people thought about her.

"On day things must have gotten real tough for her because Alice came to interrupt my class telling me there was an emergency and I had to come with her right away. I never imagined the emergency involved Bella crying in the girl's bathroom, but I did not care nor did I ask any questions when I began to comfort her.

I was about to continue the story when someone knocked on the door. I excused myself to go answer the door to find none other than Bella and her friends standing right in front of me.

**I HATE TO END RIGHT THERE BUT I DID NOT WANT TANYA TO KNOW ANYTHING JUST YET..........**

**AGAIN I CAN ASSURE YOU THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY SEEM WITH THIS STORY**


	5. Reunion Pt 1

**BPOV**

I swear my heart skipped a beat as soon as the door flew open revealing Edward standing right there in front of us, making me more nervous about this whole reunion. Breathe Bella, was the mantra I kept repeating through my head.

None of us bothered to speak. Rose and Jasper stood next to me, remaining silent while Edward and I stared into one another's eyes. Without even thinking, I reached out and wrapped my arms around Edward. I did not realize I was holding my breath until I let out a sigh of contentment once Edward wrapped his arm around my waist.

It felt good to be in his arms. I knew once everything was out in the open, no matter how brief the moment was, he would hate me even more; so I just lived in the moment of having my best friend back. Someone cleared their throat and I peeked out Edward's shoulder to see his fiancée not looking too happy about our embrace. It made me wonder Edward must have told her about our history for her to be shooting daggers at me.

I sighed one more time before unwrapping myself from our embrace.

Edward let us in and went to get the rest of his family while we made ourselves comfortable in the living room. While waiting for everyone to return, I saw from the corner of my eye that Edward's fiancée, Tanya, kept eyeing me. It made me extremely uncomfortable to have her here and hear my story. Jasper noticed my uneasiness and asked me if I was sure I wanted to go through with this. But as I thought about what my options were, I realized I'd been running from my past for so long that, that, for the sake of everyone involved, it was time to come clean and mend the old wounds and move on…right?

I squeezed both his and Rose's hands and nodded my head to let them know I was still going to go through with this, no matter what the outcome is.

Once the rest of the Cullens came to join us, Emmett swept me up in a bone-crushing bear hug that took me by surprise. Once I finished hugging the rest of the Cullens, I noticed Edward was not in the room nor was his fiancée, but as soon as I was about to ask, the room became silent due to the arguing happening outside.

"Seriously Edward I do not understand why I cannot stay when her friends get to be here. For crying out loud, I'm your fiancée!"

"Tanya there is still so much you do not know about Bella. I don't even know how open Bella would be with you there."

"Edward you should be trying to accommodate to my needs and feelings, you know the woman you pledge your undying love to, not some former best friend slash junkie."

I couldn't listen to their argument anymore. Tanya's words cut me like a knife, so I just closed my eyes and tuned everything out. I was so mad at myself that I started to wonder why I even came because it was obvious that all I was doing was causing more pain when so many years ago, I vowed to never do that to them. I haven't even had the Cullens back in my life for 24 hours and I'm already breaking that promise to myself.

Out of nervous habit, my leg started shaking and I felt the tears building up behind my closed lids. Not wanting to cry in front of them, I jumped up, startling them in the process, asking where the bathroom was.

Once in the bathroom, I let the tears flow freely. After awhile, I heard a knock on the bathroom door. I didn't have to ask who it was, because I knew it was Rose. She pulled me into a hug and started whispering words of encouragement.

"Bella you're the strongest person I know. You've literally overcome some much in the 5 ½ years. This is just one more obstacle you have to overcome and I know you can do it. This is the most important thing you need to conquer because it affects so many people Bells, but do_ not_ let those words that bimbo spat break you. We all make mistakes Bella, and even though you think they will be mad once you reveal everything, but they won't, because every last one of them looked livid when they heard her say that."

"You know I don't deserve you in my life right? Everything I touch, I ruin."

"Bells do not start with that self-doubt bullshit now. You do not ruin everything you touch. Just think about Ashley and AJ, those two angels of yours. They are lucky and blessed to have a mother like you, especially after everything you've been through.

"But…"

"No buts Bella. I mean it, you're strong and you can do this no matter what. Jasper and I were sticking by you till the end. You're family Bells and that's what family does. I want you to know if things get too much for you all you have to do is say the word and we're out of here."

"Thanks for the pep talk Rose. I don't know what I would do without you guys in my life."

"I love ya babes."

"Love ya too Rosie."

Rose and I came out to join the others once I had my emotions under control.

Once I sat down, Jasper whispered, "are you okay?" I just nodded my head and put on a reassuring smile.

An awkward silence fell upon everyone in the living room and I felt like it was because no one knew how to proceed. I mean seriously, what does one say in situations like that?

To break the ice, I just asked the first thing that came to mind.

"So you guys live in Chicago now?"

Even though it was a simple question, it was actually one of the most important ones.

Carlisle was the first to speak up. "Actually Bella, we're just here visiting Edward."

I nodded and turned to Edward who was staring at me with some emotions I could not place.

"So how long have you lived here Edward?"

For some reason, Edward looked shocked that I actually directed a question to him, but he composed himself fairly quickly before answering.

"I've been here for about 4 years now."

_Four years wow_, I thought. _He's been in Chicago for four years and I've never once bump into him? Fate really has a cruel sense of humor_.

"How long have you been in Chicago?" Edward asked me.

I took a deep breath because there was no turning back now after this.

"I've been in Chicago since I left Forks. Remember after I dropped out of college to travel?"

I looked up to see them all nod their heads

"Well during this time, I had stayed in Chicago for about 6 months. That was when I met Jasper and Rosalie. The way I met Rosalie was actually under misfortunate circumstances, which I'd rather not get into because it's not really my story to tell. But it was through those circumstances a bond was formed into an amazing friendship between Rose and me. I had met Jasper briefly, as I informed you all earlier. He's Rosalie twin brother. However, Jasper was busy with college and work when I was first in Chicago, so I would only see him through passing. So Jasper and I did not really get to know each other that well until after I moved here permanently. Once I left Chicago I kept in touch with Rosalie constantly through emails and phone calls so when I called her asking for a place to stay she welcomed me with open arms."

Everyone remained silent looking deep within their own thoughts. I welcomed the silence because I was glad the conversation did not end up on what would cause the drama with this reunion.

Edward broke the silence

"Bella about that day I tried to apologize after you left. Esme informed me about everything you were doing and going through to change. I'm so sorry I forced you away from the only place you knew as home and the people you called family. I'm terribly sorry that I jumped to conclusions about you cutting yourself. However I cannot deny how happy and healthy you look right now with the family and life you've established for yourself here. I just hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me one day."

His apology caused the tears I did not want to show to come out. It should be me asking for his forgiveness, not the other way around. Yes, I'm so much happier and healthier now, but does he not realize he was the reason behind all these changes?

"Edward, there is nothing to forgive. I think it should be me asking your forgiveness. Even though the things that were said caused me to leave that night, you spoke nothing but the truth. You may not have known this, but I realized it well before that night. That's why I had distance myself from you after that night so I could get some clarity. I know you thought I returned to James after that night, but I went back home to Esme and Carlisle. I spent that time clearing this crazy head of mine because I came to realize a lot of things that frightened me, but made me happy at the same time. I know that had I come out and told you these things at first, things might have happened differently. But I had to make sure I wanted these changes for me. I always believed you were the one constant in my life which I feel is why I took you for granted."

I crossed the distance and sat next to Edward, pulling him into a hug like he was my life support. I didn't care what anyone in the room thought, because this was what I needed at the moment.

"I missed this Bella," he whispered in my ear.

"I've miss this too Eddie."

Emmett, being Emmett, interrupted our moment by saying, "Better not let Tanya hear you call him Eddie. Edward here throws a fit whenever she or anyone else calls him that if their name is not Bella."

I had to laugh at that because apparently some things will never change. Ever since we were 5 years-old, I was the only one allowed to call him Eddie, just like he was the only one I allowed to call me Belly or Isabella.

The conversation flowed freely between all of us after that moment between Edward and me well up until Esme started asking about my children.

"So tell us about those darling children you and Jasper share."

I froze once Esme had finished what she was saying. This was the subject I knew I couldn't avoid. I squeezed Jasper's hand before I spoke.

"Um, Jasper is not my children's' father."

Okay sorry if this chapters type short and for that cliffy there but as I said things are not as they seem


	6. Reunion Pt 2

**BPOV**

I saw the look of confusion on their faces, so I spoke up before anyone could question what I just said.

"I understand; trust me you guys, this is not the first time I've gotten this reaction. A lot of people have assumed that Jasper is the father of my children because he's the only guy that's ever seen with them, but he isn't."

They all nodded their head in understanding, but I could see the question that was burning in their eyes, more so in Edward's; that was the one question I knew I could no longer avoid.

"So the father is not in the children's' lives?"

As Esme was asking me her question, I was in the middle of an internal dialogue with myself. It was as if I had an angel and a devil on my shoulders, telling me what to do.

Part of me wanted nothing more than to tell them my most guarded secrets that I've held dear since my little ones were conceived. But the other side wanted nothing more than to just lie my way out of this and run far away from them.

Running is exactly what I've been doing for the last 5 years and I cannot run anymore.

God, why did I have to screw up everything? No matter what I do, I'm always hurting someone and now my secret is going to hurt the three most important people in my life.

Someone nudging me pulled me out of my thoughts. I saw that the Cullens were looking at me expectantly and yet instead of coming out with it right away, I attempted to prolong the inevitable by answering lamely

"It's a bit complicated," I mumbled.

I knew my answer would not be good enough for them, but in my screwed up ways of thinking, I felt it would only lessen the hurt once they learned everything.

Alice's words had me reeling in anger. "Why is it complicated? Do you not know who the father is?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, it was as if someone had just slapped me across the face. I couldn't help the scowl that crossed my features. How dare she? Does she really think that low of me?

I could not help the malice that was in my voice. "Of course I know who the father of my children is Alice; do you really think that little of me?"

"I'm sorry Bella, I did not mean to imply anything, it's just when you said it's complicated, that was the first thing that came to mind."

I just nodded because I needed a moment to collect myself after that verbal slapping. It made me wonder what they would think once they learned everything. Sensing my distress, Edward jumped in to sway the subject away from "who's the daddy?" I swear that sometimes he knows me more about me than I know myself and that thought frightened the living daylights out of me.

"So Bella, what are your children's names? Or better yet, why don't you tell us about them?"

I turned towards him and smiled as I spoke.

"Well I guess I'll start at the beginning. Their names are Ashley and AJ. They're twins and believe it or not, their birthday is on Halloween, which just happens to be their favorite holiday, go figure. Ashley and AJ complement each other deeply and are extremely protective over each other and myself, of course.

"They are both so much like me in their own little ways. However, I truly believe that they are blessed not to have gotten my clumsy gene.

"Ashley is my little artist when it comes to anything pertaining to arts & crafts. Also, now because of Rosalie, she apparently is into cars as well. One day, Ashley came how in her little jumpsuit after spending the day with Rose with her little bandanna looking like she just came from under a hood of a car; it was the most adorable sight ever.

"AJ, he too is extremely creative too. He makes up stories out of things that go on around him on a daily bases and just recently I signed him up for piano lessons, which he absolutely adores. I told him a story about how I was taught how to play the piano and whenever he or his sister has a play date he tries to teaches them how to play as well.

"I actually have a lot of home videos on a disc of pretty much every moment of their lives, not to mention the many scrapbooks and photo albums too that I'll leave with you guys, because, seriously, I could sit here for days telling you stories about them.

"How these videos, albums and scrapbooks bring me back to an earlier subject that I want you guys to understand.

"The reason I have these things of my children are not just for keepsake, for me or them when they get older, but for their father as well. Even though he is not in their lives now, I do hope one day when everything is said and done, he'll be in their lives. I also want all of you to understand that the father is truly a really, decent person and the situation just happen to be extremely complicated between us and not a day goes by that I do not blame myself for him not being in their lives.

"I hate the fact that due to my mistakes, my children missed out on knowing him, but I hope in time we'll be able to work that out once he finds out."

I was about to continue when Edward cut me off asking me a question that sucked the air out of me. It was in this one question that the answer hurt everyone, especially Edward.

**EPOV**

"Bella, how old are your children?'

Her voice was so timid when she answered. "They're going on 5 years old."

Everyone looked at Bella with confused expressions, but no one said anything. Esme had a look of understanding while the others remained shocked

"So you were pregnant when you left?"

All she did was just nod.

At first, I kept my cool, but Bella saying she was pregnant before she left infuriated me for so many reasons that I couldn't even think straight.

"You children father is JAMES?"I sneered.

She didn't even speak nor could I even look at her because this truly felt like the ultimate betrayal after everything that happened before I made an idiot out of myself. And she still defends him when she said earlier the father was really a decent guy.

I stood up and started shout when she still did not answer. "For crying out loud Bella, you slept with him after everything that he put you through? After everything that happen that night? HOW COULD YOU?"

I looked at her finally. She was shaking with fear and through her tears, I saw fear, regret, and hopelessness. This was too much for me to deal with so I just started head to the door.

I heard when Bella finally spoke and said, "wait" but I was too disgusted to even listen to what she had to say. I was so wrapped up in my anger and thoughts. I almost did not hear what she shouted as my hand turned the doorknob and froze after she proclaimed three little words.

**A/N**

Ok First off I repeat again ******* ****"NOTHING IS AS THEY SEEM"***********

**Just do not jump on the hating wagon yet because you ASSUME certain things I assure it'll be cleared up in the next chapter.**

**With things being cleared up on ****"who's The Daddy"**** Front (God that sounds like an episode of Maury or something) the drama will start coming in and hitting someone pretty hard.**

**Lines will be drawn and people shall choose sides**


	7. Who's the Daddy? MATURE CONTENT

**BPOV**

I sat their trying to find my voice as he shouting at me. I could say anything because I knew in that moment, my worst fears were coming true and I was going to lose him and possibly others that I hold dear to my heart. In that moment, I felt completely hopeless and remorseful for my actions and wish I could turn back the hands of time to make this right.

When he called out James' name with such acid, I recoiled and began thinking about the night that changed everything…

**FLASHBACK**

I was already beyond the point of exhaustion and stressed out when I came home and wanted nothing more than to relax in my tub and let my worries melt away. James would be at work until late so I did not have to worry about him disturbing me with whatever ludicrous issues he'd come up with today.

However, when I opened my front door, peace and quiet was definitely not what heard. I walked into very vocal sounds of moaning coming from my bedroom. I should have just backed out the door and left right then when I heard the moaning, but no, I had to go investigate that shit. The bastard did not even have the decency to even close the bedroom door. It was wide open and there he was, just fucking my slut of a neighbor, Lauren, doggie style on our bed.

I do not know how long I stood there shock, but Lauren saw me standing there and the bitch had the audacity to look extremely smug. James eventually became aware of my presences and the fucker told me "if I'm going to stand there I better at least be getting pointers" while he continued to fuck her like there was nothing wrong with this situation. To say I was disgusted would be a goddamn understatement. I ended up running to the bathroom puking my guts out.

While having my head hang over the toilet, I flinched at the sudden memories of my mother calling me a worthless whore and how I would never be good enough for any man to love me. The pain that was associated with the memories that started to crawl back up to the surface. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

These memories made me feel disgusted with myself and full of rage that I stormed back into the bedroom and started shouting and throwing whatever objects that was nearby at them.

"GET OUT YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT!"

They both snickered at me and Lauren dismounted James saying, "Coming baby lets finish this at my apartment. She's killing my fucking high."

James just followed suit with her but not before telling me to have his dinner ready once he finished handling his business. I'd be damned if I stand over any stove to cook that prick anything because I knew I'd be so tempted to poison his ass, so I did the only thing I was good at doing. I ran.

It was pouring down rain and I ran into the first bar I came across. I ordered a shot of Tequila and told the bartender to keep them coming. I didn't know how many shots I had by the time I started hearing music in the background that spoke to me in so many ways. It was like this song describing the things my subconscious already knew or hell maybe it's just the liquor fucking talking, but for some reason

"It took a long long road to see,

What matters most in life to me was gone was gone

But I thought what I was looking for was right here waiting at your door"

As soon as I heard those words, I bolted straight out of there, running in the downpour to the one place I needed to be. It was about 1am, but I did not care. I had to get there, so I just ran. Once I got there, I banged on the door until someone answered.

I fell at the door with my knees to my chest and my arms wrapped around them crying. I did not even realize that someone answered until I felt someone picking me up, carrying me inside and all I could do was hang onto the person, crying. I didn't even realize that they had taken off all my wet clothes until I felt my body submerge into hot water. They used a washcloth to wipe away my tears.

Once the tears had stopped, the person asked me if I was okay to finish washing myself while they went to make some tea for me. But I couldn't find my voice yet, so I just nodded. I had notice a razor on one of the counters in the bathroom and went to reach for it. With it in my hand, I debated all the ways I could just end my life right here and now by either slicing my wrist or my jugular.

I wanted to end all the suffering and free myself from everything, but the words to that song kept playing in my mind and I thought about the people I would hurt if I were to end my life. I also thought back to a time when I almost succeeded in taking my own life and Edward's words rung loud and clear through my mind. "Bella I cannot live in a world without you. Please, get help, please. I cannot lose you in my life- I want you to feel whole again. Please Bella, get help."

I put the razor back and realized I couldn't put Edward through that kind of pain again and I especially didn't want the person to come back to find me dead in their tub. That though brought on more tears; I such a horrible fucking person.

Once the tears settle again, I got out of the tub and grabbed the person's robe, not even bothering to go downstairs for the tea. I crawled into the bed and wrapped arms around myself tightly, trying to push away these numbing memories and dark thoughts.

The person crawl into bed with me and pulled me into their chest, rubbing circles on my back while telling me that "everything is going to be okay eventually and that they'll always be here for me." The words to that song from the bar was back in my mind as they were soothing me and I just lifted me head as the person kept saying soothing words to me and saw nothing but sincerity and hope in their eyes.

Without even thinking, I brought my lips to his. At first, he was unresponsive, but after a couple of seconds, he started kissing me back with so much passion. The kiss was so soft and tender and filled with so much love; it felt so right.

My hands started running down his chest and it was like something click in his mind during this because he stopped kissing me and held my wrist.

"Bella this is not right you're in so much pain we cannot go any further."

But I shook my head stubbornly as I straddled his waist and looked him in the eyes, telling him, "I need you please do not deny me"

He opened his mouth to speak, but instead I leaned down and captured his bottom lip and suck on it before continuing to kiss him. We both needed air eventually, but my lips never broke contact with his skin as I went along to kiss him on his jawline, working my way to his neck.

He continued to protest through. "Bella why don't we sleep on it and if you still feel this way in the morning, we can continue this."

I moved to his ear and felt him shiver as I whispered, "I do not want to wait. This between us is right and I am sick of denying myself what's right in my life. This thing between you and me makes sense and I need you. God you do not know how bad I need you. Please do not deny me this one thing. You make me feel so whole, please."

He pulled me up so that I was facing him and I was ready for the rejection as the tears started to build up but the rejection never came. Instead, he began kissing me again while pulling on the ties to the robe to undo it.

I helped him take off the robe and he began to trail down my neck with kisses and proceeded to massage my breast. I arched my back while he did this and began massage his erection through his boxers. He took one of my nipples into his mouth and nipped gently with his teeth.

I was in heaven as he kept massaging my breast and nipping at my nipples, but I want more and I wanted to taste him, so I pushed him back down unto the bed.

I started to make my way down his chest, varying between kissing, pinching, or licking, until I reached his boxers where I placed a kiss on his erection and felt it twitch underneath the fabric.

He lifted up to help me take them off. Once his boxers were off, I kept kissing him near his erection but never touching it until I heard the sweetest sounds to my ears which was him pleading with me "Bella please I…"

But I did not let him finish pleading as I grasped his erection with my hand and flicked my tongue on the tip of it, tasting the precum, while massaging his sack with my other hand. His moans were like ecstasy, I could feel myself starting to seep down my leg. I started sucking on his cock like it was my favorite treat in the entire world.

He reached out for my hair while I was sucking on his dick and began grunting incoherently whenever I flicked my tongue.

"Oh God Bella…FUCK!"

It was such a fucking turn-on that I moaned onto his dick while it was still in my mouth. He bucked his hips up off the bed. I knew it would not be long until I had my reward.

I felt his warm release hit the back on my throat and I kept on sucking him even after he finished cumming.

He flipped me over on my back and worked his way down to my core where I was already wet and waiting for his touch when he brought my clit into his mouth. I cried out.

"Oh god yes, sweet Jesus please don't stop."

He darted two of his fingers inside of me and my eyes began to roll into the back of my head.

He had me squirming and whimpering with his every touch. I began pushing down on him as he finger and tongue fucked me

With every "Oh God's", "Fuck", "Please don't stop" or "Ohhhhhhhhh's" he rammed his fingers into me fast and hard while adding so much pressure onto my already swollen clit.

Just as I felt myself constricting around his fingers I cried out "OH GOD I'M ALL YOURS FOREVER!"

He pulled out and rammed his dick into me and I cried out "FUCCCCCCCCKKKK"

He stopped due to my screams and the restriction he felt once he did that and I saw the worry and concern looks he gave me.

"Bella you're a…"

"You've never…"

Even though he couldn't get it out, I answered the question I knew he was trying to ask, "Yes I've never had sex before. I'm still a virgin."

"Bella I'm sorry but we can't…"

But I did not let him finish. I knew he would want to pull out, so I wrapped my legs tightly around him.

I held his face in my hands while looked deep into his eyes.

"Do not fight this. This is right and I couldn't think of a better person to lose something some precious to. I want you to be my first."

I didn't even think he realized it, but he began crying after my declaration. Hell, we both were crying but they were not tears of sadness or sorrow, but they were tears of joy.

It was in that moment I realized that every lyric to that song from earlier was true and I felt within my soul that his tears were because I gave him the one thing no else could ever claim.

We both wiped away each other's tears as he promised to be gentle while kissing me with so much burning desire and passion. At that moment, we were no longer two people attempting to fuck each other. Instead, we were two people making love to one another.

He kept his movements gentle, waiting for me to give him the cues on when to go faster or harder. Somewhere during this, I just gave him everything, cried out for him to go harder and met him with every thrust as I came again.

Right after cumming, I still kept up with his every thrust. When he started slamming into me hard and fast, I knew he was not far off. Just as I felt my walls constricting against his dick again, I thrust upwards while arching my back. He held onto my hips, keeping them in place and slammed into me hard as he screamed out my name, spilling himself into me, which pushed me further over the edge again.

He did not pull out of me as he collapsed onto of me while making sure his complete weight was not on me. I clung onto him breathlessly and for the first time in my life, I truly felt complete and whole in every sense of the word. I knew this is where I wanted to be, which is where I was supposed to have been all this time.

When he pulled out of me and rolled over, I felt like a part of me was missing, but he immediately pulled me into him kissing my forehead and whispered, "You do not know how much I appreciate everything you have just given me. I do not expect you to say anything but I want you to know that I love you and you were my first as well."

I was still breathless while I looked into his eyes and I knew I could not say the words because I knew I still had shit to work out in my life, so I just nodded my head as I kissed his lips.

**END FLASHBACK**

I was pulled out of the memory of Edward jumping up and shouting at me "For crying out loud Bella, you slept with him after everything that he put you through? After everything that happen that night? HOW COULD YOU?"

His tone held so much betrayal, but when I tried to open my mouth to speak, nothing came out. When he finally looked me in the eyes, I saw so much hurt, misery, and tears he was fighting to hold in.

He just stormed off towards the door to leave, but I couldn't let him.

"Edward, wait!" But he kept on walking. I cried out "WAIT!" But he still kept ignoring my pleads.

I refused to let my pleads go unanswered like I did five years ago and so I stood up and shouted three words I hope would stop him in his tracks even if he hated me more afterwards

"DAMMIT THEY'RE YOURS!"

He stopped in his tracks as I heard everyone, but Rosalie and Jasper, gasp as I came crashing down, falling and crying on the floor.

**Well my darlings I hope you all are pleased with her confession**

**And I hope that the lemon was not badly written**

**Now that the Bella's most guarded secret is out the DRAMA is about to unfold and let all the anguish is about to begin**

**Guess whose POV is next...**


	8. Calming Before The Storm

**My apologize for the grammar errors I will fix them as soon as I can**

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**EPOV**

"_**DAMMIT THEIR YOURS"**_

Her words froze me at the door no I could not of possible heard what I that I heard right?

"Come Again?"

I turned around and saw Bella crumble on the floor crying and in-between her cries I heard her say _"Edward you're the father of my children."_

I was stun speechless as well were the rest of my family. So many thoughts were running through my mind -- _I'm a father and not of just one child but two; was this what she was so desperately trying to tell me the day I kicked her out; Oh My god I'm a fucking idiot… But no she kept my children from me for almost 5 years._

I just kept running my hands through my hair too many emotions were running through me and I didn't know which ones I should possible express and right about now anger seem to be the dominate emotion but I do not know whom I should direct the anger to her or myself.

I watch her friends console her as I remained by the door still looking at her in shock because seriously I did not know how to respond.

"_Wait….um…How…um is this possible?"_ Alice stuttered out

Emmett being Emmett responded before anyone _"Al you know when two people….."_ but I cut him off "_Emmett now is not the time for any jokes"_ I said rather harshly.

"_Can everyone leave the room? I think Bella and I have things to discuss privately"_

But no one made any intention's to move and the little patients that I did I have I was losing them. _"Edward I do not think that's a good idea right now maybe we should try to deal with this as a family then you and Bella could deal with this more privately once your emotions and temper is not running so high"_ Esme spoke up trying to soothe me with her words and I just knew she was right but I did not want to deal with everyone asking pointless questions or making idiotic jokes until I got to the bottom of this.

"_I appreciate your concern but I would really like for everyone to leave the room now this is between Bella and me"_

My family got up cautiously looking between Bella and me communicating with their eyes for me not to lose it. As I waited I saw Bella's friend help lift her up off the floor and whispered something to her which caused her to look me in the eye before nodding to her friends.

Once everyone left the room we just stood there staring at one another like we were both waiting for the other to speak first. Bella sighed loudly and finally spoke up _"Edward I'm truly sorry"_

"_Sorry Bella, sorry exactly for what keeping the fact that I'm a father and denying my chance to get to know my children for over the last five years. GOD HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING SELFISH"_

She flinched at my words and opened her mouth to speak but closed it. I started walking back towards the living room and saw Bella take a few cautious steps back. I sat on the opposite couch and put my face in-between my hands and whispered loud enough for her to hear _"Why?"_

"_I……I…… deserve your anger and hostility but you have to know I did try to tell you that night but you honestly would not hear me out and I'm not be any means trying to turn this on you or place any blame on you Edward but that night your words cut me deep; which cause me to do at that time the only thing I was good at doing was to run. During the course of the pregnancy I'd tried to find the courage to reach out and contact you but every time I picked up the phone I couldn't do it. Also every day I would write a letter that always sealed promising myself to mail it off to you explaining everything and every day my resolve will faltered and in my mind I thought you deserved more than a letter say hey guess what Edward your gonna be a daddy."_

I just sat there letting her words sink in and seriously I still could not make since of anything because I knew I was partially to blame for my actions that night but she had nearly five fucking years to come clean with everything. I mean seriously if we hadn't bump into her today would I have ever learned I was a goddamn father? Hell do they even know about me.

"_Edward say something please your silence is killing me because I can deal with the shouting and anger but when you become silent I know that means your thoughts are miles away so please speak to me I will not hold nothing back from you and I'll be completely honest with you."_

She had sat next to me and reached out to touch my hand but I moved out of her reach and turned in the chair to face her which caused her to let out a resign sigh.

"_You said you let no men into their life and that people assumed Jasper is their father do they believe that too?"_

She looked at me shaking her head _"No Edward I do not let any men in their life because my logic was I did not want any man to ever replace or assume the role that is rightfully yours. As far as Jasper goes the kids call him Uncle Jasper and they never once thought of Jasper as their father. I have pictures of you hanging up in their room and I talk about you frequently to them. Ashley even has your grandmother's locket you given me."_

Her words touched me deeply but I was still unsure about this whole situation because this is definitely a first and I didn't know how to respond nor act to this.

"What are you thinking Edward? You look lost in your thoughts again and right now your calmness is scaring me"

"I'm thinking and feeling so many things people like had we not bumped into you would I've every learned I was a father?"

She didn't even respond her silence said it all_ "I guess I have your answer then right Isabella? You would of went on as if nothing was wrong with this when would I had met them? When they come knocking on my door when their 18? Geez you came from a broken home wouldn't had wanted things differently with you children having two parents who would love them in their life" _I knew it was a low blow added her parents and broken home to this but she has to see the errors in her ways. Her tears started up again and I immediately regretted them because I knew the torture she went through feeling unloved but seriously what if these kids grew up to recent me because of her actions.

"_I do not know how to answer that question Edward but like I said earlier I documented everything for you and I just did not have enough courage Edward. I'm not that strong when it comes to you especially when I know I've hurt you so much in the past and still am. You're definitely the last person on this earth I ever want to hurt you have to believe me when I say this. That night when I came to you in the pouring rain I never actually told you what happen but the meaningless part of that night was James cheated on me with the next door neighbor. Back then I thought that was why I was hurting so much but it took me going to a bar and hearing a song come on that caused me to run to you home in the down pour not caring about anything. When you let me in and settle me in the back tub and left to make me some tea I saw a razor in the bath and thought about ending my worthless existence."_

"_Bella I…."_ She shook her head at me _"No Edward Please let me finish I've kept this in for so many years so now that the truth is out I want this out in the open as well."_

I just nodded my head for her to proceed because I truly wanted to know what brought on those actions that night nor did I know she thought of killing herself in my bathroom.

"_I had the razor in my hand toying with the idea about ending my life because I felt empty, incompletely, unwanted, broken and unloved but the words of that song kept playing though my mind and I also realized I could do that to you. You deserved more to come and find me dead in your bathroom which made me feel ever worst that I ever considered doing something like that to you because I remember your words from when I nearly did take me life. You told __'Bella I cannot live in a world without please get help, please, I cannot lose you in my life- I want you to feel whole again please Bella get help.' And Edward that brought on a whole new round of tears and when you were comforting me in bed I felt everything I was looking and just wanted to feel loved and complete which were the things you made me feel._

_When you told you'll be there for me no matter what I just looked into your eyes and finally saw all the love and compassion you had for me so that's why I began kissing you. It was never my intention at first to have sex with you that night but those words to that song kept ringing through my mind and everything at that moment in my life felt so right so I just went with it. When you started to reject me I felt so hurt but I still so the love you had for me in your eyes and I pleaded with you on how much I truly did want and need you in every way possible. I meant what I said that night that I was sick of denying what felt right in my life._

_It was like I had some sort of epiphany that night and everything I said I meant it and once you found out I was still a virgin and when I told you I don't fight it and how I wanted you to be my first (_and only I thought to myself.) _When I saw you crying I just knew in that moment that everything happen between us was meant to be. Edward I do not know about you but I will not regret that night and not just because that was the night our children were conceive but because that night I realized how much of an idiot I was. I also realized that night how I need to change my life for the better. _

_I know you believe I went back to James but I never did I went home to Carlisle and Esme and I told them not to let anyone know I was here mainly you because I had to be sure I was doing all these changes for me. Hell I swear to this day that had I not told them not to tell anyone I was back home with them that we probably would not be sitting here right not with all this anger and animosity between us._

_I know you may hate me right now but you have to know my actions were not to hurt Edward I…..God I don't know anymore but I hope one day you can forgive…….._

She trailed off and I knew there was a lot of things that was unsaid within her last words and seriously all of this was a lot to process

"Bella right at this moment I need time to process all of this information and I could never hate you Bella however I do feel betrayed by your actions. Can I meet them?"

She looked up at me and even though it was a weak smile I knew me wanting to meet them pleased her. _"Of course you can meet them, I would say you could come over tonight their camping in the living room of my house having a Disney-marathon with Angela but I'm sure they're asleep by now. If you're not busy tomorrow morning you can come over and spend the day with them if you like."_

"_I would really like that" _I told her and gave her a welcoming smile as well hell it was the first time I smiled all night.

"_Umm Edward" _

"_Yes Bella?"_

"_I know I have no right to ask or even make any requests to you however I do have one request for you in regards to tomorrow"_

She seemed so cautious and guarded that made me feel a bit unease _"What's your request Bella?"_

"_Well you know how I said I did not allow any men in my children life and the reasons why?"_I just nodded me head again trying to figure out where she was going with this.

"For now could you not bring you fiancée around them because I know she dislikes me for having to leave earlier so I do want to subject Ashley and AJ around her just yet plus I do not think she'll be too keen on the idea that as she called me earlier your former junkie best friend being the mother of your children.."

Fuck Tanya I forgotten all about her during this whole confrontation

**BPOV**

I could tell by his speechlessness that for a moment he did not factor his fiancée into the equation of all this and I knew he want need time to figure everything out. However I could not shake the nagging sensation that this was the calming before the storm because he took all of this too cool. If he is still the same Edward I remember from growing up his silence means more that what meets the eye because a silence and too calm Edward in situations where he should be enraged is never good.

Ten minutes past and he was still in silence so I pulled out the folders from my bag and handed it to him.

He looked at my outreached hand and asked _"What are those?"_

"_Everything in these folders is yours its every document, photos, burn DVDs of the lives of our children" _God it felt so right to say those words _our children _I mused I could not help but to smile at that because no matter what may come of everything that happen today no one could deny or take that from me because we created them.

He just nodded his head and took the folders still not saying anything and the sirens were going off in my head telling me _"NOT GOOD TOO CALM AND QUIET"_

"_Oh you'll also find in there the seal letters I told you about and I know you said this is a lot to take in and I know you have a lot on your mind so I'll leave now to let you process everything. My cell number is written on the top on the first folder and you can give me a call when you ready."_

All he did was just nod his head again definitely not good.

I went to gather Jasper and Rosalie and as we were heading out I heard Edward call out my name so I turned around to meet his gaze _"What was the name of the song?"_

I couldn't help the wide smile that came across my face

"_It's called I Was Already Home" _

And as I left the hotel suite I could not help but to think that just maybe everything would work out alright even though the nagging voice in my head told me otherwise.

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**A/N**

**Yes that nagging voice in Bella's head is RIGHT and this is totally the CALMING BEFORE THE STORM.**

**I was going to go all ANGER with Edward on this Chapter but I thought a silence Edward is a calculating Edward.**

**I'm warning you now THIS AND THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE CALMING AND CHAPTER 10 WILL BE THE STORM WHICH THE ACTIONS I END UP PLOTTING MIGHT HAVE YOU HATING ME A BIT.**

*****But no matter what I promise you'll love it though like I said before lots of things have to happen first before all is well in Bella and Edward Land*****

**LOVE YA**

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	9. Calming Before The Storm Pt 2

**PLEASE EXCUSE TYPOS AND ERROR WILL EDIT SOON**

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**EPOV**

I remained quiet most of the time and it wasn't until she gotten up to leave that I had to know _"What was the name of the song?" _Yeah pathetic huh I just find out I'm a father but for some reason listening to her tell the missing part of that night that I never understood, I had to know what was the driving force behind everything that happen. Seriously could a song really have such driving force between happen us back them.

She turned around and for the first time this evening she had the biggest smile on her face ever before she answered _"It's called I Was Already Home." _

I just nodded my head and she left.

My family came to sit in the living room and all of them just remained quiet. Alice went to reach for the folders that Bella had left and I grabbed them up before she even had a chance to touch them. She looked up at me pouting but now was not the time for this _"Alice any other time that pout of yours might work but the stuff in here I want to be the first one to look these over so can for once no meddling and give me some privacy." _

I did not mean for my tone to be harsh nor call her out on her meddling but I was still mad and I knew a small part of me still blamed her for the day I went off on Bella. Hell now even more that day pangs me to know she came there to tell me I was going to be a father fuck I need to be alone I cannot deal with anyone, so I just got up with the folders and just left my parents hotel suite.

When I gotten into my car I just tossed everything in the passenger seat and just sat there with my hands on the steering wheel and just started crying. I hadn't cried like this since the day I found out that I missed interrupt Bella's actions that day and it was like everything she told me was stabbing me so hard in my heart.

I'm a goddamn father……

Fuck how I'm I going to explain this to Tanya and how should I handle all of this?

I reached over and grabbed the first folder just staring at it before I opened it up and poured the contents out.

The first thing I notice were the envelopes which I assumed were the letters she had mention and two scrapbooks label _'Pregnancy Memoirs.' _

I looked at the letters debated whether or not I should open them after all now I knew what they would say now so what was the point.

So I grabbed one of the scrapbooks and started flipping through it.

The very first page was a picture of nothing but Bella's barely there belly and under the picture was Bella's barely legible handwriting stating _"Baby bump just starting to show"_ and I just started rubbing a finger across the picture.

The next page was the first sonogram and below it was a pouch with a CD in it. The notes for this page cause a warm feeling to flow through me _"My first sonogram and Heartbeat which I might add I nearly had a heart attack when I heard two heartbeat beats. Twins can you believe that twins oh how I wish you were here for this."_

I took the CD out of the pouch and turned on my car and place it in the CD player and closed my eyes as the most beautiful noise in the world filled my ears. Hearing their heartbeats were more soothing than listening to my favorite symphony and I just kept it playing as I continued looking through the scrapbook. I truly had the deepest admiration that Bella put these together she truly did document every moment, Hell when she said she documented everything I expected once the children were born but to see the things she documented during her pregnancy warmed my heart even though in the back of my mind for right now the bitterness was still there.

When I got to a picture were it was label 6 ½ months pregnant, I just could not help but to stare at it. In the picture Bella was glowing, looked so healthy and even though she was smiling I could still see the sadness in her eye. This made my flip back through to the other pictures of Bella and I saw that even though she was smiling and appeared to be happy her sadness ran deep within her eyes.

It was like her eyes were calling out to me and pleading with me with some hidden message that I just couldn't understand.

I put the book down and grabbed the folder and began entering Bella's number into my phone.

I only meant to enter but something propelled my to call her and a part of me knew somewhere deep down inside knew the reason why but I kept those reasons at bay

"_Hello"_

I truly must had been so deep in my thoughts that I didn't even realize she picked up

"_Hello"_ she said again

"_Bella its Edward"_ which was followed by a moment of awkward silence

"_Oh um hey Edward I um wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon"_

"_Yeah I wanted to know if I could come over tomorrow morning to meet them if it's alright with you?"_

"_Edward you never have to ask you can see Ashley and Anthony anytime you want they're yours after all"_

"_Anthony? But I thought his name was AJ?"_

"_Well I sure you haven't had a chance to go through the things in the folder yet but I wanted to name him after you however I remember you were already a junior so I just switch the name around. All though you first name may not be Anthony in my heart he'll always be a junior so that's why I call him AJ. I should also tell you that I was going to name Ashley after your mother as well but the name Ashley grew on me so I just used Elizabeth as her middle name."_

Wow I truly did not know what to say because I was touch deeply by this revelation.

"_Um Edward are you still there?"_

"_Oh sorry about"_

"_How about I text you directions to my place and I'll see you tomorrow morning or whenever you plan on coming"_

"_Sure that sounds fine. Goodnight Bella"_

"_Goodnight Edward"_

I put everything back into the folder and decided to drive home…

When I pulled into my driveway I was not surprise when I saw Tanya's car in my driveway but I was at least hoping I could deal with this on my own at least for a little bit.

I put the folders in the trunk because I know how Tanya gets when she upset and I figure it's no time like the present to put everything out in the open.

Tanya greeting me at the door with a loving embrace and kisses but I pulled away tell her we need to talk.

I truly did not know how I was going to explain this because shit I still truly did not comprehend everything fully yet so I just blurted it all out.

"_Tanya over 4 ½ years ago I slept with Bella and I just found out today that I'm the father of Bella's children"_

Tanya just sat there motionless and expressionless for awhile before she finally spoke up stating

"_She's lying" _

"_Tanya Bella would never lie about something as serious as this"_

"_Really Come Edward she's a junkie who probably doesn't even know who the father is so she comes up with the idea to blame you I would not even be surprise if she found out she was pregnant and purposely slept with you."_

"_Tanya that's a pretty low blow and I can assure that it's not even true because Bella was a virgin when we slept together."_

"_That means nothing should could of slept with any number of people after you so you're just going to talk her word without any sort of proof geez Edward I know she was your friend or whatever but I would not but it past her to do something like that seriously Edward once a junkie always a junkie."_

"_Tanya that's enough I did not share Bella's past with you for you to throw it in my face or for you to use it against her but Bella is not like that nor is she a liar" _

"_If she's not a liar then why now huh Why did she not tell you before I swear she probably saw our engagement announcement in the papers and been plotting to worm her way back into your life and your pockets."_

"_You know what Tanya I had enough of this I do not want to argue with you so can you please just go home this is a lot to absorb and I need to be alone right now."_

She simply nodded her head before kissing me and whispering _"I love you Edward I'll give you your space but think about everything I said do not go into this blindly without the facts I deal with this sort of thing every day at work and I would hate for you to get hurt by her scam."_

I could not even say any because everything she said pissed me off the Bella I known was not the person she was trying to paint in my mind but then again the Bella I know would not of hidden the fact that I was a father from me either fuck this all too confusing to deal with.

That night I barely even slept a wink because everything was playing out in my mind not to mention Tanya's works kept running through my mind as well.

FUCK FUCK FUCK I 'm royally screwed and to top it off all of this was all new to me. I most certainly do not know the first thing about being a father and what if Bella lied to me when she said they knew about me? Hell what if she lied to them about the reasons why I was not in their life.

I slowly gotten ready and pulled out my phone going over the directions Bella had given me and made my way over to her house.

Once I reached her house I just sat in my car in front of her house trying to mentally prepare myself for all of this and truly wish I had gotten enough sleep last night.

I had rang her doorbell and a few moments lately the door swung open and there stood Bella with her hair messy, toys in her hand and one of my old beat shirt and shorts. I guess she was not expecting me this early because shock and surprise was written all over her face.

"I could come back later if this is a bad time?"

"Oh no I just thought you were Rose she normally comes over this earlier and I wasn't expecting you till much later come in though"

Once she motion me to come inside I stayed waiting for her to lead the way I was about to speak as she closed the door when she placed her hands on her lips to tell me to remain quiet. I truly did not know why until she peeked into the living room as we made our way into the kitchen.

"_Sorry about that their still asleep had I known you were going to be here so early I would of woken them plus when I came home last time Angela told me Ashley had gotten sick from vegging out on junk food during the Disney-thon last night. Would you like some coffee? I had just put a pot on it should be ready by now"_

I just nodded my head as she motion for me to take a seat on the stool awhile she went to grab two mugs from the cupboard. Just as she grabbed the coffee pot I do not know why I said what I did put it just came out

"_Bella I want to have a paternity test done"_

As soon as the words came out of my mouth Bella tensed and the coffee pot fell straight to the floor. I did not even have to see her face to know the emotions that played across them but before either of us could say anything I heard someone say

"Mommy what was that noise?"

I turned around to see a little girl rubbing her eyes and she looked up to her mother and then her eyes focus on me before I saw a flicker of recognition come across the little girls face.

However at the moment the only thought going through my mind when the little girl kept staring at me was FUCK especially when the little boy came into the kitchen.

I turned to looked at Bella and saw the tears building up in her eyes but she refused to look my way _"Ashley and AJ go and freshen up I'll make you guys some breakfast."_

The kids nodded they heads looked at me and left the room

"_Bella I……"_

"_Save it I do not want to hear it; today is about them not the issues between you and I"_

And with that she turned her back to me cleaning up the mess and prepared breakfast as if nothing happen and as if I was even in the room.

What have I done? FUCK

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**Ok I just wanted to explain something Edward is having an internal battle with himself. He's battle with the news about being a father, Bella's betrayal, his action that lead up to this and deep down inside (Buried deep though) is his feelings for her. As someone pointed out in last chapter review it took Bella mention his fiancee for him to even remember her but do not get your hopes up just yet, Tanya will be here for a bit longer as you can see she already added fuel to the flames and she isn't going to stop just yet.**

**I know I said next chapter will be the drama but I feel it'll be rushing it so I want to show the bonding between Edward and his children before I get to that**

**Yes I know Edward is an ass for asking for a paternity test and once he saw the children he felt it briefly but do not worry Bella's gonna let him have it but like she said "Today about the children not their issues"**


	10. Breakfast and Legacies

**Sorry for the delay with this chapter but I had computer issues and when I got my computer back I had issues writing this chapter because I had all sorts of drama brewing in my head for future chapters. So I took a break from this chapter and worked on the other chapters. Next update will be out soon**

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**BPOV**

After I got off the phone with Edward last night I just had a feeling that maybe things would just be alright between us but nine god damn words shattered it all _"Bella I want to have a paternity test done."_

I was just about to pour the damn coffee too as he blurted those damn words out and before I could even register I let the fucking coffee pot drop out of my god damn hands.

He wants a paternity test? Does he really think I would lie to him about something like this? Fuck what kind of person does he take me for?

Bella calm down your kids is in the next room I said to myself and just as I was about to turn around to give him a piece of my mind I heard my little girl say _"Mommy what was that noise?"_

I could not even answer her right away because my mind was still reeling from the blow of Edward's words. I took some deep breathes fighting back the tears to at least attempt to compose myself before turning around to face my little girl.

When I turned around I still could not form any damn words because I saw Ashley's expression as she was looking between Edward and me. AJ came into the kitchen not too long after Ashley and my eye flicker towards Edward looking to see what he's reaction was. I wonder in the fucker still wants a paternity test now? Because I swear if he denies them as his own after seeing them then he has some god damn issues and is a complete asshole.

Seriously one look at these kids and you can tell Edward is there father. Both Ashley and AJ has the same shade of green eyes like him, they both have his weird bronze-like hair color and not to mention AJ looks exactly like Edward when Edward was his age.

That look on his fucking face was priceless as he took in the appearance of my angels and I could not help the smug grin I plaster on my face however his words still stung deeply and I seriously was not in the mood to deal with him anymore.

I quickly asked both my little angels to go upstairs to freshen up while I get breakfast for them. Once they were out of sight Edward finally spoke up "_Bella I……"_but I completely cut him off because I did not want to hear what he had to say plus I did not want Ashley and AJ to pick up the tension between us "_Save it Edward I do not want to hear it; today is about them not the issues between you and I"_

I turned my back to him and began cleaning up the mess I had made also to hide the tears that started to rub down my cheeks for some reason I did not want him to see me cry.

While cleaning up the mess Edward began speaking again _"Bella I'm truly sorry"_ again I cut him off _"Edward I truly do not want to hear your apologizes you have nothing to apologize for you want to make certain my children are yours then fine I'll make sure to set an appointment up soon."_

"_Bella that will not be necessary I do not even know what possess me to ask"_

I wiped my tears and turn around to face him because I had to may sure I got this point across that I was about to make

"_Look Edward I know all of this is new to you and I want to make certain you have no doubts about anything when it concerns them because I want to shelter them from any hurt or pain that may or may not arise in the future. Also if you choose to acknowledge them as your children then I want you to know I do not want any sort of financial obligation from you; all I want from you Edward is for you to be in their lives and for you to get to know your children but like I said before now is not the time to discuss this because I'm sure they'll be back downstairs soon."_

Just as Edward was about to respond I heard the TV turn on in the living room so I knew they were back downstairs _"Why don't you go and join them while I prepare breakfast?"_ Edward nodded his head and stood up to leave the kitchen he paused at the door like he wanted to say something but shook his head and proceed out towards the children.

I rested my elbows with the hands muffling a groan unto the kitchen counter this thinking _'please just give me the strength to make in through today with him here'_

I decided to make the kids favorite breakfast which consisted of Banana flitters with sliced strawberries and powder sugar on top with a side of bacon and scramble eggs with cheddar cheese.

As I was placing the plates on the table I heard a lot of giggling coming from the living room so instead of calling out to them I went into the living room to get them. I stopped in the threshold of the living room and the sight before me made my heart melt as I watch him interact with our children.

The sight was so heartbreaking and it made me feel like an ass because this was how it should have been from the beginning not only did I robbed Edward but I robbed my children as well; what kind of mother am I? I thought to myself.

I could feel the tears building so I clear my throat capturing their attention letting them know breakfast was ready.

As we sat at the table I silently observing everything going on around me and I notice that while AJ seem excited due to Edward's presence; Ashley however seemed a bit reserved and did not talk as much with was odd.

As we begun eating I started the conversation going to get things out in the open because now that Edward know of them and they've seen him things would never be the same again and I just prayed it would be in a good way.

"_So kids I know you notice that mommy has a guest here this morning right?" _the both nodded the head and it did not escape my notice how Ashley looked a bit worried as something as if something was troubling her.

"_Well his name is Edward Masen Cullen"_I looked over at my children when I said his name and I saw realization dawn on AJ face and again I saw Ashley had some sort of weird emotion playing on her features.

AJ was the first to speak up as he turned his attention to Edward _"So that means you're our father right?"_

I looked at Edward then because I knew earlier he mention a paternity test but all you need to do was take one look at these kids and you'll know his. Edward then smiled at them and looked me into the eyes before answering him.

"_Yes I am you guys father and if you'll both let I would truly love an opportunity to get to know you guys better."_

I did not even realize I had tears running down my cheek until I felt Ashley's fingers wiping them away. _"Mommy, why are you crying?"_ I place my hand over Ashley's hand and whispered _"these are tears of joy baby."_

Ashley then turn to Edward and I was immediately cautious on what she was about to say because she plastered on her up to no good smile.

"_So does that mean we have to call you dad, daddy or father?"_ I seriously wondered why she was going with this because I could sense the edge she had in her voice. Edward looked at me and I just nodded my head because I believe even without words I knew what he was asking me.

"_I know this is all knew to both of you and I just want to make you guys comfortable so how about I let you decide what to call me."_

They both nodded their heads but Ashley appeared to be deep in thought

"Hmm" she looked at me then at Edward before she continued _"Well then I would __**PREFER**__ to call you Edward then" _It did not escape my notice nor Edward's when she deliberately and slowly put an edge in her voice when she said the word prefer.

'_Fuck what does Ashley's attitude towards Edward means'_ I thought to myself

I glance up at Edward and saw he was a bit hurt but he quick replace his feelings with a calm mask before speaks _"If that's what you wish then its fine by me as well"_

All Ashley did was nod her head and gave him that sugary sweet fake smile of hers. God this is bad really bad were the only thoughts going through my mind and I was the one the one to blame for all this – had I been upfront and tried hard to reach out to Edward in the beginning this would not be happening now.

I was pulled out of my internal reverie by AJ asking Edward a question I knew he did not have the answer for also I was extremely happy by the bond AJ seem to have with Edward. _"Dad, how come our last name is different than yours?"_I saw the corners of Edward's mouth pull into a smile when AJ called him dad and again my I felt that tug deep within my heart. Edward looked at me confused and a bit hurt by AJ's question.

However I have my reason why they do not have the last name Cullen and no matter what I will refuse and remain adamant on my point on why they will never have that last name. Do not get me wrong I love and respect the Cullen's but technically speaking Cullen blood do not run through their veins and I wanted to keep some sort of legacy alive within their heritage.

**EPOV**

After the whole incident in the kitchen I could tell Bella was thoroughly pissed off at me and for some reason I could sense that Ashley knew this too because while in the living room she would smile politely while I interacted with her brother but she herself would remain tentative when I tried to interact with her.

Breakfast was a bit interesting especially when Bella pointed out to them who I was without even saying something along the lines _"hey kids this is your father"_ instead she just mention my name and the piece it together. It's not that I did not believe her when she said they knew of me but I guess some part of me still wanted to doubt her because she kept this from me for so long.

When AJ asked if I was his father I was going to answer right away yes but I remember my words from earlier and my own words came back to bite me in my ass. Without a doubt in my mind I knew I was the father of these children. If I had any doubt all I had to do was look them in the eyes and know they were mind because all it would take is one look to see my green eyes staring right back at me from them.

I then looked at Bella and I saw she was looking at me with caution trying to see what my response would be so I tried to assure with my eyes that I believed her before answering my son.

"_Yes I am you guys father and if you'll both let I would truly love an opportunity to get to know you guys better."_

He was looking at me with such reverence and I could not help but to smile at this.

I was about to say something when Ashley spoke up _"Mommy, why are you crying?"_

I chance a look at Bella and even though I knew she would never tell them the reasons what brought on the tears I knew it had to do with me acknowledging Ashley and AJ as my children.

Bella did not speak right away and I could not help the pang of jealousy I felt between the bonds Ashley shared with her mother when I saw her wipe Bella's tears away.

When Bella lend into Ashley's little hand and covered it with her own before whispering _"these are tears of joy baby."_

I knew it was wrong to be jealous but I knew Ashley was distancing herself from me nor did I miss the weird emotions Ashley was displaying or the sideward glances Bella was giving Ashley.

Ashley then turn her attention to me for the first time since we down to eat breakfast and gave me the most angelic smile ever that I thought just maybe I was reading into too much with Ashley's timid behavior towards me.

As Ashley started asking me her question I saw Bella arch her eyebrows at Ashley quizzically like she was trying to figure out something. _"So does that mean we have to call you dad, daddy or father?"_

Her question actually made me feel happy on the insides and I would love nothing more for them to call me dad or anything along those lines but I wanted them to be comfortable around me and leave it as their choice.

I looked at Bella and it was like she was reading my mind when she nodded her head and small. I swear that's the one thing time could never change about Bella and I we could always sense what the other is thinking

"_I know this is all knew to both of you and I just want to make you guys comfortable so how about I let you decide what to call me."_

They had both nodded their head and Ashley appeared to be so deep in thought. I heard her say _"hmm"_ after a few moments passed by before she spoke again

"_Well then I would __**PREFER**__ to call you Edward then"_ I got the message loud and clear when she spoke slowly and stressed on the word prefer. I was hurt by this and I knew Bella was observing everything happen so I had my emotions and tried to act as her words did not hurt me.

"_If that's what you wish then its fine by me as well" _I told her so nonchalantly. I knew at the moment my relationship with Ashley was going to be strained and I swore after I answered her she gave me a smug smile. I did not blame her for her wanted to keep her distance from me the person I blamed was sitting right across from me but I couldn't bring that up with the children presence.

Part of me knew if I were going to get Ashley to warm up to me I would have to work on things between Bella and myself which right now I still did not know exactly what I was going to do with this situation yet.

"_Dad, how come our last name is different than yours?" _When AJ called me dad I was extremely pleased however I was confused and hurt by his question surely if she told them about and if she name them after me and gave Ashley my mother's name they should have my last name – Clearly she would not name them Swan after the people that hurt her?

Bella cleared her throat and looked me in the eyes with some hidden emotion that I could not read before she spoke.

"_AJ why don't you tell your father what your last name is?"_

She kept her eyes on me the entire time with that hidden emotion and it look like she was also trying to plead with me to understand; however the question was what exactly does she want me to understand.

"_Masen"_was all he said and I looked at Bella truly trying to figure out why would she name them Masen not that I'm mad or anything that she did but I just wanted to know why.

Bella saw my confused expression and all she did was smiled before turning her attention to our children. _'God I love the way that sounds.'_

"Why don't you kids go and wash your hands and meet us back in the living room once we clean up in here ok" The kids rose from their seats after Bella spoke to them and went upstairs.

Once they were out of hearing range Bella began wring her hands on the table before she proceeded to talk

"_I want you to know that I do not have anything against the Cullen's but I named them Masen because you're your father's legacy and even though you go by Cullen I wanted your birth father's name to live through our children plus your parents were always so fond of me whenever you guys came to visit before they passed away."_

Here I sat thinking she named them after her lowlife father when she named them Masen so that my father's name could carry on. I just sat back and just stared at her with wonder because her words had so much depth and dedication behind them.

Bella rose from the table and began clearing the dishes off the table when she went to gather my plate I grab her wrist she looking down on me again with some hidden emotion in her eyes

"_Bella thank you I truly appreciated you naming them after my father and I understand why you did it also I want to apologize for my behavior earlier."_

Bella just sighed and I released her wrist, she turn towards the sink to but the dishes into the sink spoke softly _"You're welcome and even though it hurt when you doubted me on their parentage I understand where your coming from but like I said before please just let's focus today on them. Why don't you go and wait for them in the living room while I straighten things up in here."_

Instead of going straight into the living room I looked around Bella's house. I walked passed an open door and saw a piano sitting in the middle of what appeared to be a den/library. I entered the room just staring at the piano remembering the last time I played one was right before Bella left and without thinking I just sat on the bench and begun stroking the keys.

I was unaware I had an audience until I saw AJ sit on the bench next to me and I turned around to see Ashley just standing in the doorway. I motion for her to join us and I saw she looked down the hall towards the kitchen biting on her lip before she entered the room and sat in the corner. Well at least that's some sort of progress right and if I did not know any better I would swear Bella was outside the door urging her to come in the room.

"_I recall you mother telling me you're taking lessons AJ"_

AJ just looked up at me smiling and nodded his head _"Mommy says you taught her how to play and that the lullaby she hums to use you wrote it for her could you play it?_

Bella's lullaby I wanted to say no because that song was about my undying love, friendship, trust and devotion for Bella but Bella broke all the meanings behind the lullaby when she never toward me I was a father. I was about to lie and said I forgotten the notes for it but instead I just began playing it because I never want to lie or kept anything from my children.

Having one parent whose a liar should be good enough_ 'fuck why my thoughts keeping going that direction with Bella?'_

After I finished playing AJ had ask me to teach him how to play it one day and before I could answer I heard Bella voice from somewhere behind me

"_You still play it as beautiful from the first time I've heard it"_

I turn around to see her in the corner sitting with a very serene looking Ashley in her lap while she wiped the tears away.

"_Not as beautiful as what inspired it."_ Was what I wanted to see but that ship as long sailed and the Bella that should before me was one that I did not trust.

I was about to speak but Bella beat me to it

"_I have an idea why don't you take the kids out introduce them to the rest of your family and spend sometime getting to know each other."_

"_If that's truly okay with you and them I would love that"_

Bella just nodded her head and I saw the excitement in AJ's eyes but it was Ashley that I knew would be the hard sale.

"_Will you be coming with us mommy?"_ Ashley asked and you could hear the sadness in voice when she asked like she was afraid of what her mother's answer would be.

Bella just look down at Ashley and motion for AJ to come and join them in the corner. When AJ got up to join them again I felt a pang of jealousy and call selfish or whatever you want but it was in that moment that I prayed Bella would say no not and join us; it was also in this moment that an idea pop into my mind about having a better bond with my children but I'll revisit that idea later.

"Listen my little angels as much as mommy would love to join you guys but today is about both of you getting to know your father so please be good for him and enjoy your time together."

I watch Bella interact with them and you good see that she's a good mother but my idea still stand because I felt robbed for the last 4 ½ years. AJ left the room to go and change and I saw Ashley wrapped her arms around Bella while clinging to her crying. I do not know why Ashley was crying but seeing her cry sold me more on my idea.

I saw Ashley whisper something to Bella and I assumed it was I love you because Bella's response was _"I love you too angel"_ as she carried her out the room to get her ready

* * *

**Next Chapter - Mommy's Baby Daddy's Maybe (Begins with Ashley POV I want you guys to get inside her head she's just not a bratty little kid she has deep fears especially when it concerns her Mom)**

**A/N**

**First up no EDWARD is not going to KIDNAP his children his idea will not be reveal till later and next will be the last EPOV for the next few chapters. He's idea will be revealed from BPOV when it hits her hard.**

**The next chapter will be in EPOV and I will throw in Ashley's POV**

**Also this story will have a HEA (only thing I will say is Bella and Edward has a bit of a way to go before they can have a HEA) but with ever other HEA come sadness**

**I will not do a cope out of Tanya cheating to throw B/E together nope not happen Tanya will be a Btch but she's loyal as ever in her relationship towards Edward.**

**Again sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out**


	11. Momma's Baby Poppa's Maybe Pt 1

**Ashley POV**

I had a bad feeling for days things were changing and my feelings were confirmed the day at the restaurant when my mother was acting weird with the table she was tending too.

When we left the restaurant I saw that sad look in my mother's eyes that she'll have whenever she thinks about him. He being a man I've never met but heard so many great things about him but why with all these great things momma tells us about him, then why is she always so sad and miserable whenever she thinks about him?

Mom would never tell us when she's sad because she doesn't want Anthony and I to worry about her but she's not as good at hiding things as she may believe. Sometimes when we're busy playing and mom either watch teach or reading a book she gets look in her eyes like she's faraway thinking about something distant.

There's also times when I have terrible sleeping which has been frequently lately that'll end up walking down the hall to momma room but before she'll notice me I'll see her holding his picture crying and she'll be begging for his forgiveness. Seeing my mother like that hurt deeply and instead of going any further and making my present known I just go back to my room and wish momma wouldn't be so sad.

Momma also told us that one day we'll meet this man and he'll just fall so deeply in love with us because we were his own flesh and blood, she also told use that even though he's not in our lives she should never place the burden on him because he's an innocent that gotten hurt by the mistakes she made in the past. I may not know the extent of the mistakes but I know my mother is sorry and at times _"her guilt eats away at her" _at least that's what uncle Jasper said to Aunt Rose when he thought my brother and I were busy.

My mother may have a lot of issues on her plate but she raised us the best way she knew how. My brother and I go to one of the best schools for gifted children here in Chicago. When we're not in school, momma is helping us with our other interests that we may have. Even though my brother and I or twins mom always instill into us that we may be the same in certain aspect in life but always follow our dreams, strive for excellent, it's okay to fail at something just never give in to defeat, she lets us know it's okay to be an individual and most important our voice is the most important thing in life and never let anyone silence us; which she goes on by saying it doesn't mean to talk back to people or be mean but just never let anyone belittle us or force us into doing things we do not want too.

May people I know does not understand how my mother raises twins on her own but she takes everything people say with a smile and tells them thank you but we do just fine and we have all the help, love and support we need. Which is true because not once have our mother ever made Anthony and I feel unloved because no matter how busy or crazy things may be in her life she makes time us. There are days which are known as _"Twin days"_ which are days design for just the 3 of us doing group activities that we plan on doing that we pick out of a fish bowl and _"Twin days"_ general happen 2-3 times a week; and then there's days that are known as _"Mommy and Me days" _which are days design for just either my brother or I spending the day with mom all by ourselves without the other sibling present. Mom says the reason behind _"Mommy and Me days"_ are to teach us to be individuals and that even though we may be the same its okay to be different.

I live for the days were its just mom and me not that I do not love spending time with Anthony but when it's just mom and I things just seem so easy and carefree.

For some reason though it's like I could always read my mother's emotions so well which is why last night when we came back from spending the day with Auntie Rose and Uncle Jas that I knew something was wrong. Mom was curled up in her bed and even though she was sleeping for some reason I could tell she was crying and it made me sad because I hate seeing her like this so I do the only thing I could do I crawled into bed and just hold her.

Anthony ends up joining me in the bed with mom and so does Auntie Rose and uncle Jas which confirms to me that something happen today to make her sad because when Uncle Jas and Auntie Rose starts comforting mom it always means something is eating away at her.

When mom wakes up she tries to put on a happy face for us but she has this nervous habit of playing with her locket that he gave to her whenever she's worried about something.

We all were suppose to have a Disney camp out in the living room but mom told us that her, Aunt Rose and Uncle Jas had to go out to take care of some very important but that instead of cancelling Auntie Ang was going to join us. To say I was disappointed by what every came up would be an understatement because this was a "Twin Day" activity and mom never back out on us before on days design just for us.

Auntie Ang watched us while mom was out and even though I enjoyed spending time with her I was not feeling well and was extremely worried about my mom because when she left she had looked so out of it.

Later on in the evening I ended up throwing up guess that's what I get for vegging out and being a worrywart. I ended up falling asleep in my sleeping bag only to be woken up after my mom felt my forehead to see if I had a temperature. I did not make any noises to let anyone know I was awake and shortly after everyone left my mom's cell went off.

Throughout the muffle sounds I heard something I would of never imagine my mother to say_ "__Oh um hey Edward I um wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon"_

Him? She was talking to him I wonder if this was the reason why she bailed out on _"Twin Day."_ I wish I could have heard more of the conversation but mom ended up going to another room to talk. Okay so I'm a bit noisy!

I ended up drifting back to sleep but not before hearing what sounded to be my mother sobbing. Seriously I know mom says that he's suppose to be this great loving, forgiving and compassionate type of person then if that's the case why is my mom forever crying whenever his involve with something?

In the morning I was semi awoken by my mom cleaning and by someone knocking on the door. I heard a man's voice and my mom speaking in hush tones leading whoever it was into the kitchen.

Next thing I knew I heard something crashing to the floor and I rushed into the kitchen to see what was wrong. My mother and whoever the man was back were to me when I entered _"Mommy what was that noise?"_

Both my mother and the guy turned quickly towards me and I saw the one person I never thought I'll meet anytime soon. I just kept looking between the two of them and I saw tears in my mother's eyes that she seem to be fighting to make sure they did not shed in front of me. Why does this man always hurt my mother by making her cry?

I felt like shouting and telling him to get out and leave us alone…

Anthony ended up joining me in the kitchen now and I could see he recognized him as well and my idiot brother looked happy that he was here.

Mom had finally spoken up and asked us to go wash up before breakfast.

In the bathroom Anthony finally said something _"Is that really who I think it is Ash?"_

I just rolled my eyes before saying highly annoyed _"what do you think?"_

Why must Anthony be so happy be this and seriously am I the only one that see's moms pain?

We went in the living room to watch cartoons while waiting for breakfast to finish when HE decided to join us in the living room.

He came and sat on the couch say _"so you must be AJ and Ashley?" _I just simply rolled my eyes mumbling so low_ "no duh,"_ I know I should be nice to him but this whole thing felt weird to me and plus he kept making mommy cry. Okay I'll also admit that I'm scared of what all this mean now because it just use to be just the 3 of us so where does he fit into all of this and how much are things going to change?

I heard him and Anthony talking about something but I paid it no mind I just kept my attention on the TV praying mom would hurry up with breakfast; he kept trying to include me into the conversations but all I kept doing was nodding my head. I saw mom from the corner on my eye watching us and her eyes kept going between him and me, well at least mom knows I'm not happy!

During breakfast I could tell mom was not please with my behavior towards Edward but apart from stories mom told us about him I truly do not know him so how come she expects me to give him my trust so easily to him. I just keep getting these really bad vibes plus I did not want things to change and with him in the picture now I knew change would eventually happen.

I know many of you may think my behavior is bratty but my mom means the world to me and I'm afraid with him in the picture I'll lose her.

I heard Edward and Anthony in the play room so I just stood in the doorway watching them; just standing there I felt like I was already losing part of me watching my brother bond with him so easily without a care in the world.

Edward had motion for me to come in back I just stood in the doorway unmoved because I felt once I let my guard down something was going to happen. I swear it wasn't for mom trying motioning for me to go in I would have just stood in the doorway.

Even as I entered the room I did not want to get any closer to them so I went to the cushions in the corner and just sat there.

I did not even realize I was crying until mom came to lift so I could sit in her lap; mom rocked me back and forth while Edward played momma song. Mom kept reassuring me that everything was going to be alright with time but when she spoke those words she did not even say it with much certainty herself plus it was like she was trying to reassure herself more than me.

When momma suggested he take us out to spend more time with him without her I lost it. I just held on to her tighter begging her to come with us but momma kept rubbing circles in my back letting me cry all the while telling me this will be good for all us and to go with him and behave for her.

When we had came back down stairs to leave with him I just stayed quiet and held on to mom tighter because all of this was just too new and too much for me to deal with right now.

In the car he had told us he was taking us to his house so that we could meet our other relatives but I didn't want to meet these people. Geez couldn't he had just taken us to the Zoo or the museum or something instead of throwing us in front of a bunch of people we do not know; and of course Anthony my traitor of a brother was thrilled by this.

**Author Notes**

**Next chapter will be part two and with will continue on with Ashley's POV on the Cullen's**_(One__particular Cullen she's going to DISLIKE completely and it's not her Poppa)_**and someone else,**

** Follow by a brief EPOV before it becomes an all BPOV for awhile.**

**I want to assure you guys that with future chapters you may not like what you see but this is an Edward and Bella story but we're not at that point yet.**


	12. Momma's Baby Poppa's Maybe Pt2

**I NEED A BETA ANY VOLUNTEERS**

**Ashley POV**

So not only is my father Edward is not apparently in our lives now but his load; this house is so huge.

Once we entered the door we were greeted by the welcome wagon or should I say my other relatives _"Yippee" (roll eyes)_

"_Everyone I want you to meet Ashley and Anthony"_ said Edward.

One lady just busted out with joy approaching my brother and I practically shouting _"Oh my God Edward look at them their sooo adorable"_

She went to hug me and I just pulled Anthony in front of me and took a step back behind Edward. When I did this the big scary looking one laughed out _"See look Alice you scared the little munchkin." _

The one name Alice just stuck her tongue out at the scary looking one "_That's okay I just know I'm going to be her favorite aunty"_

Is this woman serious _"my favorite Aunty_" heck the only thing she knows about me is my name.

After see that I did not like being touch the scary looking one approach with caution an got down on one knee to introduce himself _"Hi I'm your uncle Emmett but you can call me Uncle Em"_

The others approach as well and followed Emmett's caution when it came to me. The elder couple Esme and Carlisle just smile and did not look put out by me not wanting to be touch. Heck I truly wish this Alice would take a clue because she tried to touch me again.

Edward had motion us to follow him into the living room were Esme proceed to ask questions about us like where do we go to school, what is our favorite activities, what our favorite food, colors and whatnot.

When I had answered that I love playing sports and working on cars with Auntie Rose, Emmett had a big grin on face and Alice looked like she wanted to die she even said _"Well now we'll just have to change that no niece of mine is going to get dirty"_

"_What's wrong with me liking to play sports or fixing cars?"_ I said with a little edge to my voice.

Alice voice got whiny when she said "But you're a girl"

I just shrugged my shoulders smiling so sweetly at Alice before saying _"Auntie Rose is a girl and she fixes cars plus she also play sports as well also mommy says whining is for babies."_

Alice did not look to please by my comment while Emmett laughed extremely loud when I spoke and Esme just said something along the lines of _"kids just say the craziest things."_

When AJ said he enjoys playing the piano they ask him to play and AJ being AJ just went to show off. Just as he finished playing I heard a voice call out from the hallway _"Edward whatever it was you played play again"_

I turned to the source of this voice and just shouting in my head _OH MY GOD MALIBU BARBIE IS REAL_

Edward just got up and said _"Tanya Baby what are you doing here?"_ before kissing her on her lips.

"_Well after last night Edward I just wanted to come and apologize for my behavior and……"_She stopped herself finally noticing us.

"_Oh Edward who are these little darlings"_

"_Well Tanya these are my children Ashley and Anthony" _I swear I saw anger flash in her eyes when he called us his children.

Tanya went over to the piano bench before to hug AJ before trying to do the same to me. When she went to hug me I moved away, you would think she'll know to stop once I moved away but no she went to touch me again so I snapped _"STOP TRYING TO TOUCH ME I DO NOT LIKE BEING TOUCHED BY STRANGERS"_

She just looked at me and said _"Oh honey I'm not a stranger in fact once I married your daddy I'll be your new mommy" _

I just screamed _"WHAT I DO NOT WANT A NEW MOMMY"_

And I marched over to Edward and said _"I WANT TO GO HOME NOW"_

I heard Tanya saying something about _"these children these days need to be raised properly"_ and Alice came over to whisper something into Edward's ear before he looked down at me

_"Ashley, enough stop being so rude. Why you don't go sit down in the corner over there on a time out."_

And I just looked like him like he's crazy. This woman goes and says she's gonna be my new mommy and because I raise my voice I get a time out.

"_No I want to go home and if you don't take me I'm calling mom."_

Esme came over to me reaching out her hands for me saying _"Ashley darling why don't you come with me ok sweetie."_

I just followed Esme into the kitchen and I swear any cool points Edward had with me which was very little to begin with he lost all of them. While in the Kitchen I knew what I had to do.

"_Esme can I use the bathroom please?"_

Esme had showed where the bathroom was and once there I told her I can go by myself. I closed the door and turned on the bathroom door before pulling out my Migo Chaperon and pushed number 1.

**A/N**

**This is a bit short but it sets up EPOV and some E/B drama**

**I want you guys opinion on Ashley**

**A Migo Chaperon is a kid cellphone with only 5 program numbers one of those being 911 plus it also has a location feature on it. **

**If you guys remember one of Bella's requests you'll understand the drama and why what Tanya says is not going to sit well with Bella**


	13. Hot Fudge Brownies and Sundaes

**BPOV**

I needed a release and someone to talk to so I headed straight over to Rose's place. When I arrived she was working on one of her many cars. Once she took in my appearance she immediately stopped what she was working on.

"_So I'm thinking this is a hot fudge brownie and ice cream type of situation?"_

I slowly nodded my head yes.

"_God Rose right now I could just go for a few nice cold stiff ones GWAAAAAAAD" _

Rose stopped making our treats and just looked at me with a very shocked expression. She knows that giving up drinking was easy for me and once I had my babies I refused to pit up a bottle again to drown my sorrows; mainly because I couldn't go down that path anymore and because of my little angels.

"_Damn Bella that bad you want to drink, HELL what the fuck happened? And if I even hear or see your ass even put a bottle to those lips of yours I'll fucking kill you myself"_

"_Thanks I love you too Rose"_ I was being sarcastic but she knows I appreciate her and that I know she means well.

"_Anytime Belly now eat-up the treats and let's talk" _

"You know I haven't had a drink in almost 5 years. I vowed once I found out I was pregnant with Ashley and AJ that I would never pick up a drink again. But Rose I'm so fucking scared right now that I'm gonna lose my children and if that happens lord help me because I won't be able to survive"

"_Seriously Bella what the fuck happen to make you feel this way?"_

"_Everything Rose, God everything is wrong. I fucked up my life, ruined my children's lives by denying them their father, Ashley fucking resents Edward for some reason unknown and I'm so scared because my feelings are still so strong since the last time I saw him five years ago."_

Rose just sat their taking everything I said before finally speaking

"_First off you did not screw up your children's lives all that matters is he's in their lives now…"_

"_But"_

"_No buts Bella just hear me out okay hun"_

I simply just whispered okay.

"_I seriously watched you kick drinking cold turkey and you going through therapy for your other issues. You went through all those things so you can be a stronger person and a good mother to your kids._

_When you left Washington you left with the best intentions at heart. Now even though I may have been riding your ass to tell Edward but I also understand you needed to heal yourself first as well._

_At the time when all this was going on I can understand how rejected his actions made you feel especially since that was the time you need him the most; But Bella you cannot place the blame on your shoulders only either. And if he can't see it in him to forgive about not telling him sooner then my advice to you my friend fuck him because you tried and he shut you out too; Because you don't need that type of stress in your life. You just have to only deal with him to work out so sort of visitation schedule._

_And as far as Ashley resenting him you know that's just Ashley being Ashley and her way of feeling people out. Things in Ashley's life is rapidly changing and I can just about guarantee you right at this very moment she's probably scared shitless but putting up her somewhat brave façade of the 'Don't Touch me phase"_

Everything Rose said is the truth but everything still weighs so heavy on my chest I thought to myself as I picked up another spoonful on our sinful treat.

"I know Rose that's another thing am afraid of and I also can't shake the feeling that I going to lose my angels."

Rose just sighed before grabbing my hand to give me a reassuring squeeze. _"Belly you know we wouldn't let anyone take those kids away from you and to be on the safe side I'm going to call my lawyer to make sure we protect your rights as a mother. Also as far as the feelings you have for him goes, Belly I'll never to you to get over it because that's the hardest thing on can do. Maybe it is time for you to move on I don't know but I do know so place inside of him he still cares for you because feelings like you said he have for you NEVER ever disappear."_

"_So basically the heart wants what it cannot have"_

Rose was about to respond but she was interrupted by my cell phone vibrating on the table.

"_Hello"_

"_Mommy please come and get me"_ Ashley cried out through the phone.

"_Ashley baby what's wrong?"_ Rose looked at me quizzically when I asked that

"_Well Edward brought us over to his house and this lady name Alice tried to hug me and I moved away from her. While the others realized by my actions that I did not like to be touch she still continued to try. Then when I told Emmett 'he's really cool by the way mom' about me liking sports and fixing cars, she said "well we'll just have to changed that no niece of mine gonna get dirty_

_So when I asked her what's wrong with playing sports and fixing cars; she got al whiny and said 'But you're a girl. So I went on to tell her that both you and auntie Rose are girls and like those things, plus I told her what you always told me about whining being for babies_

_She looked really mad after I said that and I promise mommy I was not trying to be rude but she just kept rubbing me in the wrong way."_

"_Is that all that happen and where was your father throughout all this?"_

"_Edward was right there the whole time just watching us and then the mean lady came in."_

"_Was the mean lady name Esme?"_ Seriously I could not see Esme being mean but besides Alice Esme is the only other female relative Edward.

"_No mommy Esme is the really nice lady and the mean lady's name is Tanya and she said some mean things that caused me to shout."_

"_Ashley what do I tell you about raising you voice at people?"_

"_I know mommy but she said that once her and Edward get married she's going to be my new mommy so when I started shouting at her and asked Edward to go home Alice whispered something to him and I know it was her who told him to give me a time out."_

My mind drew a fucking blank on that one and I was quiet for awhile before Ashley started talking again

"_Mommy do you not love us anymore? I promise I'll be good, I'll do more chores, clean up all my toys, eat all my vegetables and go to bed early every night so that you don't leave us. I don't want a new mommy."_

To say I was pissed off now was a motherfucking understatement but I had to control my anger while I was still on the phone with Ashley.

"_Baby I'm on my way with your Auntie Rose and sweetheart I love you with all my heart. I'll see you soon okay angel_

"_Okay bye and I love you too mommy please hurry"_

Once hanging up the phone with Ashley I just sat there silent going over everything Ashley just told me in my mind. The one thing I ask Edward not to do because of this very same reason he just did it and let then have the nerves……….

"_**FUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK"**_ I screamed out

Rose just sat back looking at me with a look that said 'what the fuck was that just about'

I just got up from the table grabbing my cell phone and keys before looking up to Rose saying _"Shit just hit the fucking fan let's go."_

**Author's Note**

**Yeah Don't hate me for stopping there I wanted to do individual POV's **

**As you can see little Miss Ashley has a distaste for Alice and Tanya**

**Bella's Pissed the Hell off**

**And I wanted to show the bonds between Rose and Bella. Rose played a very important role in Bella's life during her time of need and she will in the future too. **

**NEXT UP THE CONFRONTATION**

**ALSO 3 PEOPLE ARE PLOTTING ON BELLA**


	14. The Confrontation

**This Chapter was submitted VIA IPHONE so please excuse errors I will go through and correct them on my home cumputer when I get a chance**

The Confrontation

EPOV

I truly thought her aversion to me was that I was someone new to her life and she was just being a bit leery and I almost believed that when I immediately witness her first interaction with Alice. However as the day proceeded I saw her bond and acted so carefree with Emmett. I'll be the first to admit I'm completely jealous of the interactions between them.

With Emmett she was laughing and sharing her interest of sports and cars; however even though it was not me bring out this side to her I was pleased to see it. She did not even mind when I sat down next to her to listen to the stories as she told Emmett about her hobbies.

However her moment of comfort with me near her and her openness was ruined as soon as Alice opened her damn mouth about Ashley's hobbies _"Well now we'll just have to change that no niece of mine is going to get dirty"_

I certainly thought Ashley would withdraw within herself and refuse to talk for the rest of the day but her next few comments showed me she has her mother's fire in her. "_What's wrong with me liking to play sports or fixing cars?"_

Alice had raised her voice in an extremely annoying manner when she responded "But you're a girl"

Ashley just shrugged her shoulders and smiled that same smile she used on me this morning before putting Alice in her place. _"Auntie Rose is a girl and she fixes cars plus she also play sports as well also mommy says whining is for babies." _

_Note to self: that smile is not so innocent_

Alice most certainly was please by Ashley's comment while Emmett laughed extremely loud muttered something about Alice getting schooled by a child and Esme just said something along the lines of _"kids just say the craziest things."_

Things were pretty tense afterwards until AJ mention he knew how to play the piano and Esme ask him to play for her.

AJ ended up playing chopsticks and I just closed my eyes getting lost in his playing. Just when I thought things were going to get comfortable again I was pulled out of the serene state AJ playing put me in by the one voice I definitely did not expect to hear today especially with AJ and Ashley here.

Tanya FUCK not that I'm not happy to hear her voice but her being her is not good for many reasons. One being I did not want to just spring her appearance into the kids lives; I wanted to do that gradually and second because it was the one thing Bella had ask me not to do.

"_Edward whatever it was you played play again"_

I saw both Ashley and AJ look at Tanya warily as I approach to greet her.

"_Tanya Baby what are you doing here?"_

"_Well after last night Edward I just wanted to come and apologize for my behavior and……"_ she ended up cutting herself off when she saw Ashley and AJ.

"_Oh Edward, who are these little darlings?"_

"_Well Tanya these are my children Ashley and Anthony" _So emotion flash across her face before and was gone immediately before I can even read it.

Tanya just continued to look between them and myself before she ended up going over to the piano to greet AJ.

When I saw that she was trying to approach Ashley I was about to tell her about to warn her about Ashley's aversion to being touch but it was too late.

When Tanya did not get the hint when Ashley moved away from her embrace things seriously hit the fucking fan.

Tanya continued trying to approach Ashley and at first Ashley was being fairly calm about all of this but suddenly Ashley just snapped at her _"STOP TRYING TO TOUCH ME I DO NOT LIKE BEING TOUCHED BY STRANGERS"_

Tanya got down on her knees smiled at Ashley before leaning in and whispering something to her.

I seriously did not know what Tanya whispered but I saw Ashley curl her tiny hands in fist before she marched over me shouting _"I DO NOT WANT A NEW MOMMY" _and demanding that she wants to go home now.

This whole situation was pissing me the fuck off because this is not how I wanted today to go, nor how I wanted them to meet Tanya this way and then Alice came over to me whispered to me _"If you continue to let her talk look that to adults she's just going to continue to walk all over you."_

For a moment I thought what Alice said made sense because so I decided to take action upon Ashley's rude behavior. _"Ashley, enough stop being so rude. Why you don't go sit down in the corner over there on a time out."_

Ashley looked at like I had just slapped her and I immediately regretted my words when I saw the tears well up in her eyes.

Ashley continued to look up at me and shook her head before speaking "_No I want to go home and if you don't take me I'm calling mom."_

_FUCK……_

_IT'S FUCKING OFFICIAL MY DAUGTHER FUCKING HATES ME!_

Esme looked at me with disapproving eyes before reaching out her hand to Ashley before asking her to come with her.

Emmett got up and walked over to AJ saying _"Why do you come with me out to the backyard little man"_

AJ looked into the direction where Ashley disappeared with Esme before nodding his head and following Emmett outside.

Carlisle got up saying he's going to check on Ashley and Esme.

Leaving just Alice, Tanya and I in the living room.

"_What the hell did you say to her to cause her to react like that Tanya and for the love of everything that's holy I hope you did not say what I THINK YOU FUCKING SAID"_

"_But Tanya just shrugged her shoulders and say you know how kids overreact to the slightest thing; besides I would not be surprise if her behavior is an effect of her drug addict mother."_

"_Tanya that's totally uncalled for you to judge Bella like that especially"…_ But Alice cut me off

"_Edward I will not go as far as Tanya about being a drug addict but seriously Ashley's behavior is blatantly rude and uncalled for; and I cannot help but to wonder if it's because of Bella's influence."_

"_Alice what exactly are you getting at?"_

"_I'm just saying that maybe you should think of what's in the best interest of those kids and I hate to say this but if you ever want a relationship with Ashley as open as she was with Emmett you're gonna have to take some action."_

I let Alice words sink in because that cut me too fucking deep because Ashley was fonder of Emmett than she was of me. I was pulled out my reverie by the door bell ringing.

To say I was shock to see a very livid Bella at my door would be the biggest fucking understatement ever.

"_Bella what are you doing here?"_

Bella just shook her head at me before speaking _"Oh I do not know EDWARD maybe I'm here because I do not appreciate the frantic call I got from my daughter and I expected so much more from you Edward how could you?" _

"_Why don't you come in and we can discuss this more rationally"_

"_Rationally Edward really where the fuck was that compassion when you put your daughter on a god damn time out for speaking her mind when your fiancée spoke ill to Ashley. And speaking of which what the fuck she is doing here when that was the one thing I ask you not to do at this damn moment."_

Before I could ever respond Ashley came bounding into her mother's arms _"Mommy you came"_

Bella masked her anger and scooted Ashley into her arms _"Oh course I came angel"_

I went to rub Ashley's back while she was in Bella's arms and Bella shot me a murderous glare.

Bella followed me into the living room and I told her AJ was out back with Emmett. Bella just nodded her head in understanding before handing Ashley over to Rosalie.

"_Angel why don't you go out back with Auntie Rose."_

I sighed once Rosalie and Ashley where out of sight, this was truly how I did not envision today happening.

"_Bella before you…"_

"_No save it Edward. I going to speak my mind and if any of you do not like it quite frankly you can all just kiss my ass because I don't give a fuck the only people I give a damn about is in that backyard and one of them is extremely hurt. Alice my daughter is entitle to her own opinion, interest and hobbies which means she's not your god damn mini-me."_

Alice cut in on Bella's ranting _"Aren't being a tad bit harsh?"_

Bella just through her hands in the air _"Harsh Alice is you trying to change her interest and whispering to Edward that he needs to discipline Ashley."_

I looked at Bella as she said that

"_Yes Edward Ashley heard that and why the hell did you even listen to Alice bullshit. You out of everyone should understand where Ashley was coming from when she lashed out on Blondie over there."_

"_Bella calling Tanya names is uncalled for?_

"_No Edward what's uncalled for is that witch of a fiancée telling Ashley she's going to be her new mother. Did you know when Ashley called me she asked me if I did not love her anymore because of what that bitch said. _

_Come on Edward you've been in Ashley's place before when it comes to feelings like that because to this day you still cannot call Esme and Carlisle mom and dad because you feel it's betraying your dead parents memory. Now put yourself in Ashley's Edward I'M STILL FUCKING ALIVE SO SHE'LL THINK I DO NOT WANT HER._

_I know you're new to the whole parenting thing but the stuff that went one today can end up scaring Ashley"_

_Tanya was quiet this whole time finally spoke up_

"_And whose fault is that he's new to this whole parenting thing huh? Had you've been honest from the beginning with Edward this all could be avoided so do not come in her with you high and mighty attitude trying to be all self-righteous with us. Hell I really hope Edward listens to me and get a paternity test because I bet your nothing but a common whore._

Tanya did not even get to finish and even thing just happened so fast because the only sound that was heard was Bella hand connecting onto Tanya's face and Bella muttering something about _"This was a big mistake"_ before rushing outside to gather the kids.

I just sat there dumb wondering what Bella thought was a big mistake and prayed to god she did not mean me getting to know my kids.

Bella came back in shortly with Ashley in her arms and AJ following behind her with Emmett and Rosalie in tow.

"_Bella Please don't leave things like this"_

Bella just shook her head and said_ "If I saw anything right now to you I'm going to regret so please let it be. I'll give you a call during the week."_

And she left without even letting the kids said goodbye to me

FUCKKKKKK

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**a/n**

**Yeah Bella is pissed but all the bright side to this chapter we have a Emmett and Rosalie coupling about to brew……**

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	15. Avoidance

**This is another update submitted VIA IPhone well edit from home computer once back home**

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**BPOV**

I most definitely was not in the greatest mood once I left Edward's place and I most certainly do not regret my actions for slapping that stupid bitch, at least now I know where Edward got that absurd idea from that Ashley and AJ are not his children.

I'll be the first to admit my past is not checker perfect but I have damn standards and I would never stoop as low in pawn off my children unto someone. Hell at this moment I truly wish I was Asexual or that my children were conceived through Immaculate Conception that way I do not have to deal with this baby daddy bullshit.

When the bitch had the nerves to say _"it's my fault Edward's new to the whole parenting thing because I should have been honest from the start" _it took everything in my to bite my tongue because words and feelings were definitely going to slip. I know it's my fault but how many times do I have to apologize for that and to be honest I done fucking apologizing for it and secondly doesn't the stupid bitch know if I been honest from the beginning which I had every intention too before things happened the way it did she would not be in Edward's life right now.

You know what I'm not even going to continue down that train of thought because I do not want to think about the _'what if's'_ anymore. I know part of me will always entertain the idea that Edward and I should have been married or something by now had everything been out in the open well at least that's what my heart thinks. And right now I truly wish my heart and my brain were on the same wavelength because my brain knows Edward and I is a lost cause but my brain is having a hard time convincing my heart of this notion.

I know I hurt Edward today when I left so abruptly and nothing even letting the kids say goodbye to him which is the only part of my actions that I know was wrong; but Edward has to understand things like that is not cool. Edward should know when I comes to friends and Family I'm fiercely loyal so it should not come out as I surprise that I lashed out on them.

Arrrggghhhh and don't get me started on the issues I have with fucking Alice because my issues with her goes way back to when we were children and no one knows _(not even Edward)_ that I cannot not stand her nor do I trust her. Seriously Carlisle and Esme is the sweetest people I know and to have a daughter like Alice is just unthinkable because I swear she is the spawn of the fucking devil.

I was so lost in my mind that I did not even realize when Rose pulled up into my driveway until she became nudged me.

"_Alright munchkins why don't you guys run upstairs and change into some play clothes while your momma and I prepare dinner"_

Once the kids were upstairs I explained everything that happen inside Edward's house and Rose was not too please either by Tanya's actions.

"_Belly, how about I keep the kids tonight and I'll take them to school tomorrow so that you can have some time to yourself because I truly believe you deserve it after today. I really wish I was inside when that skank said those things because I would have deflated her silicon ass. Women like her is what give blondes a bad name"_

I laughed at the last part of her comment Rosalie always knows just what to say to lift my spirits a bit.

"_Hey Bella"_

"_Yeah Rose?"_

"_What would you say if I ask Emmett out on a date?"_

I notice Rose had stop cutting up the tomatoes as she asked me like she was nervous about my reaction to her question.

"_Seriously Rose you like Emmett?"_

I swear I've never in all my years of knowing Rose did I ever witness her blush or stutter over her words like the way she's doing now……

"_Umm…Well…You see…"_

"_Rose it's truly okay and you do not need my permission to ask Emmett out on a date besides if I had to choose anyone for you to date Emmett will be at the top of the pick. Now spill it what brought this one?"_

Rose had this faraway look in her eyes and her cheeks tinted a lovely shade of red.

"_Well while you were inside dealing with them, Emmett and I had a nice little chat which got me to realize we have a lot of the same interest. So when he brought up what Ashley told him about sports and cars he said jokingly 'he'll worship the ground woman who taught Ashley her love for cars.' Bella you know how I get about when I talk about cars so I might have said something along the lines of 'Well then cannot wait to get you under my hood to see if you're all talk."_

I just stared at Rose with wide eyes…

"What don't look at me like that you know I'm a shameless flirt and even though my comment can be seen as a doubling meaning I did mean it in the literally sense. He's coming by my garage to check out my cars and what not, so it all goes well when he comes by I'll ask him out to dinner or something and if he's lucky I'll he'll get my world breakfast."

I just shook my head at her mumbling _"Rosie you're something else"_

She just shrugged her shoulders and said _"Yeah I know but that's what you love about me chica"_

Once dinner was finish we all sat down to the table to eat and I told the kids they'll being spending the night at Rose's also that on Wednesday night we'll be downing a _"twin day"_ activity to make up for the one that gotten cancel today due to them spending time with their father.

After I said it was then that I truly realized Edward and I truly have to sit down one day and have an open discussion about everything pertaining to them because with him in their lives now lots of things are going to be changing; Such as the normal routine of _'twin day'_ and _'mommy and me days'_ while definitely change to work around a visitation schedule.

One major issue I definitely have to discuss with Edward is that I most definitely did not want his fiancée around my children especially after today and only a small part of the reasons why is selfish _(yeah I know pathetic much? Yup)._

The way that woman went about things with Ashley was extremely uncalled for and I could careless what she says about me but my children are my first priority so I have to think what's best for them which she is most certainly without a doubt not best for them or any child for that matter. Personally if that's the type of woman he wants to marriage I definitely do not want her involve in my children lives because if she can blatantly disrespect them like with word games and insults who's to say she would not be abusive or something to them.

Come to think of it her actions remind me of my birth mother and I vowed I'll never put my kids through anything I went through.

I know I cannot outright forbid Edward to have this woman in my children lives when their getting married soon but something is gotta give.

Once Rose left with the kids I went upstairs to take a bubble bath to let my worries and stress melt away.

**--**

The next morning when I woke up I was still pissed off about everything that happen yesterday so I decided it would be too soon to call Edward because again I did not want to say things to him in anger that I might regret saying eventually.

So instead of dealing with him I put all my energy in my morning workout and hammering away at on my book and deadline for the magazine article I was working out.

_Which brings up an interesting question why does it I always seem like I'm running from Edward?_

_Because maybe you are Bella_

_Great now I'm talking to myself and responding to my own questions_

I was so lost with my writings and thoughts that by the time I looked up at the clock I realized I had about an hour to pick up the kids from school.

That night after picking up the kids from school and once I put the kids to bed eventually later on in the evening my cell became to ring.

I almost answered it but as I looked at the caller ID I saw it was Edward and just let it go to voicemail because I still wasn't ready to talk to Edward yet

_Avoidance much?_

_Oh shut up_

_Says the woman having a conversation with herself._

Tuesday went along same as the previous day and Wednesday for the most part at least up until I got I call from the kid's school saying Ashley was sick.

I ended up rushing to the school and decided to take Ashley to the ER because she had a high fever.

Not wanting AJ to sit around doing nothing I had Rose come and pick him up.

After about sitting in the ER for about 3 hours we were finally seen only for the doctor to say that she has common cold and just need plenty of fluids and bed rest.

So that was how the rest of the week went by with Ashley home from school sick with a cold, working on my deadline for the article, and trying to make sure AJ did not catch what Ashley has.

All in a day's work for a mom.

During the weekend I helped Angela out at the restaurant and the kids stayed with Jasper.

It wasn't until the following week that I was sitting down with Rose talking that I realized something important that slipped my mind

"_So Bella did you and Edward work out everything that happen 2 weeks ago?"_

Fuck had it really been two weeks? Where did all the time go?

_Rose senses my panic expression "You did work things out right?"_

"_Shit Rose with everything that's been going on between Ashley being sick and working on the deadline I completely forgotten to contact him"_

_Yeah Right_ the voice in my head said

Rose looked at me with a stern expression that a parent would give when they're about to discipline a child

"_Bella jeez, do not give this man more reasons to think ill of you. Just like he has to get use to being a parent, which by the way how can he when you've been avoiding him? You have to get use to the fact you're not the only parent in their lives anymore."_

"_I know Rose, I know. I'll give him a call tonight and have the kids talk to him as well. I'm even going to sit down with the kid's individual to get their opinions about spending time with Edward because this affects them."_

"_I hope so Bella"_

"_I know Rose I truly didn't mean to wait this long on purpose but anyway how are things with you an Emmett?" _It wasn't a subtle way of changing the subject but it worked nonetheless.

"_Oh things are going great he came by the shop with Alice last week she was suppose to be dropping him off so she could go shopping. Anyhow she Jasper and I were outside the garage talking when they pulled up. So she ended up stay a bit to get to know Jasper a bit if you catch my drift."_

Rose had stopped talking to see my reaction to this new bit of information and even though I never out right told Rose my issues with Alice she knew my distaste for her. Also Alice sudden interest in Jasper brings up a lot of red flags in my mind.

But I just took a sip of my tea nodding my head for her to continue…

"So I left Alice and Jasper out front while I showed Emmett around the garage. I'm telling Bella when I showed him my cars and stuff he was like a 5 year old in a candy store. Anyhow about an hour later we were heading back up to the front of the garage and I was in the process of asking Emmett out on a date when I heard a squeal and Alice grabbed my arm saying _"Oh Rose this is so great I can see it now were going to be the greatest friends almost like sisters and we have to do a double date night this weekend so we can all get to know each other better."_

I choke up on my tea

"_I double date with whom?" _I already knew the answer before she said it but I still had to ask for some reason.

Rose seemed to hesitate a bit before answering my question _"Emmett and I along with her and Jasper"_

Great the she-devil is slowly worming her way into my life and the only question I can think of is 'what am I not seeing here?' Again the alarms were going off in my mind.

"_So you guys all went on a double?"_

"_Yeah and it was actually a lot of fun even though Alice is bit too hyper for my taste but on the flip the only thing her and I have in common is our love for shopping, also Jasper really seems to enjoy her company I mean this is the first time I actually seen Jasper happy since him and Ange parted ways 2 years ago."_

_**FAN-FUCK-IN-TASTIC **_

"_I know you have issues with Alice and I do not know what they may stem from but if you ever want to talk about I'm here for you babes also maybe it's time to let bygones be bygones with whatever your issues are with Alice they're in the past so be the bigger person babes."_

I just looked at Rose like she gained a third head

"_Belly here is a suggestion how about whenever you and Edward work things out; you, me and Alice go out for lunch or something so that you two can bond and try to work out a friendship just encase Jasper and her decide to become more serious. They've been on about 4 dates so far and it'll make Jasper happy if his favorite gal and his current interest love, fling or whatever you call what's going on between them two get's along."_

Fuck did she have to use that argument

"_Rose I'll think about it but I cannot help but to feel suspicious of her reason to want to be involved with Jasper especially since what happen between her and Ashley."_

Rose just smirked at me _"I am too but like the old saying goes babes 'Get your friends close but your enemies closer"_

She now if Rose's bullshit radar is going off I know something is not right on the Alice front.

After Rose left I went to pick on the kids and told them tonight we're having a family meeting over pizza.

While the kids were changing out their school uniform I pick up my cell and waited for someone to answer the number I dialed

"_Hello"_

"_Umm Hey Edward it's me Bella"_

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**Author's Notes**

**As many of you already guess Tanya is one of the people plotting against Bella. **

**Also in this chapter you've learned Bella has one more secret from her past that involves her dislike for a certain Pixie. You'll learn the reason why very soon but before you see these reasons you'll see Bella **_**"TRYING"**_** to be the bigger person.**

**The story is going to jump ahead a bit (probably next update) and we'll learn of the ultimate betrayal by two people in Bella's life.**

**Oh Edward, Edward why must you be an Assward? Yes we get to see ASSWARD in all his glory soon but he'll be redeemable eventually.**

**For those of you readers whom are extremely perceptive this chapter has a lot of foreshadowing of what's to come and one of those things in this chapter will be what brings E/B together eventually.**

**HAPPY HUNTING AND HAPPY EASTER.......**

**IT'S MY BIRTHDAY ON TUESDAY SO IF YOUR LUCKY YOU MIGHT GET ANOTHER UPDATE TOMORROW BEFORE I GO OUT CELEBRATING**


	16. A Dish Best Served Cold

**Ok my lovely readers I decided to let you guys into the mind of Alice Cullen this will be a brief POV of hers which is pretty much **_**a rundown of her thoughts and opinions from the reunion up until last chapter.**_** While you'll learn one important secret Alice holds you'll still have to wait to learn the things she did to Bella but this one secret is a biggy. Also you're going to see some assumptions Alice made as well before Bella's big reveal.**

**Submitted VIA IPHONE my COMP is acting up so its out getting repaired if I have time at work I'll edit**

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**ACPOV (Alice Cullen)**

My plan for revenge was working perfectly, everyone thought it was just a mere coincidence we ended up at the same restaurant Bella happened to be working at but I knew better.

After 5 years the best the bitch could do was work at a fucking restaurant……PATHETIC MUCH

Once Edward had finally proposed to Tanya I knew I could finally put my plan into fucking motion. I was a bit peeve that he did not give Tanya his great grandmothers' engagement ring and even though he never said the reasons why I know why he didn't fucking do it. After all these years that bitch still held a place in his heart no one could touch and he promised her that ring when he gave her his great grandmothers' locket.

I wonder how he'll feel when he learns the bitch moved on with her life without him and not even give him a second thought but all I could hope for it's that everything goes according to plan today. For years Edward put that bitch on a fucking pedestal and now I was going to show him that she the woman he thinks so fucking highly of is nothing but a user and a common slut.

I know my action are mainly to hurt Bella but Edward deserve the pain he felt too because if it wasn't for him that bitch would of never come into our lives and tear my family apart.

I played my part well around family and the slut as the supportive one and no one knew the wiser, even though I suspected she knew of my dislike towards her in high school but when she never brought it up to Edward or my attention I just disregarded those thoughts as me being paranoid.

For years I been planting the seed of doubt into Edward mind about stop letting Bella in under the whole pretense that she'll never get better if he keeps enabling her and I also played on the unrequited love he had for her.

When I got the sad call from him years ago that he finally took my advice. I did a motherfucking happy dance and put on the supportive mask before going over to his place to comfort him. Damn I deserve a fucking Oscar.

Do I feel guilty in what I've done you might ask and in all honest my answer is HELL NO because I knew once Edward gave the bitch the boot she'll be out our lives forever because it was her worst fear coming true- "losing her precious Edward"

I knew Edward would be hurting but at least it was not two-way streets when it came to feelings were never returned nor did they have a bond stronger than friendship, so this pain Edward is feeling he'll get over it eventually once he realized everything that happen was for the best.

However my happiness was short lived when my mother threw a curveball into my fucking plans to get Bella out of our lives, when she called Edward and called him out on his idiocy when he informed her what he had done.

Edward took out his anger out on me and I acted like I was fucking sorry but one the inside I was as happy as a gay boy in all boys choir because I knew it was the end of Bella and Edward. What Edward did would never sit well with Bella because it's was the one she always told him he'll eventually he abandoned her.

And I could tell by looking in his eyes that he realized now what he has done which is one of the things I love about Edward he never really realize his actions until it's too late.

Edward became all extremely morose after this happen and began putting all his efforts into finding Bella which is the one thing I could not allow. So when he went to my father asking if he knew anyone that could help find her I was one step ahead of both my father and Edward because I knew who my father would recommend.

And that was something I would not allow to happen; so I used my knowledge, money, womanly charms and began looking for incriminating info on Mr. J. Jenks to use to blackmail him. Seriously it was not even hard to get the information I wanted especially when money was not an issue.

J Jenks was like putty in my hands once I found out about that he ran not so legal activity out of his office and has a particular soft spot for having sexual acts.

I took him 6 months to find Bella and his orders were to report the information to me first. _Yes I fucking knew where the bitch was all this time and it's been my most guarded secret for over 5 ½ years._

To say I was surprised by what the surveillance reveal of a very pregnant Bella on the arms of a very good looking blonde guy would be a lie because I always knew the bitch was a fucking slut. And judging by the size of her Bella's belly I realized the bitch didn't has the audacity to even wait too long to start using and ruining someone else life.

I knew this information would shatter Edward but he was already a broken man and I had bigger fish to fry so I had Jenks lie and say he couldn't find any trace of Bella and to inform him it was like she disappeared into thin air or worst case scenario she was somewhere in a ditch dead.

I had Jenks to continue to monitor her life in Chicago that way I was always one step ahead of my enemy.

When Edward accepted his residency in Chicago I was a bit worried my plan to keep them too apart would become unraveled but I couldn't speak out against him leaving to Chicago without making myself look guilty. But luck was on my side when Jenks informed me Bella moved to a different location in Chicago so I prayed their paths would not cross.

I was finally glad when Edward meet Tanya and even though I did not care for her much anyone was better than the skank Bella which brings up to this happy little reunion I decided to set up for our dear Bella and Edward. The only part of my plan that needed help working on was that I without revealing my knowledge of them I had to get Bella to reveal the fact that she's a parent and not only that she a parent but she conceived them no sooner than when she left Washington.

To show Edward while he was hurt miserable Bella could care less about his pain hell he should have known better because the bitch never returned his fucking feelings. Plus this was my chance to ruin Bella's life because I'm sure she never told he current boy toy her past and if she did I'm sure it was only half truths.

The look on Bella's face was fucking priceless when she heard my mother voice and I knew everything would go according to plan because she looked scared shitless when eyes finally met with Edward's and she looked hurt when she saw the rock on Tanya's hands. This made me wonder if our little slut Bella possibly did have feelings for Edward afterall and if she thought he'll be sitting around waiting for her to come back.

Bella was nervous the whole time whenever someone brought up her personally life and I knew the reasons why but again I could not mention it without revealing myself first which was something I had no intention of doing.

But luck was on my fucking side when I heard a deep voice say _"I heard someone need a pick me upper so I brought two little gifts" _which in turn cause Bella to stiffen up.

Perfect her boyfriend and her child was here.

All I could do was smile on the inside while looking at the hurt and so many other emotions play out on Edward's face as Bella turned her attention to the little boy and her boyfriend.

I'll admit though that I was shock when a woman came in with another child of Bella's because Jenks never bothered with pictures anymore after the first ones with Bella being pregnant nor did his contact inform him Bella had twins.

Nonetheless though I use this information to my advantage

Bella whispered something to her boy toy and her usher the kids into the back area; and I could not help but to think Bella did not want the truth to come out to tear her little life she build here apart by her past because why else would she look scared shitless and keep eying Edward like she was afraid of his reaction.

When I had suggested hanging out with Bella and her family I was a bit disappointed that Bella said no almost instantly because I NEEDED everyone involved so that I could bring her down to her knees. I'll admit I felt bad for involving her children but they'll be better off without someone like her in their lives. I'm sure their father Jasper could raise them on his own once he learnt the whole truth about Bella.

Later in the evening I was so ready to get this show on the road and to finally have this bitch out of our lives once and for all.

Once Tanya left you could feel the tension in the air and I saw how her boyfriend and her boyfriend's sister held onto her hand soothing her before Bella broke the ice and began conversation.

The conversation flowed feeling but I could still see that Bella was on edge still and for some reason she had fear in her eyes like her world was about to fall apart like there was something she knew that we didn't know which was ludicrous because I knew about Jasper and her children.

However it was like someone was always attempting to foil my plans when my mother had asked both her and Jasper about her children. Jasper, Bella, Rosalie and Edward had tense up when my mother brought this subject up and all I kept thinking was I wish I had some fucking popcorn but when the bitch opened her mouth she threw me into a loop by saying _"Umm Jasper is not my children father."_ I thought to myself I'm going to have to have a nice long talk with Jenks and ask for his contact hear in Chicago that gave wrong information.

Bella had spoken up before any of us had a chance to question what she just said "_I understand trust me you guys reaction is not the first time I experience this many people have assumed Jasper is the father of my children but he is not. People come to this assumption mainly because the only man they've ever seen in my children life is Jasper."_

We all nodded our heads in understanding but I at least myself and Edward had one question that was burning in our eyes and it looked like this was the one question she was trying to avoid answering

So when my mother asked her "_So the father is not in the children life?"_

Bella literally looked like she was shitting bricks and like she was having an internal battle with herself until Jasper nudged her bring her back into the here and now where she lamely answer "_It's a bit complicated"_

She had my interest perked and before I could even stop the words from coming out my mouth I blurted out "_Why is it complicated do you not know who the father is?"_ Hell I always knew the bitch was slut.

I could not help but to notice the malice in her voice when she replied _"Of course I know who the father of my children is Alice, do you really think that little of me?"_

So I just raised my hand in peace before responding to her "_I'm sorry Bella I did not mean to apply anything it's just when you said it's complicated that was the first thing that came to mind."_

Edward saved her from me continuing asking her questions about the father and she went all on telling us about her children and to tell you the truth I tuned out what she was saying up until Edward jumped up losing his cool with her. I just sat on the edge on my sit thinking yes Edward finally see her for what she is and my revenge is finally coming through but I was confused by his rant because it implied something _"For crying out loud Bella you slept with him after everything that he put you through and after everything that happen that night. __**HOW COULD YOU**__?"_

Bella kept pleading with Edward to wait as he began to leave and I was all but singing good riddance in my mind knowing Edward and my family would finally be down worrying about this bitch when she shouted three words that shock everyone including fucking me **"DAMMIT THEIR YOURS"**

That was totally unexpected because Edward never even told any of us they did the nasty because anything dealing with this bitch is nasty. How could Edward even want to stick his dick up inside that broad because I know if I was a damn male and knew her past I wouldn't want to touch her with a 9" pole of someone else penis.

When Edward order us out of the living room I was pissed off that I could not see the action unfold but I knew he would not go easy on her because of the rage, betrayal and hurt he was feeling.

We didn't hear any of what was going on in the living room and my parents where question her friends about her life which they said something along the lines of how they did not feel comfortable revealing anything about Bella without her permission. During our time with her friends I notice how Rosalie and Emmett pretty much kept eye fucking one another but neither made the move to talk to one another; so I decided to file this information away for later usage if a situation should arise where I needed a in.

When Bella came to gather Jasper and Rosalie she looked as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders but she still looked worried and scared so I knew things did not go too well with Edward.

Edward was sitting in the living room with his head between his hands and I notice a rather large envelope next to him so as I went to grab it Edward flipped out on me as her snatched it out of my hands so I pouted at him.

"_Alice any other time that pout of yours might work but the stuff in here I want to be the first one to look these over so can for once no meddling and give me some privacy."_

His tone was extremely harsh and a small part of me felt bad because even though Bella never told him and according to Edward she did attempted to tell him something that day we just assumed it was about her getting her act together and the tattoos.

The only reason why I felt bad was that I was no better than her I knew where Bella was all this time and I too denied Edward a chance of knowing his kids sooner. My mind already started turning on ways to make right my wrong and to make sure Bella pay and that she loses her kids in the process.

When Edward left wanting to be alone I excused myself to go to my suite so that I can think of ways to make things right with Edward and that Bella feel the pain she cause Edward all these years.

--

Later the next day when Edward call us and informed us to meet him at his house because he was bring his children there I was excited to meet my nieces and nephews because I knew once I got Bella out of their lives besides my mother I'll be the most important woman in their lives.

I went out of my way in making banners and buying them gifts for when they arrived. I totally disregard my mother when she said I was going overboard with the celebrating because these kids are going to be going through major changes so I should tone down the excitement.

The kids are extremely cute and when I approached the little girl first I was a bit hurt when she stepped away from me so when I tried to approach her again and she hide behind Edward I was mad because I knew this was Bella's doing she had to tell them to not be friendly around us.

However that theory was shot to hell when the boy let me approach him and when Ashley was extremely open to Emmett and the others. I could not help but to notice how jealous Edward was by Emmett and Ashley bonding so I just sat back watch and listen to things I can used later to bring Bella down.

When Edward had mention about his morning at Bella's with the kids and how the kid's last name were Masen and not Cullen I was fucking livid but decided not to say anything. That fucking ungrateful bitch my parents took her into our home and Edward goes by friggin Cullen no matter what her reasons for choosing to name them Masen she is fucking undermining my parents and Edward. Legacy my ass that's alright though once I put my blames in motion the first thing I'll make sure to change is their fucking last name.

During the course of the time her I came to learn that Ashley was extremely opinionate and a tomboy so when I voiced my opinions on wanted to change that I differently saw her mothers pigheadness inside of her and I vowed to get Bella out those children's lives before she ruin them.

However things only gotten interested when Tanya arrived and told Ashley _"She's gonna be her new momma"_ and all hell broke loose as she threw a temper-tantrum.

Edward looked so lost and did not know what happen or how to react so I used he's jealous and the fact that he was denied his parentage from the beginning to get him to give Ashley a time out for her behavior. My reason behind this was not to punish Ashley but I knew it would get back to Bella and cause unnecessary drama between them both.

My plan did not even take long to be set in motion because 45 minutes later a very livid Bella was ringing his door bell.

Bella came into the living room with Ashley in her arms and I saw what looked to be one of those kiddy cellphones hanging out her back pocket.

Once her friend and Ashley were out of sight Bella laid it into Edward she had caught me off guard when she brought my name into the mix. That fucking little brat told her mother everything; _note to self: Whenever Ashley comes around accidently lose her phone and be careful what I say around her._

When Bella bitch slapped Tanya I was fucking happy because not it was something I could use against her but she did the one thing I wanted to do since I met Tanya but like I said before I not like Tanya but she's better for Edward than Bella.

When Bella stormed out taking the children with her without saying goodbye I just sat back and realized Bella doing most of the work in my revenge plan for me by her actions today.

My parents and Emmett laid into Edward about the way he discipline Ashley today for lashing out and they even agreed with Bella about how hurtful it would be for a parent to her a child ask them if they do not love them anymore also how Bella was right when she said Edward she understand that kind of pain because it's true to this day he could not call them Mom and dad.

Even when she does wrong my parents still fucking defend her FUCKKKKKK this bitch needs to get out of our lives ASAP.

Once it was just Edward and I in the living room I told Edward my plan and my opinions on the matter. Knowing Edward well I knew he blames himself for not getting a chance to not know his kids soon so I played on what I knew and kept throwing Bella's betrayal into his face.

Once I gotten back to my hotel I knew I was going to need help to bring Bella down so I dialed the one person that knew my secrets. He picked up the phone on the first ring

"_Alice Cullen to what do I owe the pleasure of this called?"_

"_How would you like to come to Chicago all expense paid to help me finally get my revenge?"_

"_Chicago Alice? Are you still on this plan of yours for some bullshit revenge? I mean I keeping your secret and all but your reasons are a bit juvenile and I would think after all these years you'll let it go by now the bitch ain't even in you guys lives anymore"_

"_You FUCKING owe me JB so if I was you I'll get my ass to Chicago before I inform you parole officer about all those violation of yours that'll land you back in the slammer for life"_

"_No need to get feisty but let's remember if I go down I'll inform your precious family that innocent little Alice is not so innocent, just like you cover your ass trust me Alice I cover me ass too."_

"_Look JB are you coming or not?_

"_Sure I'll come but what exactly is it I got to do?"_

"_Nothing really just use those charms of yours to worm your way into her life but I rather not discuss the rest of the plans over the phone because they're not set in stone yet and I still need to work Edward to part his part in her downfall. And I just know how you'll love nothing more to settle an old score with Edward because I know once my plan is set in motion she'll lash out on Edward and you can be there to pick up the pieces once her world falls apart."_

"_I love when you talk this way too me Alleycat."_

"_Oh JB if you can make it out here by tomorrow night and I'll show you what else I'm willing to do for revenge, I'll have a first class ticket waiting for you and if you know what's good for you you'll be on that flight."_

I didn't even give him a chance to respond before I hung up the phone.

Part one of my plan was in motion and I just had to work my charm on Edward for him to see my way is the only way to go.

And just too up the states I need to get into her friends good grace so when I'm through with her she has no one left on her side. I knew Emmett has a thing for her friend so I decided to have a little chat with Emmett to get him to pursue his interest in Rosalie and through his relationship with her I know I can work the Cullen charm on her brother.

Neither of them will know what hit them once I'm through with them especially Bella because she'll be left with no one because I know once I have my way with Jasper he'll be singing _"Bella Who?"_

**

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**a/n**

**So can you guys just feel the love Alice has for Bella LMAO**

**So how many of you thought Alice could be so Evil and how many of you think without know the rest of the things Alice done to Bella while in high school that she's redeemable?**

**Poor Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and Bella let the drama begin**

**And who the hell do you think JB is?**


	17. Funny How Time Flies By

**So last chapter you guys learn a very naughty secret of Alice and a mysterious person who Alice BELIEVES is the only one who knows her secret; one other person POSSIBLE knows it but that's only if they piece together missing information. This chapter can be seen as filler but it's vital to how deep Edward/Bella connection truly is if they just open their eyes. And it has a nice little surprise at the end.**

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**BPOV**

Get it together Bella there is no reason to be nervous this is only Edward and today can only go two ways. Option One we meet in the middle and work everything out in the best interest of our children or Option two we continue the shouting match that was going on last time we seen each other and get nothing accomplish but more unnecessary stress.

I would prefer option one but realistically I can see this meeting going either way.

When I had arrived at the restaurant Edward already had a somewhat private booth in the back already.

A smile appeared on his lips as I approach the table and I thought to myself this is a good sign _I hope?_

As I was sitting down our waitress appeared and she did not look all to please to see that the person Edward been waiting for was a female. I could just feel the jealousy pouring off of her as she blatantly ignored me to ask Edward she could start him off with his drink.

I sighed internally thinking _if only you knew chick._

Edward ended up ordering a coke for himself and he motion his hand to me but before I could answer he said _"she'll have a pink lemonade with a splash of grenadine"_

I could not control the smile that appeared across my lips and before I could stop myself the words already escaped my mouth

"_You Remember"_ It wasn't a question but a statement of shock

A moment of awkward silence formed between us as I guess he realized what he just did but even with that small little gesture by remembering something so simple as how I like my drink gave me a small sense of hope; that no matter how mad he appears to be at me a part of him is still my Edward the one that saw into my soul during my most vulnerable moments.

Edward cleared his throat and finally said _"Yeah well you always had taste in the weirdest of drinks and some things are hard to forget"_

All I did was give him a small smile as the waitress reappeared with our drinks and taking our food order.

When she disappeared to put in our lunch order I broach the topic that might change the friendliness that was happen now.

"_So about the order day"_ I trailed off.

And at the same time we both spoken the same two words _"I'm Sorry"_

We both laughed nervously and I motion him to continue.

"_Look Bella this whole parenting thing is new to me and I really want a change to work this out and to build a relationship with our children, also I owe both you and Ashley an apology for mine and Tanya actions. The last two weeks I've been wrecking my mind of everything that happen and feared that since you didn't let the kids say goodbye to me or that I didn't hear from you during the course of the two weeks that you decided you didn't want me in their lives. I'm going to be completely honest with you when I say that thought only scared me because I felt I was losing them again without even getting a chance to know them but my family kept telling me to give you time because a lot of things that were said were hurtful."_

I just looked at him seeing the sincerity in his eyes before I proceeded to talk.

"_Edward I owe you an apology for so many things especially for my part in you being new to this whole parenting thing but before I proceeded I want to express that it seems like I'm always apologizing for that and seriously Edward I know I cannot apologize enough when it comes to that; however I'm not going to apologize for that anymore because we'll never move past it. I know it'll take time for you to forgive me but do you understand where I coming from with this?"_

Edward looked at me nodding his head _"yeah I know what you're trying to say Bella and I'm sorry if I make you feel like you constantly need to apologize for me being new to this."_

I gave him another small smile before I continued

"_About the whole not contacting you for two weeks that was wrong on my part and I give you my sincerest apologies because just like you're new to the whole parenting thing I'm new to the whole having another parent involve in their lives as well. My actions were purely selfish because I was hurting by what happen that day but after some talking with Rosalie I came to realize 'so what if I was hurt' this whole situation is bigger than you and I or my feelings."_

Edward was about to interrupt me but I just held up my hand motioning for him to let me finish.

"_What I'm trying to say when it comes to what's going on"_ I said while motioning my hands between him and I- implying us _"We have to put that aside and think of our children first and how our action and behavior affects them because their good at picking up these sort of things especially Ashley. The last thing they need is for them to believe mommy and daddy are fighting because of them. I won't put them through what my parents did to me with all the fighting and feelings of thinking you're unwanted and not loved." _My voice cracked on that last part and I could sense tears forming but I pushed them aside.

Edward reached across the table grabbing my hand and squeezing it in a reassuring way saying _"I understand completely"_ just as our waitress appeared with our meals.

As we were eating our meals I thought about something I wanted to address with him _"Oh by the way, I know you new with the whole parenting thing but if you need advice with it or about appropriate punishment and what not talk to me first; and if you do not feel comfortable asking me for advice seek it out from Carlisle and Esme or people that actually have parenting skills unlike Alice or Tanya. And before you misread what I just said I'm not trying to judge them but until they have children of their own I rather they not give you advice on what's good or appropriate for __**OUR **__children."_

He laughed nervously while running his hands through his hair.

During the course of our meal we talked animatedly and I couldn't help but to feel as I looked across the table that we've been transform to Bella and Edward our younger selves as conversation flowed so freely and as we laughed and joked with one another.

We ended up ordering dessert and I couldn't help but to feel that neither of us wanted to leave each other's company just yet or at least that's the way I was feeling.

As we waited for our dessert to come he notice the folder I had on the table

"_What are those?"_

I had completely forgotten all about the folder too geez why when I'm with him I become forgetful

"_Oh these are the kid's school and extracurricular activities schedule I brought copies thinking you'll like to have them."_

I slid the folder towards him so he could look through it

"_It also contains a list of their individual allergies Ashley's is type in red and AJ in green. Also I don't know of you want to do this with them but I have days set up with them known as twin days where all three of us do something they both choose to do; then there are days known as mommy and me days which focus on their individuality. I put of copy of our calendar in there for you encase you want to join us on twin days or if you decide to do something like this."_

He just looked over each paper that was pulled out the folder and as he looked through each I saw his infamous crooked smile in play across his lips

"_Wow Bella when it comes to those two you're really one point."_

I just smiled at him nodding my head in agreement

"_In all honesty Edward they're my life and I do not know where I would be without them and they're also the first of many things I've actually done right in life. When I learned I was pregnant I thought I was gonna be a failure at it because of the things I went through with my parents. But as soon as I held them in my arms I vowed to do everything in my power to make sure their childhood is nothing like the one I had. And I want them to know they're loved no matter what and not so sort of obligation I was just given in life. Edward I know I messed up by not letting you in the life sooner but I really hope we can get past that one day because they're going to need both of us in their lives. Also don't lose faith in gaining progress with Ashley trust me she'll come around."_

"_How do you know that? She barely even talks to me."_ He asked me

"_Because I know our daughter well"_ I responded as I reached into my purse to pull out something for him.

"_Also because of this, she made this in arts and craft on Monday at school."_

Edward looked at Ashley's drawing and smiled. I wasn't sure at first if I wanted to show him because the picture she drew as her teacher said was based on what she thought her family portrait was and Ashley drew a picture with both Edward, myself, jasper, Angela, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme.

The only reason I showed him was because he needed some reassurances that Ashley cares and thinks about him even though she does not show it. However my little angel could careless for Alice and when I asked her why she did not put Alice in the picture she just looked up at me and say because she reminds me of the evil Disney fairy Maleficent. I wanted to laugh out loud when she said it but I did not want to encourage her dislike for Alice even though I cannot stand her; but I kept those thoughts to myself and I believe Edward was so caught up in the fact that she drew him that he didn't even notice Alice was not in the picture.

"_Thank you for this Bella"_

"_No need to thank me Edward. Hey are you busy later this evening?"_

I looked warily as I ask the question before answering

"_No why?"_

"_Well tonight is one of 'The Twin Day' activities and we're going out for pizza and bowling care to join us? I know it'll make their day."_

"_Sure what time should I meet you guys?"_

I was about to respond when my cell phone rung, I pulled it out and saw Rosalie was calling.

I looked up to Edward and said "Do you mind?"

When he shook his head no I answered my phone

"_Hey Rose what's up?"_

"_Belly where are you?"_

"_Remember I told you I was having lunch with Edward today" _I said with a smile while looking across at him.

"_Yeah I know that but that was at 11:30, do you realize that was over 4 hours ago?"_

My eyes got wide as I took in this information and looked at my watch.

Oh shit why did the time go?

"_Shit Rose"_

"_You're lucky today was my day to pick up the kids. Any who I was really calling to make sure you were alright because you said you would call after lunch and it has been 4 hours and I did not hear from you. I guess time flew by for you both without you guys not even noticing it."_

"_God Rose thanks for calling what would I do without you?"_

"_I don't know but I want full details on what's been going on during 'the Belly and Eddie show' that 4 hours slipped by you guys did not notice like you both had no care in the world."_

"_Listen Rose I'll talk to you in a bit okay give my kiddies my love."_

After hanging up with Rose a sigh escaped my lips

"_Is everything alright?" _Edward asked

"_Oh yeah everything is fine however did you realize we've been here for 4 hours?"_

Edward looked at his watch and seems as shock as I was before speaking up

"_Time flies by quick when you're in good company I guess"_

I smiled at his words.

We both went to grab the bill to pay for it.

"_No it's on me Edward"_

Edward smiled at me before shaking his head no and slipping his credit card to the waitress

"_What kind of gentleman would I be if I allowed you to pay?"_

I tried to come across seriously as I narrowed my eyes at him but my laughter gave me away.

"_Fine you can pay for lunch but no funny business tonight mister 'Twin Day' is all on me got it?"_

As we got up from the table Edward pulled me into a hug.

I was in sheer bliss but just as I was moving to kiss him on the cheek Edward turned his head and I ended up kissing him on the lips and what completely shocked me was that he kissed me back.

This was no peck on the lips nor was it any sort of grand make out session but boy was it something even though it was short.

We pulled apart from each other a bit awkwardly and I know my face was various shades of red as I began stuttering on my words.

"_Um… I…Um… sorry about that I went to kiss you cheek and you turned your head."_

Edward ran his hand through his hair before apologizing and mumbling "_I'm sorry and I…Um... meet you late for the twin day activity"_ before walking away leaving me in shock with my fingers press against my lips with the only thoughts going through my mind was _'wow and damn his lips are so soft.'_

When my brain started functioning normal again I thought _'I hope things tonight are not going to be weird on our outing with the kids'_

As I slowly made it back to my car when I felt my inner voice said 'boy you got it bad' but I dismissed those thoughts because thoughts like those meant trouble and I just shrugged the kiss off as an accident.

But god did that simply kiss got me feeling so alive.

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**A/N**

**How many of you saw that one coming?**

**However don't get your hopes up Edward and Bella still got some ways to go but I'm with Rosalie on this one How does 4 hours goes by and neither one notice it?**

**Next chapter will be up later this evening**


	18. Twin Day

**I wasn't going to originally write about this but after a review from Miss Reid I decided I should do one more chapter of the cuteness that is Bella and Edward before all the angst comes in. So as a treat here is "Twin Day" showing what a loving unit the four of them is together. On a plus side the original chapter 18 will now be Chapter 19 and you'll still get that one today as well. 3 updates in one day I must really love you guys. Cheers**

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**BPOV**

I walked into Rose's house and shouted _"Where are my missing Angels?"_

No sooner as the words left my mouth I heard the patter of little feet coming towards me.

_"Mommy"_ they both called out in unison as I dropped down on my knees to hug them both and to give them each Eskimo kisses.

"_Have you guys been behaving for Auntie Rose?"_ They both nod their head yes before skipping back into the living room.

As soon as I walked in Rose looked at me and just blurred out _"You're glowing what gives"_

_"Well hello to you too Rosalie my day was fine thank you much for asking and how was yours?"_

Rose just laughed before raising and clearing up the kids snack dishes. I took that as my queue to follow her.

I barely even set my foot into the kitchen when she let out her query

_"Jesus belly I swear if I didn't know any better by the way you were glowing when you walked in here I'll believe that you guys had each other for love. So what gives?"_

I began thinking what happened earlier and must have been blushing.

_"Oh my god you hussy something did happen between to you guys. Did the born again virgin finally get laid again"_

Stupid fucking blushes...

_"Har Har Rose"_

_"Okay all jokes aside how did things go?"_

_"Things went extremely well and he's joining the kids and me for twin day activities."_

I paused taking a deep breath before rambling extremely fast

_"Ohyeahandweaccidentlysharedakiss"_

She stopped what she was doing to face me to process what I just said before gawking at me with her mouth wide open before composing herself.

_"I'm sorry come again because there is no such thing as an accidental kiss" she squeaked_

"_Rosalie"_ I scold her _"Keep your voice down"_ I said glancing towards the direction of the kids.

She just leaned up against her counter with her arms across on her chest and the expression on her face stating for me to explain.

"_It truly was an accident once and it meant absolutely nothing"_ I countered

Rose still was not buying my lame attempt of what happened as she raised an eyebrow with an expression that read _'oh really tell that to someone who'll believe it'_

"_Look after I got off the phone with you Edward pulled me into a hug and I went to kiss him on the cheek and he ended up turning his head just as I did it; so instead of kissing him on the cheeks I ended up kissing him on the lips. Before you ask yes he returned the kiss, it was closed mouth though and yes I enjoyed it but it means absolutely nothing okay it was an accident."_

Rose relaxed her position and just shook her head at me

"_Oh Belly Denial is such a beautiful thing you know. You can keep trying to sell yourself on that bullshit that it meant nothing but your eyes are singing a different tune. I know your feelings run deep for him and right about know it's safe to assume he has some lingering feelings for you as well because an accidental kiss would of just turned out to be a peck on the lips but the fact that the kiss was returned means so much more. Maybe you'll were just caught up in the moment but promise me to be careful around him and no more of these 'accidental kisses' because in the end I do not want to see you get hurt; after all he is a man whom engage to another woman."_

I just looked up at Rose with sad eyes because she was right my feelings for Edward do run deep and after all these years I now know what he must of felt like for him to love me and have me deny feelings towards me; funny how the roles has change.

"_I know Rose trust me I know"_ I said nervously as I bit my bottom lip as I considered how to word my next comment

"_That's why I decided it might be time to actually put myself out there. I don't want my children to see me pining after a man I cannot have plus it's not healthy just like you said he's engage to be married even though the woman is a bitch; however my time has passed and I know it's going to take awhile but maybe it's time for my heart to let go."_

After saying those words I felt my heartache against the betrayal of my mind. Could I really let him go? Was there some meaning behind that kiss or is it just wishful thinking on my part.

Edward is apparently happy with Tanya so why so I not find happiness as well even though I know I could never love someone as unconditionally as I do Edward.

"_Wow Bells you must have really been thinking about this a lot lately and I'm glad you want to put yourself out there but before you do please make sure it's for all the right reasons. Oh and promise me one thing when you finally decide you're ready to put yourself out there without any qualms that you stay true your heart and don't rush into anything just to attempt to moving on quickly."_

I just nod my head because I knew had I spoken my voice would have come out weak.

I swear my mind just commit the blackest of blasphemy against my heart.

After making sure my emotions were somewhat in control and not visible under the watchful eyes of my kids I went back into the living room and joined them.

"_Hey Angels why don't we get ready to live mommy has a surprise for you guys before we start 'Twin Day' so go say goodbye to Auntie Rose and we'll head home to change were you guys will get your surprise okay."_

I swear said the words surprise to children and their whole face lights it.

As we were heading out Rose's door I called out to her _"Hey Rose"_

"_Yeah Bells"_

"_Enjoy your date with Emmett and let's set-up for next Saturday this whole bonding thing with Alice."_

"_Oh I most definitely will be enjoying my date tonight with Em" _she laughed suggestively and I just shook my head shutting the door behind me.

--

By the time the kids had finished changing Edward had already arrived and was waiting in the living room for them to appear. AJ's face had lighted up at the sight of him and he rushed over to give him a hug and Ashley well did not look too please to see him.

After finishing hugging AJ Edward walked over to Ashley and knelt down in front of her. They both actually rubbed their hands through their hair at the same time and I couldn't help but to smile and think how cute it was they have the same nervous habits.

Edward finally spoke up as he knelt down before her _"Hey Ashley would it be alright if you and I talk privately before we leave?"_

Ashley nod her head yes.

"_Hey AJ let's go out to the car so that we can give them some privacy okay?"_

I smiled reassuringly at Edward because I knew what he was about to do.

AJ and I sat on the porch steps as we waited for Ashley and Edward to finish talked. While we waited I ask AJ how he felt about his surprise and it truly warmed my heart to know how much he accepted Edward into his life.

Five minutes later Ashley and Edward came outside as the kids went to the car and gotten into their booster seats I whispered to Edward _"how did it go?"_

I smiled at me and said _"as well as can be expected plus she accepted my apology."_

As I went to approach the driver side of the car Edward had stopped me _"I was wondering if you don't mind it I drive also before we go to the bowling Alley there is the street carnival going on and I wanted to know could we take them there for a bit."_

I just tossed my keys at him and said _"sure."_

The ride to the street carnival was silent between Edward and I as we just smiled listening to the kids sing along to the Disney movie playing.

Once Edward had found a parking spot we all gotten out the car and as I was about to grab Ashley's hand I saw her small hand reach out to tug against Edward's jacket pocket to get his attention. Once he looked down upon her a small genuine smile came across her face and she place her hand into his.

You'd swear by looking at Edward that he just won the friggin lottery or something and I guess in some way he did just win something because that small gesture from Ashley was her way of opening up.

As we walked through the street carnival the kids got various balloon animals and as we were getting ready to head back to the car to go to the bowling alley they wanted to stop to get face painting done.

I was debating whether to allow it when Edward lifted them both up and all three of them pouted at the same time _"Please mommy can we?"_

I just laughed a hearty laugh at this exchange and thought how could I say no to those three faces so I just nodded my head yes.

Edward put the kids down and we were waiting in line for them to get their face painted as we were waiting woman approached us and tapped me on the shoulders and saying _"you and your husband have such adorable children would you like your pictures taken?"_

I was about to correct her when Edward grabbed me around the waist and said _"That's a lovely idea right Bells?"_

I just smiled at this as Edward picked up Ashley while as well in one hand and he wrapped his free arm around my waist again as we took our first family picture.

My heart swelled at this gesture from Edward and the fact that he choose not to correct the woman's assumption but as quickly as those feelings presented themselves I shot them down rationalizing that he only doing this for the kids to make them happy that mommy and daddy are getting along.

_If I keep telling myself that I'll believe it eventually right? _

Once having our pictures taken I told Edward he should keep the copy so that he'll have his first picture of him and the kids. Edward looked at the picture with some emotion I could not fathom but I swore as he continued to look at it I saw longing and happiness.

Once the kids and Edward first getting their face painted on we all headed back to the car so we could continue with our other activities.

Once we arrive at the bowling alley we still had the comfortable and happy flow between us all. To anyone looking in at us from the outside you would think we were this happy couple enjoying an outing with our children and those thoughts sadden because this is how it should be between us but life happen so I can't cry over spoilt milk can I?

As the kids bowled with kiddy bumpers Edward and I just laughed, talked and enjoyed one another company more and it gave me hope that no matter what we could put all our differences aside and present a united front amongst our children so they'll always feel love by both of us.

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**Aren't they just the cutest?**


	19. The Bigger Person

**BPOV**

FUCKKKK

Why am I doing this again?

Oh yeah because I told Rose I'll be the bigger person and support this so call _"relationship"_ between Alice and Jasper. Can I really put all my difference aside with her? I mean I did it growing up and kept everything on the inside by not telling anyone about all the horrible things she done for the sake of my friendship with Edward.

The only reason I kept my mouth shut back then was because I already caused enough stress back then within the Cullen household and I did not want to lose the only person who understood and cared for me.

Funny even with me still being quiet I lost him regardless.

Part of the conversation I had with Edward during our twin day activity with the kids kept running through my mind and for some reason it didn't sit right with me because it had me second guessing myself and my instincts told me something was fishy.

_**-Flashback-**_

"_Rosalie wants to throw a social for Alice and I to reconnect since her and Jasper been out on a few dates"_

"_How do you feel about that? I know when we were younger you both didn't have much of a friendship but then again you never were the one to have female friends because you always say they were too catty for your liking and a bunch of backstabbing bitches"_

I just nodded my head in agreement thinking _'if only you knew.'_

What I wanted to say was _"Well Edward, Alice is a fucking backstabbing harpy who will probably kill her own offspring if given a chance so I rather her not be dating Jasper or anywhere near our children for that matter" _But no I wanted today to remain on a positive not so I just went with half truths.

"_Well your right I never cared for female friends back then but you know times change people change after all Jasper and Alice are both consenting adults so if she makes him happy them I'm happy. However I will say that Jasper is extremely important to me and the kids so I'm not really too comfortable with a relationship brewing between them because god forbid something happens and it'll cause problems I don't want to choose sides."_

Well that was technically a lie because I know I'll choose Jasper side in a heartbeat; now if it was choosing between Jasper and Edward…….Stop Bella don't even entertain that thought.

"_Look Bella I know I don't know or fully understand why you and Alice never got along as well as you and I however you must know Alice truly cares about you. Once I realized that I misunderstood things that day Alice was a rock in the efforts of finding you. _

_She joined forces with the P.I I'd hired and put all her efforts into finding you. You know Alice said once that with you now around anymore back then she felt like she lost her big sister. I know she may have never showed it but she really does care about you and I agree with Rose you guys need to reconnect."_

Did I just enter an episode of the Twilight Zone or something? My bullshit radar is malfunctioning because no way in God's green earth Alice every felt that way about me.

"_Are we talking about the same Mary Alice?"_

Edward let out a humorous laugh and nodded his head yes

"_Wait you hired a P.I to find me?"_

Edward's eyes had gotten a hint of sadness to them.

"_Yeah he was supposedly the best at what he does and even with all our help he still couldn't find you. It was like you disappeared off the face of the earth and after a year without any results well…um…"_

Edward paused taking a shaky breathe

"_He told us it was likely you were dead"_

I was completely speechless and truly did not know what to say. I wanted to say I was sorry especially for putting Edward through the torture of believing I was dead."

"_Edward… I…"_

"_Bella it's ok, because apparently he was wrong thank god nor was he the best at what he does because her you sit after all these years. The funny thing about this though was Chicago was one of the places on the list I had given him of where you possibly would be. I remember Chicago being one of the places after you dropped out of college that you said you fell in love with because of the great people you met. To tell you the truth it was partially the reason why I moved here in the beginning._

_I had to get away from Washington it had held so many memories and you were always searching for yourself back then and a place to call home so I decided it was finally time for me to stop running to come back home to the place I was born. Plus I felt in some way by me moving back to Chicago I would be honoring your memory because this was the one place you were truly happy."_

Edward's words gave me a lot to think about and it made me wish I realized sooner in life that everything I already wanted was right there in front of me and that I was already home but wishing for those things would change the direction my life took and would mean things would of happen differently. Hell if I realized my feelings in for him in High School I would of never met Rose, Jasper and Angela; there is also the possibility that I would have never had my children because it was my blindness that lead up to all these things happening.

Something about the P.I though was not sitting right with me especially if Edward said he mention to this P.I that I may possibly be in Chicago

"_I wonder"_

"_You wonder what Bella?"_

Crap did I say that out loud

"_I was just thinking how that P.I turned up a dead-end here in Chicago it wasn't like I was hiding or anything. Actually come to think about it a few months after I first moved here I had a friggin stalker. At first I thought I was just being paranoid because I always thought someone was following me but then I started noticing this same car everywhere I went._

_The day of my baby shower I thought saw this man taking pictures of me so Jasper confronted him and ended up he was taking pictures of the fountain I was standing near so I just shook everything off as fear from my past and weird pregnancy hormones."_

"_Well I glad it was nothing serious and I sure had that been Jenks who was following you around this reunion would of happen ages ago."_

_**-End of Flashback-**_

The doorbell rung pulling me out my thoughts okay Bella time to go to your happy place and remember you're being the bigger person and that this is for Jasper.

"_Alice, come in I see you found my place okay"_

"_Wow Bella this is a nice neighborhood you live this place must cause you a fortune to rent." I didn't know whether to take her comment as an insult or compliment because I know growing up she always thought less of me and that I was beneath her._

"_Actually I own this house"_

She just nodded her head and reached into her bag for something _"Oh before I forget I brought you something."_

You've got to be fucking kidding me I swear she's trying to get me to drink

"_Oh Alice you should have" _She didn't catch my sarcasm lucky

"_Oh nonsense Bella you know us Cullen's never come empty handed plus we can enjoy this with our girl's night tonight."_

"_Well I just put this aside so you, Rose and Angela could enjoy this later."_

Alice pouted _"What about you it's not a girl's nite if we all do not enjoy it. Is it not to your liking because I can run to the store and get a different kind?"_

I just thought to myself what her fucking angle is and seriously I have children that pouting crap hardly even works for them.

"_Oh I thought Edward would have told you, I don't drink any more nor do I allow liquor into my house but if it's make you happy I'll make a virgin batch of margaritas."_

"_Oh I truly sorry I didn't know"_ Alice appeared to look apologetic but her eyes did not match her facial expression or maybe it's just that I truly do not trust her. Seriously even if she didn't know who would bring alcohol to someone they know once had a drinking problem?

Why don't you go in the living room and make yourself comfortable Angela and Rose should be here soon.

"_Hey Bella"_

"_Yes Alice"_

"_Before the others get here could I ask you something because I'm curious about a few things?"_

"_Sure go ahead"_

"_Are you in love with Edward?"_

WHAT THE FUCK

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Well you it's just that I always thought Edward's love was unrequited so learning that you two slept with each other I wanted to know was it because you returned his feelings or was it just some sort of booty call thing you two had together. Plus I want to know where your feelings stand now because Edward finally has what he never got from you in his life and I'm not trying to be a bitch but you hurt him badly in the past; so I'm just looking out for his best interest and want to make sure he remains happy and that you're not using your children to get back in his life. I won't let him go through that kind of hurt again Bella."_

That fucking bitch Oh my fucking god I just want to jump over the couch and ring this bitches neck…..

Concern about Edward my ass this bitch is out for something and made me wonder if Edward told her about our _'accidental'_ kiss….

"_I appreciate your concern and all but really Alice let's cut the bullshit alright. I know back then you did not like me much but I'm trying to put all that aside for the sake of whatever is going on between you and Jasper."_

Breathe Bella remember you're being the bigger person here

"_Look Alice what Edward and I once shared will always hold a special place in my heart and I will not let you or anyone lessen it to something cheap as a booty call. I always will love Edward because he gave me the greatest gift ever which is my children and I understand you want to protect Edward from getting hurt but if you ever voice accusations about me using my children to get into Edward's life so help me god I will fucking hurt you. And while we're on the subject of hurting people if I find out your reason of being with Jasper is anything less than noble you'll regret. I'm not the same person you once knew nor am I…..."_

But I was interrupted what I was going to say by Rosalie calling out to me _"Bells we're here"_

Rose came into the living room quirking her eyebrow at the scene before her and I just shrugged my shoulders as I reached out to hug her and whisper into her ear

"_Just making sure we're on the same page"_ before pulling away and winking

After pulling away from Rose I pulled Angela into a hug and proceeded to introduce her and Alice.

"_Alice this is another one of my closest friends Angela"_

I just smiled at the look of recognition that came over Alice face during the introduction of Angela apparently Jasper told her. Oh joy this evening is going to be so much fun.

The evening actually went on pretty enjoyable both Rosalie and Angela seem to get along with Alice pretty well.

Part of my was jealous how everyone in my life accepted her so easily even though I knew Rosalie had a sneaky feeling about her just like I did.

We told stories about the kids mainly and every now and then Alice would ask a question about my personal life which if you ask me she seemed just a tad bit too interested in it.

Eventually I guess it was eating away at Alice or maybe it was the 5th margarita she had talking _(which I might add she was the only one drinking them my friends tend to not like to drink when am around even though I insist that they should but they always shrug saying if one of us cant neither of us will if the one that can't do something is presence) _when she blurted out to Angela

"_I hope I'm not making you feel uncomfortable?"_

I just smiled at the exchange going on between them because even though I did not know the extent of Alice and Jasper relationship I could sense she felt threaten by Angela involvement in his life by her questions.

"_Why would I feel uncomfortable?"_ Angela replied

Alice just shrugged before saying_ "Well from what I heard you were like his childhood sweetheart, high school sweetheart and all that good stuff; and well I dating him now so I just didn't want you to feel weird or anything." _She trailed off looking deep in thought

I cannot speak for the others but I gather what the silence on the end of her statement lead too.

"_Alice you have to understand the split between Jasper and I was neutral, we both wanted different things after high school and neither of us wanted to deal with long distance relationships. However just because we broke up does not mean we throw away all those years of friendship we built between us. As you know Rose, Jasper and I knew each other since we were in diapers pretty much, you just don't throw away something like that. To answer your question though how I do not feel uncomfortable with you here is because we're all adults her and I want nothing but Jasper's happiness no matter who it's with plus I believe in fate if things were meant to be between us it would've worked out years ago but I will warn you if you hurt him forget dealing with his hound of a sister you'll have to answer to me."_

Alice just nodded her head before turning her attention to me like what Angela just said meant nothing to her.

"_Hey Bella, would you mind if I stayed here tonight?_

I wanted to say yes but again I was being the bigger person and even though I did not want her staying any longer in my house I did not want her behind the wheel driving either.

So I just nodded my head yes and threw Rosalie under the bus after all it's her idea to be the bigger person

"_Sure Alice it's no problem, Rosalie was staying anyway because we have things to do in the morning"_

I looked over at Rosalie smirking.

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**A/N**

**Next Chapter I'll be jump about a month or so nothing major and we'll finally learn about Edward's big betrayal towards Bella.**

**I'm just want to forewarning you guys and that it's not pretty; the consequences from Edward's actions affects everyone. People will choose sides and this betrayal will ruin families and relationships also JB will be entering the picture very soon.**

**Any guess on what this Betrayal is?**

On a side note I do not normally do this but I wanted my readers to know especially the ones that write stories that I read your stuff too so I want to recommend two awesome stories from one of my readers _**edwardandbellabelong2gether **_PLEASE CHECK OUT HER STORIES BOTH ARE SOME REALLY GOOD ANGST

You're Not Sorry (Complete) and The Next Door Neighbors (In Progress) if you guys haven't read it yet you're in for a treat.


	20. The Betrayal PT1

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My apologies now because I know the hating feast is about to begin hard. Also this is a short chapter because it's a set-up for the next which will be the longest chapter I ever written and it will be from multiply point of views.

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**ACPOV**

Everything was going to plan and I had Bella to thank for it she played into my fucking plan without even knowing... After the incident at Edward's house and her not contacting was not hard to plant the seed of doubt into his mind. I swear he's so fucking gullible it's pathetic.

By the time Bella had contacted him it was too late (well that's what I told him) things were already set in motion.

However something had to happen during the day when the met up because the following day he was trying to back out of my plan.

I put too much work into this plan of mine so I'll be damn if I have him ruin it.

I guess guilty was eating away at him because what I learned through jasper. Apparently that stupid bitch thought after the lunch she and Edward had was so great that she thought things were going to be good between them. When I asked Jasper what exactly happened during the lunch to make her feel that way he just shrugged and said "that's just the impression I got, if you want details of what happen per say you'll have to ask Rose"

I just nodded my head me getting information from Rose would be a cold day in hell. I thought once her and Emmett started dating I could work her but the bitch is more loyal than a Saint Bernard.

Anyway Jasper said after that lunch and Edward going out on an outing with her and the kids her started acting awkward around her. So Bella being Bella and not wanting to add to his stress or issues he has with her set it up whenever Edward picked up the children Rosalie would always "seem" to have them on the days he picked them up and dropped them off.

Jasper didn't know it but the information he gave me I was using it to bring Bella down. It's funny how you can get the information you want from a man or make him turn against his own if your fucking and sucking him right.

I knew her sudden distant towards Edward was based off selfless principles after jasper told me but as I was discussing it with Edward I twisted things to the way "old Bella" used to do in order to control Edward from going against my plan; because in order for my plan to succeed I needed him to do his part.

He may of thought he was doing what was best for his children but I knew better it was all for the greater good of my scheme.

Now to implement part 2 of my plan I thought as I knock on the hotel suite door.

By the End of today Isabella Swan-Cullen or whatever the hell last name she goes by nowadays will not know what fucking hit her by the time I'm through with her; was my finally thought as I ended his suite to cement his part in my revenge.

**BPOV**

You ever woke up with the feeling that today is just not going to be your day? Well that's how I've been feeling all week actually, between Ashley coming down with a cold again, Edward's flaky behavior for the past few weeks since he joined up on the outing, to Alice odd friendliness and everyone else in my life in throwing their fucking blissful happy relationships in my damn face. Bitter much? Hell fucking yes.

Ever since I told Rosalie I wanted to move on and that it was finally time for me to let go of the one thing I can never have, I've been fucking miserable. I swear if it was not for my kids I would want to crawl into some godforsaken hole and die.

Even though I woke up with a feeling that today was going to be a shitty day I was actually looking forward to it because today was one of those "girl bonding days." Any other day I would be against these days because it means spending time with Cruella. However I was actually looking forward to it today because I needed to get out my funk.

Besides annoying the hell out of Alice by not letting the shit tends to throw at me on _"the sly"_ can brighten up anyone's day.

I pulled up to Angela's restaurant and as I walked in I notice Alice with her back to me on her cell. I walked by her not ready to acknowledge her just yet but as I was working by I heard bits of her conversation that peek my curiosity.

"_Yes we've discussed this already and you know what you got to do"_

Alice was silent listening to whatever the person she was on the line with was telling her. I know it was wrong to eavesdrop but I just couldn't help myself.

"_Yeah, Yeah I know and do not disappoint me its important things go as plan."_

I decided to just walk away because she really was saying nothing much that was too help so I went to the back to hang out with Angela until Rose arrived because the last thing I needed was to be alone with Alice.

About 15 minutes later the hostess phone the back office letting us know Rose had arrived. When I went out to join them Alice looked extremely excited about something and apparently I wasn't the only one whom noticed it because Rose asked her _"What's all the excitement about You got laid or something?"_

It I hadn't been paying so much attention to her I would've missed when Alice tensed up briefly and shifted her eyes my direction quickly before lamely saying _"She was just thinking about her and Jasper's plans for tonight"_

I just nodded my head dismissively as I looked over the menu.

Lunch was going on rather enjoyable as I listen intently to everything everyone was saying but something was not sitting right with me as I notice Alice become fidgety like she was anticipating something.

No sooner as I thought that a man appeared at our table clearing his throat saying _"Which one of you is Isabella Cullen?"_

I just looked up at the man saying I am and he gave me a slip to sign before handing me a rather large envelope and just walked away stating _"Have a nice day."_

I looked up at Alice and Rosalie and they both were looking at the retreating mans figure until Alice finally spoke up and said "Well that was weird"

All I could do was nod my head and I mumbled _"You can say that again"_ as I flipped over the envelope to open it.

Once the envelope was opened I pulled out the documents inside and my hands began to shake as I saw the heading of these documents

"_No it…it c-cant be t-tthis h hhas t-to b-be sort of mistake."_ I stuttered to myself mostly but I knew Rose and Alice heard me.

"_Bells what's wrong?"_

"_Bella"_

"_Isabella"_ Rosalie shout while snapping her fingers in front of my eyes bring me out of my stupor.

I just turned to look at Rose because I could not find my voice yet.

"_Is everything okay Bella? You're mumbling incoherently and zoning out."_

I just stared into her eyes before turning my attention to the papers I held tightly in my hands and prayed this was some sort of freakish nightmare because there is no way in hell what I read could be correct; my eyes is surely deceiving me right?

But no as I looked over the papers more slowly everything was there in black and white.

"_Bella you're worrying Rose and I are you okay?"_

My head snapped up at the sound of Alice voice to be met with her icy blue eyes and she looked completely curious by everything that's playing out before her but something was off in her eyes.

My eyes shifted back to Rosalie to read her expression and she too was curious and concern by my drastic mood change as she repeated again_ "Belly what's wrong?"_

But I ignored her as my brain try to process everything that just happened and as Alice called out my name again it was like I heard the click of everything falling into place as I LOOKED up into Alice's eyes.

Alice's excitement for today.

She Knew.

The snippets of her phone conversation I heard.

She Knew and is involved.

Alice's anticipation and nervousness right before the man arrived

She's Involved in this

That something that was has been off in her eyes

The unease feeling I got whenever Alice questioned me about my personally life lately.

_"You know this was going to happen didn't you?"_ I demanded through gritted teeth

She just looked at me in complete shock and say _"Bella I don't even know what you talking about?"_

But I saw her statement for what it was a motherfucking lie

_" You you fucking bitch you planned this with him didn't you?"_

She had the nerves to look appalled by my name calling.

_"Bella I truly do not know what you're talking about and quite frankly I'm disgusted by your name calling"_

"_Disgusted you're disgusted by my name calling. I'm disgusted by the very sight of you you fucking bitch" _I said raising my voice.

I knew I was making a fucking scene but I could of careless.

Rosalie elbow me mumbling _"remember bigger person Bells"_

"_Fuck being bigger person Rose."_ I snapped at her

She looked a bit taken back by my tone but I was beyond being pissed off or fucking livid.

"_Do you know what these papers are? I just was fucking served Rose."_ I said

I didn't even think as I stood up and started running my hands through my hair like a mad woman.

This really could not be fucking happening.

NO, EDWARD WOULDN'T DO THIS TO ME. I shouted in my head

It was Alice's voice that broke me out of my trance _"Bella seriously I do not know what I did that's got you so ticked off but I assure you I'm not involved in whatever it is you've think I've done."_ She sounded so fucking sincere.

I nodded my head and she thought I believed her as she reached over to give my hand a reassuring squeeze. However right as she was doing that I drew back my fist and punch her square in her fucking eye before shouting _"DON'T LIE TO ME YOU LYING BITCH"_

I was about to hit her again but Rose jump up and held me back.

I growled at Rose _"ROSALIE I DO NOT WANT TO HURT YOU BUT LET ME THE FUCK GO NOW"_

Rose just shook her head no as she wrapped her hands around my shaking form.

"_Bella what's gotten into you babes?"_

"_He's"_

"_Oh God Rose"_

"_This can't be happening"_

"_They… He…" _I said with a gut wrenching sob

Rose just ran soothing circles in my back saying _"Take a deep breath and tell me. I'm here for you Belly no matter what always."_ as I vaguely heard Angela asking Alice if she was okay?

"_He's suing me for Sole Legal Custody of my children stating am an unfit mother and requesting supervised visitation rights for me. And I'm pretty fucking sure this bitch is involved someho_w." I stated dryly.

_"Why Rose? Am i really that horrible of a person? Is what i've done so unforgivable that he has to punish me this way?"_

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**A/N**

**Okay how many of you hate me and saw this coming?**

**This is only the first half of it too there is more.**

**Next Chapter is going to be EXTREMELY LONG and you guys will finally learn JB identity.**

**I'm actually scared to put up Edward's POV with next chapter**


	21. The Betrayal Pt2

**Also I want to thank you guys for your positive reviews and outlook (HOORAY NO FLAMES)**

**The Chapter would have been out sooner but I had trouble writing EPOV**

**Just a note about Edward's POV: Being that it goes back a bit I did not want it to be redundant so I filled in the missing pieces that were not in Bella's POV; such as the phone call between them, his talks with Alice & family, he's view on the kiss, what he said to Ashley on Twin Day and so forth.**

*****JUST A HINT BELLA WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE BETRAYED IN THIS CHAPTER*****

**BPOV**

_"This can't be happening"_ I kept mumbling to myself.

It was my worst and only fear coming true the possibility of losing my children.

I looked up at Alice out of Rose's embrace and saw her nursing her swollen eye.

Good I thought myself however I felt it was unjust the bitch deserved more than a fucking black eye.

_"Why is she still here?"_ I said dryly to no one in particular

Before anyone could answer two uniform officers approached us.

Great could this day get anymore horrific

The officers looked between Rose, Alice, Angela and I taking in the situation before giving Alice their full attention.

_"Are you alright ma'am we got a call from a patron of the restaurant that a woman was getting assaulted I can assume that woman is you from your appearance and that one of these two ladies did it."_

The officer says motioning between Rosalie and me.

I definitely didn't want Rose getting in trouble for my actions so I decided to speak up but just as I was about to open my mouth Alice began to speak.

Great here it goes.

_"Officer I'm sorry you guys had to come down here but it's nothing but a misunderstanding between family."_

I looked at her with wide eyes. What the fuck is this bitch's angle? She has me right where she always wanted me at her fucking mercy.

And she choices to play this off as some sort of family dispute.

As I continued to look at her, her eyes flicker towards me and they carried some hidden emotion behind them; before she turned her attention back towards the officers.

_"Seriously officers I do not want to press charges. All I want is to put this behind me and enjoy the rest of my day_."

One of the officers nodded their head while the other began speaking _"That's very noble of you ma'am but are you sure that's what you want to do?"_

Alice kept her eyes on me as she answered the officer's question _"yes I'm certain clearly just a misunderstanding between my sister and I. Right Bells?"_

She said never losing eye contact with me and from her tone and expression I could tell she was egging me on and daring me to contradict her

Fucking manipulative bitch

I just nodded my head and put on a small smile and agreed with her.

The officers walked away and Alice opened her trap again.

_"See Bella I have nothing to do with what you accused me of because if I did I could of just had you fucking arrested for the shit you just pulled in here. But did I do that? No I didn't and you want to why? Because unlike what you may believe I really do care about and for the month I've been trying to mend this bridge between us for the sake of our family but no you doubted my actions thinking I have some sort of hidden agenda. God Bella I swear if it wasn't for your children, my family and the very fact that I may be falling in love with Jasper I would of had your fucking ass arrested because you need a god damn reality check because your too fucking paranoid. For the fucking record I do not agree with what Edward is doing but after your actions today maybe it's for the best because god forbids you lose your temper with them like you did with me because lord only knows what you'll do to them."_

I let her rant because they were just words. But on that last part I just had to lash out because of the on slaughter of memories from my abusive past...

_"You fucking bitch I would NEVER hurt my children"_

She knew where I came from and what I went through I could never cause or want to but any through that kind of hurt and pain.

_"Yeah whatever Bella I'm outta here"_ and she stormed out of the restaurant in an angry huff.

I looked between both my two friends and saw they both held grim expressions as Angela spoke up and said _"how about we take this to my office? C'mon Bells"_

Both her and Rosalie wrap their arms around me supporting me as we headed towards the office.

We sat down and no one said I word. I guess they were giving me time to process through everything that occurred today.

The silence and the thoughts running through my mind were killing me.

_"Do you guys think I'm being paranoid too?"_

They both looked very thoughtful and Rosalie was the first to talk

_"Bells I love you and I always believe to go with your instincts. Like I told you before babes I have my doubts too about her and after today she somewhat comforted at by the way she was acting. However what I don't understand is why she didn't have you arrested but on another note I cannot help to think you played into her hands by attacking her."_

I just nodded my head because even though Rose didn't say it I knew the moment I hit Alice I had fucked up.

This was all too much for me to deal with and I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown, which I did not want anyone to witness.

Hell my last emotional breakdown caused me to run into the arms of Edward and that in turned caused my children to be conceived.

_"Oh god"_ I cried out

_"Bells what's wrong?"_ called out both Rose and Angela.

All I could do was shaking my head because I didn't want to believe that the man I gave myself to completely and had his children was hurting me again.

It's like history is repeated itself again by him being the old to cause my fears to come true.

Growing up I told him he'll eventually get tired of being there for me and kicked me to the curve. But of course for years he denied it and when I finally realize I was in love with him like he was with me he kicked me to the curve.

That was the worst feeling ever but you know what I accepted it because I deserved it for all the years of pain I caused him.

Now 5 1/2 years later his bringing the only thing I fear the most to come true.

He wants to take away my babies from me.

_"My babies"_ I sobbed

Angela pulled me into a hug and whispered "_its okay Bells we'll fight this together. We won't let anyone take your children from you."_

Her words were comforting but she truly could not guarantee that and I refused to let false hope in. I did that once upon a time and my world shattered apart. I cannot NO I will NOT go through that again.

I needed to be alone so I could clear my mind.

As I stood grabbing my belongings, I turned to Rose asking her to pick up my kids and what over them for me tonight.

I didn't need them to see me like this

As I reached the door I heard the concern in her voice as she asked me _"are you sure you want to be alone right now?"_

I could not find my voice so I motioned my head yes and ran out of the restaurant towards my car crying.

I just sat in my car and let all my emotions out.

I truly do not know how long I sat there for all I know was that I was vaguely aware of a figure tapping on my car window but I paid them no mind as I rested my head on the steering wheel.

I heard the car door open and felt my weight being shifted as someone cradled me into their arms.

That was the last thing I remembered before giving into my exhaustion.

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**(A/n: Was gonna be evil and end this chapter here but I had a change of heart on how I wanted to end this chapter. EPOV starts from when Bella left Edwards house when she bitch slapped Tanya)**

**EPOV**

Well things just went fucking great today I thought to myself sarcastically.

_"EDWARD"_ Tanya screeched

All I to do is just look up at here because I was still reeling from the shock of Bella hitting her because this was a totally unnatural response for Bella. Well at least for the Bella I used to know.

_"Tell me you're not going let her get away with this and spare me the bullshit she's the mother of your child I want her arrested for assault"_

_"Tanya c'mon be reasonable. If you were in her shoes you'll do the same thing. Hell I've seen you lose you cool for less"_

Tanya just shook her head no

_"I will not stand by and let her insult or hit me nor will I let her dictate to you that I should not be around your children. For crying out loud we're engage to be married in a few short months. All she is doing is attempting to weasel her way back into your life and she is using those children."_

"_Bella is not like that Tanya and if she was then don't you think I would have found out about being a father sooner?"_

Tanya just stared at me shaking her head _"What is it with you always defending this girl whenever she does something wrong?"_

I went to answer her question but she silence me before I even had a chance to respond.

I just sunk into the couch once she left and began wallowing in my misery thinking _'what the hell do I do now?'_

Both Tanya and Alice believe I should file for full custody of my children because they believe Bella is flighty, neglectful, and a user. Granted she never told me that I was a parent but does that warrant me to take away her rights as a parent?

'_You're not children anymore nor are you her protector anymore. If anyone you should be protecting and defending it should be me for crying out loud I going to be your wife in a few months. And so help me god if you do not get your priorities in order Edward the wedding is off"_ She spat

I just looked at her stunned _"You… You do not mean that?"_

"_I love you Edward but I will not come second to her and as for as your children are concern I really hope you think over what Alice and I said because those children would be better off with you."_ She told me before leaving

After Tanya left I just sunk into the couch groaning can my life get any more complicated and should I take their advice and seek full custody of my children. I know Bella has her issues hell we all do but I observed her this morning with them and from what I gathered she puts their happiness before her own. How could I possible fault her for that?

But then again she did keep the fact that I was a father from me for over 5 ½ years. God this is just too frustrating to deal with.

Am I angry? _Yes_

Can I forgive her? _Eventually_

Can I trust that she'll never separate me from them now that I've met them? _I don't know_

Not know what to do I decided to call Bella because I knew there was plenty we have to talk about and I know I should give her time but I don't want this setting us back were the kids are concern.

I picked up my cell and began to dial her number however by the third ring I got her voicemail

'_Hey you've reach Bella leave a message'_

I didn't even bother leaving a message I just hung up and tried her house number. Her house phone rang 5 times before the machine came on

'_You've reach Bella, Ashley and AJ we're not home right now so leave a message'_

I just hung up again not even bothering leaving a message maybe it was too soon to call her I thought to myself as I got ready for bed.

-

The next morning I woke up with a better outlook and resolve on talking to Bella and making things work out between us for the sake of our children.

I decided I'll give her a call later this evening once I got off of work.

Throughout the day at work I kept thinking about all my options and I came to the conclusion that no matter what there was no way I would file for full custody of the kids. So far Bella has been nothing but open and understanding when it came to me seeing and spending time with them; so how could I possible do something like that to her?

Alice ending up calling me during the day wondering if I thought over the things that we had discuss and when I told her my resolve I heard the disappointment in her voice and she told me _"Edward you know I love Bella like a sister but you know how she gets when she's upset. Granted she's change but I will not be surprise if you don't hear from her anytime soon because you know that's just how she is especially if it took 5 ½ years for you to find out you're a father. Do you know what her actions will do to those children if she does that? They'll think it was you distancing yourself from them and they'll grow to resent one. You already have one child that dislikes you. Do you want the one that adores you to turn against you cause of her actions?"_

I was torn part of me felt that Alice was right and everything she said made sense but when I actually thing of doing something like that to Bella my heart couldn't fathom it. I could not cause her that kind of pain and how could I live with myself again if I hurt her once more. I was a shell of a person before after I first hurt her and I refuse to be that person again.

"_Alice it's only been a day why don't we just give Bella the benefit of that doubt. You haven't seen Bella interact with those kids and nor do you know what Bella and I discussed with one another. Those kids are her reason for living, getting clean, staying clean and her reason for stop hurting herself. She'll die for them so how could you ask me to do something like that to her?"_

_She sighed into the phone_

"_I'm just trying to lookout for your best interest Edward"_

"_I know Ali and I truly appreciate it look I have to go. We're still on for dinner tonight with the others right?"_

"_Yeah we're still on for tonight and Edward I know you'll never want to do anything to intentionally hurt Bella none of us would but plus do not dismiss this option at least keep it on the back burner for now"_

"_Sure Alice, talk to you later"_

When I gotten off of work I decided to call Bella before I met up with my family for dinner however yet again my call went straight to voicemail and I debated whether calling her back on a block number.

Seriously Bella was never the one for to hold a grudge against anyone. I know she was upset when she left my house but I doubt she'll go to the extremes in avoiding me after all we do have children together right?

However Alice's words kept playing themselves in my mind '_Granted she's change but I will not be surprise if you don't hear from her anytime soon_'

No Bella wouldn't do that she's just probably busy with the kids. I'll try calling her again after dinner.

Dinner with my family was pretty interesting.

With the whole finding Bella and my being a father they all decide to stay in Chicago till after the wedding which was in 4 months. That way they'll get to spend sometime getting to know my children and to reconnect with Bella again.

Esme was the first to broach the subject on if I spoken to Bella yet. When I told her know I saw the pointed look Alice was giving me. It was along the lines of _'I told ya so.'_

Esme and Carlisle had shared a look with one another before Carlisle began to speak _"Now Edward yesterday I remained very quiet and not voice my opinion in what went on but seriously things need to change. Now while I'm by no means condoning Bella slapping Tanya however after Tanya's blatant disrespect for her since the first time they met, both Esme and I feel if we were in Bella's shoes we would have responded the same way. Did you know Bella heard everything Tanya said that day in the Hallway? We had to sit by and watch Bella try to control herself from Tanya's harsh words. You have to put yourself in Bella's shoes Edward, anyone can look at her and realize that telling you was the hardest thing she could of done after all these years especially after what happen since the last time you guys saw one another._

_Now as far as you not hearing from Bella yet, I'm pleading with you do not do anything rash like you did the last time. Give Bella time because she's been through an emotional rollercoaster these last few days and probably even long than that because I'm sure the guilt of not telling you have been eating her up throughout the years."_

I just sat there absorbing everything Carlisle was saying.

Esme reached across the table and grabbed my hand. _"Another thing Edward, I know you and Tanya are getting married soon but you guys need to find some sort of common ground because if I was Bella I would never trust a woman like Tanya to be around my kids especially if she has no respect for me. You're a parent now and one of the most important things to know about being a parent is that your children come first. You children are not going to respect you or Tanya if they witness her disrespecting their mother; and Edward that's one lesson you do not want them to learn"_

"_Thanks I really appreciate all of you input in this matter. I know there is loads of things Bella and I have to work out that's why it frustrates me to no end that I haven't heard from her yet and that she appears to be avoiding my calls " _ And I truly did their words gave me a lot to think about.

"_Edward"_ Alice said trying to bet my attention however as I looked up to her Esme cut her off.

"_Seriously Alice your behavior yesterday was appalling. Ashley is a little girl and is entitle to her opinions on things on whether or not she enjoys fixing cars, playing sports, frolicking in mud or whatever the child decides to do in her free time. So you not liking that she doesn't like dress or shopping and all the things you do is uncalled for. Nor will I sit back and watch you mold that girl into a mini version of you. You attempted that with Bella as kids and look where it got the relationship between you two. I know your motto is to 'Save one fashion victim' at a time but no two people have the same taste or interest. Those differences are what make us who we are."_

I swear had I blinked as I looked up at Alice I would have missed the look of pure disgust that flash across her face before she composed herself. I just chalked it up to her not liking to get called out on her actions in front of all of us.

Emmett whom was quiet throughout dinner finally to voice his opinions to both Alice and I _"We just got Bella back in our lives and Alice from what I witness earlier today you seem pretty fond of her friend Jasper so for all our sakes give her time."_

Alice just stuck her tongue out at Emmett before teasingly saying _"You're just saying that so your chances with the lovely Rosalie is not ruined"_

Emmett had a faraway look and the cheesiest grin ever on his face as she said that.

It seems like I was not the only one shock with this news that both Alice and Emmett seem to have interest in Bella's friends.

"_You guys are involved with her friends?"_ Esme asked curiously

"_Well when everything was going on yesterday, you know how I went outside with little man. Rose ended up joining us outside with Ashley. Anyway we got the talking and I learned that it was Rose who got Ashley into like cars and all the good stuff; so she offered to show me around her garage today. There was no way I was gonna say no. Did you guys see how hot Rose is? And she knows her way around cars nor is she like one of those airhead blondes back in Forks."_

Emmett paused with a dreamy look in his eyes no doubt thinking about Rosalie before clearing his throat _"Anyway pixie here gave me a lift today and while I went to check out her garage. I thought Alice had left so you can imagine to my surprise when after being in the garage for 2 hours Alice was still out front talking to Rose's brother."_

Alice spoke up then _"Yeah and were going on a double date this Friday. I wanted to actually purpose it be a quad date with you and Tanya as well as Bella and her significant other that way we all could past the olive branch to one another and so that Tanya could get to know Bella."_

"_Bella doesn't date" _I said absentmindedly

Both Esme and Carlisle gave me this look while smiling amongst themselves like they something I did not know.

Alice had a weird edge in her voice when she replied to my comment _"How do you know that?"_

I just shrugged nonchalantly _"Bella mention to me while that day in the hotel while you guys step out that she doesn't date because she doesn't want the kids to get confused nor did she want someone stepping into their lives and replace my role as their father before they even gotten a chance to meet me."_

Everyone nodded their heads in understanding and I heard Alice mumbling something along the lines of _"well isn't that just noble of her"_

I knew Alice was still disappointed in the fact that Bella kept the truth from me and I appreciate her efforts but in reality all three of us (Alice, Bella and I) are to blame for the way things turned out.

"_While I'm glad you two found people to entertain yourselves while you're here. Please keep in mind Bella's feelings on the matter of you two getting involved with her friends. Because I would truly hate to see a fallout happen between you guys or worse between her and her friends or even between us and the children."_

Esme had a point and in all honest I was worried about them attempting to date her friends especially Alice when she's one of the people advising me to seek out full custody of my children.

I decided to bring up my thoughts on the matter later on because I knew at the moment Carlisle and Esme knew nothing of the whole custody thing and I'm sure they would not be too please to learn it was actually Alice's suggestion.

Shortly after dinner I decided to give Bella a call again and it went straight to voicemail yet again which turned out to be the same routine for the rest of the week straight into the weekend.

Slowly my decision on filing for full custody was wavering and I was starting to see Alice's stance on this.

It's been a week so far and I've yet to hear nothing from Bella.

And what makes the whole thing absolutely horrible was that I had to find out from Alice who found out through Jasper that Bella had to rush Ashley to the ER on Wednesday.

I get she's mad at me and everything else that occurred but don't I have a right to know my child ended up in the fucking ER?

That was the finally step in my resolve because it showed no matter what Bella only thought about her best interest and no one else's. I know Esme and Carlisle my not approve on what I'm about to do but I know they'll come around and support my decision eventually especially with Bella's flighty Behavior.

I was done play voicemail tag and had a new resolve in place. If Bella does not contact me by Thursday evening on Friday I'm going to meet with an attorney, and start the process of petition for full legal custody of my children.

-

Sure enough the rest of the week had gone by and I had yet to hear from Bella.

But as fate would have it just as I was leaving my attorney's office my cell without even glancing at the caller id I just answer it

"_Hello"_

I was greeted by silence for a moment until I heard the one voice I swore I would not hear from any time soon

"_Umm Hey Edward it's me Bella"_

"_To what do I owe the pleasure of you finally return my call?"_ I asked sarcastically

I heard her sigh heavily into the phone before responding

"_Look Edward, I do not need your sarcasm so I can hang up or we can talk about this like adults. So what's it gonna be?"_

I ran my fingers through my hair and began taking a deep breath to calm myself down a bit.

"_I sorry I just didn't expect to hear from you after all I've left over 20 voice messages and not to mention I have to find out from Alice that you rush Ashley to the ER"_ I didn't even realize I add a bit of harshness to my voice on the end

"_Edward"_ Bella sighed with a pause

"_It seems that all I do whenever I speak to you is apologize and I'm truly sorry for shutting you out these last two weeks but those things were extremely hurtful and I rather be in better control of my emotions because the last thing I want would be to lash out on you. I'm also sorry for not calling you when I rushed Ashley to the ER it was nothing serious, the doctor that saw her said it was nothing but a common cold. Also not that this is an excuse or anything but just like you're new to parenting I have to slowly getting over the fact that I'm not a single parent anymore. Anyways I do not want to hold you up or anything I just wanted to call to see if you wanted to meet up sometime during the week so that we can sit down and talk because we truly do have a lot to discuss. Plus I want to make this right between us. Where the kids are concern at least."_

"_Um how about we meet up Wednesday around 11?"_

"_That would actually work out perfectly for me we can meet at the diner down the street from my house if that's alright with you?"_

"_Yeah that'll be fine"_

"_Um… Edward?" Bella said hesitantly_

"_Yes Bella"_

"_Are you extremely busy right now?"_

"_No why?"_

"_Well when I told AJ I was going to call you today he became excited and wanted to talk to you so I just wanted to make sure that I was not interrupting any of your time so that you could talk to the kids freely."_

I smile at this revelation because I would of love nothing more than to talk to my children

"_I'm not busy. I would love to talk to them."_

"_Great. I'll go get them. Oh and Edward thank you for being so understand and giving me time to gather through my emotions."_

I felt like an ass when she said this knowing where I had just came from and what I had just set into motion. I could always just call and tell me attorney I changed my mind right?

"_Ah no problem Bella"_ I said casually

"_Anyways here's AJ and I'll see you on Wednesday"_

Talking to my kids was extremely enjoyable even though Ashley really didn't say much it was great nonetheless and it gave me insight into what's been going on in their lives for the past 2 weeks.

-

I'm not even going to lie and say I was not nervous knowing that today Bella and I would have to sit down and have a long talk. Part of me though was looking forward to just the prospect of Bella and I just sitting down to talk because this was something we hadn't done in awhile and I briefly wonder would it be awkward between us or would it be like how it was when we were younger.

What I wouldn't give for those days when everything just felt……

Right.

Between us.

During the course of lunch we had out brief awkward moments but eventually it was like something had transpired and it felt like we were Bella and Edward again.

The two people who was willing to face anything and anyone together.

And somewhere deep inside of me I knew that we would be okay eventually once everything was said and done.

When Bella pulled out the folder with everything pertaining to the kids daily activities, allergies_, 'Mommy and Me days'_ and _'Twin Days,'_ I just stared at her in reverence and it was in that moment I knew that I had to cancel what I set in motion two days ago.

When she showed me the picture Ashley had drew of what she thought was her family portrait was. I was truly amazed how talented also I was touch that she included me and my family into the picture. However it did not escape my notice that Ashley pretty much drew everyone except for Alice.

However I choice not to mention it because at this moment nothing else truly matter but our children and the little bubble that seem to block out the outside world from our conversations.

We truly had no concept of time when we sat down and talk.

I swear if it was not for her friend Rosalie calling we would of probably stay here and continue talking. It was like none of us was ready to like the atmosphere we created amongst ourselves.

I do not even know what came over me but as we got up from the table I just pulled her into a hug and it felt absolutely right. However the awkwardness did not happen from the hug. No the awkwardness that between us happen when I turned my head to face her and instead of her kissing me on the cheeks like she intended too. We ended up having a very sensual close mouthed kissed.

That kiss alone woke up so many things buried deep inside of me and it was like it ignited something that was missing in my life however that kiss was wrong and it was stolen.

No wanting to make things anymore awkward we both mumbled an apology and I walked away saying I'll meet up with her latterly for _'Twin Day'_

I shook my head in disbelief of what just happen and as I was turning out the door to leave something urge me to look behind me.

When I looked behind me I was stun to see that Bella stood there shellshock with her fingertips grazing over her lips and a lovely shade of red on her pale skin. For some reason alone that brought a smile to my face as I exit the restaurant.

Driving home instead of thing about how awkward tonight was going to be. I actually found myself looking forward to our little family outing.

As I pulled into my driveway I saw Tanya's car and groaned.

Fuck

I forgot we had plans for tonight when I had agreed to join Bella and the kids.

As I sat in my car staring at Tanya's car in my driveway. I realize I only had two options

Option one Cancel on Tanya and deal with her wrath

Option two Cancel on Bella and the kids, and deal with the disappointment that will surely follow

Fiancée or Kids?

GRRRRRRRRRR

As I got out of my car to head inside. I decided to go with the option that would weigh the heaviest on my heart if I were to cancel.

Tanya greeted my with a kiss once I entered the kitchen and began talking about how she left my suit hanging on the hook in my closet.

I cupped her face into my hands and sighed. _"Tanya baby I'm not going to be able to make it to your banquet for tonight" _

She pushed away from my embrace and shouted _"WHY THE HELL NOT?"_

"_Well it had slipped my mind when I agreed to spend time with my children later this evening."_ Knowing Tanya's aversion to Bella I thought it would be wise to leave out she'll be there as well.

Tanya just stared at me like I lost my mind "Can't you reschedule?"

I just shook my head no because that was the last thing I wanted to do.

"_This is their mothers doing I bet. Can't you see she's coming between us? God I cannot wait for you to have custody of those children so we do not have to deal with her anymore."_

Fuck I know there was something I was forgetting

"_Look Tanya, I know you have an issue with Bella"_

"_That's putting it mildly"_ she mumbling

I choose to ignore her comment and carry on with what I was saying _"But if we're going to work you're going have to find some common ground with her because she is the mother of my children. Also as far as the custody go. I believe doing that will be a mistake and only cause more unnecessary problems."_

"_You've got to be fucking kidding this woman did not contact you for two goddamn weeks nor did she tell you your child was in the hospital and now after having lunch with her you fucking change your mind on getting custody of your children. What the hell happen during this lunch to make you change your mind?"_

Great

Not like any good will come from saying _yeah lunch was so great that we would just lost within each other and at the end we shared a kiss that puts most of the kisses I had this life time to shame._ Yeah I could really see that one going over well with Tanya.

"_Nothing happen Tanya. We talked and meet up in the middle were the kids are concern. Right now they needs is going to be one of my priorities. With that being said I know that ripping them from their only home will not go over well. So I'm asking you as my fiancée the woman I want to spend my rest of my life with to understand and respect my decision and now I'm asking you as my lawyer to please when you go into work tomorrow to stop the petition for custody."_

Tanya just stared at me with her piercing gray eyes looking for something within my expression. I do not know what it was that she found but she slowly nodded her head and whispered before leaving _"Okay I'll take care of everything tomorrow and Edward promise me one thing please"_

"_Anything Tanya"_

"_Please do not let her come between us I just feel like I'm going to lose you to her and I know that somehow she's going to use your children to do it."_ Her eyes were pleading with me and I knew it was because of her insecurities that have her feeling this way.

"_Of course"_ I vowed kissing her before she left.

At least now some guilt has been lifted off my chest.

With the whole petition for custody not being in the equation anymore I knew nothing could ruin the progress I made with Bella earlier or what progress I would make tonight with my children.

However before this evening can go off without a hitch there was one thing I had to do, I've got to make things right with Ashley.

What the hell was I even thinking about when I wanted to petition for full custody of my children especially after Ashley's reaction to Tanya's inappropriate comment?

No I made the right decision today by changing my mind on the custody issue after all Bella was allowing me to see them freely. I'll just have to make sure to remind Tanya tomorrow not to file my petition.

-

When I arrived at Bella's the kids were upstairs getting ready so I just waited in the living room while Bella went upstairs to check on them. I was grateful that she was not acting awkward in my presence from the kiss we shared earlier.

I heard her call out to them from the staircase to hurry up because their surprise was waiting for them in the living room.

At the mention of surprise waiting for them I heard small feet running down the stairs and halted right in front of the threshold.

AJ looked pleasantly please to see me and Ashley was not upset but she was not cheer either with me being here.

AJ had rushed over to hug me and Ashley remained where she stood. After finish hugging AJ I walked over to Ashley and bent down in front her.

I was extremely nervous how to proceed with her especially with her aversion to being touch but I wanted to make things right between us.

"_Hey Ashley, would it be alright if you and I talk privately before we leave?"_

Ashley nodded her head yes and I looked up to Bell whom was smiling down at us as she gather AJ to go outside with her.

"_I owe you a big apology Ashley for what happen the last time we saw each other. Tanya was out of line for her comment about being your new mommy and I just want you to know that even though I'm marrying Tanya, She'll never ever replace your mother. Your mother is too special to be replaced._

_Also I want to apology for Alice being rude towards you. I would never want to change anything about you because that's what makes you special._

_I know we hardly know each other but I would really like to get to know you better and I know they'll be times that I do not know what I'm doing but I'm hoping you'll be very patient with me; and give me a chance?. "_

Ashley looked at to me and gave me a very genuine smile and said _"I would like that Edward"_

I know it was a small step but I was extremely happy with it.

As we walked out to the car, Ashley went and got into her seat and Bella had beamed up at me. I guess proud of my attempts to make things right with Ashley.

I ended driving Bella's car around and we made an extra stop to a street carnival before heading to the bowling alley.

During our time at the street carnival I just knew things we going to looking up for us especially when Ashley grabbed my hand once we had gotten out from the car.

She even allowed me to pick her up as Her, AJ and I begged Bella to get out face painted.

We truly did look like one big happy family. That's why I did not correct the photography when she assumed that because at least for today that's exactly what we're.

And if I was being honest with myself it all felt right.

The rest of our day was uneventful and we all enjoyed each other's company.

That day was truly my best day ever and one that I will always hold dear to me.

-

After that day things progress easily however Tanya was not company with the amount of time I was spending around Bella.

So to accommodate her I ended up trying to limit my time as much as possible with Bella even though I felt bad about it.

I do not know if Bella realize what I was doing but lately whenever I would pick up the kids they would seem to always be over at Rosalie's house without Bella in site.

When I asked Alice if she knew what was up with Bella she was under the impression that Bella was avoiding me for some reason and that I should keep an eye on things; because the last time Bella avoided things she ended up disappearing. So maybe this was her way of letting me spending times with the kids before disappearing again.

However I want to give Bella the Benefit of the doubt.

I wish I could say things were better after my talk with Alice however a few weeks later shit absolutely hit the fan.

On my day off I was relaxing at home when my doorbell ring.

It was a delivery man, so I signed for my package and when I opened the package the documents that I was staring at shocked the shit out of me

FUCK ME

I picked up my phone and immediately called Tanya.

"_Hey Baby how everything is?"_ She said so causally

"_How's everything Tanya seriously do you know what I have in my hands right now? Huh?"_

"_Well I'm not there so how would I know"_

"_Do not play coy with me Tanya. What the fuck am I doing with the petition I told you not to file in my hands?"_

Tanya remained extremely quiet

"_Well Tanya are you going to answer me?"_

"_Edward I'm so sorry it completely slipped my mind."_

"_Slipped your mind Tanya how can something like this slip your mind do you not understand how much damage this is going to cause. You know what I cannot even deal with you right now."_

I hung up on her and decided to head over to Bella's house to explain to this is one big misunderstanding and hopefully she'll understand.

However as I was opening up my front door the sight in front of me caused me to pause…

(**A/N- So who do you think is at Edward's door? You won't find out till his next chapter**)

**BPOV**

An annoying beeping noise woke me up out of my slumber.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness that surrounded me I looked around and realized I was in an unfamiliar room and bed.

Oh god please tell me I did not do anything stupid I thought to myself as I peeked under the blanket to make sure I was still fully clothed.

Once I saw that I was fully clothed still I began searching for the beeping noise that woke me out of my sleep.

I didn't have to search very far because the noise was coming from inside my purse which was on the nightstand of the unfamiliar bedroom.

Pulling out my cell phone I saw that I had over 30 miss calls and text messages all mainly from Jasper, Rosalie, Angela, Esme and Emmett.

I could not even bring myself to listen to the voicemails or to look at the text messages so I just tossed my cell back into my bag and let out a frustrated scream.

"_Oh I see you're awake now"_ A voice said from the door way startling me.

I looked up to the source of the voice with a panic and my breath caught in my throat.

Instead of asking the most reasonable question like _'who are you?' _

I asked _"Why am I here?"_

He motion for me to follow him and I was hesitated at first but I grabbed my belongings and followed him into what appeared to be the front room of his hotel suite.

He sat down in armchair and I sat on the couch closest to the door just in case I had to make a quick escape.

"_I was at the restaurant you where at earlier and saw you having an emotional breakdown in your car and I thought it would be safer if you did not drive so I brought you back to my hotel and let you get some rest."_

Right Emotional breakdown which was due to getting served custody papers by Ed…No I will not say that bastard's name I thought as traitorous tears ran down my cheeks.

The stranger past me a box of Kleenex and tried to offer me some comfort _"You know they say if you talk things out to someone not involve with your issues it helps to give you clarity"_

I just shook my head no

"_No I could not impose my problems unto you've already done too much plus my life is even too complicated for me to even unload it unto you."_

"_Look um…"_ He paused looking at me expectantly

Duh dodo brain your name

"_Bella"_ I said

He smiled when I said my name and I swore I heard him whisper _"beautiful"_

And I thought to myself like I haven't heard that pick up line before

"_Bella it truly will not be a bother and I'm sure I could keep up but I will not pressure you if you do not want to talk about it. It's just that….. And excuse my boldness on this but someone as lovely as you shouldn't seem so stress out as you were earlier nor should anyone put you in the state of vulnerability you were in. Whoever was the person that caused you so much distress again if I can be so bold that person is a complete idiot and asshole."_

"_I couldn't agree more"_ I mumbled mainly to myself

I looked in his eyes and debated whether or not to tell him but like he said sometimes it does take an outside perspective to see things a bit more clearly.

So I began to explain everything to him in regards to the whole custody bullshit and that manipulative bitch. I did not feel comfortable enough with him to reveal my past so I just told him my current issues.

And he just sat back and listened while I cried and monopolized the conversation.

When I finally finish letting everything out he didn't placate me by telling me _'don't worry Bella everything's gonna be okay' _

He told me "_I have a battle ahead of me and that I should remain strong and focus on what's important."_

He also said in times like these I should make sure I kept my friends close because in situations like these it never hurts to have as much support as necessary.

Talking to him came so easily and it brought some sort of peace to me

During the course of this my cell started going off again.

As I pulled it out I saw that it was Esme and decided against answering it because I couldn't deal with any of the Cullen's right now because I know Edward wouldn't have done something like this without all of their support.

This stranger and I continue talking for awhile but as the time went on I knew I couldn't avoid my issues and a responsibility anymore so I decided it was time to leave.

As I was getting up I realized something and turned to the stranger _"You must think I'm a complete idiot. Here I was unloading my issues to you and I never once even asked you what your name was"_

He looked at me and smiled

"_Jacob, Jacob Black"_

**A/N**

**See Edward is not that heartless well sort of anyways.**

**He's surrounded by manipulative women and just needs to grow a pair**

**I like this cliffy better than where I was going to originally end this chapter at**

**Yes plenty of you guess correctly **

**Within the next two chapters the battle lines are drawn and we learn which **_**RELATIONSHIPS **_**will be affected by this custody case. Also I may have 2 more chapters out for you guys before the end of the weekend**

The next chapter two chapters are called _**'The Battle lines are Drawn'**_ and _**'Motherly Advice'**_

**On a side note not related to this story I know many of my readers for this story have alerts for my other story Shattered Tears.**

**I just wanted you guys to know I DID NOT abandon that story it's just hard to write it because in that one I'm portraying Alice to be extremely caring if not motherly-like oppose to this story. However once I get to a certain point in this story I'll begin posting for the other story again.**

**I just want all the Alice drama out the way first.**

**Also once I start reposting for that story I'll be revising chapters too.**

**Until Next Time **


	22. The Battle Lines Are Drawn

**Please do not hate me for what I'm about to do but these thing must happen if you want your HEA**

**Battle Lines are drawn**

**EPOV**

I grabbed my car keys determine to fix this because I knew this would have disastrous consequences.

However as I opened the door I halted in my step at the sight before me.

"_Alice, who the hell did this to you? It better not had been that Jasper guy." _I roared

Alice just stood there before flinging her hands around me before breaking down in my arms.

"_Oh Edward. It was so horrible"_ she sobbed

I just stood at my front door comforting her

"_Shhh Ali it's gonna be okay. Tell me who did this to you and we'll make them pay."_

"_Oh Edward I'm afraid to tell you"_

"_Alice why would you be afraid to tell me?"_

"_Be...(hiccup)...Be...(hiccup)...Be…"_

I never seen Alice so choked up on her words

"_It's okay Alice take your time everything going to be alright"_

She just continued sobbing into my chest and shaking her head.

"_No Edward it's not going to be alright."_ she sobbed

"_Why not Alice?"_

"_Because it was Bella" _she screamed

"_Bella?"_ I croaked

Surely she has to be mistake. Bella would never attack anyone so viciously.

However she confirmed it by nodding her head.

I mean I saw her slap Tanya but to give someone who is practically family to you a busted lip and two black eyes it's just unspeakable. **(A/n Bella only punch Alice once in the eye. So the question is how did Alice face become so damage?)**

I cradle Alice into my arms and carried her into one of my guest bedrooms.

"_I'm going to get you some things to clean up your cuts and some painkillers and ice to help with the swelling."_

As I was gathering the things to help Alice a million thoughts where running through my mind.

But one thing for certain though I need to get to the bottom of this because even though I haven't been in Bella's life. She's not the type of person to resort to violence but boy did she do a number on Alice's face.

As I was cleaning up her gushes to distract her from the pain I began a conversation with.

"_Do you know what brought all this on? Because this"_

I said motioning to her face _"is so unlike Bella"_

Alice took deep breathes to calm herself before speaking and her words rocked me to the core.

"_You're right Edward this is so unlike Bella."_ she paused again taking another deep breath

"_The Bella we knew 6 yrs ago was never like this. This new Bella however is in a much darker place and I'm afraid of her and what she could do to those kids._

_You should have seen her Edward it's like she just blanked out and became all void of emotions as she attacked me. It was like something just snapped within her._

_And......and......I cannot help but to think it's my entire fault that she reacted the way she did today."_

I just blinked and looked at Alice questionably

"_Alice how could any of this possible be your fault?"_

"_I just cannot help but to feel that way. It's like every time you take my advice on anything dealing with Bella someone in our family always gets hurt."_

I attempted to protest where she was going with this because I knew the guilt still eats at Alice; in the part she played in Bella's absence in our lives over the last few years.

"_No Edward hear me out"_

I just bobbed my head motion for her to proceed

"_This Bella is foreign to us Edward and I feel had you not taking my advice so many years ago Bella would never have these rage fits which I believe it's her way in taking out her anger towards you and I._

_Think about Edward._

_Bella never had a violent bone in her until you took my advice. Having those kids, while it may have helped her heal from her other issues from the past such as cutting, alcoholism and what not. It did not help heal the most important issue she had to face. Abandonment Edward._

_Bella's greatest fear is not being wanted. She was rejected throughout the course of her life and just when she thought that she finally had a place where she felt like she belong, we her family ditch her the time she needed us the most. Do you not realize the affect that can have on a person like Bella who was already so vulnerable._

_Then to have a constant reminder of the one person you thought could never do you any wrong._

_She had no outlet to take out her pain and frustration out on throughout these years until we came back into the picture; the sources of her worst fear._

_You're fooling yourself if you think Bella does not resent you hell we all are. Her lashing out on Tanya and Me is just the tip of the iceberg. Who's to say that you're not going to be the next one on the receiving end of her anger or worst one of your children."_

I just sat there taking in all Alice and said because in a way in makes some sort of sense but a part me felt that she was wrong and that something wasn't adding up. However looking at Alice how can I deny that Bella doesn't have anger issues or resent towards any of us because Bella truly did a number to Alice's face.

"I get where you're coming from and all Alice but you cannot blame yourself for Bella's actions today also……"

"_Edward, are you home?"_ I heard Tanya's voice call out to me from downstairs as I was in the middle of talking to Alice.

I just started pinching the bridge on my nose as I called out to her that _"I'm in the guest bedroom"_

"_Edward look about today I'm truly sor…"_ Tanya had trailed off as she entered the room seeing Alice's face

"_What the hell happen to you?"_ Tanya said looking at Alice.

I just shook my head and ask Tanya to give us a moment.

"_Alice why don't you get some rest while I talk with Tanya"_

I left more painkillers on the dresser for her and went downstairs to deal with Tanya.

-

-

-

**APOV**

I quietly tiptoed out of bed to eavesdrop on Edward's and Tanya's conversation because I knew on a general bases what the conversation was going to entitle.

"_Look Edward, Baby, I'm truly sorry about today. I swear on everything I love that the whole custody thing slipped my mind and I thought my assistant she had handle everything. I actually fired my assistant after you called me."_

Edward didn't even say anything. I knew he was still reeling from shock from everything that happened between Bella and me. Plus I knew I planted the seed of doubt into his mind about Bella's mental wellbeing and stability.

"_Baby please. Please say something you're scaring me. I do not want to lose you because of this. It was a mistake and I fired my assistant and tomorrow while I'm in court I'm meeting with the judge to get this custody hearing cancelled."_

Oh she's better than I gave her credit for.

I heard Edward sigh heavily before speaking _"Come here Baby"_ he beckon

I heard what sounded like kissing noises before Tanya asked him _"Are we okay still?"_

"_Of course Tanya and tomorrow won't be necessary."_

"_What but Baby everything been so great between you and her there is no need for you to file this petition for full custody."_

"_Yeah I know, but after I got off the phone with you I was going to go over to Bella to let her know that I was not going to continue with this custody hearing. However before I even got a chance to step out the door Alice showed up and well you see how she looks."_

"_I don't follow. What does Alice's condition have to do with anything pertaining to this hearing?"_

"_Because it was Bella who did it."_

"_Oh"_ Was all she simply stated and again I'm astonished by her ability to play out this off like she was just some innocent party in this whole thing but then again she's a lawyer so it's in her job description to be a good lying and heartless.

"_I still cannot get over the fact that Bella has that amount of rage and aggression in her. And even though I do not want to take the kids away from her I have to think about their wellbeing first."_

"_Hey don't look so defeated baby no one can fault you for wanting to do right by your children."_

"_I just wish things did not have to be so goddamn complicated."_

"_I know Baby I know but things are going to work out for the best. You'll see."_

"_I sure hope so. Look I'm gonna run out for a bit I need to clear my mind."_

"_Um Edward?"_

"_Yes Tanya"_

"_As you lawyer I'll advice while you're out clearing your mind please don't make a stop at Bella also if it's alright with you could I take pictures of Alice's face because it'll help us in court."_

"_I don't think I can even face Bella right now even if I wanted too Tanya and I would say yes to you taking the pictures but I feel you should at least get Alice's permission first."_

"_Okay Baby I'll do that love you"_ Tanya said to him as he was leaving

I hurried and rush back into the bed to fake 'resting.'

After a few moments went by I heard the door creak open before hearing Tanya's annoying voice "_I know you're not sleeping so cut the bullshit."_

"_My my my Tanya I didn't think you had it in you to manipulate your precious Edward like that but then again the fear of losing you Edward to her can surely motive huh?"_

"_You're just lucky things went accord to plan because had I lost Edward I would have taken you down with me" _she sneered

"_Please just save your empty threats Tanya. Your little happily ever after with Edward is safe for now but I warn you do not cross me because all that dirty you worked so hard to high can and will resurface if you do not keep up to your end of this."_

"_Yeah, Yeah let me just take these pictures of your mug already and remind me to give my assistant a bonus for the lovely job she did on your face. Too bad she didn't beat you to a bloody pulp." _She said smugly

"Whatever bitch. You should be kissing the ground I walk on for those pictures of that kiss Bella and Edward shared. Funny how you think he'll never leave you but throw in the woman who truly has his heart no matter how much he denies it and not to mention that she's the mother of his children. You just cannot complete with love like that."

I watch with satisfaction as her smug smile faded before she took the pictures and left the room.

Yeah the bitch thought her relationship was so secure until I should how the pictures of the day Edward and Bella spent with each other. She was under the impression that he was only spending that event with his kids so that was just the topping on the cake when I came into her office with those pictures of Edward, Bella and the children looking like one big happy family.

1 down and 2 to go. Even though Rosalie will be hard to sway but then again maybe I can work some angle with her relationship with Emmett to get her to abandon her tides to Bella.

Ring ring ring

"_Hello"_ Said the voice of the next person on my list to weaken Bella

I sniffed into the phone giving a dramatic affect like I'm crying

"_Jasper I need you"_ I cried out meekly

"_Alice is that you? What's wrong?"_

"_I'm in so much pain and I can hardly open my eyes. Can you come and get me? I'm by Edward's house he stepped out with his fiancée and I cannot bear to be alone. Plus I cannot drive myself back to my suite due to my injuries."_

"_What injuries Alice?"_

"_I'll explain to you when you get here. You're coming right?"_

"_Of course sweetheart I'll be there in 30mins"_

"_Okay thanks Jasper." _I said as I hung up the phone.

God I'm good. I deserve a fucking Oscar

All I need to do know is work Jasper over which will not be hard once he see my face.

-

-

-

**BPOV**

The drive back home from Jacob's hotel was a very thoughtful one. I played over everything that happen this last month over in my mind trying to figure out where things went wrong that Edward felt it was necessary to take my children away from me.

_Is this his payback from not telling him sooner about him being a father?_

_Would this had been the outcome regardless if he knew he was a parent back then_

_What exactly is the rest of the Cullen's views on this? Do they all feel this way or is it just Edward and Alice. _Even though Alice did not admit her part in this she was not surprise by what happen today and I know growing up with them the person Edward turned to for advice if I was not around was Alice so I know she's involved somehow.

I was grateful for Rose taking the kids today as I pulled into my driveway because I was still a bit off with everything that happened today, and I for one never like to be around my children when I'm this emotionally unstable.

I didn't even bother turning on the lights once I entered the house. I just climbed up the stairs and crawled into my bed and drifted off to sleep.

_**Dream**_

_Mommy where are you? A voice cried out_

"_I'm right here baby" I said as I ran down the corridor to find my daughter_

"_Mommy hurry I'm scared"_

"_Hold on Ashley I'm coming"_

_I ran as fast as I could till I came across a two way mirror with my children sitting on the opposite side of the mirror. _

_I kept banging on the mirror to get their attention but it was as if they could not her_

"_Mommy come here" My little Angel cried out_

"_Ashley, AJ mommy here" I cried out as I kept banging on the mirror _

"_What's wrong my little darlings" A voice called out to them from the doorway_

_I saw the shadow emerge from the doorway and I immediately started banging again "Stay away from my children I yelled_

"_The mean lady is back she's trying to take us away from daddy again." Both of my children said at the same time_

"_Dear, dear my angels no one's going to do nothing of the sorts besides mommy here I'll protect you" She reassured them_

"_Get away from them. Don't listen to her she's not your mother. I'm your mom." I cried out through the glass_

_**-End of dream-**_

_******VULGAR LANGUAGE IS ABOUT TO START******_

I shot up out of my sleep sweating. Even in my sleep I cannot get any peace from my subconscious fears playing out.

I clutched my heart willing my heartbeat to slow down as a sob ripped through my chest_ 'Why Edward? How could you do this to me'_

I do not know how long I sat there crying but I swore I heard someone at my front door.

I slowly gotten out of my bed I went to the top steps _"Hello is anyone there?"_ I said as I went downstairs as I was turning the corner to go towards the front door I bumped into someone.

"_Jesus Jasper you fucking scared me. Couldn't you at least called or something before you creep into someone house this early in the morning."_

"_Well had you picked up your phone last night and this morning you would know I was coming out"_ I was taken aback by Jasper tone which was laced with so much anger.

"_Is everything okay Jasper"_ I asked cautiously

"_I don't know. Why don't you tell me Bella?"_ He sneered

"_What the hell gotten into this morning that you're coming over to my house like a raving lunatic. You're lucky the children are at Rose because I do not appreciate your tone right about now and if they were her your behavior would probably scare the hell out of them."_

"_My behavior Isabella. You know it's like I do not even know you anymore ever since he came back into your life. What you cannot have him so you decide to make everyone's life…" _I had to cut him off.

"_Are you like fucking high are something because seriously you have some motherfucking issues and what the fuck do you mean by him?'_

"_I'm talking about Edward, Bella ever since he came back into your life you've been acting like a bitter harpy, and why all because he moved on and doesn't want you anymore."_

I just stood there stunned that Jasper was talking to me like this and once the shock wore off I slapped him "How dare you accuse me of something like that."

"_Oh rich do what you do best"_ He sneered while rubbing his cheek

"_What the hell have gotten into Jazz?"_

"_Your behavior is what gotten into me Bella. Alice has been doing nothing but trying to get along with you and attempt reestablish the bonds between you two that was broken when you moved out here. But you couldn't ever let her in and then you became extremely paranoid like she was plotting against you. Please tell me what possessed you to attack her yesterday? Oh wait was it because EDWARD filed for custody against you for your children so you took it out on the Cullen that you hate for no apparent reason. It anyone you should have gotten violent with yesterday it should have been EDWARD. Alice did not deserve what you did to her."_

I just sat back on the couch as my mind attempt to process the fuckery he just fed me. Did Jasper my friend, my brother, the godfather of my children just stand before me and defended that she witch? Clearly I must still be fucking dreaming right?

"_WHAT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY BELLA"_ he shouted with so much venom

"_Did you just seriously side with her against me?"_

"_You damn right I did. She has done nothing wrong. Why can you not see that? All she's been trying to do is get back the friendship that was once lost."_

"_You've got to be fucking kidding me right? For your information Jasper, Your precious Alice and I have never been friends. But you wouldn't know that because your nose has been buried so far up her fucking pussy lately Jasper. Alice is not all innocent that you make her out to be and if you knew just even an ounce of the shit she's capable of doing you wouldn't be defending her so fiercely but then again maybe your traitorous ass just might still be defending her. Did you not learn your goddamn lesson with Maria?"_

I saw him flinch when I said Maria's name but I did not care anymore because I was fucking pissed

"_You think what you went through after all that crap with Maria was awful Jasper? Huh? Just so you know when everything is said and done. Do not come to me to pick up the pieces this time when Alice decides you've served her purpose and she's done with you. You want to throw away a 6 year friendship over a new piece of fucking ass well go ahead. I'm glad you're siding with her because its friends like you I do not need. NOW GET THE HELL OUT MY HOUSE AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND MY CHILDREN." _I demanded as I walked to my front door and flung it open

As soon as he was out my house I slide down on the back of the door and began crying all over again because I came to realize I'm going to lose everything and everyone I hold dear.

I truly do not want anyone to choose sides but it's already too late.

Because of my actions yesterday it cost my friendship with Jasper but was I truly in the wrong though? Rosalie just started dating Emmett and I can tell she truly cares for him. Will I lose her too?

_**A/N**_

_**Okay I KNOW plenty of you will be mad with Jasper's actions but it had to be down. Alice has to see that she's winning somehow. You all should already know the answer whether or not she's gonna lose Rose. And the answer is simple NO.**_

_**Rose is loyal plain and simple however the question remains where that leaves her relationship with Emmett? I don't know (Well actually I do lol you'll just have to wait and see) Also do not worry Rose is going to give her brother HELL for his behavior**_

_**I know I said next chapter would be 'Motherly Advice' but I decided to add another chapter before that one called 'A Changing Heart.'**_

_**I'm taking Miss Reid advice from a few reviews ago and that advice was to have more Bella and Edward even if it's full of angst.**_

_**So next chapter will have a **__**heart wrenching **__**moment between Bella and Edward.**_

_**I may or may not be a Kleenex moment between our dynamic duo but like I said before it must happen.**_

_**The only good thing that will come out of the next two chapters will be that they are eye openers and yes Bella will learn just how bad Alice face is soon**_


	23. A Changing Heart

**I'm not sure if I'm too happy with this but let me know what you think. Did I hit it home or did it stink please be honest. I;m a big girl I can handle it lol**

* * *

**BPOV**

After Jasper left my house I just curled up unto my couch and gave into the pain that was consuming me.

Every fiber of my being was aching for everything that I've done wrong that to lead me to where I was today.

I should have fought harder to tell Edward back then before I left.

As I sat here crying I saw all my mistakes played before me and I begged for a redo of them starting with telling Edward he was going to be a father.

_Oh god Edward how could you._

_Is this the reason why you started distancing yourself from me these past few weeks?_

_Do you really thing I'm an unfit mother?_

I just groaned into the pillow on the couch.

My pity party was interrupted by the ringing of the house phone.

I reached for the phone not even bothering looking at the caller ID

"Hello" I sniffled into the phone

"_Bella oh thank god. Do you know I've been trying to reach you since yesterday and when you cell kept going to voicemail I became worried."_

"_I sorry I worried you Rosalie"_ I replied weakly

"_You sound like shit"_

I knew she was just teasing to lighten up my mood but after the shit her brother pulled this morning I was not in a consolable mood.

"_Geez thanks for point out the obvious Rosalie"_ I sneered into the phone.

"Hey, Hey now no need to get on the offense Belly just trying to lighten up your day. I know everything is kinda hard to take in but you're strong and you got Angela, Me and Jazz to help you through this."

I just started crying silently when she said that last bit apparently she does know yet that Jasper is deep within the she-devils clutches.

"_Rose can I ask you something?"_

_You know you can ask me anything Belly"_

"_How are things between you and Emmett?"_

"_Everything is great actually. He came over last night with pizza and to spend time with me and the kids. Your children adore him and as he was leaving last time he kissed me and told me 'would you believe me if I said after only know you for such a short time that I'm actually falling in love with you._

_I was so speechless when he said that. Yeah that's right I Rosalie Lillian Hale was speechless and proud of it too. I told him I do not know what if I feel for him was love but I would love nothing more to investigate my feelings for him and see where they might lead to. This brings me to my question why did you want to know that not that I mind telling you are anything but you have so much things are your plate to be worried about my love life."_

"_Well it's just that things are going to get extremely complicated with this case going on and Rose I do not want you to feel you have to choose between Emmett and me on our stances with this whole custody hearing."_

"_Bella you are too self-sacrificing for your own good but just to put your worries at ease before you start ATTEMPTING to push me away because I know that's where you're going with this. Emmett thinks Edward is a complete idiot and as far as his sister goes he swear she's adopted too because he just cannot believe the two-facedness and bullshit she does. God you should heard what he told me how her recollection of yesterday."_

"_Trust me Rose I already know some of the things she said"_

"_Seriously how do you know? You weren't answering any calls till just now"_

"_Oh no, I didn't have to answer any calls. I got a house call 5 o'clock this morning from that brother of yours" _I snickered

"_Ah so the plot thickens. What did my dear ole brother do?"_

"_Can you put me on speaker phone and move the phone away from your mouth before I tell you?"_

"_That bad huh"_ She chuckled

"_Let's just say that Alice is giving it him good to Jasper because he came over here and chewed my ass out this morning, saying he doesn't know me anymore and that I'm a bitter harpy."_

"_HE DID WHAT"_ She shrieked into the phone

"_Are you trying to make me deaf Rose? Take it down a decibel or two."_

"_HAS Jasper lost his goddamn mind wait till I see him later better yet till he gets that stick out his ass I disown him."_

"_Rose that right there is exactly what I want to avoid. I don't want you choosing sides against your own family just for me."_

"_Bella you are family and when is my brother going to learn this is like Marie all over again only this time it's you he flipped out on instead of me."_

"_I know Rose I told him that and I also told him before I kicked him out my house when Alice is done with him don't come to me to piece back the pieces she's gonna leave him in."_

"_Good for you Bella. I'm proud of you Belly and that fighting spirit right there shows me you're strong enough to take on Edward, Alice and whoever else comes after."_

At the mention of Edward's name I realize there is just one more thing I have to do

"_Ah Rose could you pick up the kids for me again today. There is something I have to take care of today and I do not know how long it's going to take plus I do not want to put this off."_

"_Sure you now I have no problem picking up and spending time with my godbabies but do you mind me asking what it is you have to do."_

"_I'm going to have a talk with Edward"_

"_Any other time I'll be all for that but do you think that's wise plus being that's he has this whole custody case bullshit I wouldn't go anywhere near him without a lawyer."_

"_I know it's not wise but Rose I need answers and I just don't know but the one thing I do know Rose is that I have to see him for him to look into my eyes and tell me this is truly what he wants. Because I cannot shake the feeling that Alice is involved somehow in this bullshit, I mean it feels like she's pulling his strings somehow. I just need to know Rose."_

"_Okay Belly but promise me something?"_

"_Anything?"_

"_When you finish getting your answers call me because you truly did worry me last night"_

"_I will Rose plus I do have to come and pick up my little Angels two days without them is torture. Oh and I have something I need to discuss with you preferable not over the phone. Anyway I'm going to head out now, you know the sooner I get this over with the sooner I can head over to your place. Chat to you soon"_

"_Be safe Belly. Love Ya"_

"_Love you too Rosie." _

-

-

Driving to Edward felt like I was walking the green mile or something because in away this was like death because no matter the outcome I knew part of me was already dying. The question that remained was how big a part of me would die due to this bullshit.

I rung he's doorbell wait for him to answer as he opened the door he looked shock to see me standing there.

"_Bella now is not a good time nor do I think it would be wise for you to be here."_

I looked him square into the eye and pushed past him not even waiting for him to give me permission to come in.

"_How could you do this?"_ I shouted throwing the papers I could serve with at him

"_Bella It's for the best"_

"_For the best Edward; the best for whom exactly? It's not like you could not have seen the kids anytime you want nor was it like I was restricting you from spending time with them. So how could you do this?"_

_He sighed running his fingers through his hair _

"_It's not like I wanted to do this originally anyway" _He shouted but he stopped himself from continue like he already said too much however Edward should know me better to know I wasn't going to drop the subject

"_What do you mean by that?"_

"_It's of no importance now Bella"_

"_To hell it isn't I want to know the reason why you feel so compel to take my children away from me."_

"_When this notion was first presented to me I refused to do but when I went two weeks without hearing from you. I went to my attorney's office and put this case in motion. It just so happen that after I left my lawyer's office that you called me to meet up with me."_

That Son of a……

"_You mean to time me that you agreed to meet me and hangout with the kids afterwards knowing you were taking my children from me"_

"_Well Yes and No"_

"_It's either one or the other Edward"_

"_Well when I meet with you for lunch it was my intention still to keep the petition as is because I did not know where anything stood between us where the kids were concerned. Those two weeks were hell on me not know if I'll ever see them again so it was more of a safe net if out to reassure me. Anyways to the no part of my answer after spending time with you during lunch I realize I couldn't hurt you like that so when I came home Tanya was her and I told her not to proceed with the petition for custody._

_I thought things were taking care of in the aspect of dropping the whole custody issue however yesterday I was surprise when these papers got delivered to me yesterday. I called Tanya and she said it slipped her mind. I was on my way out the door to do damage control." _I cut him off

"_So if this was a mistake and miscommunications between your lawyer who happens to be your fiancée the woman that despise me to no ends which your naïve if you believe it's a mistake because shit like that don't slip a lawyer's mind when it can get them disbarred but then again like I said before she's your fiancée you wouldn't dare bring claims up against her; But back to the problem on hand why are you still going through with this?"_

"_Because as I was leaving Alice ending up being at my doorstep"_

"_Alice. I knew that conniving little bitch had something to do with this mess. I truly wish Rose wasn't holding me back so I could have actually done some damage to her"_

"_THAT'S ENOUGH BELLA. So you admit to hitting her them?"_

"_Of course I do! And if I see her again I'll finish what I started. She causing me to lose everything I hold dear in life. I will not just stand there and let that happen. Edward."_

"_See that right there is why I have to do this Bella"_

"_Because I want to defend my family? You would do the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot"_

"_No I would not" he said getting up pulling out some photos and shoving them in my hand._

"_I shouldn't even be showing you these but look at them Bella, Look at them and tell me I'm wrong for my actions. You need help, some sort of anger management or something Bella. I cannot in good conscious stand by and let violence like that go on while my children are around you."_

As I looked at the pictures dumbfounded I gasped with the only thought going through my mind you've got to be fucking kidding me.

"_What Bella surprise by your own handy work?"_

"_She told you I did this to her?"_

"_Yes and you just admitted to hitting her so don't try backpedalling now that you're presented with evidence"_

"_This is horseshit. Yes I hit Alice but I did not do all this damage to her"_ I spat

"_How would you know from what I gathered you spaced out as you were attacking her?"_

I just blinked as I looked up into his eyes

"Do you even listen to the bullshit that's coming out your mouth? I have Rosalie, Angela and shit load of restaurant staff that can vouched that when Alice left that restaurant, she did not look like this. Yeah her right eye may have been swollen but that was about it. I only got ONE. You understand that ONE hit off of her before Rosalie held me back. Explain to me with all those witnesses and just one hit could do all that damage? Huh? Edward."

"_Those are you friends they'll lie for you and as far as the restaurant goes you best friend owns it and aren't you a manager there as well. I'm sure the staff will lie for you too with an extra bonus in their pay."_

My hands were itching to reach up and slap some sense into him but I knew that would only make matters worse.

"_Do you even believe the fuckery coming out your mouth Edward? I only hit her once and I don't care whether you believe me or not. I'm willing to leave her now and just forget you even file a petition for sole legal custody if you call Tanya you're lawyer and drop this nonsense now"_

"_I cannot do that Bella. I care for my children and believe or not I care for you too. I just want you to get some help because I'm afraid one day you'll taking out on Ashley or AJ. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that were to happen and I had a means to stop it and did nothing." _He told me dejectedly

I was in that moment that I felt the change slowly easing its way in.

I sighed loudly and broke our gaze _"if you truly care about them or I like you claim you do you'll drop this. You just gain some trust and memento with Ashley; your actions will fucking crush her and she'll withdraw into yourself and fucking hate you actually they both will. Can you live with that Edward?"_

"_If it's for their safety than yes, I'm willing to take those consequences"_

"_Even if the reasons are unfounded upon. If I were as violent as you say I was don't you think child services would have been call on me already, by either the children's doctor or teachers? Do you really think I could put them through what I went through growing up?_

His expression hardens and he seemed unfazed by my words.

"_Bella I would of dropped it I was debating about that ever since our outing but after you assaulted Alice I have to think of my children's wellbeing"_

I felt like I had just gotten kicked in my gut by his words.

"_What are you implying? Because I would never in a million years hurt or cause my children unnecessary pain unlike one of their parents." _I sneered

Edward had opened his mouth to say something and just closed it.

"_Oh and while we're on the subject of me assaulting Alice it's been 10 years overdue. She may have guys fooled but she is not as Alice as she makes herself out to be."_

Edward just pinched the bridge of his nose.

"_Can you just stop blaming others for your actions and start...?"_ I didn't even let him finish

"_Blaming others Edward? Get your fucking head out your ass and open your fucking eyes. Let explain this slowly to you because I do not know how you can be a doctor and so goddamn dumb."_ I shouted

"_Alice...Never...Like...Me...It...Was...A...Act…And...Still...Is...A...Fucking...Act...That...She...Cares..."_

"_You're wrong"_

"_And you're fucking naïve. God you're a fucking doctor use your head and think" He just stayed quiet_

"_Let me let you in on a little secret Edward. You've ever wondered why I tried killing myself back then. I can assure it was definitely not because of my parents."_

I looked up at me when I asked that and I knew he was trying to piece together what that has to do with our conversation now.

"_No I…We never knew the reason why. We just always assumed it was because of what was happening between your parents and whatnot. You never wanted to talk about the reason then so why do you even want to bring it now?"_

"_Because it's time you learnt the truth"_ I said sadly

"_You remember when I was 16 and how I attempted to take my life. Yes my parents may have played a part of the reason why but they weren't the true reason why I wanted to end my life. I remember the day before I attempted to take my life like it was yesterday. I was waiting for your bedroom when Alice came into your room. _

_Actually Before I get into what Alice and I discussed that day its best I give you the back history of what lead up to those discussions and the reason why I despised Alice back then._

_You see when we were kids Esme used to always try to force a friendship between Emmett, Alice and I however I just never had any desires to form a bond between them. I thought Emmett was too scary looking and Alice. Well Alice was just too pushy for my liking._

_She always wanted to play with Barbie's, have tea parties and play dress up but I was never into all that stuff. So whenever Esme use to watch me I would always make sure to either bring a book or my drawing supplies; to ignore Alice whenever she came my way. _

_Of course Alice being Alice never like that so she use to try and take my books from me and I would either hit her, tell Esme or something along those lines._

_When you came that summer; Alice was livid how I ended up taking a liking to you and always wanted to hang out and play with you than her. We gotten into so many fights back then because of that, Esme use to think the reasons for our fights were because she did something to my books or that I ripped the head off her Barbie but no those were never the reasons._

_As we gotten older and time went on Alice still held a grudge against me for stupid behavior from when we were 5. _

_When I started having problems at home; Alice didn't like that fact that her parents were so worried about my wellbeing. I remember she came to me once and said 'just because your parents don't love you don't think you can steal mines.'_

_Alice became jealous of all the attention I was getting from her parents, you and Emmett but she never took it out on you guys or showed it whenever any of you were around._

_I however was not too fortunate._

_Alice went out her way to remind me everyday how unloved I was and how my parents wanted to abort me. Did you know it was her and her little cheerleading clique that started the rumors about me in High School?"_

He looked up me with so much disbelief in his eyes

"_Yes it was your precious little Alice and her friends who started the rumors that I had AIDS, got rape by my own father and that I got pregnant with his child; also that I had god knows how many abortions. Oh and my personal favorite was that I let the Reservation boys run trains on me. Which you can attest for none of those rumors was true since after all it was you who took my virginity when I was 21 years old._

_However those rumors fucking hurt and ate up me every day on top on the bullshit I was already dealing with at home. This was one of the reasons why I started crawling into your room and crying every night besides the abuse I dealt with at home._

_You not know all the reasons why always told me to be strong and that no matter what I also had you, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Alice to turn too whenever things got too rough but how could I tell you that the one person that was causing me so much pain was your own flesh and blood._

_So I kept that part all inside and never told anyone. You know to this day she still doesn't know that I know it was her and her little mean girls that started the rumors or the reasons why I do not like her_

_Eventually I became so numb by all the bullshit in my life that I started to look for ways to release everything I was building up inside, that's when I started drinking and cutting myself._

_It felt like I finally had some control in my life and it didn't hurt so much anymore when I was drunk or cutting myself._

_So I lived for that little control I had in my life and just ignored everything else around me; which was one of the reasons why I never tried to dispel any of those rumors. I just let people believe what they wanted and you know what hurt back then Edward. No matter how much you deny it I know there was a part of you that believed some of those rumors."_

"_Bella that's not true" _He said interrupting

"_No Edward it's true whether you want to believe it or not. You use to throw such a fit whenever I went to The Res or told you I just wanted to be alone; but that's not what confirmed for me you believed those rumors. No it was the night I gave myself to you. The look on your face was so fucking priceless when you realized I was a virgin that I thought you were going to go into shock on top of me." _I laughed dryly

"_Eventually your emotions change to relief, love, acceptance, admiration and comprehension but I was too caught up in the moment of us to even care; plus I was glad you learned the truth while others to this day probably still think so poorly of me._

_But you know I'm getting off course here. Let me get back to the day before I decided to kill myself. _

_Like I said before I was waiting in your room for you when Alice came in there. Normally whenever I was over at your house Alice and I avoided each other like the fucking plague so I found it really weird when she came into your room knowing I was there._

_I was laying down on your bed with my eyes close when I felt a sting on my cheek. My eyes immediately flew open because I thought it was one of my parents and that they came to get me from your house. Imagine my surprise when I saw it was Alice standing over me with puffy red eyes._

_I shouted at her 'what the hell Alice' and she just slapped me again stating that I ruined everything and why can't I get it through my mind that no one wants me; so stop forcing myself upon her family. She said that her parents only feel sorry for me and feels like they have no choice but to help me because they couldn't have it on their conscious if something were to happen to me._

_Then she went on and said it's pity how I was in your room waiting for you. She asked me did I not realize that you're sick and tired off my bullshit, also that I was holding you back. Again she told me you're supposedly a smart girl just think about how can anyone care or love you if your own parents don't. She turned to leave the room but not before saying do us all a favor and get lost._

_I didn't even bother waiting for you anymore because I felt everything she said made perfect sense at the time. So the next morning I snuck into your room before you woke up and left you a goodbye letter and put it placed it on your nightstand. You looked so peaceful sleeping so I gently kissed you lightly on your forehead and went back to my house to kill myself._

_I use to think after the fact that had I known that little kiss on the forehead would of woken you up I would of never had did it because you got to me on time before I bleed out._

_You know I felt like a failure that I couldn't even succeed in taking my own life but I made a promise to you I'll never attempt to kill myself again so that was a moot point when Alice approached me in the hospital calling me pathetic and saying I couldn't even do the one thing that would free her family of my burden right._

_It was in that moment my hatred for Alice grew but she was right I was a burden in you guys lives so that was the reason I never returned the love you felt for me back thing. I didn't want you trip to me anymore than you already was. That was the reason why I went to college in Alaska and travelled around the USA to distance myself from you. Because I did not want to have to face the day you woke up and realize that I was nothing special but a bunch of heartache and problems; but you where so fucking adamant on the fact that you'll always be there for me in my time of need, that you'll never hurt me and my personal favorite of your reassurances was that you'll never abandon me._

_Funny how you broke all those reassurances in one day but that's neither here or now nor is it the issue at hand, after everything I told you do you still believe Alice cares for me?"_

"_I find all this hard to believe Bella" _he said sadly.

Un-fuck-in-believable I just told him something I held deep and he thinks I'm lying.

I never thought I'll see this day come but for once the two parts of me that was never on the same page was finally in agreement with one another.

It was time

As I looked up at him I felt the change deep within and it hurt like a motherfucker but compare to what he was putting me through. I'll accept this pain gladly.

"_You know I use to idolize you. Hold you so high up on a pedestal where no man could touch. But now as I look upon all I feel is pity because one day you're gonna open your eyes and truly see the light._

_When that day comes I hope to god I'm there because I know you so well and once you realize how wrong you were. You're gonna look to me to apologize but you know what Edward. I'm just going to look at you with uncaring eyes because the damage will already be done._

_I may have been forgiving once upon a time but not anymore._

_I may not have said any of the things your precious holier than thou Alice claimed I said but she's right about one thing in her web of lies. As I look upon I truly wish you weren't the father of my children because my children need a real man to have a positive influence in their lives. Not a fucking pussy that's easily manipulated by the women in their lives."_

And I turned around to leave his place not even bothering waiting for his response _"By the way Edward police officers and surveillance videos don't lie. I didn't attack Alice as viciously as she led you to believe. I only hit her once in the eye so I hope those you and your lawyer have a field day in court when I provide proof to disclaim those photos."_

As I was leaving I saw Esme standing in one of the hallways and she looked at me with painful eyes.

I didn't even know she was here.

She mouthed to me _"Sorry"_

And I immediately knew she was apologizing for everything that's going on and for the things I'm certain she heard me confession to Edward about Alice.

I just nodded my head and left the people I once considered family; and the man I once loved with all my heart.

* * *

**A/N**

**Edward, Edward, Edward tsk tsk tsk……**

**Bella has a change of heart in this chapter but before you all go and get your torches out. Let me tell this is Bella's way in protecting herself from the pain she went through all those years ago because this time around the pain and the consequences are dire.**

**Bella has a lot to lose now. **

**She already lost Edward and the only two things she care for now more than her own life which happens to be a part of him as well is her children.**

**Next up ~ Motherly Advice in which we learn the rest of the Cullen's stance on this**

**On a sadder note RIP ****Daddy's Little Cannibal~**


	24. Motherly Advice

**GOODNESS I MUST REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS! 3 UPDATES IN ONE DAY LOL ENJOY**

**EPOV**

Bella had stormed out by house after giving me a piece of her mind and left me with a lot to consider.

I momentarily forgotten someone else was present in my house when I heard their broken sobs coming from the kitchen.

_"Esme are you alright?"_

Esme just sat there and laughed a non-humorous laugh before speaking.

_"You know a parent always hope their children make the right choices in life no matter what the circumstances are._

_We as parents know that sometimes that the path our children choose sometimes are not always the right ones but we hope and pray one day they'll wake up and see their erroneous ways._

_Along time ago I failed one of my children by sitting back and letting their needs and life spin out of control. When I finally did try to help that child it was already too late." _Esme said as she trailed off

I knew she always felt like she failed Bella and her words confirmed that so I tried to reassure her because I knew growing up she did all she could do for her

_"Esme I'm sure Bella does not feeling that way towards you and I highly doubt she was lost to you. Bella looked up to you growing up."_

Esme just looked up at me with sad eyes before giving me a weak smile.

_"It's funny in a sad way how you automatically assume I'm talking about Bella"_

I looked at her completely shock stating _"I don't follow"_ because I was utterly confused by her admission.

_"You ever stop to realize how Bella brought this family closer together back then"_

She paused before adding_ "well at least she did with some of us."_

I just stayed quiet trying to follow where she was going with all of this.

_"Bella first brought us together when she brought you out your shell once your parents died._

_You know some children are very good at reading others and through the things they observe. It's through these observations that bonds are eventually formed._

_I didn't understand one thing about Bella till now I just always chalked it up as different personalities."_

_"What does this have to do with what's going on now?"_

_"Everything" _she replied bitterly before carrying on with her thoughts.

_"You know before you came to live with us Bella use to come over to our house almost every day. I truly never mind watching her when her parents had to work or run errands but it did sadden me when she never opened herself up to any of my children._

_Like I said before I always chalked it up to the fact that her personality was different between Alice and Emmett._

_However when my nephew came to stay with us for the summer"_ she mused

_"She took to you immediately after only just being introduced to you. It was like both of your souls just connected to one another like you guys were made for one another. I thought with you in the picture she'll open up to the others but she never did."_ Esme stopped and looked at me thoughtfully

_"You know a few days before you were supposed to leave Bella had come to me with some very curious questions."_

I shook my head no as I saw Esme smile her first genuine smile all day as she revisit the memory.

_"I was making snacks for you guys when she came into the kitchen and pulled on the hem of my shirt._

_I looked down to her and she said 'Essie how far is Chicago from here?' When I explained to her how far it was she frowned and gotten really sad._

_She got really quiet after that and it was in that moment when I realized how much your friendship meant to her._

_After awhile Bella got this thoughtful look and ask if she could go home. I was taken aback by her request and I shocked by her answer when I asked her why."_ Esme laughed as she sipped her tea

_"Bella simply responded excitedly so she could pack because she's running away. I humored her and asked her where she was running away to and why. She looked at me with those beautiful soulful eyes of hers and said Chicago because she cannot lose her only friend that she loves."_

I myself smile at that memory because I could picture four year old Bella doing that.

_"However as you know that trip she wanted to take was never necessary. When I explained to her a few days later why you were so sad and wouldn't talk to her. Bella blame herself for the reasons why, which is still a trait she carries on today when it comes to anything pertaining to you."_ She said while looking at me pointy

_"Bella had wished that there was a way for you to stay in Forks with her, so when she learned of your parents death she blamed herself for ever wishing for you to stay because had she not made that wish you would not have lost you mommy and daddy._

_I tried to tell her it wasn't her fault but how do you explain something like that to a 4 year old. So instead of having one sad child to deal with I had two._

_After about a week Bella had a new resolve and told me she will do everything in her power to make you happy again because it hurts her to see you so sad._

_Her plan worked eventually and you two became even more inseparable."_

I stood there quietly still not seeing where she was going with this.

_"Ever since she brought you out your shell I became grateful towards her. That slowly throughout the years as I saw that sparkle disappear though her eyes I became every so protective of her that eventually lead to me neglecting my children."_

I had to cut her off because none of us felt that way we all understood Bella's needs and situation at that time.

_"Esme you never neglected any of us when Bella was going through her hardships."_

_"Ah but I did"_ she whispered sadly

Again I looked at her completely confused

_"You see I just assumed you guys knew how loved and wanted you were so I focus most my attention on trying to help Bella because she had neither of those things."_

_"We did Esme"_ I said again to assure her but she just shook her head no

_"When I mention earlier about one of my children being lost and you assumed it was Bella I was talking about Alice."_ she said as silent tears ran down here cheek.

I just shook my head in disagreement because I knew Alice and she never felt that way.

_"I know my children Edward and after overhearing your conversation with Bella just now it all makes sense. She's right you know that's why I was crying when you came in here."_

Impossible I thought

_"Esme you're wrong Alice cares deeply about Bella she only wants what's best for her, Bella is just being paranoid."_

_"You're fooling yourself if you believe that because the one thing I'm certain of is that Alice is good at hiding her emotions and true intentions._

_Alice resents Bella's presence in our life and after hearing what Bella just said how Alice made her life even more nightmarish. It just saddens me to know one of my children could be that way."_

I looked at Esme with so much disbelief _"You really don't believe those things do you Alice would have never done those things Bella claimed. Bella is just hurt and lashing out on someone even her own friend Jasper believes that."_

"_And you both are idiots then"_ Esme said sadly

All I could do was sigh

_"Let me ask you something, where is the Edward that fought tooth and nail to protect Bella from the demons or better yet where is the Edward that claimed once he found her again he'll make things right."_

"_He got tired of waiting and hurting."_ I replied like it was that most obvious thing

_"Oh I see so I guess since he got tired of hurting and waiting that now he feels it's okay to hurt Bella now."_

_"That's not what I'm doing Esme I'm only looking out for my children and I best interest"_

_"Keep telling yourself that eventually you'll believe it. Out of curiosity do you love Tanya?"_

_"Of course I do"_ I answered with no paused

Esme just shook her head and I could feel my anger starting to rise because I knew she never accepted my relationship with Tanya.

_"No I mean do you love her as much and whole heartedly as you use to love Bella? I mean is your love for her even a fraction of what you felt for Bella"_

_"Yes"_ I replied flatly

_"Then I guess you truly never loved Bella as you claimed because if you did you'll realize you're destroying everything important life but you're just too blind to see it and I refuse to be your eyes anymore."_

_"I'm not giving up anything Esme"_

_"Yes you're Edward and you will not realize it till it's too late and all the damage is done already."_

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration _"What am I giving up on then Esme?"_

_"Your family Edward; and when I say family I do not mean Carlisle, myself, Emmett, and Alice. I'm taking about your children and Bella. With this case you're let Alice and Tanya convince you to do it's going to come back and bite you in the ass eventually."_

I just sighed because I'll never make them understand

_"The only reason I had this case drawn up was not because Tanya or Alice doing but mainly on Bella's lack of communication with me during those two weeks, and Bella's constant violent outbursts."_

_"But Edward we told you to give her time but no Tanya and Alice kept pressuring you also like Bella said before Edward '__police officers and surveillance videos don't lie__.__'__ I know you for some reason want to believe that Bella is capable of such malice but it's impossible and you know Bella than anyone that girl cannot lie if her life depended on it; also Bella would never lie to you intentionally. Do you know how much it hurts to know one of my children is doing deliberate things to hurt someone I care for?"_

_"You wrong Esme, Alice and myself are just trying..."_ but she cut me off

_"STOP DELUDING YOUSELF"_ she shouted

I was taken aback by the hostile in the voice and the fact that she actually shouted because it was so unlike her.

_"No offence but I'm sorry you do not approve but this is my life and I'm making all the calls."_

I knew I was wrong for my tune to her but she had to understand and see my pain too.

_"You're right it is your life and I think it's high time I start making my own call"_ She paused taking a deep breath before continuing

_"I'm finish"_ She said sadly not meeting my eyes

_"Finish with what?"_

_"This whole situation you've allowed to be created with you, Tanya and Alice. I want you to leave Carlisle, Emmett and I out of it."_

_"Well I do not recall asking or inviting you guys to help out with this."_ I didn't mean to come across harsh

_"No you didn't ask us but let me assure you that this whole time while you've been spinning out of control believe me we've being doing our very best to protect you and your family. Sadly we thought you would come to your senses and drop this custody case."_

I just sigh loudly

_"Believe you me Esme I don't need protecting"_

_"Yes you do"_ she said while sobbing

_"From what?"_ I asked

_"Yourself Edward."_ she said as she got up from the kitchen stool

I followed her out the kitchen and paused when I saw her heading to the front door. She turned to me before leaving and her next words stung me

_"I once thought how proud your parents would be of the person you've become but if they were to witness the man that stands before me today, they'll be so disappointed in you just like we are. Open your eyes and see what's important to you and were your heart truly belongs too. But until then please keep us out of this mess you help created because we support Bella."_

She didn't even give me a time to respond before walking out the door and the last words I heard her say

_"I'm sorry"_

I just stood there dumbfounded because I was slowly seeing Bella was right this is dividing my family and in the end if I keep things going the way it is I'll have no one left but what are my options here?

I cannot and will not lose my children.

* * *

**WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER?**

* * *

**A/N**

**Is this the advice Edward needs to bring him out his asshole behavior?**

**And what do you guys think of Esme stance on this whole thing?**

**Coming up in FUTURE Chapters**

_**~ Jacob's influence in Bella's life or Better yet does she even allows him in?**_

**~The First Court hearing**

**~ Someone ends up in the hospital**

**~Another Emotional Breakdown that **_**may**_** undo the last 5 years of Bella being clean & Healthy**

**~A **_**hot and sticky**_** encounter between two people**

**~An unlike alliance is formed - someone on Team Bella gives Edward a heart-to-heart. While another person on Team Bella rails into him**

**~One Person gets **_**closure**_** and another finds the **_**missing pieces **_**but the question that remains is it **_**too late?**_

*****A**_** POSSIBLE**_** DEATH*****

**Runs and Hide for awhile**

* * *


	25. Goodbye My Lover

_**PLEASE READ BEFORE READING CHAPTER AND PLEASE EXCUSE ERRORS AND TYPOS**_

**This chapter was actually inspired by the song Goodbye My Lover. I actually wrote this chapter with the song on repeat.**

**This chapter is extremely important in the story. While Bella is having a mental breakdown in the present she digs to the past for the answers.**

**So the beginning and the ending of this chapter will be in the present while the middle is a flashback she's having during her breakdown.**

**The first chapter of this story was pretty much cliff notes of her life leading up to her leaving.**

**In this chapter we learn the affects of her leaving, her suffering, healing, and struggles etc...She also has an epiphany of sorts.**

**Might want your Kleenex out if I captured it correctly**

* * *

**BPOV**

I felt my strong facade crumble as I looking into his uncaring green eyes. So I did not even bother to wait for his responds as I dashed out his house.

That man back there wasn't my Edward. The Edward who once vowed to protect me from all my demons or the one.....

I could even let me mind think of that thought because it hurt too much. I turned on the radio to distract me from my thoughts and emotions, and I immediately groaned. The Fates fucking hate me.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care._

I had to pull over immediately. It was too much. It was like the words to the song were calling out to my broken heart and soul.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.

My emotions begun to get the best of me; and I felt the sting of unshed tears trying to spill over

_I've kissed your lips and held your hand.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you._

Edward…….Oh God Help Please Help me I cannot take this pain

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

Why does everything hurts so much now than 5yrs ago. I thought giving up on Edward the first time around was hard but not this time. It's bloody torture.

_I am a dreamer and when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while._

Why can't I be as strong as I was back then? Come to think about the reason I was strong back then was because of the lives that were relying on me.

_I'd be the mother of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you._

_**(A/n yeah I know in the song its father of your child but this fits so I'm going with it)**_

A weak mind and body could not handle the affects of pregnancy and childbirth. Back then I realized I didn't mourn my lost I just kept everything on the inside. Because the doctors warned me that too much stress was not good for me since I already was having a high risk pregnancy.

Edward, Oh God, Edward I moaned

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

What happen to you? I want MY EDWARD back the one who takes the pain away, the one who once loved me and cared for me; the one that pledge to protect me always.

_And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bare my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet.  
_

Please make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. I cried out as I clutched my heart.

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

This is too much to bare and it reminded me of a time when I first felt this kind of pain_._

_**FLASHBACK**_

_I ran out of Edward's house so quickly after he told me he could be there for me. I knew I should have fought harder to tell him the truth about my pregnancy and how much I truly am in love with him. However his words just confirmed my worst fears and I couldn't cause him anymore pain._

_I didn't know where I was going as I left Edward's place but one thing I was certain of without a doubt was that I had to leave the state of Washington._

_I couldn't cause him anymore pain and my heart ache at the thought of leaving him but what other choices do I have._

_I placed my hand on my stomach talking to the life growing inside of me._

"_I don't know if I'm stronger to do this little one but I promise you I'll try with everything fiber in my being that I'll get my act together because you are the one thing in my life that I've done right and proud of."_

_Time seem to drag on as I sat in the park thinking of my next move._

_However my thoughts kept leading me back to Edward. Why was I such a blind idiot to not of realize sooner how much I love him. Edward is...No he was my happy place and sunlight in all the darkness._

_Normally I would run to the nearest bar to drown out my sorrows or take a razor blade to my skin just to release the pain. But I could do that not without harming the little life growing inside of me which so happens to be a piece of Edward. The only piece of him I have left to hold on too._

_And just like that I knew where I would go. I remembered as a child I told Esme I was going to runaway to Chicago so that I could be with my Edward. No Bella I scolded myself._

_Edward is not yours._

_With my mind made up I knew Chicago would be the perfect place plus I knew people there. And the other pathetic reason why I choose Chicago was because it too was a piece of Edward._

_I picked up my cell and made the call to change my life forever._

"_Oh my god Bella I was just thinking about you the other day when I went to Angela's restaurant." She stated happily_

"_Hey Rose, I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time but I need your help." I replied sadly_

"_Is everything okay Bella?"_

"_I'm pregnant Rose and I need to get out if Washington and I have no one else. Can I stay with you till I get back on my feet?"_

"_Of course you can Bella, Hell you know you never have to ask. I'll help you in any way I can. But why leave Washington I'm sure Edward or your adoptive parents will help you"_

_My heart throbbed when she mentioned Edward's name_

"_It's complicated Rose. I'll explain to you when I get to Chicago but Washington is no longer home to me."_

"_I understand Bella. So when can I expect you?"_

"_I haven't planned that far ahead Rose. I'm...I'm not even saying goodbye to anyone. I'm going to stay in a hotel tonight that way no one knows where I'm at. Then first thing in the morning, I'll close my bank account and hop on a bus to Chicago."_

_I checked myself into a motel near the bus station and just laid on the bed crying my heart out. I cried for my unborn child and the lost of the love of my life._

_During the course of crying I heard my cell phone going off. I reached into my bag to answer it thinking it was Rosalie but as I looked at the caller ID my heart went numb as Edward's face flashed across the screen. My heart screamed at me to answer it but my mind was already made it. _

_It'll be harder to let go if I were to answer his calls now. I know myself my resolve will fucking crumble._

_I just held the phone to my heart shaking mumbling repeatedly 'I'm so sorry Edward, please forgive, I love you.'_

_The call went straight to voicemail and soon after I got a beep informing me I have a message. However the phone just begun ringing again and once again it was Edward calling. He ended up calling over 20 times and leaving just about the same amount voicemails on my phone._

_My heart was pleading with me to answer his calls but my mind kept telling it 'you feel the pain where in do you more. He made it clear please; I beg you for our sanity stay stronger and think of the life growing in our womb.'_

_I curled into a fetal position with my hand on my stomach praying that I was doing the right thing and that everything would work out okay._

_My cell phone started ringing again and I groaned out 'Oh Edward please stop calling you're gonna make my resolve crumble just to hear your voice.'_

_However it was not Edward calling it was Emmett._

_GOD I'M TAKING MYSELF OUT YOUR LIVES PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I screamed internally _

_Emmett called a few times and left messages as well. Following Emmett's calls Alice began to call me and I just groaned shutting my phone off letting everything just go to voicemail._

_That Bitch is probably calling to gloat in my goddamn misery._

_Eventually I managed to cry myself to sleep but my dreams haunted me and I barely gotten over 4 hours of sleep._

_I just sat on the bed just wallowing in my sorrows waiting for the bank to open._

_Once the bank was open I had taken care of everything I needed to and called my cell phone provider to shut my phone off without even bothering to listen to the messages because it would be hard to listen to those messages that Edward had left._

_Getting on that bus was extremely hard especially once the bus got to the sign that said 'Now Leaving Washington. Please come again.'_

_When I saw that sign I became hysterical and started breaking down on the back of the bus. I didn't care about the looks of pity some of the passengers were giving me because they wouldn't begin to understand my pain._

_When a passenger asks if I was okay, I simply responded 'I leaving the only place I ever knew as home forever just a bit emotion.'_

_Eventually I was all cried out but the pain was still there and the further the bus moved away from my home and my Edward, I slowly began to feel the numbness set in._

_When I gotten off the bus Rosalie was waiting there for me with open arms and tears I thought I no longer had I began to shed in her arms. "Rosalie I lost him" I kept repeating._

_We stood there as she comforts me telling me to let it all out and I could careless to the fact that I was in public. When you feel you lost everything what's the point in being embarrass?_

_Once Rose gotten me back to her place, she curled up into bed with me while I told her my sobbed story. She was so pissed off at Edward's actions but I defended him and explained to her how he wasn't at fault; and how I knew this day would come one day but never would I imagine it would be like this. I also let her know all the things I had put Edward through throughout the years and she understood my point in escaping; even though she may not agree with me not wanting to tell Edward. She felt he deserve to know._

_I didn't deny the fact either. I just told her let me get myself better first and work up the nerves to face him. She agreed solemnly._

_However as the months proceed I never found the strength even with therapy._

_I just kept journals, wrote him letters everyday and documented every day of my pregnancy._

_At one point I completely pushed Edward to the back of my mind because the stress was affecting my pregnancy and I refused to put my babies in harm cause of my selfishness. _

_After my babies were born I went through postpartum depression. I couldn't even look or even hold my children at first._

_Everyone told me it was normal for new mothers to go through this but I didn't want to believe it. I knew the root of my issues where due to the fact Edward was not in my life, the pain I caused him throughout the years, the pain I'm causing him now by not telling him he's a father but also the pain of my past in general._

_My heart cried out for Edward but I was too scared to contact him because I just knew he wanted nothing to do with me._

_Another thing that hurt was that as I looked upon my babies I saw him dominate in their features._

_After about a week from their birth I got over the fear of holding them because they were too innocent and didn't deserve that. But over the next 3 months I was still consumed by my guilt and fears._

_Shit_

_This case is going to bring up that fact that I was treated for depression._

_And I'm not talking about postpartum either. After 3 months I sort out help and through therapy I was diagnose with Dysthymia._

_A disorder that apparent was cause by everything I went through during childhood._

_My doctor also thought while I may have been diagnose with postpartum it was not the root of my issues, fears and guilt._

_My therapist wanted to put me on medication but I knew myself as a former addict I would become addicted to the pills. Plus I was pumping at the time and I wanted my children to have to nutrients that came from breast milk._

_So in the end I went through 2 1/2 years of intense psychotherapy._

_However even with the therapy I couldn't face Edward. Too much time had passed and I didn't want to lose my children which I knew was a possibility back then_

_**FLASHBACK ENDS**_

I was pulled out my turmoil by the ringing of my cell phone. I heard the ringtone and knew immediately who it was and I knew I had to answer the phone even in my current state.

"_Rosalie I need you it hurts too badly"_ I sobbed

"_BELLY what's wrong? Where are you?"_

"_The pain Rosie, it hurts too much. I cannot live through this, this time around. Please make it stop Rosie."_ I cried while clutching my chest.

"_Bella stay with me here where are you sweetie?"_

"_Rosie please make it stop."_

"_Fuck"_ I heard her mumble in a whisper over the phone.

"_Bella I want to help you but you have to focus enough to tell me where you are okay Belly?"_

I vaguely recall telling her where I was and her telling me she has the kids with her; and how she knew I wouldn't want them to see me like that so she was sending someone out there to help me.

For some reason I nodded my head as if she can see that before hanging up and curling myself into a ball over the driver and passenger seat.

I was too caught up in my pain and sobs that I wasn't even aware someone was with me till the pick me up and held me in their lap.

It reminded me of the way of the way Edward use to comfort me so I cried out his name _"Edward?"_

I heard the person sigh before they answered _"No Bella its Emmett, Rosalie sent me to get you."_

I cling to Emmett like he was my life support _"Oh god Emmett it hurts and it's all my fault" I sobbed into his chest_

"_What hurts Bella?"_

"_My heart Emmett, My heart and it's my entire fault."_

"_Bella its nonsense none of this is your fault baby girl."_

"_YES IT IS DAMNIT" I shouted while pounding my fist into his chest_

"_Don't you see had I fought harder back then to make Edward listen, or answer my phone when you guys called or confessed to him that I was madly in love with him back then none of this would be happening right now?_

_My children, I and Edward would be happy and a family if I wasn't so fucked up in the head. And it's my entire fault._

_And…..And this Edward is a stranger…He's sooo different but my heart still belongs to him Emmett. I want my Edward back but he's too far gone and hates me now. Plus he lets those bitches control his life and I'm going to lose the only pieces of him I have left which are my babies. _

_Emmett they're the only part of him I have left and I cannot lose them. They kept me sane throughout the years and dulled the pain of losing him but Emmett right now I'm so lost._

_Make it stop please Emmett_

_Just make it stop. I cannot handle it. I'm too weak to handle it._

_Just make it stop_

_Please_

_Please"_

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

I felt a pinch in my arm before blackness overcame me.

* * *

**A/N**

**Writing this chapter has left me emotionally drain seriously I never knew writing it would be so hard in so many ways.**

**Hit or Miss?**

**Bella's in a very weak and emotional place as you can tell right now; and as you can see to her time doesn't heal all wounds.**

**Bella's epiphany~ She never mourned Edward. She may have talked about him to others but she never truly gotten over losing him because in her way of thinking at the time she still had a piece of him in her children and by living in Chicago. Also she held onto to hope that one day things just might be right with them and that he'll forgive her eventually. So she has 5 ½ years of build up regrets, she still has her guilt, her unconditional love for him, the pain she feels she's cause him throughout the years and now; plus Bella has to deal with the threat of losing her kids, and this knew Edward whose foreign to her.**

**I may have more chapters posted later I'm working on 2 different ones. **

**Okay a warning for possible the next 4-5 chapters Bella will be tempted to give into her weakness.**

**Plus there is going to be a very disturbing chapter coming up which releases lots of pain, love, regret, anguish and all that jazz. (NO IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH JASPER. I JUST LIKE THAT PHRASE)**


	26. Yesterday

**BPOV**

I heard muffle noises all around me as the blackness began to fade.

I tried to focus on what the voices were saying but it felt like someone was pounding my head with a sledgehammer.

"_Aaahhh"_ I groan as I open my eyes.

As I took in my surroundings I realized I wasn't in my own bed and mumbled

Oh god not again.

"_Bella honey you're up?"_ Called out a voice from somewhere

As my eyes began to focus properly I saw that I was in Rosalie's spare bedroom.

"_Rose what happen?" _I croaked out and was surprise how raspy my voice was.

Rose came from the adjourned bathroom and put a cool compress on my forehead.

"_Jesus Bella you know you nearly gave me a heart attack yesterday."_

Yesterday what the hell is she talking about?

"_Yesterday?"_ I croaked out

She looked down at me with sad eyes and sighed while handing me a cup of water to drink.

"_Belly after you left Edward's you had an emotionally breakdown."_

I looked at her and my mouth formed in an 'O' shape as everything came crashing back down on me.

"_Oh my, oh my god."_ I choked out

"_Shhh sweetie deep breathes"_

Rose held me in her arms rubbing circles in my back in attempt to calm me down

Once I was calm I asked_ "where are the kids?"_

"_There downstairs with Emmett and Esme."_ She replied

Rose must had felt me tense as the words left her mother and told me _"not to get myself worked up again and when I'm up to it Esme wants to talk to me."_

"_What does she want to talk about"_ I asked timidly

"_A lot of things actually"_

"_Can you not be so vague Rose?"_

"_Well I promised her I'll let her tell you but the one thing I'll assure is that she's on your side in all this."_

I heard the sincerity in Rose's voice so I just let it drop.

We sat in silence for awhile until I decided to speak up

"_How did I get here? Please tell me I didn't drive here in the condition I was in yesterday."_ I asked franticly

"_No after I got off the phone I sent Emmett to go and get you. Don't you remember that?"_

"_Vaguely"_ I replied.

"_Well Emmett said when he got to you that you were an emotional wreck; that he had to call Carlisle to sedate you. They wanted to take you the hospital but they agreed that it'll be in your best interest to bring you here. Because the last thing you need is for this to get back to Edward and his camp."_

"_That was thoughtful of them"_ I mumbled

"_Bella what brought on your breakdown yesterday?'_

"_Edward."_

"_What did that fucker do or say to you?"_

"_Nothing, absolutely nothing."_ I responded

I went on a rehashed everything that happened

"_She did what?" _Rosalie shouted loudly

"_Which parts of what I just told you are you referring to? The parts from the past or her most recent fuckery?"_

"_She's psychotic. I'm sorry Esme and Carlisle seem like nice people but their daughter is fucking psychotic. Do you think she did those bruises herself?"_

"_I highly doubt she can self-inflict those types of bruises and if she did the bitch is a fucking lunatic. But you know what hurt the most and triggered everything? Edward's coolness and disbelief in everything I said_

_You know the funny thing is he once told me I don't see myself clearly but it's him who doesn't see me clearly. He thinks of me of the Bella from the past he doesn't see my changes. I have to let him go Rose. I held on to him for years but he's no longer my Edward. Yesterday made me realize I never did actually let him go or make an attempt to. I just pushed it to the backburner and everything that happened at his house just caused the dam to break."_

Rose look down at me hesitant as she opened her mouth to say something and immediately closed it.

"_What?"_ I asked her in a demanding tone

"_It's just that……and don't get upset with me either for voicing this okay?"_

I nodded my head waiting for her to proceed

"_I think you'll be making a mistake if you let him go Bella. The love you have for that man is simply amazing and before all this crap started I watched you two and I see the love not only in your eyes but his too. Could you possible love another man devotedly like you do Edward?"_

"_No I'll never love anyone other person the way I love him but Rose my heart cannot take anymore. It's time to let him go. He's not my Edward anymore. Yesterday was just me letting everything out that I kept bottled up,"_

I paused taking a shaky breathe

"_For my sanity and the sake of my children I have to let Edward Cullen go. My obsession with him is unhealthy and if I continue down that road I'll only be hurting myself more. My children need a better male role model to look up to and sadly Edward nor Jasper is it. Even if they were to see the light miraculously I still wouldn't want anything to do with them because it would be too late."_

We were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door.

"_Hey I have two little darlings whose dying to see."_ Esme said with a smile

I returned the smile at her happily at the prospects of seeing my children. Had it really been 3 days since the last time I saw them. God I'm an awful mother.

I didn't even get a chance to answer her when my two little angels jumped up on the bed both on opposite sides of me.

"_Hello my angels"_ I said to them while kissing them both on their foreheads

"_Mommy we miss you"_ Ashley said in such a small voice

I hugged both my children closer to me conveying how much I love and miss them

"_Mommy auntie Rose said you were sick are you feeling better?"_ AJ asked

I just looked down upon them and smiled _"I'm more that better now that I have to both of you in my arms. How come you guys are not in school?"_

They both just shrugged pointing to Rose.

My eyes met Rose and she mouthed _"I'll tell you later"_

And I just mouthed back _"Thank you" _because they're exactly what I need this morning.

For the next hour or so me and my darling little angels sat up the bed just talking.

While talking to them I realize I'm going to have to bring up the possibility of them living with their father. But as of right now I couldn't bring myself to broach that subject with them; however with things the way they are between Edward. It's time to make some changes especially in regards to how open I only his visitations.

The kids ran along downstairs and I gotten up to wash up and get ready for my day.

As I finished get dress there was a light tapping on the bedroom door

"_Come in"_ I called out

"_Bella dear you got a minute?"_

"_Sure Esme"_

Esme walked in and sat on the edge of the bed and for some reason she appeared nervous.

"_About yesterday at Edward's" she started but I interrupted her._

"_Esme I'm sorry you had to hear..."_

"_No Bella do not apologize I'm glad I heard because it cleared up so many things and it just saddens me a child of mine is capable of such malice."_

I looked into Esme's eyes and saw nothing but sincerity and sadness in her eyes.

"_I'm sorry I came between you and your family all those years ago. I feel had I never came into you guys life Alice wouldn't be like this."_

"_Don't you dare Esme"_ said harshly

I looked at her shock.

"_You need to stop blaming yourselves for everyone else's actions and you need to let go of this guilt you carry. The amount of guilt you're carrying is unhealthy Bella."_

"_It's easier said than done Esme." _I replied weakly

"_I know it is but you have to let it go Bella or things are going to get worst."_

"_How can thing possibly get any worse? I've lost everything that meant something in my life and now I may lose my children to the only person I've….."_ I just trailed off I couldn't finish that thought without opening the floodgates.

"_The only person you've love."_ She stated matter of fact

I opened my mouth to protest but Esme motioned for me to remain quiet.

"_I know you may have not realized your feelings for Edward sooner but I've known since I saw your attachment to each other at the ripe age of 4 that you were soul mates."_

"_Esme that might be so but I'm letting go of Edward. I cannot have a repeat of yesterday."_

"_Don't give up on him yet Bella, he'll come around eventually and then the both of you can be extremely happy as a family. I saw the picture you both took with the kids on your outing and I must say by just looking at that picture one can mistake you both as one big happy family. His love for you is still there it's just buried so deeply. _

_Did you know he came to me when he was going to ask Tanya to marry him? He wanted his grandmother's engagement ring that was passed down to him by his mother but I refuse to give it to him."_

I looked at her shaking my head _"No I did not know that but why would you refuse to give him something that's already his."_

_That ring has been passed down from generation to generation within our family. As you know my parents only had us girls and normally the ring was passed down to the men of our family to give their true love. So you can imagine with my parents only having two girls that the tradition had been change so instead of a giving it to a male; it was giving to Elizabeth who was older than me by 4 minutes. _

_The ring was destiny to be giving to Edward when he gotten older and once he's parents passed away I held onto it for him as well as the locket that you already have in your possession. I didn't give him the ring because it's not meant for her to have because she's not his true love. That ring is destiny to be on your left hand but somehow you both just got off course but I have no doubt in my heart that you'll find your way back to each other."_

"_I appreciate the sentiment but our time has passed and even if Edward was to open his eyes and see things for what they are; I could never get past the betrayal of him trying to take my children away from me."_

She nodded her head in understanding and rose from the bed to head out the door. She turned around briefly and cupped my face into her hands_. "Yes that betrayal hurts now but put yourself in his shoes too. Not that I'm putting blame on you or anything but what's the difference from running away when you were pregnant and now. Just think about it Bella dear but no matter what I want you to know that Carlisle, I and Emmett are on your side, we always were. We know Edward will come to his senses soon I just pray it's not too late, you two deserve your happy ending."_

"_It's already too late"_ I simply stated stubbornly as she left the room.

I eventually followed Esme downstairs to see what my munchkins were up to. When I say Emmett giving them each piggyback rides I could help but to smile. They look completely content and that's the way I wish their life could always be.

I went into the kitchen to find Rose gathering ingredients to make lunch.

"_Need any help?"_ I asked as I picked up an apple and bit into it

"Nope" She said making a popping noise on the p. _"Why don't you just sit back and relax and let someone take care of you for a chance"_

I just nodded my head and sat down on the stool taking another bite out of my apple.

"_I was thinking about something's and I'm going to implement some changes were the kids are concern." _

Rose paused in what she was doing and asked cautiously "What kind of changes?"

"_I'm just tired of my kindness being taken advantage of. After I had gotten out the shower I contacted my lawyer to have an emergency junction with the judge to set limited visitation rights for Edward while this case is going on. I told the lawyer that under no circumstances do I want my children to have overnight visits with Edward."_

"_You sure that's wise Bella? I don't want it to come and bite you back in the ass."_

"_I understand your concerns Rose but you yourself said Alice is psychotic and I know she's comes over by him sometime on the weekends when the children on there; and I will not only her around him nor do I want his fiancée around them either while I still have some control over their wellbeing. If Alice is possibly crazy enough to inflict bruises on herself to use it against me. Who's to say she will not hit my kids to make it look like I'm abusing them. I cannot nor will I leave my kids open to a situation like that."_

"_Can I ask you something and will you be completely honest with me Bella?"_

"_Of Course"_

"_Are you doing this to payback Edward for filing for full custody?"_

"Honestly yes and no but mostly it's for the children's best interest. Alice is unstable and I just do not trust Edward's judgment nowadays"

Rose just nodded her head in understanding and turned around and began proceed chopping onions on the cutting board.

"_Oh and Rosalie I think you were right about something you said awhile back."_ I stated

"_About what?"_ She asked as she looked up from cutting onions

"_I'm done I cannot keep making guessing on how things would of turned out had I not run away all those years ago. Right now I have to focus on the right now and the issues happening now. Part of me will always hold that burden but I have to let that go too in order to move on completely."_

"_I'm proud of you Belly and never forget that I'm always in your corner."_

I walked up behind her and just wrapped my arms around her _"I love you Rosie, thanks for always being here for me."_

"_You never have to thank me Belly" _She stated

I pulled apart from hugging Rose when I heard Ashley shout _"Mommy your cell phone is ringing"_

"_Bring it to me in the kitchen Angel."_

I looked at the screen and did not recognize the number

"_Bella speak how can I help you?"_

"_Hey Bella, this is Jacob Black we met the other day. I hoped I didn't catch you at a bad time"_

"_Oh Jacob hey how are you doing?"_ Rose eyed me questionably when she heard my upbeat tone.

Fuck in all this chaos I forgotten to tell her what happen to me after I left the restaurant that day

* * *

**A/N**

**This chapter was just filler. **

**EPOV is next and we see his responses to Esme's advice and everything Bella told him plus how he reacts to Bella's actions pertain his limited visitation.**

**I may add Bella's POV to the end of he's and in her POV she's face with her first temptation. Will she give in?**


	27. Soul Searching and Temptations

**You guys know Edward's a thinker so that's what the majority of his POV is about. Him think and processing everything.**

**Bella's POV is really short and *******READ IT WITH CAUTION******* **

**I'm running to hide now LOL **

* * *

**EPOV**

I walked over to my bar after Esme left and began pouring myself show Jack to help ease my mind as it drift through everything that occur today. I looked at the picture of Bella, the kids and I when we went on our family outing and it immediate made me think of Bella's words to me before she left

"_As I look upon I truly wish you weren't the father of my children because my children need a real man to have a positive influence in their lives. Not a fucking pussy that's easily manipulated by the women in their lives._"

Looking at the picture as I sipped on my drink made me realize how deep her words cut me. They cut me deep earlier but I couldn't dwell on them because Esme had immediately gotten my attention after Bella left.

The picture was mocking me as I continued to look down at it. In the picture Bella held AJ in her right arm, while I held Ashley in my left with my right arm wrapped around Bella's waist. In the picture Bella was smiling looking up to me with so much admiration in her eyes.

And if I was being complete honest with myself we looked like the package deal which consist of the four of us looking like we were one big happy family.

Bella believes I'm letting the women in my life 'manipulate' me and I'm wondering now if that's even a possibility and if I allow myself to believe that notion that would mean I've been lied to repeatedly by both Tanya and Alice. Tanya never gave me a reason to doubt her character however Alice is a different story especially with everything I learned today from Bella about Alice and the things Esme said as well.

I knew growing up that Alice and Bella never like each other but growing up whenever I asked Bella about she just shrugged it off or change the subject.

I mean growing up Bella was always been the suffer in silences type of person until things got too much for her to handle and it sets her off. Which what appears to of been what happen today.

It's not that I truly didn't believe the things she was telling me however it's just hard to believe my flesh and blood would do that to the one person I cared for the most. Plus when Bella left Alice apologized for her behavior towards Bella and helped actively in me trying to find her. But Bella insists all of Alice's behavior then and now is one big act.

Bella also believes that Tanya's actions were manipulative and calculating because in her opinion _'No way can something so important like a dropping a custody case can slip a lawyer's mind without actions being brought up against the lawyer.'_

Bella even went on an implied that_ 'Tanya probably did what she did because she knew I wouldn't file a claim against her which would case her to lose her right to practice law.' _In that aspect it's true because had Tanya been anyone else but my fiancée I probably would have filed a claim against her.

God this is so fucking frustrating I thought as I poured myself another glass of Jack.

How the hell am I going to get these answers it's not like I could go up to Tanya or Alice and be like _"Oh hey I heard you guys are a bunch of manipulated bitches" _Yeah I can just see that going over so well I thought to myself sarcastically.

Ever since meeting back up with Bella after all these years I've been second guessing and over analyzing everything especially when it came to Bella. I know Tanya has her insecurities when it comes to Bella but I've never given her a reason to doubt my love for her through our entire relationship so maybe her insecurities are her motives to ruin Bella. God I must be fucking crazy if I think the woman I love can be so callous.

But Esme too hit a nerve today.

I know I love Tanya with every fiber of my being but is my love for her truly as deep as the love I once shared for Bella.

Tanya was the first female I opened up too after Bella.

At first I wanted nothing to do with Tanya but she was extremely persistent and she helped me move on from the pain. In the beginning when I was Tanya I felt like I was betraying my heart but as the years went on without Bella I slowly begun to realize Bella was right all those years ago; whenever she would say to me _"Eddie I'm not her. I'm not the one you're meant to be with." _

I would always argue her against it and it would sadden me deeply when she fought me on this and whenever see she saw the sadness in my eyes or the tears I was holding back when she never returned my love she'll always say _"you see Eddie if I was her she wouldn't be causing those tears. So please just let me go."_

So after a year of being with Tanya I felt that my affection for Bella was nothing but a fascination and White Knight Syndrome but a part of me buried deep inside always denied that notion especially whenever I think of the night Bella gave herself to me completely.

There was nothing but love and admiration in her eyes when she given herself to me come to think of it she had the same look in her eyes as she did in the picture of us and the kids, but then again that look must have been for the progress I made with Ashley that day.

I mean there's no way Bella in love with me or ever was in love with me she said herself so many years ago that the love she had for me was more brotherly than anything but then again you don't have sex with you brother.

Then Bella's avoidance after we slept with one another stop the notion she loved me straight out the window. I never told anyone about Bella and I because that's just the way things were, whatever Bella and I ever did or told each other in private always stayed between us unless she was inflicting pain or hurting someone was hurting her.

I saw the look of insult on Bella's face when I suggested she need help and how I fear her taking it out on our children. But what the hell was I suppose to do the evidence suggested that Bella viciously attacked Alice.

_The evidence_ I pondered as I looked down to the pictures of Alice's face and again I heard Bella's voice inside my head _"By the way Edward police officers and surveillance videos don't lie. I didn't attack Alice as viciously as she led you to believe. I only hit her once in the eye so I hope those you and your lawyer have a field day in court when I provide proof to disclaim those photos."_

Again Bella has a valid point but if Bella's point is 100% valid without a shadow of a doubt that means somehow Alice inflicted these bruises unto herself and if that's the case she's a goddamn lunatic. Maybe I should check and see if she owns the movie _'A Thin Line between Love and Hate.'_ Tanya rented that awhile back and I remembered the scene where the chick went crazy and attack herself.

Also is those bruise are self- inflicted that would mean Alice has been lying to me ever since we were teenagers and everything Bella said no matter how farfetched it may seem is true; that Alice hates Bella with a passion but if that was the case why did Alice help try to find her?

I mean I don't care if she's Angelina Jolie no one can act that good you'll have to show a flaw sooner or later and not once did I see anything to make me think otherwise, but like Bella said she only acted on her true feelings when none of us were around still that doesn't example Alice's dedication in finding Bella.

Alice spent hours on the phone with Jenks and may other people trying to find Bella but what if it was all a rouse? No it was a rouse I berated myself for even having that thought. I was there for most of the meetings between her and Jenks.

My mind kept going around in circles trying to think things through so I just grabbed my keys and left to get some air.

I found myself outside of Tanya's co-op and decided to visit her for awhile to get my mind of my troubles. She was always great in distracting me whenever I over thought things.

I startle her as I wrapped my arms around her

"_Jesus Edward you scared the crap out of me"_

"_Sorry Tanya I just had a lot on my mind and well I just wanted to spend some time with you."_

"_I miss you too"_ She said before turning around and throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me passionately.

"_So you said you had a lot on your mind care to share?"_

I opened my mouth to tell her everything that happened today but for some reason I decided against. This stuck me odd because for some reason it was like the seed of doubt was planted on Tanya's behavior whenever Bella was concern. So instead of tell her the complete truth I told half-truths _"I'm just worried about this whole custody case what if my actions are wrong and in the end I ending losing my kids. This case hasn't even been to court yet and Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett pretty much disown me till I come to my senses. So what if instead of making things better and looking out for the best interest of my children I make things worse?"_

Tanya looked at me with some hidden emotion that I immediately chalked it up to her insecurities whenever something pertaining to Bella is mention around her.

"_Edward as you lawyer I need you to tell me know if you're having second thoughts and as your fiancée I'm telling you that you gaining custody of your children is in the best interest of those kids. Serious if you have any doubt think of what she did to Alice and if that's not enough which it should be because we got pictures to prove it; remember she displayed violent tendencies towards me at your house."_

Again this all comes down to evidence I thought to myself. If evidences exist that proves Alice's claims to be faulty what other grounds exist? I mean if I really look at it everything that happen that day everything seem like one be coincidence. I mean Bella just so happened to get served in the restaurant her, Alice and Rosalie were at, what's odd about that is how did the carrier know to find her at the restaurant, also I'm no lawyer but wouldn't Tanya had receive some notification before this or sign off to release the documents to the carrier or something. Another then that makes everything seem like a coincidence is that the lunch date between those three general happens on Friday's after I pick up the kids so what made them change it to Wednesday while the kids were still in school?

"_You who Edward"_ Tanya waved her hand in front of me

"_Oh sorry" _

"_Where were you just now I was talking to you and you just looked miles away?"_

"_Sorry Tanya, I just got lost in my mind. How about we watch a movie or something?" _I said trying to divert her from asking about what I was thinking about because even though I gave her half truths I still feel like I've lied to her

Tanya had fell asleep curled up in my arms as we ended up watching some movie on demand. I couldn't even tell you the name of the movie or what it was about because my thoughts just kept taking me places in regards to everything that's happen today.

I lifted Tanya up and carried her to bed.

I decided to stay the night however I still could sleep so I decided to check my emails in her office when I got the shock of my life. I was moving papers out the way that was laid on top of the keyboard when something's fell on the floor. As I was picking everything back up I saw a pictures of the kiss Bella and I shared the day we had lunch with one another and pictures of the outing with the kids.

I immediately began to feel guilty that Tanya knew about the kiss and the half-truth I told her by omitting that Bella would be with me as well when I was spending time with the kids. The guilt was still there but suddenly I began to feel alarmed by the fact that she had these things.

Did she not trust me enough that she hired someone to spy on me during my time with Bella and my kids and if that's the case maybe Bella's not so far off on Tanya's actions not being a mistake.

I needed time to think all this out and I she probably only had these out because she wasn't expected me so I ended up scanning each picture and sending them to myself in a email before deleting and emptying her recycle bin that way she has no idea I've seen these.

I put everything back where I originally found them and decided against staying the night because I needed time to think.

-

-

-

When I woke up the next morning I went to work and but all my focus where it need to me on with my patients, and left all the other bullshit going on in my life at the door.

When it was time for my lunch break a thought came to me and I drove to the one place hoping to get answers.

As I pulled up to the restaurant I asked the hostess if Angela was here. I only knew what the owners name was through Alice because apparently not only is she's Bella's best friend but she's Jasper's ex as well.

The hostess disappeared for a moment and reappear with the woman who had served us when my family and I first came to the restaurant when Bella ran off.

I extended my hand to here and said _"Hi I'm Edward Cullen I was wondering if I could have a moment of you time?"_

"_I know exactly who you are" _she said dryly with narrow eyes

"_May we talk in private?"_ I asked her hesitantly

"_Follow me"_ She motioned and I proceeded to follow her to a back office where she motion for me to have a sit.

"_How exactly can I help you Mr. Cullen?"_

"_I know I much not be one of your favorite person right now but I was wondering if I could see your surveillance video for the day Alice, Bella and Rosalie was here for lunch."_

She looked at me weird before composing herself and stating _"Sorry I cannot do that"_ I had cut off whatever she was going to say after that

"_Please I know you do not owe me anything but I really need to see that video"_

"_I understand you concerns Mr. Cullen but Bella and her children comes first however if you had let me first what I was saying you would understand why I said sorry because I gave the tape to Bella's lawyer about 2 hours ago. Now if you'll excuse me I have more pressing matters to attend too."_

"_Wait, can I ask you something?"_ I asked her feeling defeated because that video would of clear up so many things

"_How bad did things get between Alice and Bella that day everything happened?"_

"_I really couldn't tell you I was in my office when it happened and even if I wanted to I wouldn't because you've hurt Bella too much. She's carried this guilt for so long about you not knowing you children and hurting you all those years ago. Now I'm not going to pretend that I know everything that's going on but if you even care one iota for Bella you'll drop this fucking case. Now get the hell out my goddamn office."_

I left the restaurant feeling hopeless and went back to work.

When I entered my office my secretary told me that Tanya has called repeatedly same its urgent and call her on the cell because she'll be in court all day. I didn't really want to talk or face Tanya yet because I still did not know what to do with the knowledge I gained last night, however this seemed important so I gave her a call.

And she ended up picking up on the first second ring _"Hey Tanya what's so urgent?"_

"_Bella had her lawyer file a motion this morning and the Judge granting it."_ She stated simply

"_What kind of motion was filed?" _

"_A limited visitations right for you until a decision is made during the custody hearing. You're no longer allowed to have overnights visitation with your children during the weekends and you can only see them for a total of 6 hours a day 3 times a week."_

I was too stunned to speak.

"_Hello Edward are you still there?"_

"_Yeah um this is just a lot to talk in right now. What were the grounds on that this motion was filed?"_

"_Safety of the children, the lawyer said that his client fear for the safety of her children in your presences especially when Alice and I are around them."_

"_What are you not telling me Tanya? Because I doubt a judge will approve the motion base on what you just told me."_

"_Her lawyer managed to get signed affidavits from your parents and Emmett on behalf of Bella's character. It doesn't help that your own family supports her."_ Tanya stated simply

"_Is there any way we can get this reverse or some other solution?"_

"_There is one other route we can go but I'm not sure if you'll agree to it. That's why I've been trying to reach you because I didn't want to do anything without consulting you first. Baby I already feel bad for all this due to a mistake on my part so I just do not want to make any more mistakes because I'm afraid I'll lose you."_

Again Tanya was letting her insecurities show maybe that's why she had those pictures and why ever since that day she always mentioned she's afraid to lose me. How could I ever doubted Tanya's loyalty and actions lately when her she is trying to reach me to get my permission first?

"_So what is this other option that I'm not going to like?"_

"_Well being that I was blindsided by this motion today. I can filed a motion to have the children removed from Bella's house temporarily and since the judge already granted her lawyer the motion he filed, It'll be hard for you to get temporary custody of them but you can have more access to them this way. So the children will be place with either a relative or in a foster home till the custody hearing is over. The balls in your court baby what do you want to do?"_

_Shit this just went from bad to worse _I thought to myself.

"_Tanya that is not a decision I can make lightly I'm gonna need some time to decided okay"_

"_Sure baby take your time and I'm here whenever you need. I have to get back into court soon for another case. I'll take you later okay? I love you baby."_

"_Yeah talk to you later"_ I mumbled absentmindedly as I hung up the phone

I decided to cancel all my remaining appoints for the day and immediately drove to Bella's place. When I arrived I saw that her car was not in the driveway so I decided to wait.

Three hours passed Bella and was still not home yet so I decided to head home, and come back first thing in the morning.

When I was at home I really need someone to talk to normally I would of went to Alice for advice but with everything still iffy with her due to the information I gathered from Bella and Esme; she was the last person I wanted to talk to also I couldn't go to Tanya because frankly even though I could understand her insecurities now because I helped caused them by kissing Bella; I still felt weird out by the fact that she had someone follow me.

I ended up talking a sleeping pill to get a good night rest because I knew without assistants I would have been up all night

Around 9am I headed back over Bella's place and saw her car in the driveway.

I walked up to her door and rang her doorbell as she opened the door and saw it was me, she braced herself before spitting out _"What are you doing here" _with so much venom in her voice.

"_Can we talk Bella?"_

She crossed her arms over her chest and stated _"I have nothing else to say to you I told you all I had to see two days ago"_

"_Bella please don't be like this and I rather we discuss this inside instead of making a production in front of your neighbors." _I knew I had her there because even though she may change the one thing that would always remain the same was Bella avoid gaining others attention so she wouldn't want to air out her business on her porch

She motion me to come in and stated "You've got five minutes I've got better things to do than to waste my time on you."

Her words stung a bit but I knew I deserved them to some extent

"_I want to ask you why you had your lawyer to file a motion to limit my visitation rights to 6hrs a day 3 days a week instead of the overnights you and I once agreed too."_

Bella narrowed her eyes at me before spewing _"AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY THE HELL YOU FILE FOR FULL CUSTODY STATING I'M A UNFIT FUCKING MOTHER. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE THAT JUDGMENT ON ME BUT YOU DID SO DO NOT QUESTION MY ACTIONS."_

"_Oh so what is this I do something to you and you do something more heinous to me?" _

"_MORE HEINIOUS YOU'VE GOT SOME FUCKING NERVES. AT LEAST I DID NOT STATE YOU TO APPEAR UNFAVORLY JUST YOU FUCKING JUDGEMENT ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO THOSE TWO MANIPULATIVE BITCHES IN YOUR LIFE." She shouted_

"_I'm asking you to reconsider this Bella? Please for the sake of our children!"_

"_And I asked you to reconsider this whole custody hearing but did you listen?"_

"_You know why ended up continuing the case even after I found out Tanya forgotten to drop it"_

"_Forget my ass" _She scoffed

"Edward" She Sighed

"_You brought up a case upon me base upon lies while the motion I had filed is based upon facts. I know I didn't do the damage I seen in those pictures and Edward I have to think about our children first" _she croaked as she visibly started shaking

I reached out to comfort her out of habit and she took a step back shaking her head no.

"_Now I do not know how Alice got all those bruises but what kind of mother would I be if I only my children around her. Open your eyes Edward. How long did it take Alice to head over to you place? Lunch ended abruptly at 12:30 before we even gotten a chance to order and Alice left immediately; but it's obvious she didn't head to your place right away. Am I wrong to assume that Edward?"_ She asked me with tears stream down her face

"_She came a little after 2 pm"_ I proclaimed

Bella just nodded her head before speaking _"It takes about a half an hour from the restaurant to get to your place that's about two whole hours unaccounted for Edward open your eyes. It's too late for you and I to resolved out differences." _She paused to control her breathing as she said the last part

"_But it's not too late for you and our children. You said you're doing this whole custody hearing in the best interest of our children but your claims are based on lies. Edward I do not know how all gotten all those bruises but if their self-inflicted I cannot and will not expose my children to that because what if she decides to strike Ashley and AJ, so that she can run to you saying she found bruise on them and that I caused them. I already believe her to be psychotic enough to do that. So I'm beg you to open your eyes and see that she's doing things to paint my character poorly. Now your five minutes are up so please leave."_

"_Bella I…"_

"_No Edward just leave."_ She shouted as she broke out in a deep sob

I didn't want to leave her like that so I tried reaching out to her again but she just swatted my hands away and demanded for me to _"Just leave"_

-

-

-

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**BPOV**

Once Edward had left I decided to distract myself by doing house chores because I couldn't let my mind drift to the place of numbness even though I felt I was already there.

I never like showing any amount of weakness and was always the suffer in silence type of person however right now I needed to release all this pain and anguish but I just didn't know how; but one thing that was for certain I couldn't release these things around my children. I had to protect them at all cost.

The kids were at school and I wasn't going to pick them up for a couple more hours so this agony was torture. At least with them around it hurt less because seeing them and having them in my life made me feel strong.

But at this very moment I was weak.

I was loading the dishes from the sink into the dishwasher (not paying much attention I might add) when I felt a burning sensation coming from the hand that was in the sink.

_Shit_ I mumbled to myself as I realized I cut myself.

I was about to run my fingers under the sink when a familiar thought crossed my mind.

I paused just staring between the blood and the knife.

Then I heard the voice inside my head from my darker days saying _'you know you want to do. Just pick it up. And press the blade against your skin. At least you can control this pain.'_ the voice said again

I slowly picked up the knife with shaky hands

'_That's it just one little cut on your milky flesh won't hurt. It'll numb you and take away the pain just like the good ole days.'_

With a heavy sigh I walked upstairs with the knife into my bathroom and ran the bath water.

As the water filling up in the tub, I took off my clothes and my fingers ghosted on the faded self-inflicted wounds on my inner thigh.

And I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as I felt the coolness of the the blade as I pushed the knife against my skin.

* * *

**A/N**

**Wicked Cliffhanger _{Have A Little Faith in Me}_**

**So the question is does she do it? Well guess we'll find out next chapter**

**Edward is getting suspicious now? But will he down play it or follow his gut?**

**Also will he do his only option to gain more visiting rights?**


	28. Wake Me Up Inside

**Thank you all for the reviews last chapter they've all been amazing.**

* * *

**BPOV**

And I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as I felt the coolness of the blade as I pushed the knife against my skin.

I opened my eyes and looked down at my thigh where I have the knife touching one of my old wounds and I felt my body lockdown in anticipation for me to just do it already. I knew I would get instant relief which is exactly what I need at the moment but a part of my subconscious was telling me this is wrong and that I'll never forgive myself it I act upon it.

I was seriously having one of those situations where I felt I had a devil and angel on my shoulder telling me the pros and cons of my actions.

But truly in this moment right and wrong meant nothing to me so I slanted the knife against my skin and just as I was about to push the blade into my skin I heard a knock on my bathroom door.

"_Hey Belly you in there?"_ Rosalie called out from behind the door

I immediately frozen and looked down to my hand that held the knife with disgust.

Oh my god.

I cannot believe I was open to do that.

Rosalie knocked out the door again and I realized I hadn't answered her yet

"_Um… just a minute Rose."_ My voice sounded strain in my own ears so I know that was enough to alarm Rose with concern.

I through the offending object into the hamper and slide myself down on the floor feeling the shame from my action

"_Are you okay?"_

"_Um yeah just give me a minute. I'll be right out."_ I said as I felt the tears build up.

"_Alright Belly I'll be downstairs"_ It still sounded like she was concern about me in her tone but I knew Rose wouldn't push me because she knew I'll come to her when I was ready.

I stayed on the floor laboring my breath before putting on my robe and leaving my bathroom.

I quickly threw on some comfort clothes and went downstairs to join Rose who surprisingly had a plate of hot fudge brownies and ice cream waiting for me.

Rose smiled at me as she put the spoon to her lips and motion me to join her. I was immediately worry by her actions, Rose would not just come over her baring my favorite treats unless one of us called the other stating we were distress.

I returned the smile as I took a seat and like the warm of the hot fudge brownie and ice cream take over my senses.

"_Ummm"_ I moaned as I took the first bite

We ate in silence for awhile but it did not escape my notice that Rose kept eying me cautiously but I choose to ignore it because I knew whenever she was ready she'll broach the subject that was on her mind.

"_So"_ She said as she took another bite

"_So"_ I responded back waiting for here to continue

"_I received an interesting call today"_ She said being very cryptic

I knew she was baiting me but I was too curious to see where she was going with this.

"_That's good I hope the call was good news was it from anyone I know?"_

Rose furrow her eyebrows together before proceeding _"I wouldn't go as far as saying the call was good news but it was from someone you know which actually shocked the hell out of me when I received their call."_

I was getting tired of her cryptic replies _"Are you going to tell me who called or are we going to just keep this baiting game up?"_ I replied sarcastically

"_Okay you called me out so care to explain why Edward called me this morning?"_

I froze with the spoon midway before composing myself and shrugged.

Edward called Rose.

Why the hell would he do that?

"_What did he want?"_ I asked shyly

"_Care to explain why he felt you might need some comforting this morning?" _she replied coolly

Ah so that's what she was getting up and why she setup my favorite comfort food but why would Edward go out his way to call her?

I heard a very small voice from within say because just maybe he does really care for you but I shook my head ignoring that thought. I could not plant any seed of hope because it'll destroy me if I let myself hope only to come up short.

"_I guess he felt bad for upsetting me this morning when he came over and when he saw that I need comforting he attempted to reach out to me and I refused his comfort. I don't know why he felt the need of calling you though as you can see I'm fine. I cried a lot in front of him yeah but no need for him to call you so he can have a clear conscious about making me cry and upsetting me."_ I didn't like lying to Rose when I said I was fine but I couldn't bring myself to tell her about the shame she unknowingly saved me from by coming over when she did.

"_Fine huh?"_ She said cocking her eyebrow at me

"_Yes Rose I'm just fine it's just hard seeing him when I'm trying to let him go and he came over trying to get me to change my mind about the motion I had my lawyer file regarding his limited visitation rights. Things were said and I blow up at him. Thank you for coming over Rose but you didn't need to stop what you were doing just to clear up his guilt."_

Rose nodded her head but not necessarily in understanding though as she reached out for my hand

"_I'm not going to push it but when you ready to talk I'm here. I know how sensitive of a subject Edward is to you so I'll drop it for now but I just want to clear up on thing before I do. The sound of his voice when he called me did hold guilt but it held other things too. I know you do not want to hear this but he truly doesn't care for you asswardness aside when it a boils down to it that man cares for you. He just has a funny way of showing it as of lately." _

I felt that hope surging within me and immediately bat it down trying to decipher his angle.

"_He's just probably trying to rope you in over to his side with his fake concern."_ Even as the words left my mouth they should false in my own ears but I just ignored that feeling

Rose just smiled at me _"So anyways tell me about this Jacob fellow?" _She asked changing the subject to one I knew she was dying to ask me about since I left her house yesterday.

So I went on and told her who Jacob was and how I met him exactly also how I agreed to go on a coffee date with him tomorrow morning.

She features etch with concern as I told her all of this.

"_You waiting this long to tell me this man can be Bella for crying out loud this man can be a some sort of psycho. Please call him up and cancel on him for tomorrow."_ She pleaded with me

"_Rose if he was some sort of psycho or homicidal maniac he could of hacked away at me that day and no one would of found me plus he could of taken advantage of me when a slept but he didn't. It's not like by accepting this coffee date that I'm accepting a marriage proposal or something. I just think it's refreshing to talk to someone with an outside perspective so turn off your radar already he's a good person Rose."_

Rose just look at me warily _"I do not know about this Bella. Yeah he could have done something to you when he had you by himself but what if it's his angle to gain your trust before going in for the kill or something. You know I do not believe in coincidences so it's hard for me to accept that he just happened to be walking by and saw you in distress. Plus you've got enough complications in your life right now that you don't need any more nor do you need to be starting any new type of relationship now."_

I was about to reply to him when my house phone began ringing and Rose reached behind her to answer it "Hello"

I watched as Rose listened intently to what the person on the line was telling her and slowly Rose's face began to lose all color.

"Um thank you for the call we'll be right there."

I looked at her with a looked that said what the hell and she just told me to come on no time to explain we have to hurry up and get to the kids school.

I froze when she said that.

My voice began to panic as I asked her_ "What the Hell is going on Rosalie?"_

"_I don't know the details fully all I know it's something pertaining to Ashley being sick, nosebleeds, throwing up and then she passed out now I'll drive and you call Edward and have him meet us by the ER by the kids school. The school already called an ambulance because she's still unconscious"_

She looked at the expression on my face when she mention Edward's name and immediately began berating me

"_Put your bullshit aside for now because you know how he got last time when he found out Ashley was sick."_

I just nod me head letting the subject drop. I was no mood to see him again especially after I came so close to relapsing.

However right now this was about me and my little girl needed us so for the sake of my daughter I had to put on a united front. I thought to myself as I dialed Edward's number.

Edward answer his phone on the three ring

"_Bella I'm so glad you called"_

"_Save the pleasantries Edward this is not a social call Ashley's school is rushing her to the ER near the school I'm just calling to let you know so you can meet us there."_

I was greeting with silence

"_Edward are you still there?"_ I shouted into the phone

"_I'm on my way"_ He responded as he hung up

I just state their shaking as Rose drove to the hospital trying to comprehend what exactly was wrong with my baby.

Please God let my little angel be okay

* * *

**A/N**

**FOUR UPDATES WITHIN THE LAST 24HRS DO I FEEL A 5TH COMING ON? All those in favor say I LOL**

**I did say someone would end up in the hospital in the Motherly Advice update and I also foreshadowed Ashley becoming sick a few chapters back only reader caught that.**

**Now Ashley being in rushed to the hospital is a very interesting twist to the story and at this point I can safely say without revealing too much.**

**THIS WILL IMPACT EDWARD BIG TIME**


	29. Coming Out Of the Dark

**Okay before you read please know that this chapter was hard to write. If you haven't notice whenever I do emotional Chapters I tend to do it in Bella's POV because as a female it's easy to be in that mindset. So an emotional Edward is extremely hard. **

* * *

**EPOV**

Seeing Bella in pain like that remained me of when we were younger and her parents but her through that kind of pain and torture.

All that sadness and hurt in her eyes just hit me hard and turned on my protective mode for Bella. So I reached out to comfort her; but she would have no part of my attempts in consoling her.

And the reasons why hit my like a ton of fucking bricks.

Because I was the cause if that pain and turmoil

Oh my god. What have I done I'm a fucking idiot.

Esme was right my parents would be disappointed if there were to see me now.

I stood standing on her porch and here gut wrenching sobbed tore threw me. I wanted to knock on her door and offer my comfort again but I knew she'll only slam the door in my face.

So I just stood there listening to her sobs I deserved the pain that was ripping through my chest with each cry.

I stood there for about 5 minutes and went to sit in my car. I was consumed by guilt but I had to push that aside for now.

Bella needed someone and as much I wanted that someone to be me but I knew I didn't deserve that right after my behavior as of late.

Sitting in my car I pulled out my phone and called the one person that I knew would help her.

The phone rang a few times before someone picked up.

_"Hello?"_

I sighed into the phone before speaking _"Hi Rosalie this is Edward"_

Silence

I was greeted with silence which I knew was bad. From the little I know about Rosalie she wasn't the silent type of person.

_"What do you want"_ She spat

_"I need you help with something"_ I stated simply

_"Oh that's fucking rich what makes you think I would help you pathetic ass after everything you're putting Bella through huh?"_

_"I know I don't deserve any help from you but this involves someone we both care a great deal about."_

_"The only person you care about is yourself and your hoard of bitches."_

_"Look despite what you make think of me I care for Bella deeply. I know I haven't been showing it lately but I'm showing it now."_

_"What the hell are you talking about you're showing it now?"_

_"I went be Bella's place this morn..."_

_"YOU DID WHAT?"_ She roared

_"Look I went to talk to her but I realize my mistake when I went there. And seeing the pain in her eyes cut me fucking deep. She needs you Rosalie. Please just go to her and make sure she's okay."_

_"You really care for her don't you?"_

_"More than my own life"_ I responded

_"Then stop hurting her. You know what you need to do to make things right with her. Thanks for calling. I'll head of by her now."_

_"Thank you Rosalie"_

_"You don't have to thank me I'll give my life for Bella and her kids."_

_"I know and for the record I would to. I'm glad Bella have you in her life these last few years_." I said before hanging up

I cancelled all my appointments for today because I knew I was in no shape of form to help others with their problems.

I may not know what to do about Alice and Tanya but I knew exactly what to do to make things right with Bella. However Bella's words haunted me _"It's too late for her and I to have any type of friendship but it's not too late for me to have a relationship with our children."_

I'll know I fucked up too much were Bella's concern but I got to make things right.

When I arrived home I need decided to clean out my car in a way to help me think clearly.

I went inside to change into comfortable clothes and grab cleaning supplies.

I cleaned out the interior first and then proceed to pop the trunk.

As I was taking things out the trunk and throwing things I did not need into a garbage bag. I came across something I had forgotten on about. The package Bella had given me when I learned I was a father.

How could I've forgotten about this I thought as I sat in my car and threw everything out on the passenger seat?

Instead of opening the pregnancy scrapbook I immediately went fir the bundle of letters.

I untied them and realize Bella had them

In order and I figured it was in the order of from when she began writing to the very last one.

I grabbed the first letter and open of as I took the paper out my cell phone began to ring. I realized it was the ringtone I set for Bella and answered it immediately.

_"Hey Bella I'm so glad you called..."_

_"Save your pleasantries Edward this is not a social call. Ashley's school just called and their rushing her_ _to the hospital near her school. I'm just calling to let you know so you can meet us there."_ I heard the panic in her voice and I was frozen in shock.

Ashley god why her?

_"Edward are you still there?"_ She shouted into the phone breaking me out of my stupor.

_"I'm on my way"_ I stated before hanging up the phone.

I broke so many traffic laws getting to the hospital and prayed it was nothing serious wrong with Ashley.

I arrived to the hospital just as Bella and Rosalie was pulling up.

Bella appeared to be a nervous wreck and one look at Rosalie told me she would be one too had she not need to remain strong and calm for Bella's sake.

Rushing inside we went straight to the ER triage demanding information about Ashley's condition.

The ducking nurse was getting on my nerves as she kept ogling me as I was trying to get information about my daughter.

I was use to this type of behavior at times from the opposite sex but this was neither the time nor place for her flirtatious behavior so I snapped

_"Look I don't have time for you to be batting your fucking lashes at me so for the love of all that's holy direct to where I can get answers from regarding my daughter that was just rush in here."_ I roared

The woman look taken aback by my tone but she was wasting time _"Um just a...a minute."_ She stuttered

I started pinching the bridge of my nose to rein in my anger but it wasn't helping, as I kept thinking my little girl is somewhere in this hospital and I don't know what's wrong with her.

I felt pressure on my free hand and I looked down to see Bella had grasped her hand in mine. Bella's helped some of my anger subside.

And it was in that moment that I had all but forgotten her and Rosalie was here with me when I had my anger fit.

I do not think Bella realize she reached out to comfort me until our eyes locked and she dropped her hand from mine before looking down to the floor shyly while biting her lips nervously.

The nurse gotten off the phone and told us a doctor would be down soon to help us.

I nodded my head dismissively to her and began pacing.

_"Rosalie"_ I heard Bella say in a weak voice

_"Yes Bella"_

_"I need you to do me a favor"_

_"Sure anything"_ Rosalie vowed

_"Please go and pick up AJ."_ she said as she fell down into a chair.

As I looked at Bella and seeing her so broken it reminded me of the time when she broke down in the bathroom at school when she started talking to me again, when she thought I betrayed a trust by telling my parents about the abuse.

Rosalie looked torn not knowing what to do.

_"Are you sure Bella?"_

_"Yes Rose. I just need the reassurance that he's okay. Please go and get him but do not bring him back here just yet. I'll call you and let you know when to bring him okay."_

Rosalie gave a small smile _"Sure thing Belly"_ she said kissing her on her forehead and turning around to leave.

Bella crashed her head into her hands and I could tell by the way she was shaking that she was crying silently.

I wanted to approach her but I knew nothing I say could offer her comfort.

Rosalie grabbed me by the arm pulling me out of Bella's view jabbing her finger into my chest.

_"You better take care if her."_ she replied as her voice crack.

_"I will"_

Rosalie nodded her head looking back in Bella's before heading out the door.

I went over and knelt down in front of Bella putting my hands on her knees.

"_I'm going to see if I can find someone more competent than that dimwit nurse to help use so we can get some answers. Maybe if I inform them I'm a doctor we can get somewhere."_

When Bella did not respond I just sighed letting my hands fall from her knees and began to rise.

As I was rising Bells flung her arms around me holding me in place as she cried in my arms.

_"No please don't leave me I'm scared."_ She plead to me as she cling onto me.

_"Okay I won't go anywhere. We'll go together would you like that."_

_"Yes"_ she replied weakly

I held onto her as we both rose to our feet and I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me.

When I saw she did not pull away but drew herself closer to me as possible. I was relieved at least I can be her for her while we find out what's wrong with our daughter.

We were approaching the nurses' station again where I was about to demand to speak to a doctor immediately, when we were approached by a middle age man in scrubs. _"Hi I'm Dr Lavery, are either of you Ashley's parent"_

_"We both are"_ Bella croaked out

The doctor nodded his head and motion for us to follow him. He led us to a private office.

As all three of us took our seats and he began talking.

_"When Ashley came in we reviewed her medical record and became extremely concern."_

Bella squeeze my hand with a death grip as those words left his mouth

_"Wh...wh...what about..."_ Bella couldn't even finish she looked up at me with pleading eyes

I squeezed her hand reassuring and finished what she was going to say

_"What about her medical records have you concern?"_

_"It shows in her medical records that Ashley has been diagnosis with Anemia since April of last year. Is that correct?"_

I looked to Bella and she nodded her head agreeing with the doctor.

_"It also shows the throughout the year she's had fevers, the common cold, and flu like symptoms. She even recently had two trips to the ER recently not including this one, correct?"_

_"Yes"_ Bella said weakly

_"Dr Cullen and Mrs. Cullen, I'm sure you are aware that sometimes the symptoms for one illness can be a factor for other illness. And many times without the proper testing a patient can be misdiagnosed."_

In my mind I already saw where he was going with this and I prayed to God that again I was wrong in my assumption

"_Right now Ashley is suffering from an infection but upon further reviewing her records I ran a CBC upon her arrival and I'm sorry but the results are troubling."_

I took a shaky breath as the words left his mouth and my mind was screaming no.

I heard Bella's gasping for air as her breathing began erratic. I kept rubbing circles in her back trying to get her breathing back to normal as possible.

She looked at me with sad eyes and then turned to Dr Lavery _"what's a CBC?"_

Dr Lavery looked at us gravely before putting back up his mask. I knew the drill no doctor every wanted to be the bearer of bad news.

_"It's the most common Blood test for Leukemia."_

Bella tense up in my arms as Dr Lavery continue speaking.

_"A CBC counts the number of white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets in a blood sample._

_In the sample taken from Ashley she has an extreme high number of white blood cells and a sufficiently low number of red blood cells, also her platelet count indicates she has leukemia..."_

As the doctor paused I turned to look at Bella it was like she was here in body but otherwise she as gone.

"_We'll like to perform a function test on her liver and kidney to test if the leukemia has affected those organs."_

I wanted to tune him out because with every word he said and the emptiness coming from Bella; it felt like someone kept plunging a knife deep within my heart.

The doctor looks at us wait for us to be ready for him to continue I knew Bella was out of it but I had to be strong for the both of us right now. I pulled Bella closer to me so that her head was resting on my shoulder before asking him questions I dreaded.

_"Was a Flow Cytometry performed as well?"_

_"Yes it was and in sure your aware of the importance that test is in diagnosing a patient with Leukemia and how important it us to providing information on the prognosis?"_

_"Yes"_ I whispered

_"Through the Flow Cytometry testing we concluded that Ashley's type of Leukemia is AML also known as Acute Myelognous Leukemia."_

My breath hitched and the suddenness of that happen was enough to bring Bella out her trance. She looked up into my eyes full of worry before focusing her attention back to the doctor.

_"I know all this is hard to process but due to the severity of her illness there are two tests I need your consent to perform besides the function one I've mention earlier."_

_"Please continue"_ Bella said with tremors in her voice.

_"We want to be proactive as possible so we'll definitely need to perform a Bone Marrow Biopsy and a Lumbar Puncture."_

_"I'm sorry can you explain what a Lumbar Puncture is?"_ Bella ask the doctor as she dug her nails into my palm.

_"A Lumbar Puncture is also known as a spinal tap which is used to show whether the Leukemia has spread through the nervous system"_

_Bella's breath became erratic as she asked through clenched teeth "Is that test really necessary?"_

_"I know this is hard Mrs. Cullen but you have to understand that AML is a very rapid form of leukemia and it would appear from what we gathered that Ashley has been misdiagnosis for about a year now because as I mention earlier a year ago she was diagnosis was anemia. It may have been just the anemia back the Mrs. Cullen but now it is not. We've got to run as many test as possible to determine how far its spread within her body. The Lumbar Puncture is important Mrs. Cullen because we need to know whether it's spread to her brain and spinal. Also I notice Ashley is a fraternal twin and even though it is not common just to be on the safe side I'll like to perform a CBC on him as well."_

Bella just nodded her head getting lost within herself

_"The sooner we can do these testing the quicker Ashley can start her treatments as I've mention before AML cancer cells spreads rapidly and we need to determine her AML subtype so we can provide the right treatment accordingly. Again I know this is not easy but we have to act aggressively to treat her cancer."_

_"Can we see her please"_ Bella said cutting the doctor off.

_"Of course"_ he said as he led us out the office to where Ashley was.

Time seem to go slowly as we went up to Ashley's room and I felt myself becoming anger at the world.

I just met my daughter, I harder know her, she's still a bit distant to me and now she's going to be putting up the fight of her life.

FUCK

How can life be so fucking cruel? I cannot lose her before I even get a chance to know her.

With my anger building up deep inside of me I did realize one thing though none of my anger was directed towards Bella.

Yes Bella made some mistakes but no one's perfect.

I don't know at what moment exactly I forgiven Bella put I knew I did not blame her but the one thing I was certain of this is gonna fucking rock her to the core.

As we all walked into Ashley's room the atmosphere in there was tense. Ashley my little girl who was always vibrant and full of color looked so weak laying there.

Bella walked out of my embrace and walked over to our little girl.

_"Hey angel" _Bella said as she ran her fingers through Ashley's hair.

_"Mommy I don't feel so good" _Ashley rasped out

_"I know my angel but Dr Lavery is going to do everything in his power to make you feel better. While your father..."_

Bella took a deep breath trying to hold up her brave front and turned to me and held her hand out for me to join her.

_"While your father and I be right here for you doing whatever we have to do to make you feel better. Want to know why that Angel is?"_

Ashley nodded her head weakly _"Because we love you so much angel."_

Bella turned to Dr Lavery then and whispered _"do whatever it is you have to do" _before turning into my chest to hide her tears from Ashley.

We had stepped out into the hallway as the doctor told us everything he has to do and gave us a moment privately with Ashley before wheeling her out of the room.

I walked with Bella still in my embrace into the waiting room. I motion for Bella

to sit down next to me so you can imagine my surprise she curled herself onto my lap and held on to me crying.

I didn't offer her any words of comfort we didn't need any. For in this moment we just needed each other, while she held me crying I cried silently rubbing circles into her back.

We stayed in our embrace for awhile when I heard Bella sigh _"I should call Rose"_

Bella got out of my lap and walked to the payphone in the corner.

While Bella was on the phone my mind just couldn't wrap itself around everything that's been going on these last few days.

I knew without a doubt I knew what I was going to make things right with Bella and I truly hope in time I could earn her trust again.

I also knew I had to get the bottom of this whole Alice and Tanya fiasco. Something wasn't adding up and it was like I was missing a big piece of the puzzle.

One thing for certain that today taught me is life is too short to waste it away on what if and assumptions.

Ashley's going on six years old she has her whole life ahead of her and I'll be damn if I let my pigheadness get in the way of being there for her.

I may have not been in her life for many of the firsts in her life but I vowed to be there for the rest. I just have to get thinking positive. Ashley is a fighter just like her mother she'll pull throw this.

_"You look lost in thought" _An angelic voice said from beside me.

_"Yeah just got a lot on my mind"_

_"I know the feeling" _she mused

We remain quiet both lost in our minds

_"Edward" _She sighed

_"Yes Bella?"_

_"As a doctor give..." _She was interrupted as Rosalie, AJ, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme came bounding into the waiting room.

As soon as Bella saw AJ she jumped out her seat scooping him up into her arms.

For some reason I didn't feel comfortable here because besides Rosalie who mouthed _'thank you'_ to me and to everyone it was like I was frigging invisible. I guess I deserve that for my behavior as of late.

While everyone was talking to Bella asking her, 'what's_ wrong with Ashley?'_

All Bella did was clutch onto AJ tighter and shaking her head no. I knew Bella was in no shape to talk about it plus I could tell she just needed to be alone with our son.

I stood up clearing my throat _"Can you guys give Bella a moment with a son she's been through enough already besides I'm sure this is not the way she wants him to find out about Ashley with you'll bombarding her with questions. So if you guys step outside for a moment I'll answer your questions."_

Carlisle, Esme and Emmett looked at me shock and I could tell by Emmett's stance that he wanted to protest what I was saying however I saw the glare Rosalie was giving him and I knew that was enough for him to listen to what I was saying.

Bella looked up to me and smile _'thank you'_

I just nodded me head towards her to comply _'you're welcome'_

As soon as we were out of view I felt someone push me up against a wall. _"What is this stunt you're trying to pull?"_ Emmett demanded with a roar

I looked him defiantly in the eyes and told him _"get your fucking hands off of me"_

He shook his head no. _"I do not know what angle you're playing at but I will not let you use whatever is wrong with Ashley to work your way into Bella's life so you can break her again."_

"_ENOUGH EMMETT"_ Rosalie Shouted

Emmett looked at Rosalie like she had a third head when she came over to me asking _"Are you alright?"_

"_You can be serious Babe? Is he alright? Let's not forget he's the reason for Bella's stress, hurt and angry right now. I don't give a damn if he's Ashley's father but after the shit he's put Bella though and still is he shouldn't even be here right now."_ He asked her

Rosalie just narrowed her eyes at him not even dignifying him with an answer

"_I understand you have issues with me but either but them aside right now are you can get the fuck out the hospital because we do not need your negative fucking vibes. And I do not give a damn if you think I shouldn't be here right now but no matter what Ashley is my daughter and she needs me, also even if Bella herself could tell me to leave I wouldn't because I'm not abandoning my daughter while she's going to be putting up the fight of her life._

_Now are you going to put all your issues aside are do I need to find a doctor to call security to kick you the fuck out the hospital?"_

Emmett looked at me before bowing his head in defeat and I knew he did not like the tone I just used with him but right now I have no time for anyone's bullshit.

"Edward dear what's wrong with Ashley?"

Just as I was about to speak I was interrupt by Tanya as she approached us with Jasper and Alice.

"_Oh my god Edward, I got her as soon as I could what did she do to her? I told you we needed to act sooner now look your daughter's in the hospital and I know without a doubt that woman is the reason why. We need…"_

As I shouted _"ENOUGH" _I saw Rosalie punch Alice repeatedly and it took both Emmett and Jasper to pull her off of Alice. As Rosalie was being pulled off she sneered "Now you can say that one of us actually attack you viciously you psychotic

I was oozing with anger and disgust

"_YOU KNOW NOTHING OF WHAT YOU SPEAK OF. ASHLEY HAS LEUKEMIA"_

I heard a collective of gasps coming from all around me but I didn't care

"_NOW I THINK ITS WISE THAT THE THREE OF YOU LEAVE BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW THE THREE OF YOUR PRESENCES HERE UPSET BELLA. SHE'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH ENOUGH AND I DON'T NEED YOU GUYS HER MAKING IT HARDER ON HER."_

"_I'm not leaving Bella needs me"_ I heard Jasper say

Just as I was about to speak I saw Rosalie's palm connect to her brother's cheek.

"_TO HELL SHE DOES. BELLA DOESN'T NEED YOU AND YOU MAKE IT QUITE CLEAR WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THIS PSYCHOTICS BITCH LIES. NOW I ADVICE YOU TO LISTEN TO EDWARD JASPER"_ She spat out

I saw Tanya looked hurt that I wanted her to leave as well but I didn't have time to deal with this plus I still needed to work through the issues I have with these two women in front of me.

"_I'm not leaving I'm that little girls godfather" _Jasper she defiantly as he embraced Ashley

My anger was getting the best of me and just as I opened my mouth to speak I felt someone grab my hand and I heard a small tired voice say _"Leave we don't need you here"_

Everyone besides Rosalie looked shocked by Bella taking me hand to comfort me and to rein in my anger but I knew it was just her way of putting up a united front because I knew we still had issues to deal with; however right now I'm grateful she's putting them aside so we can be a unit for our daughter.

I looked at Tanya and I saw the hurt in her eyes by Bella's gesture but right now I wasn't thinking about my fiancée all that matter in this moment was my children and keeping the mother of children sanity intact while we deal with our little girl being sick.

* * *

**A/N**

**HIT OR MISS?**

**So yes Edward's eyes is open to things and there is going to be some big time changes.**

**Also let me assure you guys Ashley being sick is part of the original story line because I want to attempt to do a different way to bring Bella and Edward back together. I read a lot of stories that bring them back together due to either their current spouses cheating or dying but nothing is stronger than a child's love to bring two people back together. With that being said, do not get your hopes up too quickly that this is in any shape or form the Bella/ Edward reunion. Yes it's a start to them going that direction but like Edward said it's a united front they need to put up a strong front for Ashley's sake because right now she needs her parents more than anything.**

**Also being I'm pushing back my original Chapter 30 to Chapter 31 because I cannot just do EPOV on this news without Bella's take and what's going on in that mind of hers**

**Poor Bella how much more can she take**

**On the positive side Edward's disgusted with Alice's Behavior**

**Alice's plan with Revenge of getting Bella's Children taking away from MIGHT crumbling due to Ashley's sickness and because Edward wants to make things right with Bella. Will Alice put an even DEADLIER plan in motion and what will be the consequences and who will be affected by this new POSSIBLE PLAN?**

**Next Chapter we Find out whether the Custody Hearing is going to happen but before we do Bella MAY do something self-sacrificing first.**


	30. Breaking Bella Pt 1

**I Solely blame Bella for the delay of this chapter she has my mind all fuzzy due to her emotional rollercoaster and I'm just at the tip of the iceberg with her**

* * *

**BPOV**

There are some things in life a mother never wants to go through when it comes to their children and today was one of those days for me.

Leukemia

FUCKING LEUKEMIA my mind screamed at me

I wanted to jump up and scream at the doctor _"Your lying my little girl doesn't have Leukemia"_

But I couldn't because I felt myself become numb to everything around me.

They say be careful of what you ask for you just might get it.

For the last few days I've been begging and pleading for someone to take the pain away so I can be numb to everything.

And now that's exactly what I'm getting.

I wish it was a sick dream but as the doctor was talking I kept looking into Edward's eyes hoping and praying my ears and mind was deceiving me.

But Edward's eyes showed the truth I couldn't fathom to hear. My daughter has Leukemia and right now I wanted nothing more but to be able to trade places with her.

I take all the pain gladly just to make my little girl feel better.

I knew I was tuning out everything the doctor was saying because my mind kept shouting this isn't real. But as my head was resting on Edward's shoulder I felt a shudder run though his body and him taking a sharp breath.

That was enough to snap me out my fog.

Nothing good would come of this I thought as I looked up to him

I saw the tears building up that he was fighting not to release and I knew it was for my benefit. I focused my attention back to the doctor _"Please continue" _I said with tremors in my voice.

_"I know all this is hard to process but due to the severity of her illness there are two tests I need your consent to perform besides the function one I've mention earlier. We want to be proactive as possible so we'll definitely need to perform a Bone Marrow Biopsy and a Lumbar Puncture."_

_"I'm sorry can you explain what a Lumbar Puncture is?"_ I ask the doctor as she dug her nails into my palm.

_"A Lumbar Puncture is also known as a spinal tap which is used to show whether the Leukemia has spread through the nervous system"_

My breath became erratic as I asked through clenched teeth_ "Is that test really necessary?"_

_"I know this is hard Mrs. Cullen but you have to understand that AML is a very rapid form of leukemia and it would appear from what we gathered that Ashley has been misdiagnosis for about a year now because as I mention earlier a year ago she was diagnosis was anemia. It may have been just the anemia back the Mrs. Cullen but now it is not. We've got to run as many test as possible to determine how far its spread within her body. The Lumbar Puncture is important Mrs. Cullen because we need to know whether it's spread to her brain and spinal. Also I notice Ashley is a fraternal twin and even though it is not common just to be on the safe side I'll like to perform a CBC on him as well."_

I just nodded my head I couldn't really deal with this anymore. Ever word out of this doctor's mouth just kept stabbing me in my heart. My little girl No this cannot be happening.

_"The sooner we can do these testing the quicker Ashley can start her treatments as I've mention before AML cancer cells spreads rapidly and we need to determine her AML subtype so we can provide the right treatment accordingly. Again I know this is not easy but we have to act aggressively to treat her cancer."_

_"Can we see her please"_ I said cutting the doctor off.

_"Of course"_ he said as he led us out the office to where Ashley was.

Edward walked with me with his hand around my waist as we made our way to Ashley's room and I was dreading every step we took.

Walking into Ashley's room and seeing her so pale and her face contorted in pain was too much for me. I felt the tears coming and I tried my hardest to fight them down. I had to be strong for my little girl. She needed me and I needed her.

"_Hey Angel"_ I called out to my little girl while running my fingers through her hair

_"Mommy I don't feel so good" _Ashley cried out

_Deep breaths Bella please she needs you to be stronger_. I kept telling myself as I fought to keep the tears at bay

_"I know my angel but Dr Lavery is going to do everything in his power to make you feel better. While your father..."_

I began taking deep breaths again to compose myself and I knew I was fighting a losing battle which is why I turned to Edward holding out my hand to him. I cannot do this alone.

_Fuck why I sent Rosalie away. Edward's been great so far but I cannot afford to rely on him emotionally not now. Not with everything as it is._

_FUCCCCCKKKKKK_

_"While your father and I be right here for you doing whatever we have to do to make you feel better. Want to know why that Angel is?"_

Ashley nodded her head weakly_"Because we love you so much angel." _My voice cracked as I was telling her this

Ashley had closed her eyes and I turned to Dr Lavery whispering_ "do whatever it is you have to do" _before turning into Edward's chest and began crying silently.

I heard the door open and close so I figured the doctor was giving us privacy with Ashley

"_Mommy?"_ I heard Ashley say faintly

I used Edward's shirt to wipe away my tears _"Yes Angel?"_

"_Does the doctor know what's wrong with me?"_ I asked

I sighed looking up to Edward

_Shit how cannot I bring myself to tell her how sick she is when I cannot even accept it yet_

I moved closer to her bed pulling down the rail so that I could join her on the bed. Once on the bed with her, Ashley moved and nestle herself into my arms.

"_Have you ever heard of cancer Angel?"_

Ashley shook her head no

"_Well it's an illness that both children and adults get. When you came into the hospital the doctor ran so tests and they found that you have a form of cancer called Leukemia."_

"_Oh Okay" _Ashley responded simply before speaking again_ "So all I need to do is take cough medicine like last time I was in the hospital to feel better?"_

_My sweet innocent little Angel oh I wish it was the simply_ I thought to myself.

"_Not quite Angel. Dr Lavery has to run some more test and once he runs those test we'll find out what kind of treatment you're going to need"_ I told her as I saw Edward walk back into the room with the doctor.

I nodded at both of them before getting out of the bed with Ashley.

I kissed her gently on the forehead and whispered _"I love you Angel"_

"_I love you too mommy" _I said weakly as I turned to go out the door

I looked back at my little girl before leaving to see her gave Edward a weak smile when he kissed her as well.

_We'll get through this somehow_ I mumbled to myself and I knew somewhere deep I meant more than just Ashley's illness

Edward and I walked to the waiting room with hands intertwined. While we walked the tears had already began to fall.

He motion me to sit down beside him however I needed comfort and I curled myself into his lap instead as I let my sob I was holding in rip through me.

He didn't offer any words of comfort and I was glad because words could not assure me that everything was going to work out.

Edward let out his pain as well but tried his best to reassure me by rubbing calming circles into my back.

I don't know how long we sat in each other's embrace crying but my actions caught up with me and I knew I had to take a step back.

I need Rosalie

"I should call Rosalie" I sighed

I stepped out his embrace and walked over to the phone booth in the corner

"_Rosalie"_

"_Oh my god Bella is everything alright? What did the doctors say about Ashley?"_

"_Rosalie please just come back to the hospital I don't know how long I can hold everything in"_

"_Bella I'm on my way"_ I heard her say as I hung up

I looked back to where Edward was sitting and he looking so lost.

_"You look lost in thought" _said as I sat beside him.

_"Yeah just got a lot on my mind"_

_"I know the feeling" _I mused

We remain quiet both lost in our minds

_"Edward" _I sighed

_"Yes Bella?"_

_"As a doctor gives..." _I was interrupted as Rosalie, AJ, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme came bounding into the waiting room.

As soon as I saw my other little angel I jumped out my seat scooping him up into my arms.

I blocked everything else out that did not have to do with this little man I was holding in my arms with dear life.

I kissed him repeatedly whispering _"I miss you so much my angel"_

I kept feeling people hands on me and them asking questions like_'what's__ wrong with Ashley?' _however I kept shaking my head no.

I just wanted time with my son, my angel why don't these people understand that.

I heard someone clearing their throat _"Can you guys give Bella a moment with her son she's been through enough already besides I'm sure this is not the way she wants him to find out about Ashley with you'll bombarding her with questions. So if you guys step outside for a moment I'll answer your questions."_

I whipped around with AJ still in my hand and mouthed _'thank you'_ to Edward.

'_You're Welcome'_ he replied as he kissed both AJ and I on our foreheads before leaving to joining the others

I sat down a chair with AJ cradle in my arms.

"_Mommy is Ashley going to be okay?"_ AJ asked sadly

"_With time Angel"_ _I hope _I added mentally

We just sat there in silence as I begun humming a song I use to sing to them whenever one of them were sick or whenever I just felt grateful for having them in my life

_My little angels_ I sighed

While humming I heard shouting coming from the direction Edward disappeared with everyone.

I walked towards that direction and paused in my steps as I heard Edward say "Getting your fucking hands of me"

I walked back to the waiting room and place AJ in a chair whispering to him "Can you be a good boy for mommy and stay right here while I go into the hallway to talk to your father and auntie Rose?"

When he replied "yes" I kissed him on the forehead and promised to be right back.

As I went into the hall again I don't know what was said after Edward told whoever to get their fucking hands off of him. But I guess it was Emmett as Rosalie shouted "Enough Emmett" followed by "Are you alright?"

My mind instantly thought Edward may have done something to hurt Emmett and just about stormed around the corner to shout at Edward while our daughter is ill here he is fighting what kind of father is he

But I halted in my steps as I heard Emmett raise his voice at Rosalie. "_You can be serious Babe? Is he alright? Let's not forget he's the reason for Bella's stress, hurt and angry right now. I don't give a damn if he's Ashley's father but after the shit he's put Bella though and still is he shouldn't even be here right now."_

Well fuck why I'm I so quick to think the worse about Edward lately?

I don't know maybe because he's done nothing to earn my trust lately. I thought bitterly

Not now Bella think of Ashley

Oh I don't know maybe because he gave you a reason not to trust him I thought to myself

No one even noticed me as I stood there watching everything play out

I saw Rosalie narrow her eyes and was about to speak but Edward beat her to the punch "_I understand you have issues with me but either put them aside right now or you can get the fuck out the hospital because we do not need your negative fucking vibes. And I do not give a damn if you think I shouldn't be here right now but no matter what Ashley is my daughter and she needs me, also even if Bella herself would tell me to leave I wouldn't because I'm not abandoning my daughter while she's going to be putting up the fight of her life._

_Now are you going to put all your issues aside are do I need to find a doctor to call security to kick you the fuck out the hospital?"_

I never heard Edward with so much anger or venom in his voice.

Emmett bowed his head in defeat as Esme asked _"Edward dear, what's wrong with Ashley?"_

I saw Edward's shoulders drop and I felt a familiar tug that was drawing me towards him because in this moment his pain was my pain and mine was his.

Just as I went to join him so that he didn't have to tell them alone, I saw three people I did not want to see right now and their presence was weaken my already weak resolve especially when that bitch opened her fucking mouth.

"_Oh my god Edward, I got her as soon as I could what did she do to her? I told you we needed to act sooner now look your daughter's in the hospital and I know without a doubt that woman is the reason why. We need…"_

Her words cut me fucking deep because part of me felt that it was my fault Ashley's health was deteriorating. Had I been a better mother I would of notice all the signs that there was more to Ashley's illness.

Edward had shouted "ENOUGH" with clench fists causing me to push those thoughts aside for now just as Rosalie pounce onto an unsuspecting Alice.

It took both Emmett and Jasper to get Rosalie off Alice and as she was being pulled off she sneered _"Now you can say that one of us actually attack you viciously you psychotic bitch"_

Jasper was glared at his sister with so much animosity but none of it fazed her, Tanya remained silently looking at Edward longingly and lovingly, Esme and Carlisle both looked disgusted with Alice.

And Edward……

Well Edward looked like a man who had nothing left to lose as I became to see his rage take over him as he began shouting _"__YOU KNOW NOTHING OF WHAT YOU SPEAK OF. ASHLEY HAS LEUKEMIA"_

Everyone stood shell-shocked gasping

Even though I knew it already hearing Edward say caused pain to shoot through my body. I was still not ready to accept that she had it. Denials a real bitch.

I needed to get back to my comfort zone with AJ because all this pain is just too real to deal with but as I turned to walk away I heard the pain and agony in Edward's shouting. It was calling out to me to comfort him like he's been doing for me so far today.

"_NOW I THINK ITS WISE THAT THE THREE OF YOU LEAVE BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW THE THREE OF YOUR PRESENCES HERE UPSET BELLA. SHE'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH ENOUGH AND I DON'T NEED YOU GUYS HER MAKING IT HARDER ON HER."_

"_I'm not leaving Bella needs me"_ I heard Jasper say

To hell I do I thought dryly.

As if reading my mind Rosalie's hand connected with her brothers cheek "_TO HELL SHE DOES. BELLA DOESN'T NEED YOU AND YOU MAKE IT QUITE CLEAR WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THIS PSYCHOTICS BITCH LIES. NOW I ADVICE YOU TO LISTEN TO EDWARD JASPER"_

I turn my focus back to Edward and his posture was tense and he was trembling

"_I'm not leaving I'm that little girls godfather" _Jasper said defiantly as he embraced Alice

I heard enough and couldn't take it anymore so I made my presences known. _"Leave we don't need you here"_ I said weakly as I reached out and grasp Edward's hand.

Everyone appeared but Rosalie appeared shocked by me doing this but I could care less at this moment Edward and I need each other because Ashley was our number one priority. Truly if it wasn't for him being here for me so far lord only knows what I'll be going through and his presences is the only thing holding up this brave mask because I'm anything but brave or strong.

"Bella" Jasper said trying to reach out to me

"_Don't you dare I. DON'T. NEED. YOU"_ I responded

Jasper was livid by my words but he deserved them _"Oh rich Bella I reach out to comfort you and you tell me that, all the while this asshole whose in the process of taking you kids from you reach out to him willingly. Have you gone mad are you blinded by your own stupidity or wait I see it all now, You're using this to get close to him aren't you? To blindside him so that you can get the one thing you always wanted more than any huh ISABELLA"_

Rosalie reacted but Emmett held

"_Enough"_ I said weakly

"_WHAT ISABELLA YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE TRUTH."_

"_ENOUGH"_ I shouted walking closer to Jasper

"_You can say whatever the hell you want to say about me and I truly do not give a flying fuck but don't you dare ever utter those fucking words that I would use my children to get what I want. I'm not a manipulative bitch like Maria or Alice."_

"_So typical drag someone else into your troubles. Alice has nothing to do with your issues now Maria" _Jasper sneered

"_GET THE FUCK OUT JASPER AND TAKE YOUR LYING SLUT WITH YOU."_ I spat as I turned around making my way back to AJ.

* * *

**A/N**

**PHEWIE**

**Sorry I haven't updated since last weekend but I'll possibly do at least 4-5 updates this week! HOORAY? LOL**

**Bella's brave front is holding up well so far but next chapter all her walls crumble and SHIT HITS THE FAN**

**Everything hits her hard (Custody hearing, Ashley's wellbeing, Jasper's betrayal, past abandonment issues, the undying ache in her chest and EDWARD)**

***Jacob worms his way into her life***

**FAIR WARNING BELLA IS ABOUT TO BECOME JUST A TADBIT BITTER, VIOLENT, AND ****WILL GIVE IN TO ONE OF HER TEMPTATIONS**** ;-) **

**NOW THAT TEMPTATION WILL HAVE ITS CONSEQUENCES **(good and bad)

**Also there is a special meaning behind why Bella calls her children Angels that shall be revealed before the chaos erupts.**


	31. Repentance

**Please Read First**

**I know I said that this chapter would be from Bella's POV but as I was writing the original POV for this chapter something came to me and I just had to write it. So for the first and ONLY time I give you Tanya's POV and trust me it's an eye opener. **

* * *

**TPOV**

This was becoming too much to handle and now after 5 years I began to question why did I even get involve with Alice Cullen schemes.

Five years ago I was a struggling law student trying to make it financially through law school all while escaping my past.

When Alice first approached me I turned down her offer because of the way she stated it. Her proposal seemed like she wanted me to whore myself out her brother and in return I'll never have to worry about a tuition bill ever.

She kept attempting to get me to consider her offer but I had refused up until she brought out a secret from my past.

_FLASHBACK_

_"I know about your love child and how everyone believes little Katie is your sister. I also know how the father is and what it would do to his career and marriage if this were to get out."_

_She appeared to be extremely smug when she said all this but I attempted to play it off._

_"I don't know what you're talking about." I said nonchalantly_

_She just sat back smiling widely as she slide a folder towards me "No need to act all coy Tanya. I'll guard your secret if you do as I say."_

_I hesitated before opening the folder and the contents caused my face to drain. A secret I've held since I was 13 was now coming back a bite me in my ass and this secret would not only ruin me, Kate, and my family; but my first love._

_"How did you find this out?" I stuttered_

_"Oh you and I know someone in common. I needed him as well but he wouldn't do what I wanted without the right motivation either." She said while pointing at the folder._

_I looked at her with disgust "So because some prissy little rich girl doesn't get what she wants she sets out to ruin other people lives?"_

_"Oh save the melodramatics for someone who cares and you can take your look of disgust and look at lover boy with it or better yet look in a mirror._

_I'm not the one who neither slept continuously with a married man at the ripe age of thirteen nor was I the one to commit statutory rape. Nor did I knock you up with my bastard seed."_

_I felt like some just slapped me as she laid out my secrets so blaze._

_"What do you want me to do?" I said through gritted teeth_

_"I knew you'll come around. My adoptive brother is moving to Chicago and I want you to pack up your life here to move to Chicago as well."_

_I looked at her perplexed_

_"What you're crazy I cannot pack up my life here. Everything I hold dear to me is here" I said cutting her off_

_"Yes a man you've been in love with since you were 13 who promised to leave his wife for you when you became legal. How well is that turning out for you? You're 23 now and he's yet to leave his wife and you couldn't possibly want to stay here because of Katie. Katie your 10 year old daughter would only think of you as her sister after all that is the lie you and your parents came up with back them._

_You've already shamed your family name and I would truly hate for your parents and Katie to learn how much shame you've really caused. So basically what I'm saying is you have no choice but to go."_

_I continued to look at her with disgust._

_"Fine I'll do it but what does mean moving to Chicago will accomplish?"_

_She just continued to smile at me "I want you to get close to Edward and keep his mind occupied from things."_

_"What things exactly?"_

_"Those things are not of your concern. Just know that you have to occupy his free time and help him forget someone from his past."_

_I just nodded my head in understanding_

_"Your payment will still stand. I'll cover all your law school expensive and cost of living. You just have to keep an eye on Edward. Here is all the information you'll need and I'll see you in Chicago this weekend."_

_After Alice left I debated should I just not go because part of me thought she was bluffing after all like she said she needed the one person we knew in common to do her bidding. So she wouldn't reveal my secret knowing it'll compromise what she needed from the other party involved._

_With that in mind I decided not to go to Chicago over some rich girl's idle threat._

_Later on in the evening I decided to go to our usual meeting place with my lover. I didn't care what Alice said I knew he loved me and he'll leave his wife eventually._

_And I'll wait patiently till them and once that happen we'll find a way to tell Kate the truth._

_However I was in for the shock of my life when I went to his other office where he took on shadier clientele._

_The receptionist was not there as usual for our late night meetings but when I approached his office door I heard moaning coming from within_

_I wanted to turn around and just leave but the masochist in me decided to open the door and face whatever was happening in their head on._

_To say I was shocked when I opened the door would be a goddamn understatement._

_Bend over the desk blindfolded was my lover J.J but what shocked me the most was the things going on and who was in there with him._

_Alice had J.J bend over with a strap-on dildo fucking him roughly in his ass._

_I was sickened by the sight before me especially when Alice looked up and winked at me._

_She set this up for me to walk in on this; she knew I would be here._

_It was her way of showing me she had the power to ruining everything in my life and she truly did._

_She was ruining everything by showing me the truth even if it was in a disgusting way. J.J would never leave his wife and if he could be doing this with Alice who else has he been doing this with._

_Alice had me right where she wanted me so I just nodded my head and closed the door behind me leaving them too their business._

_I went to my parent's house to spend time with Kate and to say goodbye before leaving for Chicago._

_FLASHBACK_

Leaving Kate was the hardest thing I could ever do but protect her and my secret was the most important thing to do.

I had to put away the notion that I'll have Kate as my daughter one day and settle for her to be just my sister. At least I'll still have her in my life and she'll never know the depths of my sins or her bastard father who crushed my heart into a million pieces.

Chicago allowed me to escape the heartache even though it was on that manipulative bitch's expense.

When I met Edward I felt sorry for him he looked like he had lost everything and was barely holding on.

I could relate to that kind of pain so it made it easy to befriend him.

He kept his distance at first but eventually he let me in but his guards were still up.

I never knew exactly what his issues were but I knew it involve love lost.

Soon I found myself falling in love with him and the guilt became eating me alive but I managed to bat the guilt away when u saw this was my way to get my revenge on Alice.

Yes I love Edward fully but I knew it would eat Alice up knowing the love was returned.

The guilt was always there but seeing Alice face throughout the years made it worth my wild.

She didn't like the idea of Edward and me dating nor did she like when Edward proposed to me on New Year's Eve in front if his entire family.

My only problem was I gotten too comfortable thinking there was nothing Alice could do to ruin my happiness with Edward.

Until the day Edward told me his family was in town and wanted to go out to brunch. Also how Alice wanted to help with the wedding.

That immediately had me suspicious but I knew she would out my secret without outing herself, so I pushed those thoughts all away.

Everything was going great up until we went to brunch and our waitress appeared.

After the waitress introduced herself everyone gasped in shock and I looked up at her trying to figure out the issue and saw nothing until I looked around the table.

Esme, Carlisle and Emmett looked pleased while Alice looked at me smug as she turned to look at Edward.

Edward just looked like a blinded man seeing the sun again when the waitress confirmed being this Bella person.

As the tears ran down the waitress face as she ran away.

Another person appeared to take our drink orders and Edward's family looked crestfallen by that.

When I questioned them about it we were interrupted by our originally waitress returning with our drinks.

As she was passing the drinks out I couldn't help but to notice the tattoos on her wrist.

This had the words savior and Edward's initials on them.

It was in that moment everything made sense Alice smugness, the reason why she was adamant on coming here and that this was the woman from Edward's past.

The one he held close to his heart and the one he never told anyone about because it was too painful to talk about.

I had immediate hatred for her before hearing the full story and once I learnt some of the story I hated her more.

She was a user and hurt Edward beyond repair but when I learnt she gave him the one thing I could I was fucking livid.

Come to find out this woman one upped the manipulative Alice Cullen with the knowledge Alice didn't even have.

Bella was the mother of Edward's children. Children that I could never give him.

After having Kate I became pregnant again about 6 months later only for it to form in the Fallopian tubes.

Once of my tubes were remove and due to scarring the doctors told me I'll never have children again.

So the fact that this woman could give Edward the one thing I couldn't hurt like hell.

We talked about adoption and surrogacy but this new information was too much to handle.

And Alice knowing my weakness used me again to do her bidding which was to convince Edward to get him to agree to getting full custody of his children.

I knew Alice had ulterior motives and was out to hurt Bella and in all honesty I couldn't care less.

However convincing Edward wasn't easy at all. It took his beloved Bella to stop talking to him to do it.

To say I was shock when he came into my office to go through with proceedings to gain custody of his children.

Alice was pleased and agreed to back off claiming she had bigger fish to fry.

Things were looking on up until the day Edward came home telling me he changed his mind on the custody issue and he was canceling on me to spend time with his children.

I was disappointed with this new turn of event which meant I would have to tell Alice.

Alice wasn't pleased one bit and when I explained to her I've done my part and was going to follow Edward's wishes she showed me the one thing to make me want to help her.

Pictures of Bella and Edward kissing as well as pictures with them and their children.

Those pictures ate at me because I could see the happiness in their eyes and I felt my happiness was being robbed again.

Alice had me roped in completely.

I lied to Edward told him it was taken care of and began guilt tripping him about how much time he was spending with Bella.

It worked and I had Edward right where I wanted him.

Bella thought his distancing himself was due to guilt of that day according to Alice.

We also set the stage for Bella being served with Alice there.

I didn't count on Bella hitting Alice but Alice monopolized on that by tell me she needed my help one last time and she'll have over every incriminating things she have against me.

So again I found myself doing her bidding when I paid my assistant largely to beat her up.

I felt like I was finally free when Alice handed everything over however I didn't trust her so I need ammo on her.

Because I couldn't continue lying and manipulating Edward the guilt was killing me so I called the one number u haven't called since I left Washington.

"Hello" A masculine voice said

"Hello JJ this is Tanya Denali"

"Tanya it's been a long time to what do I owe the pleasure of this call. You know I was disappointed when you left without telling me why."

"I'm sure you were so disappointed that you had Alice Cullen ducking you in the ass with a strap on huh?" I replied sarcastically

I was greeted with silence

"What she didn't tell you I walked in on your little sick fuckfest?"

"I...ah..."

"Save it I'm over you but you have valuable information that I need is the only reason I'm calling you."

"And what would that be?"

"I know Alice Cullen was blackmailing you and I want to know what exactly you had to do for all."

"Sorry Tanya I cannot reveal that information you of all people should know why."

"But you see that's where I don't give a flying fuck anymore I have nothing left to lose. So I have no problem outing our dirty little laundry so if I was you I'll start chatting."

"You wouldn't dare it because it'll destroy our little Katie" He said sweetly

"Don't you dare bring Kate into this because I know you don't give two fucks for her and besides Kate's older enough to handle the truth. So now the ball is in your court I hear you're running for Mayor. I may not be a publicist but I know this will ruin you. So what's it going to be Jenks?"

"Fine...Edward Cullen her adoptive brother of sorts me out to find Isabella Swan-Cullen. He said money had no limits and that finding her just became my number on priority.

I took the case only because I knew the Cullen's come from old money and well Edward himself was loaded being the sole heir to the Masen fortune. You know with me Tanya money talks"

Shit I thought to myself from the beginning this was always about Bella.

"Continue with the story Jenks" I demanded

"Well it wasn't hard to find this Isabella Swan-Cullen chick so I flew out to Chicago for about a month or so to do detail on her.

I followed her around and took plenty of pictures when she started to notice me I backed off and flee back to Washington. I had enough information to give Edward about his mysterious lady. However before I got a chance to Alice came to my office on day and offered a sweeter deal as well as blackmailed me."

"Fucking perv" I mumbled into the phone

"Hey a man has needs and she met them well anyways. She didn't want me to tell Edward what I learned about Isabella. So I showed her what I had on Isabella and she took a lighter and burned them. Telling me that Isabella Cullen shall remain dead to her family and I better not be going soft on her neither.

So I lied to Edward making him think that it was a possibility Isabella was dead.

I truly felt bad for the man because when I found Isabella at first I thought she was pregnant with his kid. However I saw some guy constantly with her so I told Alice that she had nothing to worry about Isabella because she moved on and was having another man's child. That was the last time I saw Alice Cullen the night she made good on her end of our bargain. So now I ask you Tanya why the interest in Alice Cullen?"

I felt even sicker listening to the things he said he helped make Edward's life miserable and while I did too as well I'm now only learning the missing pieces.

"Because you're not the only one she blackmailed however her blackmailing me caused me to get a fiancée out of the mix. And I'm truly in love with Edward and Alice could end that so you just gave me something to keep her in check. I know you well enough to know what she burned wasn't originals. I'll like you to overnight everything you have on Alice Cullen to me."

"What makes you think I have anything ?"

"Don't fucking play with me Jenks I have no time for games plus I know you record every single thing that goes on in your office and where you use to keep your daily tapes. So send me the info or I go to the press on your infidelity and the fact that it was with a thirteen year old. Consented or not that is still illegal and the statutes of limitation for bring up rape charges in a rape case is 18 years. And Sadly Jenks it's only been 15 years. So what's it going to be darling?" I asked smugly

"You'll have everything in the morning and lose my number Tanya."

"Glad Jenks good luck with the election and stay away from minors" I said with a humorous laugh as I hung up the phone.

I was truly happy that I found something on Alice that if she went back on her word I could finally say no to her.

My happiness was short lived when I received a beep alerting me I had a voicemail.

The voicemail was from Alice saying something was wrong with Edward and that I needed to get to the hospital now.

I knew something was up when she was being vague also for the fact the Edward was already suppose to be at work. So why would he be at a hospital 1 hour from his job.

When I got to the hospital I was shock with the scene that played out before me and was even more shocked by the reason why Edward was at the hospital.

His daughter has Leukemia.

In that moment my heart went out to both him and Bella.

That's why I stayed quiet and opened my eyes for the first time.

I was no better than Jenks or Alice even though I'm just learning everything now it doesn't excuses my actions. With that in mind I knew what I had to do especially as a mother myself.

If Edward ask me I'll let him go but until then I was here to stay but I would push him anymore.

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**A/N**

**Okay that was interesting to write**

**Bella is coming up soon as promise**

**And Tanya is pretty much on her way out **

**Someone else knows Alice's secret and what exactly is Tanya going to do with it?**

**FYI**

**I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE TONIGHTS PREVIEW OF THE NEW MOON TRAILER A SNEAK CLIP ONLINE SHOWS A VERY HOT GOODBYE KISS BTWN EDWARD AND BELLA**


	32. Big mouths, Fears and Hidden Messages

**I was attempting to finish this chapter when one of the characters came and cussed me out royally (please don't call the white coats on me LOL) Anyway she felt appalled that I'll give Tanya a say and not her. Again because of this new POV this is not the original update for this chapter so without further ado I give you Rosalie's POV as well as Bella and Edward.**

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**BPOV**

Carlisle, Esme, Rose and Emmett all filed back in the waiting room eventually, however it did not escape my notice that Edward was not with them.

_"Where's Edward?"_ I asked out loud to no one in particular

Rose was about to speak when Emmett blurted out _"He left with Tanya."_

_"Oh" _was how I responded and I was too caught up with the fuckery in my mind and analyzing the four words Emmett spoke. That u didn't hear Rosalie slap him behind his head, or what she said to him nor her leaving the room with disgust.

Edward left.

Edward abandons me again when I need him the most.

See this is why I don't want to let him in because when I do he does something like this.

Doesn't he care about his daughter's wellbeing? I guess not if he left with that shank of his.

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**RPOV**

My heart went out to Bella as we walked back into the waiting and I saw her clinging onto AJ with dear life.

Sitting before me wasn't the strong girl who pushed all her heartache and everything else aside so she could give birth to her children and be a better mother to them.

No this woman before appeared to be broken and slowly I can see that light dimming in her eyes.

For years I've known the reason while Bella pushed herself so hard was to be a better person not only for herself but for Edward as well.

The pain she was in when she first moved to Chicago nearly ate her alive.

I automatically blamed Edward but when Bella told me her story. My heart immediately went out to both of them.

While I never condone Bella not telling Edward sooner that he was a father. I always stood by her no matter what.

By providing the support and comfort that she needs. Sometimes I catch myself seconding guessing myself about how I handle things when Bella first came to live with me.

I felt I should of pushed harder for her to contact Edward. Hell I almost called him up and told him myself but I knew it was my place to tell. Plus at was during that time when everything came crashing down on Bella and her unborn children lives were at risk.

It was then I suggested to Bella that it was time for her to push Edward aside and focus on her own health as well as the ones inside of her.

That task was easier said than done not even therapy helped her get over he lost of Edward.

Until now.....But I know it's just a defense mechanism to protect her fragile heart.

This time around I don't think I can help her like I did all those years ago. This development with Ashley I could feel that it's seriously the final nail in the coffin for her.

I saw Bella look around the room when we all returned and I also saw the sadness she tried to hide when she realized who was missing.

_"Where's Edward?"_ she attempted for it to come of nonchalantly but I heard the pain behind it.

Just as I was about to speak Emmett the oaf opened his big fat mouth. _"He left with Tanya"_

I looked at him like he was fucking crazy as Bella said _"Oh"_ so lamely before getting this vacant look in her eye.

I knew that look and that look frighten me.

That was the look she had when she moved her however now it was 10 times as worst.

Abandonment.

Bella's worst fear is abandonment.

Losing the people you love is never easy and now not only is Bella finally giving up her dream of Edward but she has to struggle now with the fact that her daughter the one she almost lost before is in for the fight of her life.

How much more can one person take till they had enough? And from the looks of her after Emmett's comment she was at her breaking point and I knew the next devastating piece of information she got will cause all help to break loose

Ah Emmett he's been great to Bella lately however I think he's taking it to the extreme. Did he not realize his comment hurt more than helped? I swear sometimes he has no goddamn filter.

I couldn't even help up when I slapped him opened palm on the back of his head.

_"Ow Rose what the hell was that for?"_

I just looked at him with utter disgust. _"For you stupid comment you idiot. Edward didn't leave with Tanya he said I wanted to discuss something with her and he'll be right back."_

He looked at me like he didn't understand where I was coming from. _"Like it matters if he did or not he needs to stay away from Bella he's only hurting more with his presence. Bella doesn't need him you of all people should know the shit he puts her through."_

_"Your comment hurt Bella more than Alice, Jasper and Tanya showing up. You pretty much stated that Edward abandon her while she's struggling to deal with their daughters health. I know you and your family does not approve of what Edward is doing but put yourself in his shoes and tell me what you'll do. Edward is trying and he doesn't need his own family ruining his efforts. You're right I know Bella very well better than you even which makes me know she's all her defenses up when it comes to Edward. However no matter what, what it all boils down to at the end of the day she loves Edward no matter what. So stop throwing him under the damn bus."_ I said fuming as I got up to leave to attempt to do some unnecessary damage control.

I'll be the first to admit I wanted to castrate Edward when the whole custody bullshit started. Then again I'm biases afterall I'm the children godmother and Bella's best friend.

If I was an outsider looking in I could easily see reasons to support Edward's argument from his standpoint.

Edward witness firsthand Bella hitting someone even if the person deserved it or not. Then Alice showing up on his doorstep battered stating Bella did it.

I believe he did what he thought was best because your children safety should be your number one priority.

And that is my opinion from an outsiders point of view however on the inside perspective it's easier to place blame and point fingers when only working with partial detail.

I was pulled out my thoughts as I heard Edward and Tanya talking. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but it peck my curiosity

_"Are you doing this out of pity that your daughter is in the hospital?"_

I heard Edward sigh loudly before he began speaking _"No"_ he paused

_"I've been debating with this since Bella came over to my house and gave me some interesting things to think about as well as Esme. Things are just complicated and this custody hearing is pointless. I've hurt Bella too much and I just want all the hurting to end so that we can start healing and possibly mend the broken fences. Bella told me this morning it's too late for us to fix our broken friendship and that it's not too late for me to have a relationship with my children. I want to be a better man and father so this custody hearing cannot no see the light of day. So please make sure you take care of it as soon as possible I want notarize copies stating that ASAP."_ He spoke with the upmost sincerity and I could hear both the love and pain in his voice with hint of guilt.

I stopped listening and walked away to give them privacy. I decided to let them talk for awhile before interrupting.

I was glad to hear he was dropping the custody hearing but I couldn't help but to think it was too late.

And not just for Edward but for Bella as well.

Bella believes she could move on from all this and love another however I knew she could never love another. He love fir Edward was all consuming and anything else with pale in comparison.

Don't even let me get started in this creep who just entered her life. When Bella told me about this Jacob fellow it set off all sorts of warning bells screaming danger.

What worried me the most was that I knew if Bella gave Jacob the chance she'll overlook the warning signs and give him her all just to get Edward out her system.

Then there is Edward. I can tell his feelings he'd buried so deep for Bella is finally resurfacing and I can tell he doesn't even realize it himself.

I looked at my watch and sighed time for damage control as I went to interrupt Edward.

And by look in Tanya's eyes as I approached them at the elevator I saw she came to the realization about Edward's feelings as well.

She looked defeated and the longing look she gave him as the doors closed told me all I need to know. She was willing to give him up.

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**EPOV**

Good what is wrong with these ducking people. I knew Jasper was pissed off about Bella allegedly hitting Alice but to go off on her like that while her daughter, our daughter was here in the hospital just made me fucking disgusted.

And Alice don't even let me began to start on her fucking behavior. I'm really starting to see this grudge that Bella told me about.

And that does not set with me well especially knowing what Bella said Alice put her through growing up.

Hell out of the three unwanted guest at least Tanya had the decency to stay quiet and I know she's not Bella's number one fan. So that in itself says something.

After Bella walked away I looked between Jasper and Alice not even knowing which one I should address first.

_"I think it would be wise for you two to leave now like I pointed out earlier to Emmett I'll have no issue getting security to haul your asses out. Alice how could you even think Bella would do something intentionally for one of her children to end up here? You know what don't even answer that Alice because right now I'm fucking disgusted with you. And Jasper your Ashley's godfather why kick her mother when she's already down. Ashley has fucking leukemia man, Bella doesn't need anyone else bullshit to deal with right now. So please just leave."_

I saw Alice and Jasper turning around to leave and I sighed looking up to Tanya.

_"Can I talk to you for a moment?"_ I asked her

_"Of course"_ She replied

I grabbed Rose's arm before she walked away _"Could you tell Bella I'll be right back?"_

She nodded her head yes as Tanya wrapped her arm around me as we walked off.

_"Tanya I just want to say thank you for not going off on Bella. I know you dislike her but I'm just glad you put your differences aside for the sake of my daughter."_

Tanya paused in her steps and looked me in the eye

_"You don't have to thank me for that. You should know by now that your happiness is my number one priority. And I wish I could be here to support while you're dealing with your daughter being sick but I'll respect Bella doesn't want me here. Like you said she's not my favorite person. I just had to make sure you were holding up."_

_"Again thank you"_ I said as I hugged her

_"No need Baby. Just let me know if you need me to do anything for you while you here and I'll take care of it."_

_"Actually there is one thing I need you to do for me and it's extremely important that it gets done either today or first thing tomorrow morning."_

"_Sure what do you need me to do?"_

_"I want to drop the custody hearing and please do not designate one of your assistants are associates to do it this time. I'll like to have the papers stating to the affect that the hearing is drop."_

I looked at her gauging her response

_"Are you doing this out of pity that your daughter is in the hospital?"_

I sigh loudly before speaking _"No"_ I paused

_"I've been debating with this since Bella came over to my house and gave me some interesting things to think about as well as Esme. Things are just complicated and this custody hearing is pointless. I've hurt Bella too much and I just want all the hurting to end so that we can start healing and possibly mend the broken fences. Bella told me this morning it's too late for us to fix our broken friendship and that it's not too late for me to have a relationship with my children. I want to be a better man and father so this custody hearing cannot no see the light of day. So please make sure you take care of it as soon as possible I want notarize copies stating that ASAP." _And I knew deep within myself it was the truth and there were other reason why but I just couldn't tell Tanya those without hurting her.

She kept looking into my eyes searching for something before just saying _"If that's what you want I'll take care of it first thing in the morning and bring the papers to your place tomorrow night"_

_"I would truly love that" _I said as I pressed the button for the elevator.

"_You really care deeply for Bella and not because she's the mother of your children?"_

"_Tanya I've care for Bella since we were four years old feelings like that my get buried but they never go away. At one point Bella was my everything and I lived to make sure she was happy throughout all the darkness life dealt her but now it's me causing that darkness and I just cannot stand it nor look myself in the mirror. I'll walk on hot coal for her and my children."_

Tanya looked at me with some unknown emotion before getting in the elevator _"I love you baby"_ she said with a hint of sadness. I was about to respond to her when I was cut off by someone calling me

_"Edward"_ Rosalie called out

When I turned to look at her she looked apologetic for interrupting however when I turned back to Tanya the elevator doors already closed

_"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt but you've been gone for awhile I just wanted to make sure your alright. I also want to point out that you've made so much progress with Bella that I'd hate to see either of you to take several steps back."_

I heard the meaning in Rosalie's words but I was shock by them as well because I knew she despised me also.

_"I sorry I didn't mean to be gone so long I just had to take care of some things with Tanya."_

Rosalie just nodded her head pensively and she looks like she was fight with herself on whether or not to say something.

_"I've only known you for a short time Rosalie and in that short time I've come to realize you were one to never gold your tongue so just say what's on your mind."_ I sighed while running my fingers through my hair.

_"There are so many things I want to say to you Edward but now is not a good time to lay them on you."_ she paused and I nodded my head in understanding.

Now wasn't a good time at all I thought as my mind drifted back to Ashley

_"The one thing I will tell you is that I know your I'm the outs with your family but I wanted you to know I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to Edward"_

This was definitely not what I expected her to say_ "Why?"_

_"The first thing I'll assure you of is that I have no ulterior motives also that I cannot tell you all the reasons why. All I will say is she cannot take anymore hurt. Bella right now appears to be strong and I know that you're the reason why. However you and I both know that any minute now those well constructed wall she has up is going to drop and drop really hard. Once those walls drop Bella is going to be a ducking wreck and is going to be in a place where no one can reach her also she's going to lash out one the one person she cares for the most"_ Rosalie had said slyly while looking me pointy in the eye like she was trying to communicate so hidden message to me

_"You still didn't say the reasons why you're willing to be there for me?"_

Rosalie shook her head and laughed _"If I have to tell you all the reasons why then maybe I was wrong about you. Just look deep within yourself and you'll see why I'll go out on the deep end for you. My offer still stands Edward. Oh and Edward this is going to be so much harder in Bella than everything. I don't know how much Bella told you about their birth nor am I not going to say much because it isn't my story to tell but this WILL cause a relapse."_ She said before walking back into the waiting room leaving me to decipher her words

What the hell happened when Bella gave birth to them. I wanted those answers more than anything but I knew I wouldn't get them now.

I stood in the doorway observing everything and the sight of Bella and AJ sadden me the most.

To an outsider it'll appear to be nothing but a mother holding her child lovingly; however to someone in the know the telltale signs are there. This was a person clinging onto her last shred of hope.

Bella looked up at that moment meeting my eyes and I already saw the emptiness setting-up shelter within them.

I just prayed she'll be strong enough to pull through this when the other shoe dropped which for some reason I knew it would be soon.

She whispered something to AJ and I saw him ask her something while she motion her head yes.

Next thing I knew AJ was in my arms and I was holding him tightly to my chest.

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**BPOV**

I saw Rosalie come back into the waiting room and giving Emmett displeasing glances. I briefly wondered what that was about until she looked at me pointedly and flicker her eyes to the doorway.

Edward

Edward didn't leave?

As much hope this revelation brought me I still knew I had to keep him at bay. Afterall he is still suing me for custody of my children and believes all that slander about me that Alice has feed him

_Not now Bella. Ashley. Think of Ashley_ I scolded myself mentally

I saw AJ look at Edward longingly and even though I didn't want to let him go just yet I wasn't the only one who needed his comfort today.

"_You can go over to him if you want"_ I whispered into his ear

AJ turned to look at me asking if I was sure.

I swear sometimes my children are too tuned in to my emotions and know when I need them the most.

"_Of Course Angel" _I said kissing his forehead before he shot out my lap into his father's arms.

The sight of that stabbed me deep in my heart.

Rosalie came and sat down next to me when she saw me looking at them.

"_Don't give up on that Bella"_ She said motioning towards them at the door

I knew exactly what she was talking about but I knew I couldn't allow myself to go down that path it'll only lead to more heartache and pain

Yes I love him but I cannot love him enough for the both of us and I love myself more.

"_There's nothing there to give up on"_ I said looking at her sadly. I know she didn't believe me but she didn't push the subject any further.

"_This with Ashley is bringing back unwanted memories isn't it?"_ She whispered dejectedly

"_Yes"_ I replied as the tears streaked down silently

My little Angels, my gift for up above.

I'm by far a religious person but I knew my children's lives were a blessing.

He spared their lives when they were born only to try to take one back now

'_He can't have them back'_ I thought to myself

Those days where I stayed away from NICU will always haunt me.

I fought those memories back down and turned my attention back to Rose _"I cannot lose her Rosalie I don't know if I can survive that kind of lost."_

Rose hugged me close to her and whispered into my ear _"Don't start thinking like that Bella. I'm not going to allow you to give up. You're strong babes and you've got to keep up fighting. Fight for Ashley, fight for AJ and most importantly fight for your heart's desire. I witness something earlier and I'm not going to tell you exactly what but that man still loves you. He just doesn't know it yet or scared to admit it and Bella it's never too late unless you give in without fighting."_

I wanted to respond to what she said but I didn't have the strength to argue anymore and I had to push aside everything to deal with Ashley's illness.

"_Dr Cullen and Mrs. Cullen"_ I heard someone call while I was in Rosalie's embrace

"_It's Miss, were not married."_ I heard Rosalie sigh beside me and I thought I saw something flash in Edward's eyes when I made the correction. While the doctor looked between us weirdly. He's been calling us that all day and now I choose to correct it.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I focus my attention on Dr. Lavery

"_Well…Um were done with the testing of Ashley and I see your son is here as well so we'd like to do a quick blood test on him like we discussed earlier. After that I'll like to discuss the results and treatment routes for Ashley."_

Edward's eyes met mine and we both nodded our heads in understanding as we walked out the waiting room together with our son following Dr. Lavery

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**A/N**

**Oh Emmett what have you done?**

**Well as promised I showed you who on Team Bella reaches out to Edward**

**Next Chapter we find out just how sick Ashley is which in turns causes Bella to lash out and breaks down. It will also be in both Edward's and Bella's POV**

**In chapter 2 more chapters it has all kinds of……Yeah I not gonna reveal just keep in mind that's where the M rating comes in ;-)**

**Also I notice when I update on weekends I lose some of my reviewers should I only update on weekdays?**

**FYI**

**New Moon Trailer….. Sorry to say this but just the glimpse of that New Moon trailer has me think New Moon is going to be so much better than Twilight.**

**I mean Catherine did a good job and all but Chris looks like he stepped it up to a whole new level.**

**Oh my good Rob looked all kinds of doable during the awards and Kristen had her Bella moment dropping the Award. For some reason know I think it was planned LOL**

**I like the opening of the awards "If you play Edward Cullen put your hands up" **

**Kristen is one lucky bitch**


	33. Note

Sorry for the fake-out which you guys should know this is the first time I've ever done this so again my apologies.

The reason for this note is because I wanted to take the time and let you guys know that this story is now going to be Beta by _**Laurajaexo. **_She is in the process of going through the older chapters and I'm currently working on chapter 33-34 at this current moment.

I want to take this time to answer any questions you guys may have about the story and I want to know any suggestions you may have about future chapters.

The last few chapters have been packing lots of emotions and real eye openers. I know plenty of you were shock about Tanya's POV but her POV was mainly to set up something that's going to happen possibly in chapter 35. Some of you may have figure out what though since I did hint to it very subtly within the last chapter.

Another reason for this note is that I received an interesting PM for someone and I'll keep it nameless but they wrote how they don't like my story because of how I portray Alice.

My response to that is _**"To each his own"**_

I will say though that I choose to write Alice this way because in basically all the Fanfic Alice is written so goodie too shoeish, an extremely shopaholic with no care in the world unless it's about fashion or hooking up someone or meddle in her friends lives.

Make no mistake I love the character Alice however but for the sake of this story **ALICE IS 100% EVIL WITH NO CHANCE OF REDEMPTION.**

I will be taking something from the Twilight Series and apply it to the story towards the end though. Yes it involves Alice but I cannot say anything because I'll be revealing too much.

Feel free to reply to this if you want and I know I say this to you guys whenever you review but I want to say it again **I truly do appreciate all the reviews and support I've gotten so far with this story. You guys are the BEST.**


	34. Breaking Bella Pt 2

**As you guys know I have a Beta now however this chapter is being submitting without my Beta reviewing it I just felt so bad for not updating in awhile that I just couldn't wait.**

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**BPOV**

After the doctor ran the test on AJ I saw that it was getting late and I knew I wasn't leaving the hospital anytime soon._ "Rosalie can you take AJ home with you?"_

"_You know you never have to ask but are you sure you want me to leave? I can drop him off at Ange and come back here if you like?" _

"_Yeah Rosie I'm sure. If anything I'll call you okay?" _Even as I reassured her I realize I didn't know how much truth my statement held. I wasn't sure about anything anymore

She looked at me skeptically before kissing me and I saw her hug Edward whispering something to him. I don't know what she said but he answered _"With my life"_ as he looked directly into my eyes.

Once everyone left I pulled my legs up into the chair and wrap my arms around them rocking back and forth staring at absolutely nothing in particular.

I felt when Edward sat next to me but I never acknowledge him

"_Bella"_ He began however I just shook my head because I didn't want to talk right now. Talking would just bring to surface everything I don't want to face right now like my little girl has leukemia and then Edward… No, no I cannot go there right now it'll hurt too much.

He exhaled loudly before whispering _"We'll get through this together Bella, no matter what I'm here for you."_

I wanted to believe him, I really do but I couldn't allow myself to hope. I was done putting that much trust into Edward.

"_Bella I know you don't want to talk but Rosalie mentioned something in passing about the Ashley's and AJ's birth she didn't give any details but I was curious what exactly happen."_

I froze up as soon as the words left his mouth.

"_You never looked through the package I gave you."_ I stated the obvious once my initial shock wore off.

"_I looked at it the first day and ended up putting in my trunk and forgot about it up until this afternoon when I was cleaning out my car."_ He replied sheepishly

"_Figures" _I mumbled harshly more to myself

I turned my head slightly his direction and took a deep breath as I became telling him about the day I almost lost everything worth living for.

_FLASHBACK _

_Even heavily sedated I knew something was wrong. The first baby was out and the room was silent as another contraction ripped through me._

_However it was the silence that was causing the most pain._

_"Why" I slurred but no one was answering_

_"Isabella you have to calm down and push. You still have another baby to push out"_

_"NO" I screamed as another contraction soared though "Why is my baby not crying?" I shouted_

_"Isabella you have to push please this stress isn't good for you and the baby"_

_"THEN ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION" I shrieked_

_As unbearable pain shot through me and I heard my heart monitors beep rapidly._

_But all too soon the sounds began to blend together as I vaguely heard someone saying she's coding before everything went black._

_I felt weightless as I floated through this black fog. _

_When I woke up u was completely out of it and didn't know night from day but most important I didn't know the fate of my children._

_My hands immediately went to my stomach and i began clawing at the fabric that was covering me. I was torn apart with so many emotions; but the one emotion I felt the most was emptiness._

_I was so wrapped up within myself that I didn't even know someone was in the room with me until they pulled my hands away from my stomach._

_I looked and saw it was Rosalie that was restraining my hands from causing anymore damage to myself._

_I had finally found my voice to ask the most important question "Where are my babies?"_

_When I asked her that question her face fell and her eyes got all misty. The only words I heard her say was "I sorry Bella..."_

_I tuned everything out after that and once again became hysterical because I took her expression and the "I'm sorry" to me that my babies were dead and that I killed them_

_I kept mumbling repeatedly "There gone and it's all my fault"_

_Eventually a nurse or doctor not really sure which came to sedate me_

_While sedated I had nightmares with my mother's face taunting me about how weak I was that I could even bring my children into the world without killing them._

_When I woke up a few hours later was when I learnt what was wrong with my babies._

_Ashley was the first one born and she was born with an infection in her lungs and was in critical condition._

_The doctors had to perform an emergency cesarean in order to get AJ out. Due to my stress, my heartbeat was too high and because his heartbeat was drop fast. Not to mention I passed out._

_The doctors were very grim and told me it'll be a miracle if Ashley survived the night because she had already coded twice._

_I was wheeled up to NICU and it broke my heart seeing Ashley with all those wires and not being able to breathe on her own…_

_FLASHBACK ENDS_

"_Dr Cullen and Ms Cullen" _Someone called out effectively cutting me off. I looked away from Edward to see Dr Lavery standing in the doorway.

I wiped my tears as we stood up to greet Dr Lavery.

We began following him back to his office. With every step that we took towards his office my chest felt tight and breathing became extremely difficult.

Upon entering the doctor's office I felt like my life as I knew it was falling apart. I held up a good front so far but I knew it was only a matter of time before my walls crumble.

"_I wish I had better news for you guys. Through our testing it was reveal that Ashley leukemia is at an advance stage. Again from the information we've gather and what you've provided Ms Cullen, Her illness can possibly date back to when she was originally anemia._

_We believe if we do an aggressive chemotherapy session we might be able to give her a fighting chance which we believe the best route would be to use the most common drug treatment for Ashley's type of Cancer._

_The most common drug treatment plan used to treat AML is the combination of 3 days of an anthracycline (e.g., daunorubicin, doxorubicin) and 7 days of ara-C. This plan is known as the three-plus-seven method. We'll also be adding the drug 6-thioguanine to the mix._

_Daunorubicin: intravenously (IV), the drug is delivered into the veins as well as Doxorubicin and Cytarabine. The duration for these treatments is given as 3 days of anthracycline (daunorubicin, doxorubicin) plus 7 days of Cytarabine._

_And of course with any treatment regimen there are side effects; such as with Daunorubicin - myelosuppression (impaired bone marrow function), cardiotoxicity (heart damage), gastrointestinal effects; doxorubicin - cardiotoxicity, worsening of symptoms caused by other drugs; Cytarabine - gastrointestinal effects (nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea), bleeding, and fever."_

"_I'm sorry can you dumb it down a bit for those of us who don't speak doctor"_ I said bitterly

"_I'm sorry Ms Cullen what I was basically saying is that Ashley will NEED to go through an aggressive chemotherapy treatment to fight her Cancer, while it's not terminal the consequences high due to the lateness of catching Ashley's illness. She'll be schedule for chemotherapy treatments in the beginning for 7 days a week as well as other different types of medications. If she see improvement after her initial round of Chemo we'll slowly bring her treatments for by a day;_ _However if she doesn't respond well to chemo and the various transplants she's going to need Ashley's chance of surviving is extremely slim. I diagnosis a year at the most but I think she should cross that bridge yet until she see how she responses to her first round of chemo._

_Also I know this maybe too much to ask of you guys right now but Ashley's chance of surviving with chemo can very well improve if her twin brother were to be her donor that is if he's a complete match._

_I must forewarn though if your son were to be a donor there's possible dangers involved for him as well."_

Seriously did I piss off someone in another life for all this shit to be happening to me? First my worthless parents mistreated me which led to a downward spiral of craziness, Asshole boyfriends, and then I lose the one thing that kept me sane throughout my darkness. Then Fate decides to intervene by making the person I lost a permanent fixture in my life by making me pregnant with twins.

But no that was enough; I had to watch my infant daughter struggle for her life while dealing with my own depressions. Then when I finally actually have my life in order except for one missing piece Fate makes it presences known by bring that missing piece back into my life. I should be happy that The Fates brought him back into my life and I was partially in the beginning. I knew we had loads of shit to work through till we would be okay but I was more than willing to do it and just when I thought things were looking up between us even though we'll never be together as a couple The motherfucking Fates decides to kick me in the ass again with this custody battle.

Seriously who the fuck did I piss off in another life and now my little girl is fighting for her life all over again with high possibility of dying.

They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle but no offense I cannot handle this. It's just too much. I'm paying for all my past sins. This is my punishment for everything I've done. I'm a horrible person and the worst kind of mother who didn't realize how sick her little girl truly was.

I was pulled out my mental berating by Edward attempting to console me. I didn't even realize I had become hysterical. Too much, I cannot deal with this and most importantly I didn't want Edward's comfort because I don't deserve it. It's my entire fault

"_Oh my god it's all my fault."_ I began mumbling as I looked up at Edward.

He was looking at me with wild concern eyes full of sympathy but I didn't deserve it.

"_Ashley is paying for my sins with her life again."_

"_I'm the worst kind of person"_ I mumbled

Edward moved to wrap his arm around me but I shook out of his embrace

"_No No No you win"_ I shouted

"_Bella shhh you're not making any sense"_

"_Don't you see it's my entire fault? Ashley wouldn't be here if I was so fucked up. I ruin everything I touch."_ I mumbled as I ran out the hospital not even knowing where I was going.

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**EPOV**

I stay there looking the direction Bella ran looking dumbfounded…

What the hell just happen?

I knew taking in the news for Ashley prognosis is extremely hard but something tells me this has more to do with Ashley.

And why the hell does she mean by _"You Win"_

I broke out my stupor and decided to run after Bella after all she couldn't have gotten that far.

I made it downstairs just in time to see Bella drive off in a cab.

_**Fuck **_I shouted getting sideward glances from people going into the hospital.

I pulled out my cell and called the one person that could help. I didn't even wait for her to say hello when she answered

_"Rosalie we have a problem. Bella ran out the hospital after we got Ashley's prognosis not before mumbling off about something."_

"_Shit! Tell me exactly what happened"_ She demanded

"_I don't even know where to begin. The doctor just finish telling us Ashley's prognosis and course of treatment and Bella just became void. Then all of a sudden she snaps out of her reverie and just begins mumbling_ _"it's all her fault, Ashley's paying for her sins, and you win"_

"_Fuck she's giving up Edward"_

"_What do you mean she's giving up?"_

"_Bella's blaming herself for missing the signs and for Ashley being sick; also as far as the 'you win' comment goes just think about Edward. She's giving up fighting you for custody."_

"_Fuck Rosalie we have to find her. Bella wasn't herself when she left the hospital and I'm afraid she might end up doing something to hurt herself. Rosalie you didn't see her before she sprinted off."_

"_Edward, take a deep breath right now okay. Now I'm going to call Angela to come and watch AJ so I can help you for Bella."_

"_I don't even know where to begin to look. I'm worried about her Rosalie." _I sighed dejectedly

"_I know Edward, I know. We'll find her." _

_"Meet me at her house and we'll go from there."_

_"Okay see you in a few."_

Rosalie and I drove around separately looking for Bella and we both came up with a dead-end.

She wasn't at her house, any parks, or local bars. Hell we even looked at the bus depot.

We returned back to Bella's house after endless search for her for the last 5hours.

_"Still no luck" _I asked Rosalie when she greeted me at Bella's door.

_"No" She replied sadly_

_"Besides you guys do you know anyone else she probably contacts?"_

Rosalie looked deep in thought before see replied _"no"_

I just began pacing while running my hands through my hair.

_"Wait a minute. Jacob" _Rosalie exclaimed

I stopped pacing and just stared at Rosalie_ "Whose Jacob? I thought Bella doesn't date?"_

_Rosalie just rolled her eyes at me "Don't get your panties in a brunch lover boy Bella doesn't date. Jacob is someone she met recently and he sort of took her to his hotel while she was unconscious..."_

_"WHAT" _I roared effectively cutting her off

_"Whoa, down boy maybe I worded it wrong but in a sense that's what he did. It was the day Bella got served and she broke down in her car and he took her back to his hotel. Bella says she woke up alone and fully clothed. Once she was awake she says they just talked and I believe Bella when she says nothing happen." she finished_

_"Do you have a way of contacting him and is her trustworthy or better how much does he know about Bella's life?"_

Rosalie got up and put her hand on my shoulders._ "Look Edward I know you're worried about Bella and you have to trust me when I say Bella won't let anyone into her or her children life if she cannot trust them completely. Bella knows my stance on this matter with her and Jacob. Bella believes him to be a friend with an outsider's perspective on the things she chooses to disclose which I'm under the impression it's just the custody hearing."_

I nodded my head taking in everything she said but something in her comment she didn't really answer fully_ "What is your stance on this matter between her and this Jacob person?"_

_"I don't trust him" _She said simply

I looked at her waiting for her to continue._ "What man takes an unconscious person to their hotel room instead of a hospital? Bella normally has a good judge of character but not when she's vulnerable. And I personally feel his up to something that can end up hurting Bella."_

_"Do you know what hotel he's staying at?"_

_"No. Bella wouldn't give out much information about him. Hell I only found out about him because he called her cell while she was at my house. Look I have to get back to get AJ ready for school. Why don't you go home and get some rest? Bella will show up and if anything I can almost guarantee you that she'll be at the hospital today."_

I went home afterwards and found it extremely hard to sleep. Bella's disappearance reminded me too much of the last time Bella just disappeared into thin air. As I was attempting to sleep something occurred to me. I jumped out of bed not even bothering putting on a shirt or even grabbing something to put on my feet as I dashed out the door and into my car, I knew where to find Bella.

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A/N

Ok I've never done this before but being as I have updated in awhile I'm treating you guys to a sneak preview of the next chapter _**~ My Immortal**__ (If you know the song you know next chapter is going to be emotional as hell)_

_**Sneak Preview (Not Necessarily in correct order, POV and Context)**_

_I wanted all the hurt to go away as I ran._

_Eventually my clumsiness reared its ugly head as I fell onto my knees and I just gave into my misery as I bent over letting out my angry tears_

_How could I make that decision to risk one child's life with the slim possibility of saving another's?_

_"Why Edward? Why do bad things keep happen to me? Don't I deserve happiness? Why is my children being punish because of me?"_

_I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into a passionate kiss which he returned instantaneously._

_"Edward I love you. Please don't leave me you're all I have left besides our children."_

_Rosalie stood up and gave me a hug catching me off guard. "Thank you finding her. I know you two have a lot to work through and even though she may push you away due to custody hearing, Ashley being sick and among other things. Don't let her. She's worth it and for what it's worth from during the last 24hrs of watching closely with her at the hospital so are you."_

_During our nights at the beach we never spoke we just laid in the sand listening waves crashing_ _against the rocks and the wind blowing wildly._

_**~End of Preview~**_

Yes wicked. I know……

Sorry it took like forever to get this Chapter out. I have no excuse because most of it has been finish for awhile but I promise no more delays. I also wanted to say I submitted this chapter without my Beta going through it to edit because I need to let you guys knows I didn't abandon this story.

_Laurajaexo_ is starting from the beginning of the story with the editing process so please be patient (New Readers mainly)

_I'm currently have up to chapter 5 chapters __**ALMOST**__ done. (See even in my absences of updating I've been on a writing frenzy and I must say this story is overdue for some steaminess the question is from who:_

_Jacob and Bella?_

_Edward and Bella?_

_Rosalie and Emmett?_

_Jasper and Alice?_

_Alice and Jacob?_

_Angela and ???_

_I KNOW WHO AND I'M NOT TELLING…… LMAO_

_Chat with you guys soon_

_Sara_


	35. My Immortal

**My Immortal**

**Another update that was NOT checked by my Beta**

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**BPOV**

After I got out the cab I ran to the one place that would comfort me.

It just hurt too much...

I wanted all the hurt to go away as I ran.

Eventually my clumsiness reared its ugly head as I fell onto my knees and I just gave into my misery as I bent over letting out my angry tears

I couldn't be there anymore, everything was just too much.

The doctors' words shattered me more than Edward suing for full custody of my children.

Less than a year! How the fuck do you prepare for something like that?

How do I look at my little girl of better yet hold do I tell her she's dying?

Why? I shouted falling down into sand as the water cascade around me.

She's supposed to have a full life ahead of her. She suppose to finish high school go to college, marry, have children, go old and then at some point in her adult life bury me. A mother should not have to bury their child.

"_Please take me instead, let me have her illness!"_ I shouted as I laid down as the cold water blanket me.

I lived through her almost dying when she was born barely. I know I'm not strong enough this time around. Not only do I have to worry about Ashley I have to worry about AJ a well.

If he's a viable match for his sister there's possibility that through his various donation to Ashley he might get sick or possible infections, that'll compromise his health.

How could I make that decision to risk one child's life with the slim possibility of saving another's?

I dug my hand into the wet sand wondering how a mother chooses between something like this; as my tears began to flow freely.

My clothes were wet and I began shivering but I just didn't even give a damn anymore.

I don't know how long I laid there crying as the ocean water blanket me in the middle of the night.

I swore I heard someone calling out my name but I figured it was just my imagination or the cold finally getting to me.

My eyes were beginning to get heavy but I fought the heaviness as I rose from my position and walked further out into the ocean.

I walked out until the water came up to my waist and closed my eyes praying for a miracle.

_"Bella"_ I heard someone shout again but I paid it no mind. I just wanted to be left alone in my own misery.

I heard the splashing of the water coming from behind me before I felt someone's arms wrap around me, pulling me into them.

I knew who it was that pulled me into their arms but I couldn't help it as I turned around and lashed out in his arms. _"Why damnit? Why does this shit keep happen to me? Why was I never enough?_ I sobbed

My whole body began to shiver in his embrace as my legs gave way underneath me.

_"Oh goodness Bella let me get you to somewhere warm."_

I was too weak to respond as my eyes begun to flutter shut.

No sooner as my eyes begun to shut I felt gentle taps against my face.

_"No Bella keep your eyes open. Stay with me Bells. We'll get through every time together."_

_"Edward?"_ I croaked

_"Yes Bella. I'm here let me get you back to my car so I can get you warm"_

_"Why Edward? Why do bad things keep happen to me? Don't I deserve happiness? Why is my children being punish because of me?"_

_"Shhh Bella"_ I heard Edward say as he wrapped a blanket around me and putting me into his passenger seat. Before running to the driver side and putting the heat on full blast

I woke up the next morning truly don't knowing what part was real and what part was a dream?

I thought I heard Rosalie's voice at one point. I even believe at one point I was put into the tub filled with hot water and I think I recalled Edward lifting me out the tub.

However this is where the confusion began because I swore as Edward took me out the tub, I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him into a passionate kiss which he returned instantaneously.

**EPOV**

Bella's actions as I took her out of the bath tub shock me. I've only once ever experience a kiss as passionate as that and that was when she had given herself to me, all those years ago.

After we pulled apart I put her robe on her and placed her in the warmth of her bed.

And if I thought her kissing me was shocking. As I was leaving the room she called out to me in her sleep. _"Edward"_ Bella always talked in her sleep but the words she said left my stunned beyond belief._ "Why am I not enough for you? Please stop hurting me. Edward I love you. Please don't leave me you're all I have left besides our children."_

As much as her words swell my heart I knew everything that happen Bella wouldn't remember it and it she did she'll think it was a dreamlike hallucination, afterall that is one of the side effects for hyperthermia even though hers was mild.

"_How is she?"_ Rosalie called out as I walked down the stairs

_"She was in and out of consciousness but she's resting now. Her color is returning and her body temperature is back to normal. __I wish I can say she'll be back to her normal self once she wakes up but we both know that won't be the case."_

Rosalie just nodded her head sadly before she got a thoughtful look in her eyes _"How did you know to look for her at the beach?"_

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed _"some things never change"_

Rosalie nodded her head motioning me to continue

_"It was our thing growing up. Sometimes she would climb into my window and crawl into my bed in hysterical crying fits. Other times I'll get a text message from her around midnight telling me to meet her at the beach._

_During our nights at the beach we never spoke we just laid in the sand listening waves crashing_ _against the rocks and the wind blowing wildly. __That was on mild nights of her demons as she used to call them. In bad nights she run into the water despite the weather and cry out why? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? __I would stand by holding her while she let everything out or until her body succumbed to the coldness which came first. __After such outbursts Bella was always in a better mood. Like some burden has been lifted off of her and the dullness that was always in her eyes was gone whenever we were at the beach._

_It was like she came to some sort of peace and understanding. One__ night after she had such outburst I was curious. Well I've always been curious however this was the first time I'd voiced my curiosity. __So I asked her what it was about first beach that brings such emotions out of her. __Bella didn't speak for a long time after I asked. She just continued to look out into the darkness as she wiggled her toes in the tide._

_After awhile she turned to me and said "I feel no pain here. It's not First Beach itself but the ocean in general. The ocean is never-ending even though different aspects my change may change its patterns such as the seasons and the moon. It still is a sea of never-ending possibilities. And for some reason sitting here or lashing out my anger in the water makes me feel closer to God." I paused for a moment before continuing_

_"She then said in her next breathe 'I know I'm not a big believe in God but I have to believe there is a reason I go through what I do. And even though shouting or throwing rocks doesn't give me no definite answers it gives me some sort of peace. This may sound crazy but I swear once I felt someone hold me telling me to let out the pain. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I've got a guardian angel but the one thing I do know the ocean gives me clarity. And besides you it's the only constant in my life worth anything.'_ I finished

Rosalie stood up and gave me a hug catching me off guard. _"Thank you finding her. I know you two have a lot to work through and even though she may push you away due to custody hearing, Ashley being sick and among other things. Don't let her. She's worth it and for what it's worth from during the last 24hrs of watching closely with her at the hospital so are you!"_

She said as she went to grab her keys as I let her words sink in.

"_I dropped the whole custody hearing"_ I blurted out

_"I know"_ she replied with a cryptic smile

_"I'm heading back home to get AJ ready for school once I get him up in a few hours. Can you stay with her till I come back?"_

_"Of course"_

_"Thanks see you in a bit"_ she responded as she headed out the door

I went back upstairs and sat in the chaise watching Bella sleep before drifting off to sleep.

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A/N

**Yes this chapter is extremely short but it sets up loads of drama within next chapter. Next Chapter is called **_**"Release, Giving into Temptation"**_**and will be extremely long word count at 9k so far and I'm not finish yet. APOV, BPOV and Edwards**

**The chapter following the next will be in the following POV'S Alice (?), Rosalie (?) Jacob, Bella and Edward and is called **_**The Aftermath**_** and will have a timeline jump in it towards the end.**

_**Sneak Peek **__**(Not Necessarily in correct order, POV and Context)**_

_Fuck remorse I'll deal with that shit in the morning_

"_He's not gonna fall for the same bullshit again about my assistant. I love him and I refuse to lose him so my part is done. I'm finish Alice and I warn you if you attempt to screw me over by telling Edward my part in this just remember I have shit on you."_

_It was starting to piss me off everything was going according to plan and then that little brat goes and get sick with fucking leukemia._

_Umm Pleasure first business later I purred into his ear licking the inside of his lobe._

"_Is that all you got? I can fuck myself rougher with my fingers or with a dildo."_

_I put the bottle to my lips in attempt to take away the pain of it all. Fuck being strong, I'm too weak for this shit._

_**End of Peek**_

**_So any guess whose POTTY MOUTH that is at the end of the Sneak Peek?_**

_**In future chapters**_

_**Possible Kidnapping (?) jury still out give me your opinion**_

_**Someone gets Arrest**_

_**Edward gets a black eye**_

_**Rosalie goes off on someone (AND ITS NOT EDWARD)**_

_**Someone might be drugging Bella**_

_**Okay enough of my teasers**_

**_Also please check out my new story "Learning How To Breathe Again_**


	36. Release, Giving Into Temptation

**Okay so this chapter is…… Ah……Um……Yeah……. Why this story is RATED M**

**I Think I'll leave the explanations with the statement above so proceed with warning and you have been **_**WARNED **_**especially for the last POV which will cause some wetness…..**

**AGAIN YOU'VE BEEN WARNED**

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**EPOV**

I didn't even realize I fell asleep till Rosalie nudged me on my shoulder.

_"Why don't you go home and get some rest."_ she suggested

I just nodded my head in agreement and began walking out the room. _"Edward"_

Rosalie called out

I turned to look at her _"For what it's worth thank you for finding her and doing everything that you did. I might be the one she turns to nowadays but you'll always be the one that knows her the best. See you at the hospital later."_

I didn't even know what to say to that so I just gave her a small smile as I headed out to my car. I got into my car driving straight home.

Once inside I didn't even bother turning on any lights and was going to head straight upstairs to my bedroom when a voice stopped me.

"_Edward?"_ A voice called out from the living room

I walked towards the living room and as I entered the light flicked on. Tanya was curl up onto the couch with puffy eyes and a blotchy face.

"_Are you alright?"_ I asked her

She ignored my question _"Where were you all night I was worried about you?"_

I really didn't want to deal with this right now I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"_You were with Bella weren't you."_ She stated. I was a bit shock because this was the first time Tanya has ever mention Bella by her name, it was either 'Her', 'Bitch', or something offensive along those lines.

"_Yes I was over at Bella's"_ I replied

"_Did you sleep with her?" _I looked at her shocked that she would come to that conclusion but then again in circumstances like these I can understand where she'll draw that conclusion from.

"_No Tanya, Bella and I did not sleep together. She didn't take the news too well about Ashley's prognosis and Ending up running out of the hospital. Rosalie and I spent hours looking for her. I came home once we couldn't find her but as I was trying to sleep I remember something about our childhood and knew a few more places where she may have been. I ended up finding her at the beach and she had a mild case of hypothermia. I took her home nursed her back to help and stay with her till Rosalie came back from dropping AJ off at school"_

Tanya nodded her head looking at me thoughtfully_ "Do you love her?"_

"_What kind of question is that Tanya? Of course I love her."_

She shook her head _"No I mean are you IN love with her?"_

I thought hard about her question because Tanya deserves honesty. Throughout the years I thought I was over but it took seeing her years later to realize I truly did still had feelings for her. I thought about the kiss we shared when we took the children out, the pain I inflicted on her, the advice both Esme and Rosalie given me. Then I thought about earlier this morning how I was restless because I couldn't find Bella, I thought about how happy I was once I found her when she was safe in my arms, I thought about the kiss we shared in her bathroom and then I thought about the words she said in her unconscious slumber.

"_I don't believe I ever stopped loving Bella. We never had closure and I just ended burying my feelings for her so deeply that I thought I was no longer in love with her."_ I replied and my heartfelt lighter by confessing that.

"_Do you still love me?"_ She asked hopefully

"_Yes"_ I replied just because I know I'm in love with Bella doesn't mean I stop loving the woman that spent the last few years with.

"_Is your love for me enough?"_ She replied sadly

"_I don't know"_ I replied honestly

Tanya got off the sofa nodding her head. She place he hands on my cheek before giving me a peck on the lips. She pulled back wiping away hear tears, reaching for my hand placing something in it before saying _"This is for the best"_

I opened my hand seeing the engagement ring I given her_ "Why are you giving this back I asked?"_

"_While I know you love me. I see the love between you two. It's much deeper than what we share. I know what it's like to lose the one you love and what kind of person would I be if I stand in the way of the love you two shares. I've done a lot of things that I've regretted and will live to regret in life; but loving you and now letting you go is not nor will it ever be one of them. I've hurt you in ways you cannot even imagine. I will not till you the ways I've hurt you at this moment because I want to remember the look of love in your eyes for me."_

"_Take care Edward."_ She whispered as she walked out of my home and out of my life.

Is it wrong that it didn't hurt as she walked out the door?

**APOV (Alice Cullen)**

Getting kick out the hospital didn't faze me but now that bitch Rosalie would pay too.

_Ring ring ring_

"_Hello"_

"_We have a problem"_

"_What the hell you mean we have a problem? Your task was fucking simply are you a goddamn retard or what?"_

"_Look I did everything accord to plan and I've been you fucking lackey for the last 4 years with this bullshit so don't give me your shit Alice because I'm sick of it."_

"_Well what exactly is the problem Tanya? Seriously I'm beginning to wonder why I even hired you to be with Edward."_

"_Whatever Alice, but he doesn't want to file for the custody any longer'_

"_So how exactly is that an issue he didn't want to the last time and you still managed to put the petition through?"_

"_He's not gonna fall for the same bullshit again about my assistant. I love him and I refuse to lose him so my part is done. I'm finish Alice and I warn you if you attempt to screw me over by telling Edward my part in this just remember I have shit on you."_

"_Again Tanya you threats are fucking empty have a god fucking day"_

_FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK _

_THAT LITTLE TWERP FUCKKKKKKKK_

I was starting to piss me off everything was going according to plan and then that little brat goes and get sick with fucking leukemia.

Now Edward decided not to push for this custody hearing. I wish I knew what was wrong with Ashley before I opened my big mouth because I know Edward is suspicious of me know, which means I have to back off for awhile.

I still needed Jasper because while Rose and Bella may not be talking to him his ex Angela keeps him in the loop.

With me backing off, JB needs to step up his game. I thought as I got out the shower.

I looked through my closet looking for something to wear when my cell phone start ringing.

I looked across the screen before answer

_"JB I was just thinking about you"_ I purred

_"You know I live to service you Alleykat."_

_"I should hope so"_ I said with a glint of mischief in my voice.

_"So I got you voicemail"_ He replied nonchalantly

_"Yes plans have change and I need to step back for awhile but you my dear need to step up. We don't have the four months for the custody hearing to work your way onto her life. Edward that idiot decided to go all noble and drop the fucking case."_

_"Now why the hell would he do that?"_

_"Sick child"_ I responded simply

_"Ah"_ was all he said

_"Meet me at your hotel in 15mins and we'll work out the kinks in the new plan."_ I said hanging up while putting on my coat and walking out my suite

Upon entered JB hotel room I just help myself as I dropped my coat walking towards him and trailing my hands down his ripped chest

Umm Pleasure first business later I purred into his ear licking the inside of his lobe. Before dropping down on my knees and taking his erect penis into my mouth. Causing to him to hiss out as be grabbed my head roughly slamming my face onto him.

Just he's actions alone was making me wet in my core that I began humming around his penis as he fucked my face viciously.

He suddenly flipped me upside at this angle I still had access to his cock. So I went back to what I was doing and just I put his penis back into my mouth he buried his face into my wet pussy and shoving three fingers into roughly causing me to scream out in ecstasy.

I allowed JB to dominate over me for the next hour as he brought me immense amount of pleasure.

_"That was fun"_ I said patting him on his chest

_"You sure know how to please a man Alleykat bet that pansy you dealing with can't do you like that."_

I laughed humorous with him and pouter _"You're right he's too fucking tender that's why I keep you around now let's get down to business."_

I went on explaining the details of the new plan and as I was telling him I realized that this plan was better than taking her kids away.

Because she lose them permanently and no one not even the ever so loyal Rosalie would want anything to do with her.

I smiled triumphantly as I got up to leave shout behind me _"Two months JB and whether you're close to her or not we put our plan in full motion. I already know you find her attraction however don't go falling for her either. Lord knows I shouldn't of gave Tanya that warn but look where that got me so for all that's holy DON'T FALL FOR HER…She seems to have that charm on men so keep you dick in your pants for now."_

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_**Few Weeks Later**_

**BPOV**

I looked at Edward as he took the shot of Tequila across from me where he stood leaning against my kitchen Isle. I licked my lips as he put the lemon into his mouth and kept eyeing him as if he was my prey. I wanted to provoke him for some reason so I reached for the bottle.

Edward immediately pulled it away from me but I kept reaching for it. _"Bella you don't want to do this" _he said

"_Why not?" _I demanded _"How could one shot possible hurt me. My daughter is fucking fighting for her god damn life and we have to decide whether to use AJ as her donor at the cost of him getting sick or worst an infection. I think those things alone entitle me to a fucking drink."_ I said reaching for the bottle

Edward grabbed my hand that was reaching for the bottle rough while with his other hand he grab the bottle fling it against the wall behind him.

The sound of class breaking snapped something primal from deep within me and I slapped him hard across the face with my free hand. _"What the fuck was that for Bella?" _he hissed

And I raised my hand slapping him again. I slapped him about to times before Edward got over his shock of my actions. He stood in front of me grabbing me. My back was against the wall while his hands were holding in place on the wall by my arms. _"I'm not letting you go until you snap out of this Bella" _He shouting

I glared at him defiantly and moved my face closer to his before biting and sucking down on his bottom lip. I truly don't know what gotten into me but I just couldn't help myself once I started attacking him.

Edward pushed me into the wall hard attempt to break contact of attacking his bottom lip but his actions only egged me on, as I snaked my fingers into his hair pulling it rougher away from me all while still biting on his bottom lip.

I finally let go of his lip and looked him deep in the eyes. I wasn't continuing my little game unless I knew he wanted me too because I'll be damn if I end up rape him.

I saw nothing but lust and another emotion I rather not acknowledge at this moment deep within his eyes. Edward bend down capturing my lips not kissing me but biting me just as I had bit him. I pushed him back up against the kitchen isle while wrapping my legs around his waist.

Somehow I ended laying on my kitchen isle and Edward reached over behind me grabbing something. When he pulled his hand back I saw a knife in his hand, my breathe hitched and a shock was sent through my body directly to my core as Edward whispered in a husky voice _"Be very still Bella"_

I nodded my head as he used the knife to cut my shirt and shorts that I had on. I moaned as I felt the cold blade against my skin when he place the knife under the front of my bra cutting it the front of my bra, however leaving the damage bra still on. He repeated the same steps with panties but instead of cutting them off from the front he cut the off from the sides.

I didn't even realize Edward had already taken all of his clothes off until he flipped me over onto my stomach on the kitchen isle with one leg propped up, and thrusting into me rough in one shot. Yes I scream mental _FUCK FOREPLAY_ as incoherent words escaped my lips due to his actions "_Aaaaahhhh!" _I cried out causing him to still within

No I whimpered to myself. I didn't want slow and gentle, I wanted rough damnit. I cannot get my release through cutting myself or drinking so this is the only way I could get it. And I need Edward to be the one to give it to me, because if I was going to take out my emotions, tension and frustrations out on someone during sex it was going to be him. I know it was wrong using him this way but I needed this and damnit from the looks of it so does Edward.

Edward had yet to I wanted to feel more so I egged him on.

"_Is that all you got? I can fuck myself rougher with my fingers or with a dildo."_

That did it as he slammed into me from behind harder as he grabbed the back on the bra in which he cut the front already with one hand and fucked me hard.

The straps of the bra was digging into my skin but I was too far gone to even care as he thrust into me harder without mercy making me scream out "_FUCK."_

One of his hands ghosted around to my breast and he began pinching my nipples.

"_OH GOD"_ I cried out

He fist my hair into his hand pulling me into him and bit down unto my shoulder

"_MORE"_ I cried out as his thrusting became more frenetic

I was insatiable

I knew I would regret this in the morning but right now he was my release to let out my pain and anguish.

I will use his body for release just as I know he was using me as well.

Fuck remorse I'll deal with that shit in the morning I thought as I dug my nails into his flesh break skin causing him to hiss. But his hissing only amplified my arousal.

I was just about to cum when Edward pulled out and I whimpered at the lost _"Bastard" _I hissed under my beneath.

He knew what he was doing to me and he was fucking teasing me two can play that game I thought to myself as dropped down on my knees taking him into my mouth. I moan at the taste of his dick in my mouth with a mixer of my juices on it.

As I bobbed my head up and down on his long and thick dick Edward moaned deeply, especially once I started massaging his balls.

"_Oh God Bella"_ He grunted out as I began to deep throat him.

Edward calling out my name during such a primal act like this was sheer bliss and made me extremely euphoric

"_Fuck Baby"_ he cried out as my teeth scraped against his length

I took his dick out my mouth making a popping noise as I began stoking him with my hand. I got lower unto the floor positioning myself in between his legs opening up my mouth pulling one of his balls in.

"_FUCK"_ he hissed causing me to pump my hands around his dick vigorously

He began bucking into my hands hard and I stopped what I was doing _"YOU CANNOT CUM YET" _I demanded as I bit into his thigh

Edward began to pant breathless and it was music to my ears

"_Bella…… please……baby……I……Cannot…hold……It……much……longer"_ he moaned in a strangle voice.

I shot him a wicked grin before taking his dick deep into my mouth as far as it could reach, while massaging his balls with my hands.

Edward's grunts fuel my desire to make him cum hard. He tried lifting my face up off his dick so that he could cum but I kept swatting his hands out my way. _"Oh…."_ He whimpered as I began sucking harder

"_FUCK BABY PLEASE MOVE"_ he growl

I moaned _"NOOOOOOO"_ around his dick as I wrapped my hands around him pushing him into me leaving no room between us, as he shot his load straight down my throat.

I kept my cheeks hollow as I breathe out of my nose swallowing his salty treats.

"_Fuck"_ He whispered

"_That was fucking intense"_ He panting as I licked him clean

I smiled on my knees up to him as I began playing with my throbbing clit, _"You haven't seen intense yet baby we've all just begun" _I said in a low voice laced with lust as I rock into my hand that was rubbing up against my achy clit.

Edward's dick twitch at the sight of what I was doing

Edward began twisting my nipples between his fingers as I continue assaulting my clit. I took two of my fingers putting them into my mouth licking them. It wasn't because I needed any sort of lubrication but I tend to be a visual person and I wanted to remind Edward what my mouth just did to him.

"_Umm Edward"_ I whimpered as he got down on the flooring biting onto one of my nipples while twisting the other roughly.

"_I need to taste you"_ Edward whispered into my ear as his tongue darted out into my earlobe. Edward scooted me up into his arms carrying me into the living room. He began caressing me gently and that was not what I wanted at this minute.

"_Please don't be gentle make me forget everything going on right now"_ I begged

Edward looked at me with so emotion I could not decipher and I thought our time together was going to end until he spoke up in an authoritative voice _"Get on the couch on your knees with your back facing me."_

I looked at him smiling not having to be told twice what do to do.

As I got into position I felt Edward's hard come down hard unto my ass. I stung for a bit and immediately after the hit he began rubbing the same spot he just hit me, as soon as I got comfortable with the soothe he hit me again causing me to moan.

He hit me on my ass a few more times before pulling me by my waist positioning me so that I was dangling partly off of the sofa.

Once in position Edward spread my leads further apart. I turned to see what he was doing and I watch as he scooted as low as possible with his back leant against the couch with his head nestle between my thighs, I was in fucking heaven as his tongue darted out against my mound.

Edward used his fingers to part my lips as is tongue moisten my already damp hole. _"Ooohh, that feels soo good, uuhh"_ I moaned

Edward rammed two fingers within me without warning causing me to whimper _"OOOHHH!"_ while bucking downwards unto his fingers and tongue.

"_Ohh....Oh...arrrrr….mmphhhh.......Aaaaahhhh!"_ I cried out incoherently as Edward thrust another finger inside me and fucked me with his fingers vigorous

The sensations between his tongue and fingers were driving me right into an intense mind shattering orgasm. Edward then bit down onto my clit and I was gone _"Oh fuck yes, I'm so close, Oh ya....I...I'm gonna fucking cum….."_

I reached down lacing my gingers into his hair while I rid his face as my orgasm washed over me, Edward kept implying the pressure to my clit causing me to squirm as my juices flowed into his mouth.

He had panting and spinning, with my mind awash with satisfaction, as I continue to come hard…...

Edward didn't even give me a chance to come back down off me high because the next thing I knew he was standing up positioning himself at my entrance.

Edward drove his dick deep within me not even giving time to adjust as he began fucking me _"Yessssssss"_ I cried

I arched me back into him pushing back hard causing him to hiss out in pleasure. It was pure animalistic noises coming out of both of us as he fucked me from behind fast and hard.

"_Fuck me! Please fuck me!"_ I pleaded as I felt another orgasm beginning to build up within me. However Edward was back to his teasing self as he pulled out rubbing his dick against my slit

"_Please fuck me, for the love of all that's holy I begging you Edward! Please just fuck me!" _I groaned in frustration.

He then slammed to the hilt into my pussy causing our skin to slap against each other making a thud sound throughout my living room.

He fucked me in a fast tempo sending endless gratifying shivers down my spine. I fucked hard back against him making him moan and groan as our bodies moved together in harmony.

We constantly increased the tempo in which we fucked each other. I don't know how long we were going at it but it felt like we were brutally fucking each other for hours as another orgasm shot through me.

"_I…want…to…ride… you…"_ I demanded breathlessly.

Edward withdrew his dick from me and I got up off the couch so he could sit down. Boy let me tell you once I stood up I just knew come tomorrow my body would be sore and aching, then again it'll be worth it.

I straddle Edward rubbing his dick against my swollen clit causing us both to moan. I move his dick further down to my entrance and just slammed myself down onto him

I rose myself fast and hard, up and down his dick as Edward held me tight as my breast bounced in front of his face. Every time I would go up he would grab one of my nipples in his mouth cause me to cry out.

As I began riding him more rapidly Edward cried out to me_ "That's right, fuck me baby ride me just like that"_

His moans were turning me on even more and I just couldn't get enough of him.

"_Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me" _I cried as Edward grabbed hold of my hips thrusting upwards hard with all his slammed harder and more rigorously into my pussy. With each frantic thrust he slammed harder and deep into my pussy. I knew he was close as I continue riding him hard while he sucked on my nipples.

_"Oh Edward, oh fuck, Edward, I'm gonna cum, oh fuck! Yesssssssssss"_ I cried as my muscles clamp down around his dick.

I felt Edward's body tense as he grab my hip thrust upwards hard _"FUCK I'm cumming love"_ he shouted as he filled me up with his hot and sticky cum. I continued rocked myself against him as he was cumming hard deep within me. He came so hard filling me up the brim to the point where cum came running down the inside of my thighs.

We were both extremely satisfied by our vigorous fucking sessions that for the first time this evening we began kissing each other passionately on the lips. I got up from onto top of him going into the kitchen to grab four bottles of water, giving him two as I entered back in the living room. Edward laid back into the couch and I crawl into the space next to him into his arms. We were both spent for now and ended up taking a nap before we continued our activities which in my book were far from over. I was going to get as much out of tonight as I could before we faced the repercussion of our actions tomorrow.

Somehow through the course of the night we ended up upstairs in my bed, were we ended up making slow passionate tender love to each other repeatedly.

I ended up falling asleep on top of him after our last orgasm while we were still connected together as one.

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**Authors note**

**Okay so Tanya is no longer an obstacle in Edward's life and what do you guys make of Tanya's actions. If you're wondering why she did what she did reread her POV (Ch31) and Rosalie's POV (Ch32)**

_**Next Chapter: The Aftermath Sneak Preview **__**(As Usual may not be in correct order or context)**_

"_Did you come to beat me up and cuss me out too? I had enough from of that from Emmett."_

_"I knew it was going to happen eventually. You two have undeniable chemistry that even a blind man would see it; besides Emmett should learn a thing or two about eavesdropping on privacy conversations. He took my comment wrong and ran with it. Bella told me how things went down. She's not mad with you per se but then again she doesn't know you and Tanya called off the engagement. Not to mention she did over hear your comment about you and Tanya taking it the wrong way…"_

"_Well everyone but that Jacob character"_ I mumbled

"_What was that?"_

"_He comes to the hospital everyday while Ashley's getting treatment and comforts Bella while she cries in his arms. Something about him is eerily familiar though but I cannot place it. I truly don't trust him but what can I do if he is who makes Bella happy? I'll tell her about dropping the custody hearing but maybe I should just keep up the charade that Tanya and I are getting married."_

"_What did I do to deserve having you in my corner?" _I said it more to myself

"_Loving Bella and those beautiful children you guys created together. Look Bella is dropping off AJ at my house around 3pm tomorrow in order to avoid seeing you so that you can pick him up at 5, so I'll be seeing you at 2:30." _It wasn't even a question but a demand

**Seriously like I could really have a lemon between Bella and someone other than Edward in this story, which is pure blasphemy. The reason why they had sex will be explained next chapter**

**So what did you guys think of the animalistic steaminess between Bella and Edward? And what do you think the consequences are gonna be?**

**I wanted to address an anonymous review I received for this story.**

**Bella's a very naughty and controlling girl it's always the quiet shy ones….. Tsk Tsk**

**Here is what the reviewer said **_**"I'm mad this story doesn't have more reviews... It is awesome!"**_

**I might be just a tad bit biased but I couldn't agree with you more. However the reviews that I do get I cherish them dearly. Those reviewers been with me since the beginning still stuck around bad grammar; slow pace of Edward and Bella getting together and all.**

**So what it all boils down to is that while I would be glad to have more reviews. I wouldn't trade the reviews I've gotten so far.**

**Thanks all that review and those who add alerts**

**Now if you'll excuse me I'm drained from updating all my stories within the last two days…**

**Sara**

**P.S if you haven't already please check out my other stories Shattered Tears and Learning How to Breathe Again**


	37. Important Announcement

I'm moving this weekend so all my stories WILL NOT be updated for atleast 3 weeks. I might update sooner it all depends on when I get my home office set up once I move. I would have updated all three stories before my upcoming absences however my flipping MOUSE broke and TAB is annoying as hell to use when using a word document; actually its annoying period.

TAB is my enemy and makes it a bitch to edit. I say this because normal I will use the Notebook application on my Iphone and write up upcoming chapters. The down side to that is when I upload it to my computer the space is weird and whatnot, so without a mouse and using TABS is a lost cause. Anyways I'll work to settle in quickly and once I return I'll post 2 chapters each FOR ALL MY STORIES. I know I'll have more chapters by then so lets cross our fingers and pray it doesn't take me 3 weeks to get settle

SORRY FOR THE SIKE OUT AND FOR BREAKING MY DAMN MOUSE

SARA


	38. The Aftermath Unedited

The Aftermath

This chapter jumps between both Edward and Bella's POV

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**BPOV**

I woke up from my orgasm induce slumber very aware of what I provoked last night.

I stayed in the bed longer with my eyes closed. I was not quite ready to move and face the reality of our actions being this close to Edward, without any barriers between us felt heavenly.

With a heavy heart I opened my eyes and slowly eased myself out the bed. As soon as I extracted myself out of bed, my Edward induce euphoric high slowly dimmed. I longed for nothing more than to get back into bed with him acting as this was a norm for us, with no worries besides our children.

I looked over to my nightstand picking up the picture frame that was facing face down; holding us close to my heart as I fought back my sob that was begging to break through.

I walked into the bathroom still holding the picture as I slide down my bathroom floor. They say 'a picture is worth a thousand words' and this picture speaks volumes. It was the picture that was taken of the four of us at the street carnival. Edward holding Ashley in his arms, as I held AJ; while the kids were looking at the camera lady; Edward and I were staring at each other so intently.

This was also the day we kissed by "accident."

What I wouldn't give for what this picture portrays to be true but time was not on our side; and it was my entire fault.

I stood up walking over to the sink and begun to splash water on my face. I walked into my bedroom and just stood in the doorway looking at Edward's nude sleeping form.

My heart couldn't handle this. I needed to get out of here. This thing between us that happen last night was nothing but a stolen moment. It was only for one night. That's what I have to keep telling myself so I could survive this. Edward didn't belong to me.

Oh God I caused him to be unfaithful to his fiancée. I definitely had to get out of here with that thought that just passed through my mind.

I didn't want to be here when he woke up; nor did I want to experience any awkward moments or see the regret in his eyes.

I rushed to my dresser grabbing the first clothing article I touched. Throwing it on not even caring.

I grabbed the picture frame again and looked back to Edward as the tears slide down silently. I clutch the frame to my chest as I turn around leaving my bedroom and heading downstairs out my front door. Still carrying the picture frame going to the one place I could attempt to find some solace. As I pulled out my driveway I thought back to the reasons that lead up to last night even happen

_(FLASHBACK)_

_Days started blending together and I was truly at a lost. Everyday going into that hospital room seeing all those tubes hook up to my baby girl, was just so god damn heart breaking._

_Especially after the three day of going through her Chemo treatments. The donors warned us that she would get sick but I never imagine she would be that sick._

_My little girl was constantly throwing up and had extreme high fever, constant nose bleeds as well as coughing up blood; let's not the bruises that was forming on her tiny body._

_My little girl once filled with so much joy and life; laid in that bed lifeless._

_She looked so fragile that I was actual afraid to hold her because I thought I'll hurt her more._

_Edward sat by Ashley's bedside everyday since her treatment began and just watching him interact with her consumed me with guilty._

_Edward's only gotten to know Ashley for months and I've known her since the day she was born. I'm such a selfish bitch, I thought to myself dryly as_

_I got up leaving the room. I felt like I was intruding on a private moment between father and child._

_Upon entering the hallway I had immediately bumped into someone "Sorry" I mumbled not even looking up_

_"Bella it's no problem" came a familiar voice_

_I looked up to him and smile "What are you doing here?"_

_He looked at me hesitantly "Well when you called and cancelled our date due to your daughters' illness, you sounded so lost and sad. I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries by coming here but I just had to make sure you're already. Plus I came baring treats" He said lifting a Starbucks cup and snack bag._

_"That's very thoughtful of you but you truly didn't have to get me anything."_

_"Nonsense Bella, besides you look like you can use some coffee in your system. When's the last time you had a good nights rest?"_

_I turned my head looking into Ashley's room because in all honesty I truly didn't know when the last time I had a decent nights rest was._

_Before reunion with The Cullen's; Possible. Edward suing for custody? Restlessness, Ashley being sick? God help me I pleaded mental_

_"I don't know" I said sadly_

_Jacob pulled me into a hug without saying anything. This was one of the things I needed right now; a comforting embrace from a friend._

_I sighed after looking down at my watch "there going to start her treatment soon. Thanks for coming."_

_"Anytime Bella" He replied kissing me in the forehead_

_I stood in the doorway of Ashley's room as the doors began to start her next round of chemo._

_Edward was near exhaustion and he barely could keep his eyes open. I looked down to the coffee in my hand walking towards him._

_He was sitting in a chair with his back to me as I placed the hand with the coffee in it over his shoulder. "Here you look like you need this more than me"_

_Edward smiled up at me taking the coffee into his hand. I left my arm lingering on his shoulder for a bit: before giving it a squeeze and moving to the opposite side of Ashley's bed to sit at her bedside._

_As I sat down I pick up one of the books from the bedside table and began reading to reading to Ashley Charlottes Web._

_I don't know how long I was reading for but just I gotten to the parts were Charlotte was telling Wilbur she wasn't returning to the farm. Ashley's hospital room filled with an alarming noise._

_I looked at Ashley and her body was shaking wildly. I moved my eyes to Edward and he was pale as a ghost looking at Ashley's heart monitor, as doctors and nurse came into the room ushering us out the way._

_I started hyperventilated while mumbling "not my little girl, please"_

_I stood in the hallway in Edward's embrace. A nurse came running into the room with what looked to be a crash cart._

_That was it my walls fell, the strong mask crumbled. Those carts never mean anything good I just dropped to the floor in a sob._

_"Oh...God....Is....is...that....what...I....I...think....it....is?" I cried_

_I attempted to search Edward's eyes for answers but all I saw was his tears._

_"I...I..." I got up off the floor shaking my head. I refuse to let my thoughts go that dark route Ashley is strong. She has to make it._

_Dr Lavery came out the room with an indifferent mask in place._

_"Ashley's condition has worsened and as you are aware she coded. As you know with chemo her immune system is partially nonexistent, her body is just working extra hard to fight of any infections. We'll be taking upstairs shortly for x-rays, CTscans and other test just to make sure we there is no unknown factor we should be aware of us._

_I notice the doctors lips continued moving but be had me lost from when he said my angel coded._

_(End of FLASHBACK)_

**EPOV**

I woke up in an empty bed naked, sore and in a very unfamiliar bedroom. I thought back to last night with a sigh thinking 'at least she didn't throw me out when she woke up.' I took that as a good sign hoping for the best.

I saw a door open to the far right of the room and got up calling out Bella's name thinking she was in there. However the bathroom was completely empty.

I figures since she let me sleep she wouldn't mine if I took a quick shower. My entire body was aching from last night activities and I needed a shower badly to help loosen up my muscles.

After showering I wrapped a towel around my waist, remembering my clothes had gotten discarded downstairs.

As I made my way downstairs I continued to call out for Bella but had yet to receive a response. Upon entering the disaster zone known as Bella's kitchen; I walked carefully around to my discarded clothing next to the broken glass.

Once dress I looked around the house finding no Bella. Instead of kicking me out her left alone in her house. With a sigh I went back into the kitchen and began cleaning it, hoping she'll return by the time I finished cleaning so that we could talk about everything.

It took two hours to clean up the damage in the kitchen, living room and bedroom. I sat in the living room for at least an hour and Bella had yet to return.

With a sigh I got up and left her house heading towards the hospital to spend time with my little girl. I knew even if Bella was avoiding me she'll show up to the hospital eventually and we'll have a talk that's many years overdue.

Being in Ashley's room again reminded me of the reasons why last night happened. Ashley had fallen into a coma which in turn devastated Bella. When she rushed out the hospital this time I followed her knowing this would had driven her to something she'll regret.

I looked at our sleeping little girl hoping for a miracle. "I know our relationship was on the bit of the rocky side Ashley; but I need you. We need you Ashley especially your momma."

**BPOV**

I ended up pulling into Rosalie's driveway knowing she'll be up already, which I felt completely guilty about. Rose has been taking care of AJ for me these last few weeks since Ashley been in the hospital. I only saw my little guy at dinnertime and when I tucked him in a night.

I felt so bad not spending so much time with him as quickly as I got that thought I decided this weekend will be all about AJ; also next week I'll have to find some sort of balance when it comes to my children.

Sitting in Rosalie's driveway my mind kept flashing back to the naked man still laying in my bed. Edward's body had scratches, bite marks, and whatnot all over his body too. I shook my head attempting to keep my thoughts from straying back to the man still sleeping in my bed. I grabbed the picture frame putting in my purse getting out my car and letting myself into Rose's place.

Rosalie" I called out as soon as I let myself in.

"In here Bella and keep your voice down Emmett is still asleep."

I went to join her in the kitchen. Her back was facing me as I entered "How you holding up today?" she asked without turning around

I just stayed silence. That was a load fucking question.

When I didn't answer her Rose turned around and her eyes widen as she took in my appearance.

I knew she was taking in my swollen lips, the love bites on my neck and the emotions behind my eyes. "Um looks like you had a rough night" She said breaking the silence in the room

"You should see the other person." I responded half jokingly and seriously

"Please tell me you didn't just give up 5 1/2 years of celibacy to that Jacob character?" She asked pleadingly

I shook my head no and relief wash over her "You need to be nicer about Jacob. He's been nothing but sweet and compassionate to me besides he's done nothing wrong to you."

"Bella he's using you're vulnerability and I don't trust him. But back to much more important matters" She said motioning to my appearance

"Edward" I whispered, looking down to the floor as my lips began to tremble and tears began to flow.

"So what exactly is the problem then Belly? Isn't this what you wanted? Well not the sleeping together that would have come eventually but this is your chance to be with Edward now?"

"This" I said handing her the picture.

She looked at the picture and began to mumble "wow this is an amazing portrait and you two look..."

"So much in love" I finished

"Pictures don't lie Bella. Just follow your heart Belly" She stated simply

"Why so I can just get hurt repeatedly? And why follow my heart to somewhere unattainable? I'm done with Edward Cullen. To me he's nothing but a sperm donor." I shouted defiantly as both my heart and mind protested the words leaving my mouth. Lies all lies I thought to myself nothing but blasphemy my heart thud with a dull pain.

Rose just sighs effectively becoming speechless and giving me a look telling me she didn't even believe my last statement.

"Yes it hurts to say those things Rosalie, but it's time to let old wounds heal and move on. You never forget your first love but plenty has moved on from their first love. So why couldn't I? Hell even Edward manage to do that. Besides Rose he's with Tanya and if it wasn't for me practically throwing myself at him last night he would have never been unfaithful to her."

Rose opened her mouth to say something but then close it. She opened her mouth again and then said "You need to talk to Edward?"

I shook my head getting louder as I began to shout "I cannot speak to him about this nor can I even look at him after what happen last night. It was wrong on so many levels and it was practically rape……on my part at least" I whispered the last part as I realized how loud I had gotten.

Rose came over to me and wrapped her arms around me letting the tears flow freely. Through my tears I attempted to make light of the situation "you know I've been out of the sexual loop so long that I did things ass backwards. Who does the walk of shame from their own house? Can you believe I left him sleeping in my fucking bed?"

Rose's laughter was uncontrollable "oh my good Bella that's so damn priceless. Have I taught you nothing? If anyone was to do the walk of shame this morning it should have been Edward." She said. We both stopped laughing as we heard the floor board creek.

Emmett came into the kitchen and saw Rose embracing me "Oh…um…hey Bella"

I wiped my tears and whispered "Hello"

"Rosie I'm going to head out besides it looks like Bella needs you right about now."

Rose unwrap her arms from around me and walked over to him kissing him goodbye. As he left I shared a look with Rosalie _"You don't think he overheard us do you?"_

**EPOV**

I left Ashley's room heading to the vending machine to get something to drink. As I was bending down to get my soda someone pulled me by the arm turning me around and before I even had a chance to even register who it was, I was met with someone's fist.

As I fell I looked up to see a very anger Emmett "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?" I shouted rubbing the spot were he had just hit me.

Emmett pulled me up off the floor only to continue to slam me into the vending machine as he looked onto me with disgust "You fucking bastard. Attempting to take away her children wasn't good enough for you huh? That you had to fucking rape her?"

I looked at him like he was fucking crazy rape? "Look I don't know where you're getting your information from but I raped no one besides what happen between Bella and I was consensual; and quite frankly none of your fucking business."

"It's my fucking business when she's over at Rose's place at the crack of dawn crying on her kitchen floor. I will not let you continue to hurt this girl Edward; I swear on my life I wouldn't let you hurt her anymore. For fucksakes you're engage to be married."

"Tanya and I are just fine so mind you goddamn business…."

"Yeah I can see just how _FINE_ you two are when you take advantage of Bella in her state of vulnerability……"

"ENOUGH" Someone shouted from behind us

I looked up in time to see Bella's figure leaving and a very upset Rosalie looking between Emmett and me. I wanted to run after Bella but everything that just happen had me running the other way outside the hospital and towards the bar down the street. I don't know how long I sat there before Ii saw her enter the bar.

"_Did you come to beat me up and cuss me out too? I had enough from of that from Emmett."_

Rosalie just looked at me bemused and pulled out the stool sitting next to me motioning for the bartender

"_What can I get ya?"_ The Bartender asked

"_Let me get a dry Martini and two shots of Jack." _She paused looking over at me and shouted to the bartender_ "better yet make those shots double."_

Rosalie folded her hands in front of her still not talking to me, as the bartender sat the drinks in front of her. She pushed one of the shots in front of me while raising her shot glass. _"Come on Edward drink up you had a rough day"_

"_Rosalie"_ I began but cut myself off as she shot me a dirty look

I picked up me glass raising it towards her before throwing it back.

"_It's Rose"_ She respond after taking a sip of her Martini

"_Excuse me?"_ I ask a bit confused

"_I only let people I have an aversion to call me Rosalie. I think of you as a friend Edward and I my friends call me Rose."_ She replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I looked at her perplex especially after everything that just occurred and blurted out the first thing that came into my mind

"_How come you're not mad or disgusted with me?"_

She looked up at me amused and with a knowing smile _"I knew it was going to happen eventually. You two have undeniable chemistry that even a blind man would see it; besides Emmett should learn a thing or two about eavesdropping on privacy conversations. He took my comment wrong and ran with it. Bella told me how things went down. She's not mad with you per se but then again she doesn't know you and Tanya called off the engagement. Not to mention she did over her your comment about you and Tanya taking it the wrong way…"_ Rosalie said trailing off

"_What do I do Rose?"_ I asked sadly as I motion to the bartender for another drink

"_You sit down and you tell Bella everything. You know she's still under the impression you're filing for custody of the kids. She thinks you're being nice to her only because Ashley is sick. She's torturing herself right now with all these bottled up emotions Edward. I do not want to lose her but she's slowly pushing everyone away."_

"_Well everyone but that Jacob character"_ I mumbled

"_What was that?"_

"_He comes to the hospital everyday while Ashley's getting treatment and comforts Bella while she cries in his arms. Something about him is eerily familiar though but I cannot place it. I truly don't trust him but what can I do if he is who makes Bella happy? I'll tell her about dropping the custody hearing but maybe I should just keep up the charade that Tanya and I are getting married."_

I felt a sharp sting against my face and turned to Rose with a look that said _'what the fuck was that for'_

"_You will NOT give up on Bella."_ She sneered

"_I cannot give up on something I've never truly had" I_ replied lamely

Rose just looked at me shaking her head.

"_You've had Bella ever since you guys first met and I know she's hurt you repeatedly in the past but you cannot fault her either. Back then Bella wasn't ready for that kind of emotionally commitment to someone because besides you, people showed her that the people you love leaves you, hurt you and so forth. So Bella being Bella did the one thing she does best she hid her emotions so well that she even hid them from herself. Did you even ever listen to the song Bella told you she heard that night that caused her to run to you?"_

I shook my head no

"_Well you should listen to it. That song sums up everything about Bella and her feelings for you perfectly. I know it may seem like it's too late for you guys but if it's meant to be it's never too late. I know it's meant to be because if it wasn't you and I wouldn't be sitting here having a few drinks with each other, you and Bella would have never bumped back into each other a few months ago. Granted you guys may have a few bumps in the road bumps in the road but it's both of your actions during these bumps that are going to define how things turn out. You have a choice now you can either take the easy way out or you can fight tooth and nail for what appears to be a losing battle."_

"_What did I do to deserve having you in my corner?" _I said it more to myself but I knew she heard

"_Loving Bella and those beautiful children you guys created together. Look Bella is dropping off AJ at my house around 3pm tomorrow in order to avoid seeing you so that you can pick him up at 5, so I'll be seeing you at 2:30." _It wasn't even a question but a demand

I knew I wanted a chance to clear the air with Bella because she deserves that and a clear conscious. Most importantly if she gave me any sign that she has a smidge of feelings for me, I'll fight for her and our family with everything I have.

As soon as I got into my car I saw the package from Bella I was going through before I got the call about Ashley being in the hospital. I was putting everything back into its place when what appeared to be a blank CD fell out.

Curious of what was on the CD I immediately put it in my CD, as soon as I hit play I heard strumming of a guitar followed by a soothing female voice. I didn't know what I was listening to but as the chorus came on I gripped the steering wheel. _'No this could mean what I think it does'_ I thought to myself as the heard the person sing the second verse to the chorus.

_It took something, it took falling,  
It took distance, it took time,  
It took a lot of getting lost to realize  
I was already home, right where I was supposed to be_

You were right in front of me  
I was not alone  
I was already home, sometimes you're too close to see  
The one thing that you really need has been there all along  
It took leaving you to know, I was already home.

As the song played out I thought back to the conversation Bella and I had regarding this song.

**Flashback**

"_I'm not that strong when it comes to you especially when I know I've hurt you so much in the past and still am. You're definitely the last person on this earth I ever want to hurt you have to believe me when I say this. That night when I came to you in the pouring rain I never actually told you what happen but the meaningless part of that night was James cheated on me with the next door neighbor. Back then I thought that was why I was hurting so much but it took me going to a bar and hearing a song come on that caused me to run to you home in the down pour not caring about anything."_

"_Bella I…."_ She shook her head at me _"No Edward Please let me finish I've kept this in for so many years so now that the truth is out I want this out in the open as well."_

I just nodded my head for her to proceed because I truly did not want to know what brought on those actions that night nor did I know she thought of killing herself in my bathroom.

"_I had the razor in my hand toying with the idea about ending my life because I felt empty, incompletely, unwanted, broken and unloved but the words of that song kept playing though my mind and I also realized I could do that to you. You deserved more to come and find me dead in your bathroom which made me feel ever worst that I ever considered doing something like that to you because I remember your words from when I nearly did take me life. You told 'Bella I cannot live in a world without please get help, please, I cannot lose you in my life- I want you to feel whole again please Bella get help.' And Edward that brought on a whole new round of tears and when you were comforting me in bed I felt everything I was looking and just wanted to feel loved and complete which were the things you made me feel._

_When you told you'll be there for me no matter what I just looked into your eyes and finally saw all the love and compassion you had for me so that's why I began kissing you. It was never my intention at first to have sex with you that night but those words to that song kept ringing through my mind and everything at that moment in my life felt so right so I just went with it. When you started to reject me I felt so hurt but I still so the love you had for me in your eyes and I pleaded with you on how much I truly did want and need you in every way possible.__I meant what I said that night that I was sick of denying what felt right in my life._

"_What was the name of the song?"_

_She had a wide smile that came across my face as she was answering my question_

"_It's called I Was Already Home" _

_**End of Flashback**_

The words to the song had my mind reeling that I put the song on repeat. 'Could it really be possible that Bella was in love with me back then?'

I wanted to say it was impossible put I recalled something Rosalie said that stop me short

**Author's note**

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**Next Chapter Preview**

_**Jacob beginning kissing me and I was utterly shock, as he tried to deepen it I snapped out my state of shock and instantly had to pull away.**_

**"Ahem" Someone said clearing there throat**

**I turned around to see a defeated looking Edward.**

**That kiss may not be what it appears to be **

**Bella and Edward have a talk and a move into a new direction**

_**Something happens to a character**_


	39. No Regrets

**JPOV (Jacob)**

Things were going exactly as planned now that Alice was backing off. Allowing me two months to pull off what was originally suppose to happen in six months time.

When I first met Alice I wanted to tear her from limb to limb because she was a Cullen: however Alice proves to be a value asset and ally. Alice paid for my new identity and reconstructive surgery to make me unrecognizable to my target.

Edward fucking hero complex always sticking his nose where it doesn't belong; He took something that was MINE. And it's only fair I returned the favor. I vowed with my last breathe I would make him pay. I wish I could be around to see the look of his face when I destroy everything in his world.

I would stay around for it but I'll be too busy enjoying my prize.

My first mission was to gain Bella's trust however I felt I should have just set my plan in motion right then. Alice disagreed and said it'll set off all sorts of red herrings.

I have to admit when I had Bella in my hotel room; I wanted to take her right then and there.

But this plan wouldn't have work if I did so instead I played the compassionate nice guy.

Bella called me almost everyday talking about what Edward was doing. I tried to get her to reveal more details in regards to her feelings for Edward and their past together but she never did.

Little did she know I knew all the details of her past. I just needed to know if Edward and her had feelings for one another now because besides their children (which was a shocker in itself); our new plan would only hurt more with feelings involved.

I asked her out on a date thinking that if she declined meant something or someone was holding her back. So I was surprise she answered yes immediately stating "my children have their father in there life now so they'll be no confusion if I were to bring a man into my life."

However our date never happen her daughter became sick. That little girl being sick caused things to change and in all honesty I liked this direction better.

The first day I showed up to the hospital, Bella was extremely surprise and I laid on the nice guy act sweetly upon her.

I even brought the bitch coffee and a muffin. Little did she know the coffee was laced!

Everyday for the last three weeks I was bringing her laced coffee. The only thing I didn't know was it she was drinking it. Immediately after I gave to her she would say "I've got to get back to Ashley, I've been away too long" or some bullshit like that.

Today when I came to the hospital I could tell something was different in Bella's demeanor. She was even paler and her eyes no longer held the glint of hope for her daughter.

Plus she was in no rush to get back to her daughters room today. This was the first time I was able to watch her drink the lace coffee.

During this time as I was comforting Bella I saw that Edward was approaching from down the hall, so it was time to step up my game in order to see where there feelings laid.

**BPOV**

Walking past the waiting room to get to Ashley's room, I heard shouting coming from a very familiar voice.

I peaked into the waiting room and the scene before me caused me to pause in my steps.

Emmett was pulling Edward off the floor and slamming him into the vending machine. "What attempting to take her kids weren't good enough for you that had to rape her?"

I wanted to throw up. Emmett heard overheard my conversation with Rose and misinterprets my statement. Shit, Shit, shit.

My mouth was too dry to even talk. I wanted to speak up and shout to tell Emmett to stop, he had it all wrong. Edward could never be a monster like that to no one especially me nonetheless.

My masochist nature was out in full force as I continued to stand there listening to their exchange.

"Look I don't know where you got your information from but I raped no one besides what happened between Bella and I was consensual; and quite frankly none of your fucking business."

"It's my fucking business when she's over at Rose's place at the crack of dawn, crying on her kitchen floor. I will not let you continue to hurt this girl Edward; I swear on my life I wouldn't let you hurt her anymore. For fucksakes you're engaged to be married."

"Tanya and I are just fine so mind your goddamn business..."

Hearing those words were a stab to my heart. I stood their vibrating as the words sunk in. He and Tanya are still fine...

"Yeah I can see how _FINE_ you two are when you take advantage of Bella in her state of vulnerability..."

I felt her presence before I even heard her speak "Enough" Rosalie shouted at them

I had already saw all the hurt and regret in Edward's eyes during the confrontation with Emmett that I didn't even bother sticking around.

I ran directly to Ashley's room, pausing outside her door. I wanted to calm myself down before I went into her room.

Upon entering her room my tears began to flow again seeing her just laying there motionless in a coma. God I never felt so helpless in my entire life.

Yesterday when I had heard her machine go off I thought I had lost her. I thought I had lost my little girl.

I wanted to drink myself to oblivion however Edward saved me from that road of destruction. It seems yet again Edward is always protecting me from one of my vices.

Too bad he couldn't protect me from my number one vice which is himself.

I crawled into Ashley's bed and began singing to her.

_Tell me have you heard the story  
That took place not long ago  
Bout an angel up in heaven  
They say she up and ran away from home_

Word is she had unfinished business  
So back on earth she had to flee  
Well you know I'm so elated  
Because she's laying right here next to me

And when God woke up that morning  
And he called out her name  
And when she did not answer  
Heaven will never ever ever be  
Heaven will never be the same  
Never be the same

_  
Always dreamed that it would happen  
I just didn't know exactly when  
All my life I'd been waiting for something amazing  
Said it took a while but now I know  
So tell me can I get a witness  
If you believe in miracles  
And the proof I have is living  
And my life will never ever be  
And your life don't have to be the..._

At times it seems we take for granted  
How precious life can be  
Just hold on and I'm sure you'll understand it  
Bringing into this world  
A precious boy and a girl... And when God woke up that morning  
Said where has my little angels gone  
And when they didn't an...answer  
Heaven will never ever ever be  
Heaven will never be the.... same  
Yeah... Yeah

I was so caught up in singing the song to her I didn't even realize someone come into the room, until I finished singing. "That's a very beautiful song."

"Thank you" I whispered as I got out the bed

"Did you make up the song or..." he trailed off

I sat on the chair next to Ashley's bedside holding her hand while I stared at the man that held my heart in his hand; he was also the man I've hurt time and time again.

I would free him of this destructive pattern.

"I first heard the song while I was pregnant. The song is called

Heaven and I used to hum the lyrics to them. I even set headphones on my belly and after they were born I sung it to them to put them to sleep. I still sing it to this day as you can see. Whenever their scared, sick or whenever they just want to hear it."

I absentmindedly began humming the song as I stroked my little girl's cheek.

"Bella about..."

I shook my head "No Edward, not here please." I said cutting him off

"We need to talk about this Bella."

"I know but not right now. Look talk to her for awhile, I'm going to step out for a bit. Dr Lavery wanted to talk to both of us so when he's ready come look for me in the waiting room." I said quickly not even giving him a chance to respond as I dashed out of the room

I stood against the wall outside Ashley's room breathing heavily. Once I composed myself I began walking towards the waiting to meet up with Jacob.

I must have looked like a real mess because as soon as he saw me, he wrapped his arms around me and held onto to me tightly.

I sighed into his embrace as we broke apart. "Thanks I need that" I smiled up to him

"Anytime" was his only response as he hand me my coffee "I know you probably want to get back to your little girl..." he began however I cut him off as I sat down taking a sip of my latte. Ashley's room was the last place I wanted to be right now.

I just stared off into space as I continued sipping on my latte. Jacob was the first to break the silence "Care to talk about why you're not rushing to get back into your daughters room like you'd normally do?"

I blinked and just blatantly stared at him in shock. Am I really should an easy read? I thought to myself.

"I only asked because when you came in here you just looked as pale as a ghost, plus you're once hopefully outlook seems to be dimming within your eyes."

"Ashley fell into a coma yesterday." was all I said. It wasn't a lie and for some reason it was like a part of me didn't want to share anymore than he already knew about Edward.

"Sorry to hear that." he replied as I finished off my coffee

I didn't even realize I was crying until he pulled me into his lap. Being in his lap felt just a tad bit too intimate for my taste so I stood up instantaneously, the sudden movement had made me feel extremely dizzy and lightheaded

"Woah" Jacob said embracing me as I began to sway in his arms. He held me around my waist to stead me as I looked up into his eyes.

While looking into his eyes I saw a few emotions play behind them until a look of determination came into play. Next thing I knew Jacob's lips crash upon mine roughly.

I grabbed onto his shirt at his chest roughly in attempts to push him away; but by doing so he assumed I wanted him to deepen the kiss.

This kiss was wrong on so many levels that I continued pushing against his chest to stop him. He stop kissing me as I heard someone say "ahem" and my complete body went rigid as I turned around see a defeated looking Edward.

"Edward" I whispered as the pain settle in my heart. Why am I always hurting this man and causing that look at pain on his handsome face? I wondered to myself

"Umm Dr Lavery is in Ashley's room. I just came to let you know." he said with his eyes looking at everything but me.

"Thanks I'll be there in a minute" I said all Edward did was nod his head and left the room

I felt the bile rise in my throat at what the scene he walked in might of look like to him.

I turned back around looking at Jacob not really knowing what to say. So many thoughts where running through my mind but I had to remember were I was and why I was here. Now wasn't the time to hash this out with Jacob.

"Um are you free tomorrow after 5?" I asked

He replied yes with a hopeful smile. I just nodded my head and gave him a timid smile "want to meet me up so we can grab a bite to eat and talk outside a hospital environment?"

"I would love that." he replied before giving me a peck on the lips as he left the room

I rushed to the restroom as I felt a familiar feeling bubble up within me. I made it to the toilet just in time as I started throwing up the contents of my stomach.

I groan oven the toilet bowl as I thought back on all that's happen within the last two days; Emmett attacking Edward, Jacob kissing me and Edward seeing it. I threw up once more before I gathered myself together and head to Ashley's room.

I entered the room finding not only Edward and Dr Lavery but Rosalie as well. "Just great" I thought to myself.

As the doctor was giving us updates on Ashley I couldn't help but to stare at Edward. His face held no emotions appearing to be so cold and distant.

Tears flowed down my face as I took in his appearance. I felt Rosalie put her arms around me to comfort me but I shrugged out of her embrace. I didn't want her comfort

I couldn't even tell you what Dr Lavery said which added to my guilt even more. Somehow I needed to clear my mind from all this mayhap and I knew the only way to do that was to face all my issues head on.

Once the doctor left the room the three of us just stood in there awkwardly not saying anything. "Am going to head out." Edward stated to no one in particular after he kissed Ashley on the forehead and headed out the door

I saw the meaningful look Rosalie gave me as she sat by Ashley's bedside. I ran out into the hallway after Edward as I reached up to him I position myself in front of him halting his steps. "Edward about..."

"Not now Bella" he said cutting me off but I'll be damn if I had him leaving this hospital mad at me

"I cannot have you leave this hospital under the wrong impression. He kissed me Edward; I swear I not once did I returned that kiss."

"Look Bella, I'm exhausted and just want to go home to get some rest."

"Yeah sure, get some rest we'll talk soon" I said resigned turning to walk away

"Bella" he called out

"Yes" I whispered

"For what it's worth, I'm not mad at you nor do I have any regrets." He said with a meaningful look that made my heart swell

"Same here" I replied as he wrapped his arms around me. "Go home and get some rest love you look dead on your feet."

I nestle into his embrace inhaling deeply before letting go "Tomorrow" I vowed as I stood on my tiptoes to give him a peck on his cheek.

That night I went home with Rosalie and slept in the bed with my son with a positive outlook on what the future my hold. I didn't know how but I would somehow stop letting fear rule me.

* * *

**A/N**

**This is not how I original wrote this chapter however I like this one the best. Things are going to be extremely hopeful for Bella and Edward. I know I promised a talk between the two this chapter but things just worked out differently. Next Chapter will be in Both Edward and Bella's POV and will jump ahead a month with a few flashbacks. The next chapter also has the something bad in it. Following the something bad will be the long and await POV from Esme. I may have the next two chapters out by tomorrow.**

**Coming Up in IWAH**

_Things are MAY not be what they seem with Rosalie (2 More Chapters)_

_It'll Be the TWO MONTH mark for Alice's plot What does she have plan and just how deadly is it?_

_Alice gets smacked_

_Someone gets arrested_

_Lies and Secrets are revealed_

_THE SOMETHING BAD I'VE HINTED TO IT A FEW TIMES IN PREVIOUS CHAPTERS _

**Next Chapter Preview**

_"Hey Angel, it's me mommy."_

_I looked at my daughter and it truly saddens me. Ashley's once curly beautiful bronze locks are completely gone._

_"Even without your beautiful mane you're still the most beautiful little girl ever." I smiled down upon my sleeping beauty and silently prayed to god to watch over my Angel and bring her back home to us healthy._

_I hate the fact that she was in a coma now fighting for her life. I hate the fact that she's fucking sick regardless. Most importantly I wish I had her courage. This little Angel fought to live when she was born and survived against all odds. She fought her way back to us twice when she coded within the last month._

_My baby is a fighter while I'm a goddamn coward. She's fought from day one while I ran. She's fighting still and instead of opening my heart I'm running all over again._

_"I'll make you a promise baby girl" I whispered as I crawled into the bed next to her._

_I wrapped my arms around my sleeping angel and cried "AJ misses his sissy and your dad...... He love's you so much you know and he wants nothing more than to be a father to both you and AJ. Did you know I robbed him almost six years that he can never get back?_

_EPOV_

_Bells and I both made our share of mistakes in the past. Some that I know both of us wish we could redo. I may have plenty regrets during the course of my life so far however there're two things I could never bring myself to regret._

_Sleeping with Bella not once but twice and creating beautiful children with her._

_Without the first the latter couldn't of happen so how could I ever bring myself to regret such intimate moments?_

_The second time, words couldn't even describe. It was 5 1/2 years worth of anguish, regret, sorrow, love, compassion and forgiveness all wrapped up in one._


	40. Heart To Heart

**Enjoy this chapter its been well overdue**

* * *

EPOV

I'm not even going to lie by saying that seeing Jacob and Bella kissing had no affect on me whatsoever. ; Especially since it was days after we had just been intimate with one another not even having a chance to speak yet.

My heart was completely shattered. I left Ashley's room that day completely defeated and was truly going to head home to drown my sorrows in a bottle of Jack.

That was until Bella stopped me in the hallway with a pleading look begging me to understand. "Edward about..." I didn't want to hear it because that kiss kept replaying in my mind, it had looked so intense.

"No not now Bella."

She shook her head adamant for me to hear her out "I'm not letting you leave this hospital under the wrong impression Edward. He kissed me not the other way around; Edward I swear I...not once did I ever return that kiss."

I heard the words she was saying however I was extremely tired. My body still hasn't recovered from everything that happened within the last few days.

"Look Bella, I'm exhausted and just want to go home to get some rest."

Bella look defeated as she sighed "Yeah sure, get some rest we'll talk some other time."

She turns to walk away but I could let her leave like that and I needed to give her to know and feel.

"Bella"

"Yes Edward" she replied in barely a whisper

"For what it's worth, I'm not mad at you nor do I have any regrets." I said meaningfully as I stared into her eyes

"Same here" she responded softly and I couldn't help myself as I wrapped my arms around her. "Go home and get some rest love, you look dead on your feet."

She nestles closer to me and inhaled before making a vow of tomorrow. I didn't know what tomorrow may hold but I knew I had to have fate that it would be better.

Things did start looking up for us during the course of the passing days and weeks; Ashley's white blood cell count had gotten higher with the color slowly returning to her. She may have lost her hair with all the chemo treatments but she was still the most beautiful little girl ever.

While she was still in the coma the doctors were hopeful she'll wake up any day now. Another plus was that her body didn't reject the donated organ she had received.

On the Bella front things were moving slowly along for us however in this case slow was good. It had been a month since Bella and I had been intimate. And it's been three weeks since we had our well overdue conversation.

**Flashback**

It was a Saturday morning and I woken up to my cell phone going off. I reached over to my nightstand seeing a text message from Bella.

**Spending the entire day with AJ want to join us?**

I smiled at her text message as I began to reply **would love too when should we meet up?**

**Breakfast at my place, and then we can make plans from there?**

**I love too** I stated simply

I jumped out of bed with a new spring in my step. No matter what happened today, today was the day we would possibly finally have a chance to talk.

I arrived at Bella's an hour later. As soon as I rung the bell, AJ came bounding out the door into my arms "daddy"

I held onto him tightly as I looked up to see a smiling Bella at the door.

"Well good morning to you too" I smiled at the both of them

Bella had motion for me to come in. As I walked in I place AJ back onto the ground. "Okay little man, go upstairs and wash your hands before breakfast, while daddy and I set up the table."

"Putting me to work already woman?" I teased

She threw her head back in laughter throwing a dish towel me "the pancakes are in the oven grab them for me while I finish the eggs and bacon."

I brought the pancakes to the kitchen table and went to the cupboard to gather some cups and dishes

"Can I help?" AJ asked coming into the kitchen

Bella looked up from the stove and point towards me "why don't you go and help your dad set the table." She said as she turns her attention back to the stove.

Breakfast truly was a delicious treat between the three of us. During breakfast we discussed what we wanted to do today. We had left most of the planning up to AJ because ever since Ashley's been sick we both felt we were neglecting his needs.

It didn't come as a surprise when he said he wanted to spend so time at the hospital visiting his sister. I knew no matter what Bella and I did with him we could never fill the void of his twin.

After breakfast AJ and I kicked Bella out the kitchen as we cleaned up all the breakfast dishes. Once we were finish with the dishes we went into the living room to see Bella setting up various art supplies; for us to make cards and various decorations for Ashley's room.

By the time we had finished our little project it was already noon and AJ could barely keep his eyes open. Bella was about to lift him up to take him upstairs to take a nap however I insisted on doing it

I had come back downstairs to find Bella sitting on the couch with her feet curled under her sipping a cup of tea.

I sat at the opposite end of the couch and exhaled deeply

"So" we both stated at the same time

We laughed awkwardly and I motioned for her to proceed.

"Thank you for agree to coming today. When I asked this morning I truly wasn't thinking properly." Bella must have seen my face drop at that comment as she quickly amended her statement "what I mean is that you spend majority of your time at the hospital and I know this is my weekend with AJ. I just hope by me asking you to join us today I wasn't keeping you from anything important."

"There's nothing more important than this right here." I stated with the upmost sincerity. Bella took a sip of her tea looking at the picture frame behind her, which held the picture of all four of us.

"Bella I owe you a big apology." I began however she cut me off not letting me finish

"You owe me no apology if anything I should be apologizing to you." I reached out grabbing her hand please let me finish Bella.

She just nodded her head and gave me a timid smile.

"I owe you an apology for actually believing you're an unfit parent, after all you did a fantastic job raising Ashley and AJ all by yourself for the last five years. I want you to know that I'm no longer filing for full custody and I rather you and I work it out just between us no middle people."

Bella had tears in her eyes and as I went to wipe them away she pulled away from me. "I hope what happen between us the other night is not the reason you're having a change of heart. Nor do I want you to think that's the reason the other night happen." she said bitterly

"No! God no Bella. You can even ask Rosalie..."

"Rosalie?" She shrieked

"Yeah, she found out awhile ago."

"And you just thought to now share this information with me Edward? God" She said jumping off the couch pacing

I got up off the couch grabbing he arm "I know I should of told you sooner put things got in the way okay."

"Like what huh? I been worrying my ass off about this for months now but obviously it wasn't a problem for you to share this with Rosalie before me? You know me the mother of your children."

"Oh I don't know Bella, how about Ashley in the hospital fighting for her life, or me trying to prevent you from dying of goddamn hypothermia. Which one of those times would have been more appropriate? Huh?" I shouted at her but as the words left my mouth I regretted them when I saw her fall to the floor; pulling her knees up to her chest to wrap her arms around them.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to shout at you nor throw anything back at. I just wanted to point out how hard it's been. Trust me there are so many things that have changed over the last month so far that not even my family knows; actually the only person who knows most of these things is Rose." I said kneeling down next to her

"I see Rosalie and you have grown quite close." She whispered with an undertone of jealousy

"It's not like I didn't want to share these things with you Bells; but I didn't want to add anymore to your plate plus I was confused by some of these things myself. Yes, Rosalie and I have grown close but the reason for that closeness is because of you and our children. We may have grown apart from each other over the last few years but I will always care about you regardless of our differences; and what's going on in our lives.

I reached up and put her face between my hands "you're and will always be one of the most important people in my life."

We just sat there staring at each other with her face still between my hands. Without even giving it a second thought I drew closer to her and began kissing her lightly. She immediately began kissing me back; before pulling away whispering "this is wrong" placing her hand over her lips.

"How is this wrong Bella?"

"You're engaged"

"Yes that Edward." She sneered

I sighed putting my face into my hands. "Tanya and I are no longer engaged." I said looking up at her

"Is that what you meant with your comment the other day with Emmett that Tanya and you are fine?" I just nodded my head yes

"Please tell me you didn't break up with Tanya because of what happen between us?"

"Would it have been so wrong if I did break up with Tanya after we shared such an intimate act?" I asked out of curiosity

"Yes, no, I don't know...... God Edward you shouldn't throw away years of love, happiness for just a roll in the hay."

"Is that what that night meant for you, just some means of release or a quick meaningless fuck?" I asked out of frustration

Bella just sat there staring at me before speaking "I would never degrade anything between us like that but

I also don't what you to throw away the years you invested with Tanya."

"For the record Tanya and I called off our engagement mutually; and it has been over a month now since we called it off"

Bella had this faraway look in her eyes as she took in everything I just said.

"Why did you guys call off the engagement if you don't mind me asking?"

"She asked me some questions and I was completely honest with her."

"Please don't be vague with me."

"It was the morning after I found you on the beach that we called off the engagement." I paused as I saw her breathing become labored

"Get that thought out your mind right now Bella. It's not your fault that we broke up."

She shook her head ignoring my statement as she blurted out "what was the question she asked you?"

I took a deep breathe thinking here it goes. I was about to lay everything out on the line.

"She asked me was I still in love you"

"You said you answer her questions honestly right?" I nodded my head in agreement

"Wh.....What was your answer?" She asked hesitantly

"I told her yes but that wasn't the question that caused us to reevaluate were we stood with each other." I told her pointedly

Bella just remained quiet staring at me expectantly

"The first part of her question after I told her that I was still in love with you was if I still love her. And like I told

You before I was completely honest with her. I told her I still do and she asked me if it was enough."

Bella still remained silent taking all of this in and it didn't escape my notice that her eyes kept flicking back to the picture frame. She opened her mouth to speak however no words came out. Finally she just said "please continue."

I knew it wasn't what she wanted to originally said but at least she wasn't running to the door yet; especially after

I just admitted I was still in love with her.

"It took me awhile to answer if it was enough because honest I truly didn't know, I even told her that. We talked a lot that morning and we both came to realize that what we shared was just comfort and companionship. She never said it but I could see it in her eyes that she was thinking about the guy before me. You see when I met Tanya it was when I was under the impression that I would never see you again or worst that you were dead. Tanya at the time came out a tragic relationship as well. For so reason we both never talked about our respective past. It was like some unwritten by law between us. Eventually if you don't talk about something it'll be as if it didn't exist. That's why it wasn't until we met up again that Tanya finally did learn about you. It wasn't that I was ashamed to talk about you but it was too painful especially with the thought that you were dead. Tanya and I didn't share a love that was all consuming. If anything it was just easy for us." I stopped talking when I realized I was rambling while Bella appeared to look shellshock.

She got up from off the floor and walked over to the picture frame picking it up.

"Out of all the pictures I have with the kids in it this one is my favorite." She said smiling up to me

"When you gave it to me I went out and made three copies. I put one in each of the kids' room, here in the living room and one in your grandmother's locket; that holds a picture of you as a child with your parents. This is my favorite picture of them because out of all the pictures I have of them not one of them has their father in it but this one.

I've made a lot of mistakes Edward in the past but these two right here." she said point to our kids in the picture "are the best thing that could of ever happen to me; and what has kept me going throughout the years. That night when they were conceived I finally realized how much I truly did love you. I didn't come to this realization due to the act of us being intimate. Like I told you before a song on a juke box in a bar opened my eyes.

All my life growing up I wanted.... I needed the love of my parents. I felt like I was unworthy without their love so without knowing the love of my parents; how could anyone possible love me when the people that gave me life couldn't even love me?" She sobbed

I went to go and comfort her but she held her hand out halting me in my steps.

"As I grew older I went out in attempts to seek out those emotions I kept hidden and never received. Funny thing is what I wanted and needed was standing right in front of me all along. I just threw it away thinking it was nothing but pity you felt for me out of some sort of obligation.

Because how someone so pure of life, beauty and love could possible love someone as broken and lost like me.

So I spent years ignoring what was in front of me. However when I finally acknowledge it and open myself up to the idea of love and actually loving someone.....Well you know how that turned out.

I almost lost faith in love after that but two little blessing restored my faith in love. I vowed they would always know love and would never need nor want nothing that they should already have from a parent.

I broke that vow the moment I made it by not letting you in their life sooner..."

I began to protest her last statement. She may have denied our children of knowing me sooner but we're both equally to blame for that "Bella those children don't need and want anything when it comes to love. You've nurtured them and gave them so much as a single parent."

"But you wrong, I didn't nor could I have given them the one thing they need back then which was you. I let fear rule my life then and I'm still letting it rule my life now." She said sadly

"What exactly are you trying to say Bella?"

"I want to give them what my parents never gave me; two loving parents that care for them deeply and would go to the end of the world for them. Most importantly though I want what this picture portrays."

"You can have that, they can have and we most certainly can have that Bella."

"I've waited so long to hear those words from you Edward and I truly do love you with all my heart."

"Why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming?"

"Because there is." she replied looking everywhere but me

"I'm too late aren't I?" her head snapped up instantaneously as she walked over to me placing one of her hands on my cheek.

"You could never be too late." she whispered looking deeply into my eyes. I went to speak and she place her fingers on my lips silencing me

"Please understand that while I'm madly and deeply in love with you Edward, we need to take whatever this is between is extremely slow. Yes I love you and want to be with you but like I said earlier I still have a lot of fears to over come first. We also have much to discuss between us and nearly 6 years of catching up to do. I want no regrets between us Edward, so I think it would be best we start over in the friendship zone first."

She used the friend word which to most would be the word of rejection in a situation like this; however I knew with Bella this was the right course of action.

"I can handle that." She wrapped her arms around me as we just stood in one another's embrace.

_**End of Flashback**_

I walked into the park and sat on the bench just watching my son play with his mother. Just the sight of them both made my heart swelled with so much pride.

It made me even happier that I decided to fight harder for my family a month ago.

"Daddy" AJ called out looking up at me as he ran from his mother to greet me.

I scooped him up in my arms and peppered him with kisses. "How's it going Buddy?"

"Good, mommy and I went to see

Sissy and then we came to the park even though mommy not feeling well."

I looked up at Bella and even though she was smiling, I could see the tiredness in her eyes. Not to mention the dark circles underneath them.

I looked back at my son placing him on the floor "Well we'll have something extra special for her to make her feel better." I whispered

He nodded his head running back over to his mom. I followed behind him smiling at Bella as I reached her I gave her a lingering hug. "How are you feeling?" I asked with the upmost concern

"I'm feeling much better. I truly believe it's the coffee. I had some last night and it made me feel extremely off. This morning made me realize whenever I drink the one that I received in the gift basket last week I become ill."

I pulled a loose strand of her hair that was dangling in her face and placed it behind her hair. "If you want I could keep AJ tonight?"

She leaned into the hand that was press against her cheek "not that I'm opposed to that idea but he just started sleeping back at home. Besides you have dinner plans with Esme and the others tonight"

"You know my invitation still stands

Esme would love to have you and AJ to join us for dinner?"

"I know but you guys need tonight besides we're still on for tomorrow right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

We parted our ways shortly and I went home to get ready to meet up with Esme and the others.

During dinner I received a frantic phone call that changed my life; as the person on the line said two words effectively shattering my world.

I hung up the phone not even realizing I was crying. "Edward" Esme called out to me as I just looked up to her so lifeless

"Is everything alright?" She asked

I just got up from the table muttering the same two words that broke me **"She's Gone"**

* * *

**Author's Note**

**Extremely interest and evil cliffy huh? Any guesses?**

**I was going to do both Bella and Edward's POV put I thought it would work out better revealing the cliffy in Bella's POV. Bella's POV will begin from earlier in the day (When Edward has dinner with the others) and_ end with a big reveal_. I have no preview for next chapter being that I'm doing Bella's next instead of in this one.**


	41. The Beginning of The End She's Gone

**The Beginning of The End.....**

* * *

BPOV

If I had know today would have ended the way it did I would of never went home and took Edward up on his offer…

Being sick from that coffee caused me to be extremely restless, that now I have bags under my eyes. However I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen today and that I needed to be around my love ones.

I got up out of bed feeling extremely groggy and disorientated. God what's wrong with me? I muttered to myself as went to AJ's room to wake him up.

I had to walk to his room bracing the walls because I was swaying in my steps. If I didn't know any better I were swear I had some sort of drug induce hangover.

I walked into his room sitting on the edge of his bed, running my fingers through his hair "Time to wake up sweetie" I whispered as I kissed him on his forehead

I got up off his bed to go get clothes for him out his closet however as soon as I took two steps I began staggering again, tripping over thin air.

"Mommy are you okay?" AJ ask with sleep still in his voice

I turned my head smiling at my son "Mommy fine baby just being clumsy again. Why don't you go wash up while I get your clothes and breakfast ready?"

AJ nodded his head and got out his bed. He began heading to his connected bathroom, when he turns back around to run up to me hugging me and giving me I kiss "I love you mommy"

"I love you too angel, now go get ready."

I waited till my son close his bathroom door and listen for him to turn on the water before crawling to his closet door.

Once at his closet door, I used the door to pull myself up.

Just exhaustion Bella, I told myself. I mean really could coffee have an effect on me like this way?

I pulled out his clothes and slowly moved to put it on his bed. I stood by his bed for a moment staring at the photo of the four us smiling before leaving his room.

Once making it downstairs I decided to make something light for us to have for breakfast.

As in was putting the toast in the toaster I reach for the house phone to call Rosalie. She picked up by the three rings "Morning Belly"

"Hey Rosie didn't wake you did I?"

"No I was up since 6am?"

"Oh okay, I have a favor to ask you

"Sure what's up?"

"I woke up this morning feeling extremely exhausted also kind of ill and don't feel comfortable driving; I was wondering if you weren't too busy would mind driving us around for a bit?"

"You know I don't mind. What time should I stop over?"

"Whenever is good for you Rose. We were going to spend some time at the hospital with Ashley and I have an appointment later today."

"Well I'll be over in about 2 hours."

"Alright I'll see you soon."

"Later Bella" She said hanging up

I put the phone back on the receiver as I headed over to the fridge to grab the orange juice, and butter for the toast.

By the time AJ came downstairs I had already dishes out the eggs onto our plates. As we sat down at the table I asked him "guess whose spending the day with us?"

He looked at me so hopeful and happy as he shouted out "daddy"

It tugged my heart that was his response. Over the course of the month after Edward and I had our talk, we made sure we both spent as much time with AJ.

Edward has even been so understanding when I state to just take things slow and remaining as friends for now.

"We may see your daddy later but Auntie Rose is going to be with us all day."

"Cool is uncle Jazz going to be with us too?" I bit into a piece of my toast as he finish asking his question. I hated the distance that's happen between Jasper and I; because not only did it affect me but my children as well.

"We'll see sweetheart" I said noncommittally as we continued to eat our breakfast.

After breakfast I gather our dishes and began cleaning up. I sat with AJ a bit while he watched TV before heading upstairs to wash up and get dress.

Rose arrived shortly after I had gotten out the shower and was in the living room with AJ when I came downstairs.

I walked into the kitchen and put on the kettle to boil some water for tea. My back was turned but I heard her enter the kitchen "You know he asked about him this morning?" No even bothering to elaborate on whom I was talking about.

"What did you tell him?"

I sigh loudly turning around "What should I have told him Rose? I just wish all of this nonsense would end."

"I know belly." She whispered solemnly

I knew I wasn't the only one hurting by this separation. Jasper is her twin they share a deep connection.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring it up, it's just so frustrating."

"I know sweetie, hey how about I take AJ up to my parents' cabin for a bit today."

I paused mid pour and looked up to her. I knew what going up there meant and I was shock she suggested it. "Are you sure that's wise to take him up there?"

"Yes" she stated simply

"But..."

She grabbed my hands into hers "Bella, sweetheart you worry too much. Take a deep breathe and relax okay?"

I just nodded my head yes. "I sorry Rose it's just with everything going on I guess the stress of it all is getting to be too much.

"How's therapy going?"

"It's only been a month and right now I'm seeing Dr Cheney three times a week. He's really helping me with my issues and fears. I know you don't understand why I told Edward we needed to just be friends for now; but I swear to you Rose if Edward and I jumped into a relationship we wouldn't last. I need to resolve my issues first."

"I get it now Bella, I really do. Work on you first then work on the foundation of your relationship with Edward. No a love like the one you guys share shouldn't be neglected or abandon."

"You know I'm still kind of pissed off you never share with me the fact that Edward wasn't suing for custody or that he was no longer with that wretched Tanya."

"It was never my place to tell."

"I know Rosie but I'm so grateful he has you when he didn't even have his own family well except for Alice." I sneer her name with such distaste

Rose nodded her head agreeing with me.

As I finished up drinking my tea I called out to AJ to put on his shoes, so we could head out the door.

The drive to the hospital was extremely peaceful and even though I still felt something was off about today, I had nothing but good vibes as I entered Ashley's room.

I went over to the vase with the lilies in them on the table next her bed and changed the water.

I came out in time to see AJ crawl into the bed next to her and the site of it tugged at my heart. When I went to put the vase back Dr Lavery walked into the room asking if he could speak to me outside

I nodded my head and walked over kissing my daughter's forehead and whispering to AJ that Rose and I were going to be right outside.

In the hallway Rose wrapped her arms around me as Dr Lavery began to speak.

"Ms. Cullen last night Ashley showed positive signs that she might be waking soon."

I couldn't help the hopeful smile that spread across my face as I grabbed Rose's free hand "What kind of signs?"

"Well her eyelids has been fluttering frequently and her fingers began twitching as well. We're remaining positive that these movements aren't involuntary movements and that Ashley could be up any day now.

Also Ashley's white blood cell count has been slowly increasing since the last blood transplant she's received."

For once I wasn't running the opposite direction of this doctor and the tears that I was shedding wasn't tears of anguish but joy.

My little girl was going to wake up soon and was slowly getting better; but more importantly it meant that she was still fighting hard to get back to us

"Does Edward know yet?"

"No I was informed when arrived this morning of Ashley's progress and I came to the room assuming that I'll find you both there so as of right now your the only one who knows."

"Do you mind if I'll be the one to tell him?"

"Of course not, a nurse should be in shortly to start Ashley's treatment."

I smiled as the doctor walked away. I turned to Rose and gave her the biggest hug ever. "Hey do you mind staying in the room while I make a phone call?"

Rose gave me a stern looked which pretty much sad do you even have to ask. I ended up walking out the hospital in order to use my cell phone. I immediately dialed Edward's phone however after 5 rings it went straight to voicemail. I left a brief message telling him to call me back as soon as possible.

As I hung up my phone began ringing and I answered without looking at the caller ID. "Hey Edward."

"Ah this is Jacob, Bella."

"Oh hey Jacob..." I said trailing off

"Guess you were expecting to hear from Edward? I assume things are working well with you guys?"

"Edward and I are as to be expected."

I responded vaguely before continuing "I thought you were him calling me back. I'm at the hospital and just received news about AJ and wanted to inform him."

"Well I hope the new is good?"

"Yeah it's a bit hopeful for the most part."

"That's great Bella. Hey I was calling because I wanted to know if you wanted to grab so lunch later."

"That's a great offer but I'm going to have to decline. I'm spending so time with AJ before he goes somewhere with Rosalie."

"Oh okay, maybe some other time?"

"Yeah that'll be great" I replied before hanging up the phone to head back into the hospital.

Upon entering back Ashley's room I saw the nurse preparing to start her treatment. That's when I suggested for Rose to head up to the lake house with AJ. I then hugged and kissed my little boy.

Once alone in Ashley's room I took off my shoes and climb into her bed pulling her gently into my embrace. "The doctor told me some good news today my little angel, your coming back to us." I said as I cradle her in my arms

"You don't understand how hearing just that tiny glimpse of hope made me day. Just knowing your fighting everyday to get back to us is a blessing. You're keeping your part of the deal and I just wanted you to know I'm still keeping up my side too. It's hard but doing it for us baby girl." I whispered to her as I thought back to the promise I made over a month ago to her

**Flashback**

_For years I envision the day Edward would tell me he love's me and want to spend the rest of his life with me and our children. My mind was telling me to safeguard my heart because this man has the ability to destroy me. Throughout the last few years I come to realize I was barely living. If it weren't for my children I would have been a shell of a person._

_My children have been my strength for so long and everything I've done throughout the years; I've done with them in mind because one day I want them to be proud of the person I've become._

_I wanted my children to have someone to look up to and the old me was definitely not something to be proud of._

_I only made one sacrifice for both my children and I. I sacrificed my heart which in turn meant my children not knowing their father._

_I could if dated throughout the years but what was the point when my heart already belongs to someone else. Truly I believe Edward held my heart since we were four years old._

_That man saved me in more ways than I can even count. So it really fucking hurt all those years back when he kicked me to the curb when I was trying to tell him life changing news._

_I spent so many years fighting the love and attraction I held for Edward. That when I'm finally able to acknowledge it, he casts me away just like everyone else I ever let inside my heart._

_That castaway nearly killed me but the lives I carried inside of me saved me. Now hearing him profess his undying love for me, God I just felt so scared and unsure about everything. Had Edward made this confession when we first saw each other I would of threw myself in his arms and NEVER let him go. Edward had taught me a valuable lesson on love lost and love gain. _

_I knew Rosalie was right but she wouldn't understand where I was coming from. I needed someone to talk to but I knew I couldn't go to the people I normally went to._

_Rose was siding with Edward. Actually her exact words were "I'm not just siding with just Edward but with your heart as well. It's been ignored for far too many years and needs someone to advocate for it."_

_I definitely couldn't go to Jacob. I need to distant myself from him completely. I cannot keep relying on him emotionally when I feel and know he wants more than what I can give him. Even if I wanted to, it's not mine to give._

_I found myself standing outside Ashley's hospital room._

_"Hey Angel, it's me mommy."_

_I looked at my daughter and it truly saddens me. Ashley's once curly beautiful bronze locks are completely gone._

_"Even without your beautiful mane you're still the most beautiful little girl ever." I smiled down upon my sleeping beauty and silently prayed to god to watch over my Angel and bring her back home to us healthy._

_I hate the fact that she was in a coma now fighting for her life. I hate the fact that she's fucking sick regardless. Most importantly I wish I had her courage. This little Angel fought to live when she was born and survived against all odds. She fought her way back to us twice when she coded within the last month._

_My baby is a fighter while I'm a goddamn coward. She's fought from day one while I ran. She's fighting still and instead of opening my heart I'm running all over again._

_"I'll make you a promise baby girl" I whispered as I crawled into the bed next to her._

_I wrapped my arms around my sleeping angel and cried "AJ misses his sissy and your dad...... He love's you so much you know and he wants nothing more than to be a father to both you and AJ. Did you know I robbed him almost six years that he can never get back?_

_Not a day goes by that I wish I didn't do things differently. I was so scared then Ash. Heck I'm even more scared now. I have more to lose now than I did then." I sigh_

_"If I were to lose..." I shook my head at that thought because it's just not me anymore as the only parent in their lives._

_In all honesty Ash, I would love nothing more for AJ, you, your dad and I to be one big happy family._

_Your father and your auntie Rose think my reasons are to protect my heart. While I may of lead them to believe that the truth of the matter is that's not the real reason why I can't be with you father._

_My reasons run deep within me. I know what it felt like to lose your father once and that nearly destroyed me. I do not know what it's like to lose a child Ashley. And don't you think for a second I'm giving up on you. I'm just letting you know my fears and reason._

_If I were to lose you I know I couldn't survive that type of pain fully but most important your dad well that WILL destroy him._

_Your dad told me how much he loves me and wants us to have a fighting chance. I want to believe that so badly Ashley but I cannot get past one of the most important fears in my life."_

_My vision was getting blurry as my tears continued silently "Losing you, that's my most important fear. Your daddy may love me now but if we were to lose you that love will turn to hatred. I know if I were to tell him and your auntie Rose my fear they'll deny it; but no matter what they say I'll know it to be true._

_Like I said before Ashley, I robbed your daddy almost six years. Six years he can never get back. Six years of not knowing his children. First words, first steps, first tooth, first tooth lost, first father's day, you guys first Christmas, especially first day of kindergarten. Your daddy missed many of firsts because of me that I can never get back and if you were.....If we were to lose you there would be no hope for your father and I. I had those six glorious years he missed out on, while he only had what 4-5 months?_

_I cannot lose you and have your daddy hating me at the same time. I know you're too young to understand this and you may not even heard anything I told you this entire time, with you being in a coma and all._

_I need you to understand one thing. Your father has always been my every thing since we were four years old. It just took me a long time to realize how deep my feelings ran for your father. The moment I realize these feelings; my life changed forever. On that day your father completed my life by giving me three greatest gifts._

_He gave me apart of himself that he could never give to no one else but most importantly he gave me two most_

_Important treasures that I hold dear to my heart, AJ and you are those treasures Ashley._

_All four of us make a whole and if I was only half living with just the three of us. God I don't even want to imagine what it'll be like losing you. I need all three of you to make me whole so please continue fighting baby girl. Like I said before I'll make you a promise. I'll fight for your father and I but I need you to help me Ashley. I cannot do this without you. I need you to continue fighting. I need you to wake up out of this coma. I need to hear that beautiful laughter of yours but most importantly I need you so that your father can experience many first to come._

_We can't give him back the ones he missed but we can give him many more. I have so much fate in you my angel. I know it's not your time yet so just work on getting better and I promise to fight for our family; also I'll tell you father how much I want, love and need him in my life._

_I'm going to go back to my old therapist so I can get past my fears. I am going to take this time to rebuild the relationship between your dad and me. I'm going to stop running Ashley, I cannot continue to let fear rule me Anymore."_

**End of Flashback**

I don't remember at what precise moment I fell asleep however I woke up with a start as I felt someone caress my face. "Sorry didn't mean to startle you" I heard a voice say from beside me

I smiled at the voice as I adjusted Ashley out of my embrace so that I could get out off the bed. "How long have you been here?" I asked as I sat up over the side of the bed slipping my shoes on

"For about an hour or so"

"Why didn't you wake me up sooner?" I asked as I stood up from the bed

"You looked so peaceful I didn't have the heart to wake you." He said with so much sincerity as he stared into my eyes before his smile turned mischievous "did you know you still talk in your sleep?"

I groaned as I went to hug him "What did I say?" I mumbled into his chest

"Oh you just talked mostly about the kids and you did said my name a few times."'

I just nodded my head as I step out of his embrace "I spoke to Dr Lavery this morning." I said turning around grasping Ashley's hand.

Edward stood directly behind me giving me a gentle squeeze on my shoulder "What did he say?"

"He's hopeful that she's coming back to us. Last night she made a few brief movements. He also said that she's slowly improving due to the blood and bone marrow transplant she received"

"That's the best news we could receive" he whispered

I nodded my head agreeing with him

"Where's AJ?"

"He went to Rose's parent's cabin a couple hours ago. They should be on their way back soon. AJ would love to see you. He was asking about you earlier."

"I'll love to see him too."

"How about you join us for dinner tonight?"

Edward didn't reply right away and I turned around to face him and it appeared to be that he was debating something with himself; so I began to retract my offer. "It was just a suggestion Edward its okay to..."

He cut me off by placing his hand over my mouth "I didn't answer right away because I was thinking of possibly cancelling my dinner plans with Esme."

"You cannot cancel your plans with Esme"

"It's not really Esme I'll be cancelling on just Alice mainly." He stated

"Alice?" I asked questionable. I still didn't trust no like her

"Yeah she suggested dinner tonight to make amends. I was hesitant to agree but Esme truly believes she wants to make amends with me. I told Esme I would go but if she mention you badly in anyway I wouldn't stay."

I just nodded my head "Don't cancel, Esme really want this and you wouldn't want to disappoint her."

"Okay but I still want to spend some time with AJ. How about I see him before I go to dinner and the three of us have dinner together tomorrow?"

"That'll be great. We could meet up at the park down the street for me about 3pm?"

"That'll be perfect" was his only response

I left him at the hospital as I took a cab home. Once home I decided to do some cleaning; as I was cleaning up I ran to the bathroom and began dry heaving. I groan resting my face against the cold tile which was the position that Rosalie and AJ found me when they came back.

"Mommy are you okay?" AJ asked

"I'm fine baby" I said as I looked at Rosalie pleadingly and a moment later she ushered AJ out of the bathroom

I pulled myself up off the floor and began to wash my mouth out.

"How was your trip to the lake house? I asked as I entered the living room?"

"It was great mommy I had so much fun." He replied as he came running to me to give me a hug.

I looked up at Rosalie and saw the worry in her face "Hey little guy why don't you go upstairs and get your baseball glove and ball so we can go and meet daddy at the park."

He nodded his head before running off upstairs

"What's wrong Bella and don't bullshit me neither?"

"I really wish I knew but ever since I received that gift basket from Jacob, the coffee in it hasn't been agreeing with me. I assure that's all that's wrong with me."

"It you say so" She replied eying me suspiciously

I just nodded my head "Look I'm heading to the park to me up with Edward and afterwards I have an appointment which is a surprise for Ashley. Stop by later tonight okay.'

Rosalie nodded her head as I we headed out the door

We stayed at the park for an hour with Edward before we both parted our ways.

I had just come back from my Locks of Love appointment with AJ, as he went upstairs to take a nap. I stared in the mirror at my new haircut. My hair was extremely short now but it would all be worth it. I couldn't doo much for Ashley now that she's sick but this was the one thing I could give her besides my love. My hair was going to be used to make a wig for her.

I watched TV for awhile and my eyes started to become heavy. I went upstairs to check on AJ and was worried for a moment when I didn't find him in his bed. I saw that his bathroom door was open and so was the door leading to Ashley's room. I walked in to see him sleeping in his sisters' bed and decided to leave him there.

I walked out the same way I came into the room and headed off to my bedroom to lay down for a bit. I don't even recall at what moment I fell asleep. All I do know is I was startle out my sleep by someone's hand clamp over my mouth as they straddle my waist.

I attempted to fight the person off of me but my fighting instinct left me as soon as I felt cool metal against my temple. Instantly my mind went three doors down to my Ashley's room where my son was still sound asleep hopefully.

The person my have had a mask on cover their identity but as soon as they spoke I knew exactly who my attacker was.

"Attempt anything like that again and I will kill you sooner rather than later Bella."

I just nodded my head slowly as his words click in my mind. Regardless I was going to die. As he moved his hand slowly from my mouth I asked him "why Jacob why are you doing this?"

He used his free hand to remove the mask from his face. Jacob features that I once found adorable looked so menacing

He just smiled a sinister looking smile before telling me not to worry my pretty little head off with matters that didn't concern me.

My mind was reeling with possible scenarios on why he would be doing this and if there was any chance I could make it out of here alive.

The only conclusion I could come up with was rejection. Had I not just rejected him days ago? Would someone tell you they didn't want to be with you drive one to such insanity?

"Please Jacob don't do this. My little girl is sick and might be dying. I'll give you anything you want. I won't tell anyone about this. Please I'm begging you." I cried out as I tried not to let on that I wasn't alone in the house. If it was the last thing I do protecting my son would be worth it.

He looked at me with so much hatred and with a calculating look "let me fuck you" he said simply

Surely I didn't hear him correctly "What?"

"You let me fuck you and I'll let you go however you cannot be a dead fish when I fuck you nor must you fake it."

I just stared at him as my mind attempted to process a request like that.

Here is a lunatic pointing a gun at me stating he'll let me going if I allowed him to fuck me. I may be desperate to survive but I was far from naive. It couldn't be that easy could it?

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" I asked even though I had no intention of even doing what he just suggested. It was my attempt to buy myself some more time.

He slide the gun slowly down from my temple with a smile before shoving it into my mouth "I always knew you were such a whore Izzy B; but don't fret I'll be fucking you soon enough" He said as I felt something prick me in my neck. As darkness began to take over me I realized something he called me Izzy B. Only one person ever called me that which meant Jacob was an alias he was using and I let a very dangerous man back into my life.

* * *

**A/N**

**Yeah I know some of you thought when I said she's gone meant that Ashley died but nope she's still alive. Bella has been kidnap from someone from him past.**

**Yes there is a mystery surrounding who the real JB is.**

**Next chapter we get a POV many of you have been waiting for. Yes Esme is finally getting her say. I'll also be throwing in Rosalie's POV. Her's is going to be extremely important and insightful. Secrets and lies will be revealed. Rosalie will do just about anything to protect someone dear to her heart even possible commit a murder?**

**Preview**

**Esme's POV**

_I look at my daughter not even recognizing her. How can someone be full with such hatred? One would think she didn't come from a loving home and her needs were neglected as a child. The way she treated Bella is just sicken me._

_But then again now with Bella suddenly disappearing leaving nothing but a goodbye letter in her absence, how can I not doubt foul play is involved._

_Things that happen today now has me so suspicious. We gave Alice an alibi. Last week when she suggest we all got together for dinner I thought nothing of it until now. She was adamant that the dinner be today because she was busy on the other days suggested. I cannot believe I brought her pathetic excuse of wanting to make mends with Edward._

_"I don't know how but I know you're responsible for her disappearance. I will prove it and you better pray that I'm wrong because when I'm through with you Mary Alice, you'll wish this grudge you had against Bella died years ago. And you also better pray that Rosalie and Edward don't get to you first….."_

_Rosalie's POV_

_I pulled on my phone not even caring "I need to see you." I whispered into the receiver_

_The lies were eating away at my conscience but I knew no matter what Bella would want me to protect him at all cost. _


	42. Fierce Protectors and Tiny Blessings

**Where did all my reviews go? Thank you Clancy and Miss Reid who has stuck around still 2 is always better than none**

* * *

**RPOV (Rosalie)**

I had just finish working in the garage when my phone started ringing. I rushed into my kitchen to grab my cell phone "Hello"

"He took her" The voice kept saying repeatedly

"AJ baby is that you?"

"He took her" he screamed into the phone

"AJ baby is your mommy there?"

He kept only saying "he took her."

Without even hanging up or giving it a second thought, I grabbed my car keys and rushed over to Bella's with AJ still repeating the same thing over and over.

"AJ Baby, don't hang up okay baby" I pleaded with him frantically

"He took her" was his only response

I continued speeding over to Bella's traffic laws be damned.

I jumped out my car not even bothering to turn off my ignition and rushed into Bella's house.

"Bella, AJ" I called out frantically as I entered however I didn't get any response. I looked in every room downstairs noting nothing out of place before rushing upstairs. I headed to AJ's room immediately and found him curled in a corner with the phone still against him repeating the same thing "he took her"

I removed the phone from his ear and scoop a shell-shocked AJ into my arms.

He just kept repeating "he took her" as I headed to Bella's room

Her room was in such disarray. Clothes were scattered all about, her suitcases were all missing and in the center of her bed was a letter folded neatly.

I picked up the letter and began reading it with AJ still in my arms. I threw the letter back into the bed stumbling backwards with AJ in my arms.

That letter had me seeing red and was loaded with lies. Someone went through enough trouble to make it look Bella just up and disappeared. AJ's words kept repeating in my mind "he took her"

I carried AJ out to my car to grab my cell phone and immediately dialed Bella's number even though it was pointless.

Walking back into the house I sat AJ onto the kitchen counter. "Who took you mommy baby?" I whispered gently to him however he just stared out into space with a vacant look in his eyes

"AJ baby if we going to find your mom you have to talk to me."

With AJ still not responding I became more frantic as I pulled out my phone.

"Rose"

"Bella's missing someone took her while AJ was still in the house. AJ is in a state of shock."

"Did you call anyone else yet?"

"No... I just pulled out my phone and hit your speed dial. Whoever took her went through the trouble to make it seem like she just up and left all on her own."

"Rose I need you to do as I say okay?"

I replied yes as I listened to his directions. I hung up my phone and immediately called Edward

Protect AJ and Ashley I kept repeating to myself as the phone rang

"Hey Rose, I cannot really talk right now......" I cut him off as I blurted out "She's gone"

There was a silent paused before Edward began speaking slowly "What do you mean by she's gone?"

"Bella she's missing. I came to drop AJ back home to find her house empty and her room in disarray......" I trailed off because I couldn't even force myself to continue plus its bad enough that I lied about AJ being with me.

"I'm on my way" he said hanging up

I held AJ in my arms as I thought back to my earlier conversation.

I too agreed that if someone went through enough trouble to make it seem that Bella just vanished, that they had to be under the impression that the house was empty; which meant they wanted no witnesses. I had to protect AJ at all cost no matter what; he was a witness to his mother's disappearance.

If my suspicions are correct then that means somehow that bitch is involved and she's playing a very deadly game. A game I intend to play just as equally too.

She crossed the line by fucking with my family for the last time.

-

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EsmePOV

For months now, I sat back watching the lives of my children spiral out of control. I truly didn't know how bad until I overheard Bella and Edward's conversation awhile back. I thought I was doing right by my children, I thought I gave them all the love, support and guidance they need while growing up.

I knew when my children were younger I gave Edward and Bella the most of my attention; but I always made sure my children wants were met first. Well at least I thought I was meeting their needs.

Edward just lost his parents and I lost my twin sister. I knew when Edward was growing up he only sort comfort in me because I looked exactly like his mother.

And I allowed him to have that solace because he was the only thing I had left connected to my sister.

I tried not to have favorites but Edward and Bella held a special place in my heart. Not too many people can go through the things those two had to go through and come out on top; especially Bella.

Bella struggle her whole entire life even though she hid it well. A mother knows best. I see the longing and pain in Bella's eyes everytime Edward's name is mention or if he's in the same room.

When growing up Bella never showed any feelings. She kept everything bottled up because she didn't want to appear weak. She fought so hard to capture her parents love and affection, that their rejection killed her slowly day-by-day.

Edward was the only one who could make her see reason. His love healed her broken soul. Too bad at the time Bella's feelings were buried so deep that she confused her love for Edward as brotherly.

I wish I had known what Bella had wanted to share with Edward the day we lost her. So many misunderstandings could have been cleared up. Then Edward, her and the children would not of lost precious years together.

I look at Edward and I feel that I've failed my sister. Edward lost his true love and now he may be losing his family; however what saddens me the most is that this is all my daughters doing.

I look at my daughter not even recognizing her. How can someone be full with such hatred? One would think she didn't come from a loving home and her needs were neglected as a child.

The way she treated Bella is just sicken and whatever thing that's been going on lately I wouldn't put it past her if she knew were Bella was along.

I refuse to believe Alice could be that callous. As manipulative as I've seen her lately I still refuse to believe she would cause her own family such pain by deliberately withholding Bella's whereabouts all these years.

But then again now with Bella suddenly disappearing leaving nothing but a goodbye letter in her absence, how can I not doubt foul play is involved.

Things that happen today now have me so suspicious. We gave Alice an alibi. Last

week when she suggests we all got together for dinner I thought nothing of it until now. She was adamant that the dinner be today because she was busy on the other days suggested. I cannot believe I brought him pathetic excuse of wanting to make mends with Edward.

I talked Edward into coming to dinner with us for a couple of hours because I hated my children fighting with one another. Edward was hesitant when I told him this was Alice's idea. He had said "I cannot be in the same room with her if she constantly berated Bella."

I told him she wanted his forgiveness and wanted him to help her make mends with Bella. I even told him she didn't like our family divided like this.

My own daughter fucking played me like a fiddle.

We were all standing in Bella's living room at a lost to what to do. I saw Rosalie smack and whisper furiously with a distraught Edward. Edward appeared not to be listening to whatever Rosalie was saying to him as she kept waving Bella's letter around.

It didn't escape my attention the menacing look Rosalie gave Alice as she pulled Edward outside with all her might.

Emmett and Carlisle took AJ upstairs leaving Alice and me alone in the room. I looked one more time towards the patio were Rosalie and Edward disappeared to before approaching Alice.

When I was directly in front of her I raised my hand and did the one thing I vowed to never do. Alice looked shocked as I smacked her.

"I don't know how but I know you're responsible for her disappearance. I will prove it and you better pray that I'm wrong because when I'm through with you Mary Alice you'll wish this grudge you had against Bella died years ago. And you also better pray that Rosalie and Edward don't get to you first. Because no matter how hard you try you cannot break the bond between them. The fact you were able to come between her and Jasper just means one thing; he's weak and was never a true friend to begin with. You disgust me and as of now YOU'RE cut off and the only daughter I have is Bella."

Alice had opened her mouth to speak when Rosalie came back into the living room. She looked at Alice with so much disgust.

"Bella would never allow you into her house so I believe it would be wise if you get the hell out." she spat with so much venom.

As Alice walked past Rosalie, Rosalie grabbed her arm looking her directing in the eye "You think you're so clever but your not. When Edward is not too emotional and come to his senses he'll realize things are not what they seem with Bella's disappearance. This is far from over bitch; you may have my brother fooled but not me."

Rosalie released her walking towards the patio door just staring sadly at

Edward.

I watched Alice leave and I walked over to Rosalie wrapping my arm around her as she began to cry. I never seen her look so defeat since the day I met her.

"Bella didn't write that letter." She sobbed

"I believe you." I told her as I comfort her

"The cops cannot do anything for another 48 hours. She could be dead or something by then. Someone took her from us."

I didn't know what else to say to comfort her so I just held her tightly.

"Did you know she saved my life when we first met, if it wasn't for her I would have been dead?"

I shook my head no

"I was brutally raped and beaten by four men. They left me in an alley naked, batter and pretty much knocking on deaths door. With the little energy I had left I crawled to the opening of the alley calling out for help. It was late at night no one was around and I just knew I was going to die at the mouth of the alley. However Fate had other plans for me when Bella heard my cries."

I held onto Rosalie tighter as she told me her story and my heart soar with pride knowing the fact that Bella saved her life.

"Bella threw her coat over me in attempts to keep me warm and to cover me up. She got up and I thought she was going to leave me. I clung unto her with all the strength I had and begged her not to leave me. She got down on her knees and told me she'll be right back once she finds a payphone to call the police. She was gone for all but two minutes and never left my side. Even when they loaded me on the ambulance she refused to leave my side.

Bella has been a constant in my life since then. She was there for me during my father's death and mother's suicide. Many think I'm the strength in our friendship but it's her. I would take a bullet for her and her children. And now that she's missing I feel so lost without her. We have to find her." She cried

All I said was "I know, we'll find her soon and bring her home."

She looked up to me and smiled "thank you"

"No need for thanks among family Rosalie."

She wiped her tears and went back outside to comfort Edward.

I watched them and my heart went out to the both of them. My heart broke watching them sob into each others arm and I just knew I had to do something to bring Bella back home.

"Hey sorry for calling so late this is Esme Cullen, I need your help."

-

-

-

**RPOV**

I found myself alone on the patio just staring off into space. Edward had gone inside to check on AJ and I had no idea what the others were up to.

With everything that was going on I felt at a completely lost. I knew when I picked up my phone to call him it was a big risk on my part. However in light of after everything that's happening it was a risk I was willing to take at the moment. I just needed to know.

He answered on the second ring "I need to see you." I blurted out as soon as he answered

"With everything that's going on now I really don't think that's wise Rosalie. We still must keep up the pretense"

"I know, I know I'm putting everything we've worked for at risk especially now but..." I sobbed into the phone

I heard him sigh heavily into the phone before speaking "Meet me at our usual meeting place around noon tomorrow."

"Okay" I sniffle

"Rose"

"Yes" I whispered

"I love you."

"I love you too" I said as I hung up the phone

I hung up the phone turning around to go inside only to see Edward standing behind me. "Hey how's AJ doing?"

"He's just seem so lost. He fell asleep holding a picture of his mother."

I smiled sadly at him before speaking "No matter what was going in her life she made sure she was always home to put them to bed and to tell them how much she love's them. I just know that she'll fight her damnest to get back home to the ones she love."

(cut)"You really believe she didn't write the letter?"

Thinking back to my emotions when I read the letter I saw red. It was loaded with goddamn lies. Bella would have never abandon her children especially when one is sick nor did she ever thought they were a burden or an instrumental tool to get Edward.

Besides whoever wrote that letter didn't know certain things that recently happen especially that both their love for each other was return. The only thing keeping those two apart was Bella's fear. I knew Bella was lying when she said she couldn't trust Edward and that was the reason keeping them apart.

I never tried to correct her because I knew her real reason was a rational one.

Bella always said she has two greatest fears and one already happen. She vowed she'll move heaven and hell before the other one happen. She made so many sacrifices for her children and their happiness; that it'll only be natural her greatest fear is losing one or any of them, which has now a likely possibility. Bella already blamed herself for the absences of Edward in their lives.

I know Alice is responsible due to the last part in the letter where it claims Edward wasn't Bella's first. I reached into my back pocket pulling out the offensive piece of paper and handed it to him. "Read this fully without skimming through it and you'll see the lies clearly. Bella love's her children and would give her own life for them. You had doubts and misunderstandings once in regards to Bella and it caused you both 5 1/2 years you cannot get back. Bella will need you to be strong for the kids but most importantly to believe in her especially now, don't make that same mistake twice by losing fate. I have to believe she'll find her way back home."

I was glad I was able to talk sense into Edward once he calm down and got him to see the letter for what it really was a load of fucking lies.

We both agree that we wouldn't share our suspicions with anyone. Edward didn't want to believe Alice had anything to do with Bella's disappearance but she's the only one with that much hatred and animosity towards Bella. We decided once the 48 hours was up we'll work secretly with the police, however I knew I would be hindering the investigation by not informing them there's an eye witness; but AJ was to be protected at all cost no matter what.

As I walked past him to head inside Edward grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. "For what its worth Rose thank you and I know you and Emmett are going through some things right now but if anything I've learn over the last few months fight hard if its worth it."

I just nodded my head in understanding but until Bella was home with her family my personal life would have to be on hold besides too many lies isn't a good way to start a relationship.

I went up to AJ's room pulling the rocking chair closer to his bed so that I could sit near him. "I'll protect you at all cost sweetheart" I whispered into his ear before curling up in the chair and falling asleep. I was woken up by Edward gently tapping me on the shoulder motioning me to follow him. Once outside the room I ask him if there was any news about Bella and he shook his head no before speaking "I just got off the phone with the hospital. Ashley woke up 12 hours ago screaming for Bella. They had to sedate her but as of right now she's out her coma and resting soundly."

I looked at my watch sighing she woken up around the time AJ called me in shocked "Why weren't we notified sooner?"

"They tried reaching Bella cell but it's going directly to voicemail and apparently her land line is disconnected which is making your kidnap theory sounder. I went out to my car about 30 mins ago to grab my cell when I saw the missed calls."

I went downstairs to make us a batch of coffee and thought that at least we had some good news within the darkness. As I was making the coffee my mind was reeling at possible accomplices Alice may have being that she had an air tight alibi. I began pouring the coffee into a few mugs for Edward, Esme and myself when I remember Bella's earlier statement about it making her ill for the last few weeks.

Not wanting to make anyone sick I poured the coffee down the drain and just made us tea instead, however as I poured the coffee down the drain my mind wonder to Jacob and how he suddenly appeared around the same time Alice attempted to get closer to Bella. I peek towards the direction of the living room pulling out a Ziploc bag to put some of the grounded coffee into in. It was only on a wimp but I had a feeling I was on the right track.

Once morning arrived we all just sat there staring off into space just waiting for something. What that something was we don't know but it took AJ screaming for his mom to send us all running up the stairs. Once Edward had calm AJ down a bit I decided to head out to visit Ashley, for I knew if Bella was here she wouldn't have wanted her baby girl to wake up alone.

When I arrived I was told they had to sedate her again due to her screaming. I figured it had to be some sort of weird twin connection thing her and AJ had going on because again it was around the same time he woke up screaming. I just sat by her bedside reading to her just like Bella would do.

I looked at my watch realizing the time and kissed Ashley on her forehead. "I'll be back soon baby girl. You keep resting and hopefully when I come back I'll have good news for you."

I left the hospital and drove out to my parent's cabin. When I pulled up I saw that his car was already there. I didn't even bother taking the keys out the ignition as I ran up to him and hugged him with dear life.

I missed not having him around for the last few months. "You weren't followed?" I asked

He ran his hand through my hair playfully and gave me a look that said "you should know better than that."

"Don't you dare give me that look Jasper Hale. You and I know that bitch is psychotic. I'm afraid what she'll do to you if she were to learnt you've been spying on her for months. I don't know how Jasper but I know she's responsible for Bella's disappearance."

"I promise you'll I'll be safe Rosie but I definitely cannot pullout of this now especially with Bella missing."

I shook my head to clear it as I held onto my brother tighter. "You know Bella wanted you to stop all this once Edward told her he was dropping the custody hearing?"

"Yes I know but Bella's life wasn't ever in any danger from Edward. Look

I can't stay long and you soon have to get back. Here is some information dad's old military contacts were able to dig up on Alice."

I took the Manila envelope from him, hugging him one more time before letting him go. "Be safe Jasper"

"I will Rosie."

I watch my brother drive off heading back to that crazy bitch as I thought back to the day he started spying on that psycho.

_**Flashback**_

_It was the day Bella had gotten serve while we were at the restaurant. I had text my brother immediately after she had gotten served. He came directly to the restaurant to be there for Bella. Alice was acting a little bit too weird for my taste that I asked Jasper to follow her._

_What he found out after he followed her that day had my blood boiling and seeing red especially after he got a call two hours later about Bella supposedly attacking her._

_It was then that I came up with my plan for Jasper to spy on Alice. At the time I had thought Edward was behind all of this but I soon learn he was nothing but a confused innocent bystander in all of this._

_He was being manipulated by Alice's lies as well. It had completely slipped my mind to inform Bella of my plan that day however it had worked out perfectly the next morning._

_With Bella not knowing at first she reacted perfectly because Alice was outside Bella's house listening in according to Jasper._

_**End of Flashback**_

I stayed at the cabin for a bit to collect myself as my mind drifted to less than happier places. This place was once filled with so much misery but Bella and her kids made this place happier again; even though to me this place is my hell on earth.

It was in this place I committed my greatest sin and it was in this place I destroyed my parent's marriage.

My father paid the price for my sins and my mother hated the length poppa and Jasper went to protect me; however she went along with it because that's what poppa wanted. Once poppa's fate was seal momma took her own life at this very place.

I walked into the den in my parent's cabin heading straight to the safe; hidden behind a picture of Jasper and I. I turn the dial entering the correct combination; as it opened I look intently at my object of desire.

I grabbed my father gun and walked over to the cabinet by the bookcase which held the ammo. I vowed never to pick up a gun again but I was out for blood just like I was many years ago. This time I wanted no one to protect me……

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_**A/N**_

_**Yeah how many of you thought Rosalie had something to do with Bella's "disappearance" after she made a suspicious phone call? And who saw Jasper's twist coming. Sorry but who would really betray their twin and best friend for a piece of ass?**_

_**So any guesses on how Rosalie destroyed her parents marriage?, How Jasper and her father protected her?**_

_**Rosalie has a dark secret that's been a burden to her for awhile now and only 6 people know. Two of them are dead and the others vowed to protect her secret at all cost Jasper, Bella, Angela and her uncle.**_

_**I want to explain a couple things**_

_**Only Rosalie and Edward of course know full details about certain things that transpired between E such as them having sex and Edward admitting his feelings, the end of Tanya and Edward's relationship.**_

_**Tanya didn't know the extent of Alice's plan but in a way Tanya's actions after ending their engagement is what awakens Edward to see things for what they really are. Oh Tanya will be reappearing on last time and may find herself on the wrong end of Rosalie's rage.**_

_**Bella's going to be gone for awhile and she's going to appear to have a few "medical conditions" One is going to be real and the other she's going to be faking.**_

_**No preview for next chapter I have nothing written yet well I do but I just don't like it as it is. It's missing something**_


	43. Goodbye Letter

**I was going to add two POV'S to this chapter but Edward's ended up being too long so I'm splitting this chapter into two enjoy and thank you all for the reviews…**

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**EPOV**

When I first received Rose's phone call as soon as the words "she's gone" left her mouth I automatically assumed it was Ashley. I wasn't ready to face that reality that was why I had asked her slowly exactly who was gone. Never in a million years would I expect it to be Bella.

My mind just shut off. Hell I don't even know how I managed to drive myself to Bella's safely.

The scene before me when I arrived looked like something out of a goddamn nightmare. Rosalie was sitting on the couch with AJ nestle into her arms, just staring off into space; and AJ was just holding onto her with dear life.

They didn't even hear when I called out to them. It wasn't until I touch Rose that she realized she wasn't alone anymore. "Edward" She whisper solemnly as she jumped out the chair with AJ still in her arms.

I wrapped my arms around both of them tightly in attempts to provide comfort. I cannot recall how long we stood there but we finally broke apart when someone cleared their throat.

I looked up to see my family as well as two officers standing in the room with us.

"Sorry to disturb, but we received a call about a missing person?" Said the female officer

Rose coughed clearing her throat as she looked down at AJ. I saw the torment in her eyes as she smiled down upon him sadly. "Could you give me a minute? I would prefer if he wasn't in the room."

The officers nodded their heads as Esme spoke up "why don't I take him in the other room?" Esme ask as she step forward for Rose to hand him over.

Rose went to hand him over to her and he began shaking his head no furiously as he held onto her with all his might.. Rose pulled him in closer to her kissing his forehead "AJ sweetheart, I promise

I wouldn't let anything happen to you. Nana Esme will be with you the hold time and I'll come for you as soon as I finish in here." She whispered so softly to him that I wouldn't have heard her if she wasn't standing so close to me.

Her promise to him had my mind reeling as well as the way AJ was behaving. Making me think there was more than met the eye. In my profession it's easy to pick up on signs of trauma; however I dismissed those thoughts immediately my son nor Rosalie are patients of mine and more importantly we needed to find Bella.

After some gentle soothing and reassurance from Rose, AJ allowed Rose to hand him over to Esme.

Rose watched Esme's retreating figure as she left the room with AJ and I could tell by her demeanor that she too didn't really wanted to let go. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze causing her to smile up at me weakly before turning her attention to the officers.

"I was the one that made the call. I was here dropping my friend's son back home. I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary as I arrived. I let myself in as I normally do however after calling out for Bella a few times and getting no answer I knew something was wrong. I searched downstairs for her and then proceeded upstairs. Upon entering her room it was in such disarray and her suitcases were gone and in the middle of her bed was a letter" She said trailing off looking back to the direction where Esme disappeared with AJ.

"Can you point us to the direction of your friend's room?"

"It's the first door to the right at the top of the stairs"

The female officer proceeds upstairs while her partner remains downstairs and continued with the questioning.

His partner returned shortly and began whispering to her partner as she handed him what appeared to be the letter Rose was talking about.

As Rose eyes the two officers I was her stance stiffen as she watched the female officer partner read the letter.

The officer finished reading the letter and looked at the Rose sadly. "Ms Hale have you read this letter?"

"Yes" she answered barely above a whisper

"Then you'll realize that no crime was committed and that this is a goodbye letter."

My heart thud at the word goodbye as my mind shouted 'not again.'

"Bella didn't right that letter" she responded harshly.

"I know you don't want to believe that Ms Hale but..." Rose cut the officer off

**"I know Bella and she wouldn't abandon her children no matter what that letter says. Someone took her!"** she demanded

"Did you recognize the signature Ms Hale?"

"Yes but her signature can easily be forged." she replied defensively.

The officer just nodded his head as he looked between Carlisle, Emmett and me "Which one of you is Edward?"

I spoke up announcing myself as the officer nodded his head with an extremely apologetic look on his face.

"With missing people cases there is nothing we can do for the first 48hrs, especially when dealing with adults. However with a letter like this and no signs of foul play there isn't much we can go on. There are no signs of a break in, struggle or any eye witness."

Rose face began to turn red as she clutches her hands into fist.

Looking over the letter one last time the officer shook his head before looking up at me grimly "I believe it was meant for you."

I took the letter with shaky hands. I couldn't even bring myself to read it as my eyes immediately sorted out Rosalie.

I could tell she was biting the inside of her lip tightly; as she fought back the tears that was threatening to escape.

She stared offensively at the letter in my hand before looking up to me with various emotions flicking across her features. I never had seen her look so resign. Rosalie from the moment I met her she has always been the pillar of strength not only to Bella but me as well.

With a heavy sigh I began to read the letter,

_Dearest Edward,_

_I'm truly sorry for what I'm about to do however it's for the best. Ashley and Anthony deserve better than someone like me. I ruin everything I touch....._

I couldn't read anymore those words said it all. Bella left "no not again" I whispered as I crumble to the floor with the letter still in my hand.

I heard the officer say something but I was too far gone by just those few sentences to even respond rationally.

I heard Rosalie yelling and I think I even heard Carlisle's voice but I couldn't be too sure.

Had the last month not meant anything to her? Was she planning this all along, was that the real reason she didn't want to be in a relationship with me because she knew she wouldn't be around?

Was this her way in lessening the pain?

As my mind thought of various reasons why I became pissed

How the fuck could she do something like this?

I couldn't tell you how much time lapsed or when the police left. I was in a state of shock and felt my world was falling apart dangerously fast.

What do you do when everything around you is falling apart?

So many of my patients asked me that same question; during their sessions. And in my profession I gave them what I thought was the best solution for their problems. However as I face what's going on now I find myself to be a hypocrite. Seriously how could I give someone advice like that when right now all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die.

It felt like the wounds that had just finally healed after five and half years were being ripped open wide.

I saw when Rose squatted down in front of me and I felt as she grabbed my hands into hers; however as her lips began moving I heard nothing.

I wasn't snap out of my stupor until I felt her hand slap me hard.

"Bella didn't write that"

"I want to truly believe that Rose but..."

She cut me off by smacking me again "No Buts god dammit you out of everyone should see the lies written plain as day in that blasphemy."

I gaze fell upon movement behind her were Esme stood with AJ. Rose turned around to follow my gaze and her posture immediately softens when she saw AJ. It however didn't escape my notice the deadly look she shot towards Alice who stood near Emmett.

Rosalie just grabbed me with all her might pulling me outside on the patio.

She closed the door behind us before laying it into me "After everything that's happen between you and Bella this last month you're really going to believe she wrote that letter" She demanded throwing her arms in the air

"You and I both know it wouldn't be the first time Bella "vanishes" a month after us fucking, but at least this time she had the courtesy to leave a fucking goodbye letter."

Rose stood shellshock from my words and in all honesty I was shock I said them as well. My mind truly did want to believe Rose but the past was repeating itself too much for me to ignore it.

"I'm going to act like you just didn't just say what you said. Both of our emotions are running high and I can truly understand where the pain and anguish is coming from; but don't let it cloud your judgment. I know you didn't read the letter fully however right now you're not in the right state of mind to read it. I'm going to leave you alone for a bit to check on AJ. You remember him right? Incase you forgot he's one of the two children Bella would give her life for. You may have valid reasons to doubt the love Bella has for you; however by believing what's written in that letter you doubt her love for her children. And I will be damn if I let anyone believe that bullshit." She spat as she walked inside

I sat on the grass just staring up at the sky as I began to cry.

All of this truly did hurt too much. How the hell is I suppose to stay strong and positive for Ashley now on top of this?

'Oh God Ashley' I thought to myself which caused a real deep sob to break though me.

It was the first time I actually let everything all out for my daughter. For the last two months whenever around Bella I had to keep in all in and be strong for her.

Was Ashley being sick simply too much for her? Would Bella truly abandon her children?

My mind automatically thought back to Rose's underlining meaning of the depth of Bella's love for them.

My mind was still reeling from the impact of everything that was going on, when the patio door opened and closed.

Whoever it was didn't make a noise. As I turned around I saw an extremely pale Rosalie and she was wrapping her arms around herself shaking; as if she was trying to hold herself together but failing miserably.

I got up off my spot on the grass walking over to her without even saying a word as I held her. We were both each others pillar as we comfort one another.

We still held each other even when our tears stop. After awhile I pulled away looking up at the window with the light on "I'm going to check on AJ, will you be okay?"

"Yeah, give him a big hug and kiss for me." She whispered

I just nodded my head. No one was downstairs when I came inside so I just headed straight to AJ's room. In his room Carlisle was holding a solemnly looking Esme who was sitting the edge of AJ's bed. And Emmett was looking out the window sadly down upon a grieving Rosalie.

I felt bad for what those two was going through. Ever since the scene at the hospital between him and I, Rosalie told him she needed a break. She didn't like his eavesdropping and called him out on instead of helping Bella his big mouth only hurt her more.

"Where's Alice?" I asked noticing she was missing

"Rose sent her home" Esme said smiling sadly at me as she got off the bed walking towards me.

"I don't know what's going through your mind; however I can tell you're hurting; we're all hurting from this Edward. I haven't seen what's in that letter but speaking as a mother, I know Bella wouldn't have abandoned her children especially after what she went through with her own parents. You look at that mural above that little boy's bed and then really ask yourself 'could a real mother really turn her back on that kind of love?" she said as she hugged me before leaving the room.

I hadn't even realized the others left during my exchange with Esme. I looked up at the mural Esme was talking about and there was no denying it was made out of love.

Bella always had an artistic eye and always used painting as a way to convey her emotions when we were younger.

The mural was beautiful and captured the tranquility of the ocean beautifully. However that wasn't what made the painting stand out. On the shore were two kids playing with no care in the world. You would think the children were alone but if you really looked hard enough you'll see two hidden figures; one in the sky and one within the ocean.

But what i like the most about the painting each figure were touch upon the other, connecting all four but most importantly the four figures were of us.

I remember three weeks back when she painted this painting and I asked her why this concept?

_**Flashback**_

_She looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes and said "if you have to ask then I'm afraid you don't know me very well Mr. Cullen"_

_We both laughed at her playfulness as she swatted me with a paint brush. I knew what the ocean meant for Bella however I didn't understand why she drew me in the sky and her in the ocean._

_She turned her back to me wrapping her arms around herself looking at her work. "It's a representation of how I view my life both past and present finally connecting as one."_

_"Take this part of the picture for example of the children playing free with no care in the world. Anyone just looking at the picture would assume their alone however as you can see the water and the sky is always touching them both equally. Ashley and AJ are always surrounded by our love and influence."_

_See turns back around looking at me with tears in her eyes as she grabbed my hand placing it above her heart._

_"You always told me I've never seen myself clearly and you're right. I had a warp perception of myself once upon a time; I still do every now and then. I see myself as ocean because just like the ocean my life was and is constant changing._

_I used to hate change but now I welcome it because without change I wouldn't be where I am right now; better yet we wouldn't be where are right now._

_And the reason why you're in the sky is because I always thought of you as someone who watched over me. You loved me when my own parents love me and when I didn't have any love for myself._

_So it's only appropriate that you would be in the sky not only looking over our children but myself as well._

_I see you as my savior Edward, you've saved me so many times that I've lost count. Even in your absences throughout the years your influence was still presence in my life."_

_She tapped the hand above her heart and whispered "I cannot live without my heart."_

_She then moved my hand from above her heart to where her tattoo was on her wrist "I cannot live without my pulse. I know at first glimpse you'll only see your initials but if you look closer within the heart you'll see both Ashley and AJ's name as well. You saved me from my past and they gave me a reason to live."_

_I just looked at her with so much love and devotion. I wanted to kiss her so badly however I had to remain myself just friends; so I did the next best thing "I love you Bella"_

_She smiled at me brightly tipping up on her toes to kiss me on the cheek "I love you too" She whispered in my ear before pulling away_

_"c'mon let's go and pick up our little boy before the fumes get to us" She tease as she pulled me out the room._

_**End of Flashback**_

I looked at our little boy holding a picture of his mother in his arms and I my heart soared for my children and Bella wherever she's at.

"I'll make things right again AJ I promise." I whispered to him as I kissed his forehead

I pulled his blanket over him tightly before leaving his room.

Back downstairs I found the others sitting in the living room. I looked straight past them out towards the patio where Rosalie stood still trying to hold herself together.

I gathered by the fact that she was still outside she didn't like others to see her weak. She remained strong for Bella with the whole custody issue and Ashley being sick. Hell she was even there for me whenever I found myself at my weakest.

Rose was a force to be reckon with, she's always level-headed, fiercely loyal and for the most excellent judge of credit.

I knew my judgment was clouded from the past but now that my mind is somewhat cleared it was wondering 'what if's'

As I walked out on the patio Rose was talking on her phone "I love you too." She whispered as she hung up the phone.

Rose turned around seeming startle to find be behind her "Hey how's AJ doing?"

"He's just seemed so lost. He fell asleep holding a picture of his mother."

She smiled sadly at me before speaking "No matter what was going in her life she made sure she was always home to put them to bed and to tell them how much she love's them. I just know that she'll fight her damnest to get back home to the ones she love."

"Do you truly believe without a shadow of a doubt Bella didn't write that letter?"

She looked at me reaching into her back pocket "Read this fully without skimming through it and you'll see the lies clearly. Bella love's her children and would give her own life for them. You had doubts and misunderstandings once in regards to Bella and it caused you both 5 1/2 years you cannot get back. Bella will need you to be strong for the kids but most importantly to believe in her especially now, don't make that same mistake twice by losing fate. I have to believe she'll find her way back home."

Again as she was speaking I wanted to believe but just like the cops said there were no signs of foul play. And the whole house was left untouched except for Bella's room.

The doctor in me felt she was going through the five stages of grieve and was in stage one denial. I couldn't tell you how many times how many patients just couldn't accept reality; but as Rose's words turned over in my head I began to think what if I was the one in denial?

I mean Rose was right Bella and I did have 5 1/2 years that we could never get back due to misunderstandings.

As she walked past me to head inside I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. "For what it's worth Rose thank you. I know you and Emmett are going through some things right now but if anything I've learn over the last few months fight hard if it's worth it."

Rosalie removed herself from my embrace and just stared at me like she was searching for something. I really couldn't tell you what emotions I was conveying because my emotions were all over the place.

"I know its going to be hard to read the letter but read it fully and you'll see what I see; also no need for thanks amongst family" She whispered as she headed inside.

I began to think of alternate scenarios what if Rose's is right or what if Bella's was force to write the letter as her words kept playing themselves in my mind

_Dearest Edward,_

_If you're reading this it means I've came to my senses and finally doing the right thing. Something I've should have done along time ago._

_I'm truly sorry for what I'm about to do however it's for the best. Ashley and Anthony deserve better than someone like me, I ruin everything I touch._

_I'm sorry for the burden I've place upon your life and the lives of your family. I've been living a pipe dream these last few years holding onto hope that one day you could love me and accept me for all my faults._

_This is my finally act to you, your family and YOUR children. I can no longer call them mine. I held onto those children over the years for selfish reasons. They're part of the one thing I couldn't have and provided a better substitute for that one thing, which was you._

_Now due to my selfish behavior your daughter Ashley is paying the ultimate price, her life. I cannot in good conscience place these children lives in neither danger anymore, nor can I no longer act like I actually care for them._

_They were just pawns to obtain something I wanted and with everything going on between us lately I know it's a lost cause. I'm a selfish person and will always remain that way._

_So I'm free everyone from that burden and pain of having me in their lives. Ashley and Anthony are at a age were eventually they'll forget about me in time. My last request to you is if and when they ask about their mother in the future; tell them she died giving birth to them. That way you save them learning the truth of what a horrible person, monster and mother the really have._

_Think of this as my first and only selfless act. Most importantly do not waste your time looking for me I'll never be found. I'll always carry you in my heart. Even though you weren't my first; you'll always be that one in every sense of the way. I told you a long ago I wasn't the one for you. I truly hope you see that now._

_Isabella Swan-Cullen_

As I finished reading the letter I felt like an ass for even doubting Rosalie something was completely off with this whole entire letter. I ran back into the house ignoring the calls of my family as I headed out the front door to my car. I sat in my car pulling out the folder Bella had given me awhile back and opened on of the letters she had written me.

_Edward,_

_God this is so hard for me to write or even put into words. When I found out I was pregnant it was the single most joyous moment in my life and it made me want to do better for myself. Not only for you but for the lives of our unborn children; God not one but two can you truly believe that? Me having children, twins nevertheless but most importantly your children._

_I wanted to tell you immediately but I knew I had to work on myself first so I went to Esme and Carlisle instead. I didn't tell them about the pregnancy because I wanted you to learn before anyone else. I'll regret that decision forever but I pray one day you'll forgive._

_I could have fought harder that day to tell you however a part of me just wanted to free you from the pain I caused you throughout the years. You were loyal, loving and always there for me. Instead of me treasuring the things you've done for me I threw it away without a care. God I swear if given a chance to make things right again with you. I'll do things differently._

_I don't want to admit this in a letter but what else can I do? I'm too afraid to face you right now for so many reasons. I love you Edward and I'm so sorry it took me so long to see it……_

_Yours Always,_

_Bella_

I ripped open each letter looking at how she addressed them and they all started with just my name and each ended with '_Yours Always, Bella'. _I took all the letters into the house just not knowing what to do but the one thing I was 100% certain of Bella didn't right that letter. I took Bella's entire letters and went into her den. While in her den I began searching through her drawers looking for any other letters she may have written to compare. "What are you looking for maybe I can help you?" Came Rose's voice startling me

"I'm sorry for not believing you but I do now. She really didn't write that letter. I went out to my car comparing the letters she gave me and the opening/ closing even signatures don't match up."

"I know that, what Bella never told anyone when she moved to Chicago, she legal dropped Isabella to just Bella and cut the Swan hyphenated. "

"Why did you tell the cops that?"

"Alice." She stated simply

"You couldn't possible believe……Besides she was with us and lying to the cops will only hinder the investigation"

"I'll do _**ANYTHING**_ to protect Bella or someone she loves, You would too also It's the perfect alibi Edward. Out of everyone in Bella's life, who hates her the most and would do something extreme as this? "

"She wouldn't."

"Be in denial all you want but I know she's behind Bella's disappearance. While you were zoning out earlier when the cops were still here she was quick to inform the police this wasn't the first time Bella pulled a disappearing act. I don't trust her and mark my words if I find out she's behind ripping Bella away from her family; she better pray I don't find her because I'll make her fucking pay and wish she wasn't fucking born. Esme is a wonderful woman but has a bitch of a fucking daughter. Open your eyes Edward; If Esme can see Alice for what she is why cant you? Why off the back without reading the letter fully you believe Bella wrote it? I mention Alice's name as being responsible for the love of your life's disappearance and dismiss it without even giving it a second thought that she could do something like that? Why have so much fate in her but not Bella?"

"I don't know"

She just nodded her head in understanding "I know past experiences with Bella speaks for itself but you have to admit from reading that letter its someone who _THINKS_ they know Bella's past but really doesn't. Not too many people know her past Edward and only three people know what's been going on between you two this last month, Two of those people are in this very room while the other is missing that damn letter said your love was returned, when we both know good as damn well it was; however Alice doesn't know that."

"If you right what do we do?"

"We have 48 hours to make a complying case to which ever detective takes on Bella's case also if the cops don't do anything I know someone who works for the FBI, which I've already contacted."

"The FBI, Do you think we'll really need them?"

"If it means getting Bella home you'd doing anything right?"

"Yes"

"Then you have your answer. I'm going to go and check on AJ." She said as she left the room

I sat in Bella's den for awhile just staring at the pictures and various arts praying for some kind of miracle to bring Bella home safely. I picked up her phone in attempts to call someone who could help us but got no dial tone. I searched my pockets for my cell realizing I left it in my car. Rushing out to my car I found my cell phone and immediately saw I had over 25 miss calls from the hospital.

'_God please don't let this mean what I think it does. I cannot take anymore bad news'_ I prayed

However as I spoke to the doctor on duty my heart soars and sunk at the same time Ashley was awake. It was the best news I could have gotten but how do I explain to her, her mother is missing?

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**A/N**

***disclaimer***

**While Rosalie and Edward ARE or SEEM extremely close they WILL NOT be having some sort of illicit affair EVER.**

**Now that's out the way thank you to all those who reviewed. I know I thanked you guys personally when I reply to the reviews but I just wanted to thank you awesome readers again.**

**P.S**

**Glad I surprised pretty much all of you on the Jasper twist**

**So any takes on the "Jacob" mystery?**

**IWAH Preview (3 different POV easy to guess)**

_I held the gun aiming at my target with no care in the world. I was out for blood consequences be damned._

_My hands were tied behind me and my vision was extremely hazy as I attempted to take in my surrounds. I must have made a noise as I felt another prick in my neck before passing out again._

_I did my happy dance mentally as everything began to fall into place. After all these years I finally succeed in abstracting my revenge._


	44. Bang Bang? Pt1

_First off I want to apologize for having this chapter out so late. I swear I didn't mean to take this long with it but writing four different POV's and attempting to make each have their own tone was difficult. So I hope you guys find this chapter to your liking and the __**FUN**__ has just begun__**. FYI**__ Ashley's POV is in here and may seem weird but it's her recap of things. I personally feel people in comas are aware of what's going on around them. I also believe in the power of twin connections and how deep they are rooted._

Bella's POV is going to be extremely short and part of it will show up in Edward's. This is a very load chapter and has to be split into two.

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**BPOV**

I felt my body being jostled causing me to open my eyes. I moaned out loud AJ's name.

"Don't worry Izzy in a year or two he won't even remember you, then again by then you'll be nothing but bones in an unmarked grave. Your children will grow up hating you after all no one will look for you after that goodbye letter you left." A voice said from beside me

I turned to my left seeing the face of a monster. Still staring at him I realized my hands were free however I was in a moving car. As I continued to stare my mind churned over his words especially about a goodbye letter.

"You're lying I didn't write anything" I said groggy

"They don't know that" He replied with a menacing smile

I moved my right hand to my side out of his view. I didn't know what I was going to do but I had to do something.

I had to get back to my children no matter what I refuse to have them grow up thinking I didn't love them.

The only possible thing I could think of was to possible cause a car accident. Taking a deep breathes and with the hand outside his view I balled it into a fist and lunged at him as he drove.

He attempted to push me away while trying to stay on the road. I grabbed the lighter thingy in the car and pushed it against his neck.

The car swerved and he hit on the brakes. I immediately went for the door handle but his hand grabbed me from behind as I attempted to get away.

I felt his face collide against my face "you stupid bitch" he spat as felt a prick in my arm. I looked down at my arm as he pulled out the needle "You'll pay for this little stunt later bitch" were the last words I heard as whatever he injected into my system took effect.

My hands were tied behind me and my vision was extremely hazy as I attempted to take in my surrounds. I must have made a noise as I felt another prick in my neck before passing out again.

"No" I mumbled as I felt the needle make contact with my skin. Whatever he was giving me was making me extremely nauseous and disorientated.

I don't know how long I was out this time however I made sure to keep my breathing even, my eyes close and made sure not make a sound. I refused to drug again because I didn't like how it made me feel.

While I was faking being unconscious his phone rang

"Hello" he answered roughly and annoyed

Even though I couldn't hear the other side of his conversation; I just knew whoever he was speaking with was his accomplice by the nature of the phone call.

"She's was a little bit rowdy but you know I like it rough" he said with malice in his voice as his hand landed on my thigh. I felt disgusted that the pig was touching me however I didn't move nor make a noise letting on I was awake.

Despite being at a disadvantage my survival instincts was still kicking and I knew whatever was said as I was 'unconscious' could be helpful.

"Yeah, Yeah I'll have my fun afterwards when you're through with her. So did they buy the letter?"

There was a silence pause as he listened to whatever the person was saying "fucking Blondie" I heard him hissed

My mind was reeling over this information. His accomplice was someone I know and if I had to guess I would say Alice. It was also obvious that whatever they did Rosalie wasn't buying it.

She was my only solace in all of this and I knew without a doubt she'll convince the others especially Edward.

"You better take care of Blondie" I heard him say before he hung up.

I prayed whoever was his accomplice did go after Rosalie because that might be my only chance. People doubted the length of what she or anyone in her family would go through to protect the ones they love.

The only thing I had to do was survive long enough for her to find me. A wave of nausea crashed over me later effectively putting an end to my charade of still being unconscious as I began throwing up.

"Aww sleeping beauty is awake" he replied sarcastically

"Fuck you" I mumbled as I rested my head against the cool window.

"Oh I intend on doing just that" he said making me even sicker to my stomach; as I felt another prick in my arm causing me to black out again

"You'll never get away with this" were the last words I mumbled

**-**

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**-**

RPOV

I stayed at the cabin for awhile to gather my bearings. Last night and this morning has truly been one emotionally rollercoaster ride with no end in sight.

As I stared at a picture of what used to be, I found myself gathering all my belongings and heading down a familiar path.

I avoided taking this path for many years but as I reached my destination I notice someone has been here recently. I knew without a doubt it had to be Jasper that visited here. Jasper had no guilt or demons eating away at him when it came to this place.

Just being at this place made me hate myself and even more emotionally. I dropped to my knees, curling myself onto the ground.

I traced my fingers against the marble before me. "You must be very disappointed in me" I whispered into the air

"In the eight years you've been gone I've only visited twice. Once when we buried you and wh......when momma took her life. I know you didn't want me to blame myself but how can I not when you're gone because of me; not to mention momma's last words to me was that she'll never forgive me. I took you away from her poppa and she died hating me."

I lay on the ground by my father's tombstone looking towards my mother's grave whispering "please forgive me momma"

"Not a day goes by that I don't regret my actions now knowing the consequences; actually it's not so much my actions I regret but the consequences." I sobbed as I hugged his tombstone.

I needed to feel close to my father again. Hell right now I just needed my father in my life period. Don't get me wrong I love me mother even after her last words to me; but it was always my father who comfort me and gave me strength.

"Oh daddy I need you" I cried

The wind began to pick up as I cried and I swore for a quick second I smelt the musky scent of my father's cologne. As I continued to cry it felt like the wind was wrapping itself around me cradling me from my pain.

"I don't know if you remember Bella poppa but we managed to remain great friends over the last eight years. She even made Jasper and I the godparents of her children. It's because of her children and her I was even able to step foot back in the cabin. While I'll never forget the image of mom taking her life; they've made the pain of going in there painful. Bella's been my strength throughout the years since you've been gone. It's because of her why am here today. Someone took her; ripping her away from her family"

"You taught me a valuable lesson of the importance's of family and the length you go to protect them. Bella may not be my blood relative however she's just as much as family as Jasper is to me.

"You once said how our family was forever in debt to Bella for saving my life. While I'm not keeping score cards or anything, Bella's life is in danger now and I just cannot sit back waiting. She may not have that much time.

I know you're going to be looking down at me probably thinking am ungrateful for the actions I'm about to partake in; however I'm prepared to accept my consequences. I'll always be your little girl daddy but I don't need protection now.

If it's my time to go this time around please understand I accept my destiny openly. I know if you were here you'll do the same."

I got up onto my knees and placed a kiss on my father's tombstone "I love poppa" I whispered as I stood up

I walked over to my mother's grave placing my hand on her tombstone. "I miss you so much momma and I hope one day you can forgive me. I love you so much"

I left my parents gravesite walking back towards the cabin feeling a little bit at piece. The trip to their grave was long overdue and I vowed to return soon.

Once back at my car, I looked towards the cabin one last time before driving away. As I drove back towards the hospital I was certain about one thing, I had to tell Edward the truth; for Bella would want him to know. Besides I didn't feel right about asking AJ to lie to his father even though he wasn't speaking now; the shock of what he witness will wear off eventually. And I needed to prepare him for that moment.

**ACPOV**

I was giddy with fucking joy and internally doing a fucking happy dance. Bella was taken without a hitch and most importantly Edward believes she wrote the letter.

Rosalie I expected was going to be a problem however if Blondie knew what's good for her she'll leave well enough alone. The only shocker was my mother's response to Bella being missing.

Whenever it came to Bella; next to Rosalie my mother was her number one supporter. This is one of the many reasons I hate Bella with a passion.

That girl is fucking poison and the sooner I rid the world of her the better. I also hate my parents for accepting her so openly into our lives; Bella is an ungrateful bitch.

She took from my family for the last time; then again those bastards aren't even my real family.

The drive to our meeting location was extremely long but was worth every minute. The plan is to get Bella as far away as possible before we dispose of her and I wanted my face to be the last face she sees right before she dies.

I would give Bella the one thing she always failed at and I couldn't be any happier to know she'll die at mine hands. As I pulled up to the meeting point I saw a commotion that I just couldn't resist getting involved with. I saw a shadow run off in the distance and another laying on the floor. "Incompetence" I mumbled as I stepped over him reaching into his pockets before proceeding to run after the stupid bitch.

I saw her leaning against a tree looking around her surrounds with an object in her hand without even thinking I held the gun aiming at my target with no care in the world.

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**Ashley POV**

Darkness was surrounding me everywhere except for a small bleaker of light at the end of a tunnel.

I attempted to run closer towards the light but the more I kept moving the further it seem to get. I wasn't afraid or anything because I felt like there was a presence there watching over me keeping me safe.

As I continued my journey to the light ahead I heard my mother's voice "Take your time and heal then come back to us healthy" were the words she said to me

What exactly did she mean? I have no clue but all I did know was that I wanted to go back home so mom wouldn't sound so sad.

I only way I knew of time passing by was in the tone in my mother's voice and the other voices around me. At first it was hopeful however day by day the hope dwindles.

When the darkness first came over me I heard my mother scream out to me in fear. I tried to fight against the darkness to get back to my mother but something or someone held me in this place letting me know it wasn't my time to go back home yet.

After awhile I stopped trying to reach the light because the constant running towards the light made me feel weak, tired and just hopeless. So I took my mom's and Edward's advice, I rested by just letting the darkness wrap it's self around me as I listen to my love ones voices; as my body attempted to heal from within.

Hearing their voices was soothing and for now that was all I needed.

Before I came to the place am in now, I thought the worst of Edward. I had believed deep within me that he wanted to take mom away from us especially after meeting his girlfriend.

I couldn't allow that to happen so I never let him in fully and only cooperated with him for the sake of mom. I would do anything to make her happy and she seemed her happiest when I was getting along with Edward even if it was just a show on my part.

However ever since being in this place I've come to appreciate, respect and love Edward. I expected him not to care about my wellbeing however he was always at my side right along with mom.

I came to learn whenever it was just me and Edward how much he truly did love AJ, me and most importantly my mom. Edward was really great at hiding his emotions put when it was just the two of us, he'll break down crying asking for guidance and for his mother Elizabeth to watch over me.

He would tell much how much he missed not being in my life sooner and once I get better he'll make it up to not only to me but to AJ and mom as well.

I would love to hear him talk about mom when she was younger and the silly things they used to do when they were my age. As he talked about their childhood you could hear the love, sincerity and fondness he held for mom.

To think it took me being in a coma to truly get to know Edward the man who's also my father. One thing for sure whenever I do wake up this calling him Edward business was over. He deserved the same respect I give mom.

He sat with me every day however that wasn't the main thing that sold me on his love. Mom drove the point home when she came one day at her weakest point.

I heard the fear, tiredness and sense of lost in her voice as she begged and pleaded with me.

**Flashback**

_"Hey Angel, it's me mommy." _

_"Even without your beautiful mane you're still the most beautiful little girl ever." I smiled down upon my sleeping beauty and silently prayed to god to watch over my Angel and bring her back home to us healthy._

_"I'll make you a promise baby girl" _

_I felt comforting arms wrap themselves around me as my mother continued to speak and cried "AJ misses his sissy and your dad...... He loves you so much you know and he wants nothing more than to be a father to both you and AJ. Did you know I robbed him almost six years that he can never get back?_

_Not a day goes by that I wish I didn't do things differently. I was so scared then Ash. Heck I'm even more scared now. I have more to lose now than I did then." I breathe heavily_

_"If I were to lose..." I wanted to wake up right then and there hearing the desperation in my mother's voice._

"_In all honesty Ash, I would love nothing more for AJ, you, your dad and I to be one big happy family._ _Your father and your auntie Rose think my reasons are to protect my heart. While I may have lead those to believe that the truth of the matter is that's not the real reason why I can't be with you father._ _My reasons run deep within me. I know what it felt like to lose your father once and that nearly destroyed me. I do not know what it's like to lose a child Ashley. And don't you think for a second I'm giving up on you. I'm just letting you know my fears and reason._

_If I were to lose you I know I couldn't survive that type of pain fully but most important your dad well that WILL destroy him._

_Your dad told me how much he loves me and wants us to have a fighting chance. I want to believe that so badly Ashley but I cannot get past one of the most important fears in my life."_

_"Losing you or even your brother, that's my most important fear. Your daddy may love me now but if we were to lose you that love will turn to hatred. I know if I were to tell him and your auntie Rose my fears they'll deny it; but no matter what they say I'll know it to be true._

_Like I said before Ashley, I robbed your daddy almost six years. Six years he can never get back. Six years of not knowing his children. First words, first steps, first tooth, first tooth lost, first father's day, you guys first Christmas, especially first day of kindergarten. Your daddy missed many of firsts because of me that I can never get back and if you were.....If we were to lose you there would be no hope for your father and me. I had those six glorious years he missed out on, while he only had what 4-5 months?_

_I cannot lose you and have your daddy hating me at the same time. I know you're too young to understand this and you may not even heard anything I told you this entire time, with you being in a coma and all._

_I need you to understand one thing. Your father has always been everything to me since we were four years old. It just took me a long time to realize how deep my feelings ran for your father. The moment I realize these feelings; my life changed forever. On that day your father completed my life by giving me three greatest gifts._

_He gave me apart of himself that he could never give to anyone else but most importantly he gave me two most_ _important treasures that I hold dear to my heart, AJ and you are those treasures Ashley._ _All four of us make a whole and if I was only half living with just the three of us. God I don't even want to imagine what it'll be like losing you. I need all three of you to make me whole so please continue fighting baby girl. Like I said before I'll make you a promise. I'll fight for your father and me but I need you to help me Ashley. I cannot do this without you. I need you to continue fighting. I need you to wake up out of this coma. I need to hear that beautiful laughter of yours but most importantly I need you so that your father can experience many first to come._

_We can't give him back the ones he missed but we can give him many more. I have so much fate in you my angel. I know it's not your time yet so just work on getting better and I promise to fight for our family; also I'll tell you father how much I want, love and need him in my life._

_I'm going to go back to my old therapist so I can get past my fears. I am going to take this time to rebuild the relationship between your dad and me. I'm going to stop running Ashley, I cannot continue to let fear rule me Anymore. Be strong for me baby, I love you."_

_End of Flashback_

It was in her helplessness that gave me the strength to start back my journey back to the light. My body was still weak and made me tired easily but I had a new sense of determination. I had to make sure mom was able to keep her promise.

Just hearing her pour out her soul to me made me realize how much of her life she sacrificed for us; and I refused to let her continue to put her happiness on hold. She love's my father with all her heart just as he loves her but she was afraid.

I was afraid at one point too, a part of me still is. There are times when my body just gives up on me, as I walk towards that light were my family voices are coming from.

I would lay there so weak attempting to reach out towards the light clutching onto the locket around my neck begging for someone to help me. No lie during these moments even though I cannot see no one I swear someone is there carrying me half way; and as they carry me while I rest in their arms the light shines a bit brighter giving me hope.

I felt continuous comfort as the person carried me and I slowly felt my body become stronger. Suddenly out of nowhere the darkness around me changed. I felt alone and scared for the first time as I heard my brother call out to me; however his voice was coming from the light.

"AJ" I called out within the darkness but no one answered me. I was feeling a course of emotions run through me that wasn't mine fear, abandonment and overall sadness.

I stood in my spot afraid to move eventually I began to dream which was another first time occurrence within the darkness.

In the dream I was no longer in the darkness but back in my bedroom back home. ; However something felt off and entirely wrong.

My bed had looked like someone had recently slept in it and there was an outline of an unfinished mural above my bed but those weren't what felt wrong to me, No I was feeling emotions that weren't mine own; these emotions were crippling me. I walked into the bathroom connecting the two bedrooms and saw my brother curled with fear in the corner mumbling continuously _"I need you Ashley."_

We always had some freaky connection with one another but this was beyond weird; seriously what could possibly have happened to have him producing this amount of sorrow and fear. I sat next to him placing my hand on his shoulder hoping he could feel my presences after all it was my dream right? Shouldn't I have some sort of control over it?

"AJ what's wrong?"

All he did was point to a picture of mom saying "He took her"

I felt angry and confusion boiling within me, I didn't like this dream and wanted to wake up badly from up; this wasn't even what one would consider a dream because dreams are pleasant no this was a nightmare. I went to hug my brother when I felt hands holding me down. I struggled against the hands and shot up out of bed screaming for my mother.

I didn't recognized the people in the room around me but I was relieved to know I was finally awake, like awake, awake; however none of these people were who I expected to see upon waking up. I wanted my parents more importantly I wanted my mother. "Ashley you have to calm down"

"NO GET OFF ME, I WANT MY MOM" I shouted

The nurse held me down telling me to calm down and attempting to soothe me with my mother would be here soon. However that wasn't calming me and the next thing I knew my eyes were getting heavy as I felt into a dreamless slumber.

I woke up again in an empty dark room alone and that scared me. Did I only dream my mother and Edward constantly being my side? Tears flowed down my face freely as I felt the absences of my parents. I didn't even realize I was sobbing loudly until I felt a nurse trying to comfort me as a doctor did something to the tube connected to my arm, causing me to fall into another deep dreamless slumber.

I don't know how long I slept this time but the next time I woke up I knew I wasn't alone because I felt two people laying on either side of me. This felt safe and like home so I welcome it.

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**Author's note**

**Next Chapter is part two and might be a bit confusing because it's going to be two POV in one…Well sort of anyways…**

**Without giving away too much I will say that something BAD is going to happen.**

**I assure you I'll be updating this story weekly no more delays. So please expect atleast 3-5 updates this week to make up for the delay. **

**Hope people are still out there**


	45. IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

First off I want to say this isn't how I planned or structured this chapter or the others that will follow.

I was in the midst of adding finishing touches when my computer just automatically restarted on me. It did that a couple times before and just ended booting back up on its own. Long story short my computer keeps restarting on the Windows XP screen. I cannot even boot it in safe mode. I had to get my windows reinstalled and system reformatted. So in turn, I lost all finished and outline chapters for all my stories. That being said all stories besides this one will be taken down. I still know where I'm going with this story because its fresh in my mind. The others however are not and it gives me a chance to rework them.

**Shattered Tears** I came up with a new concept. The storyline will remain the same especially the bond between Alice and Bella. The difference will come in how I end the story and sequel to it.

**Learning How to Breathe Again** shall remain the same. Lucky with this story two future chapters were saved to my flash drive awhile ago. Therefore, I have something to work with.

Anywho that's my sad pathetic story on what's being going on and I WON'T have a computer till I buy a new one since my harddrive is in that big junkyard upstairs now…

I'll have the next chapter out but right now its still be worked on


	46. Awaken

I woke up in an unfamiliar room with beeping noise around me. The noise was getting on my nerve and was only making my headache worst. As I opened my eyes I took in my surroundings and came upon the realization that I was in a hospital.

It wasn't until I saw her folded up awkwardly in the chair sleeping that last night's events came crashing back down upon me. I knew I was in a midst of a panic attack when the machines connected to me started beeping frantically.

The strangers' eyes snapped open almost instantaneously. She hit the call button and held my hand telling me to take deep breathes, in attempts to calm me down.

Doctors and nurses rushed into my room to check up on me. The stranger explained that I had just woken and began to have a panic attack. The doctors couldn't get me to calm down so I was given a mild sedative.

Shortly, after I fell into a deep slumber. Upon waking up again I didn't freaked out but for the first time in my life I felt so alone, vulnerable and scared.

My hospital room was dark and empty. I curled myself into a ball and began to cry softly to myself. After a while I felt someone place their hand on my back causing me to freak out.

"Hey sorry didn't mean to scare you. I heard your whimpers and just want to make sure you were alright." I turned around to see the woman who saved me.

"You stayed." I stated in a hoarse voice. She smiled at me as she reached for the pitcher. She then proceeds to pour me a cup of water before she began speaking again. "I made a promise to you that I would. Do you want me to leave so you can be alone I will?"

"No, No please stay" I nearly shouted as I attempted to sit up. I found it difficult to do which led to the stranger to helping me sit up. "Thank you" I mumbled

"No worries..." she said trailing off with a thoughtful look.

"It's Rosalie but please call me Rose" I stated answer her unanswered question.

Not once did I feel weird out with this stranger whose name I came to learn as Bella. Bella stayed with me till my family came however whenever my father came near me I would shriek at the top of my lungs.

I knew my poppa would never hurt me but I couldn't handle male contact right now especially from someone I trusted. The monster who did this to me was people I knew, two of them at least. The part that wounded me the deepest though was one of the men I believed to be the love of my life.

My father just stared at me with so much pain, hurt and anger in his eyes. I was after all daddies' little girl and someone hurt me but most importantly I was pushing him away.

My mother immediately came to my side and started whispering words of comfort to me "mio bambino caro."

However even a mothers embrace brought me no comfort. I fell asleep eventually and when I woke up my parents were no longer in the room. Instead I found Bella sitting in the chair with a book. I tried sitting up on my own again however she still had to assist me. I just need to take my mind off of my pain so I ask her five simple words. It was with those five simply words that would open the door to an everlasting friendship and it were the response to those five simple words "tell me about your life?" that gave me comfort.

Bella didn't sugarcoat anything or down played or exaggerate her life story she told it like it was. She told me about growing up in a loveless home, meeting the one person who understood her most and she even told me about all her pitfalls.

I was so lost going down memory lane that I almost did hear an angelic voice calling out to me "Auntie Rosie"

I looked up at the voice and smiled at the owner of those beautiful green orbs. I got out of my chair and walked over to the side where AJ was still sleeping looking at the only person who could pull me out my trance. "Well hello my little princess"

Author's note

I know it's been forever... I've written this chapter a long time ago but due to computer issues and medical issues I just haven't had any time... Now that everything is going well I will begin writing again and I promise to finish this story. This is just something short to hold you guys over till I start pound out more chapters within the next few days


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